The Chibi Files
by Saberpilot
Summary: What? Someone's threatening to make Pokemon the only anime ever? Shadow-chan and Saberpilot will put a stop to that.. by turning Bishonen into Chibis! The Adventures of Two College Otaku who are out to save the world- we hope. Chapter 20 up!
1. Project Chibi Ray Start!

A/N: Well, it's the New and Improved Chibi Files 2.0. After much deliberation, myself and the co-author, Shadow-chan, decided that a revamp was in order. What a fun journey it's been. And this time around, expect:  
  
A plot! (audience gasp) A supervillain! (oooh... ahhhh) It's PERMANENT... not like the OLD Chibi Files! (some of the audience shakes their head in confusion) Shorter Chapters! (George W. Bush gets up and starts the Wave) And more thrills and chills than you can shake a bazooka at! (audience goes wild)  
  
And so, I hope that you will enjoy this fic- Shadow and mine's pride and joy. Now onto the FIC!

* * *

It was sunny outside. Or so, the girl sitting at her laptop assumed, as she had not looked towards the window in ages, so determined on her work she was. No one else would have seen anything out of the ordinary in the girl who typed away. No one, except those who knew her.  
  
Those who knew the girl knew that she was far from ordinary. A writer, artist, and inventor all in one; it was no wonder that she'd been given a full scholarship to the university that she attended. However, right now she was not fulfilling any of these previous roles, as she instead did what she enjoyed most:  
  
Searching the net for more information on her favorite anime.  
  
The college girl, Saberpilot, or Saber to her friends, sighed. Nothing new at the moment on the net channels. The same old, same old, truth be told. Her strawberry blonde hair swayed a little as Saberpilot pulled back both of her arms into a stretch.  
  
As she yawned, she felt a set of hands cover her eyes. Raising an eyebrow in confusement, she kept herself calm as usual.  
  
"Guess who?" a feminine voice asked her, a lighthearted chuckle rising from the end of the question.  
  
Saber grinned. "Well... I'd love to say that it was Vash the Stampede, but you know how it is. If it had to be anyone in this universe, I'd guess it was Shadow-chan, Empress of all Evil, Heir to the throne of Darkne-"  
  
The strawberry blonde smirked as she felt the hands lift, and turned to see a familiar dark-brown haired girl standing in front of her, hands on hips. "That's Goddess of Evil, thank you," The girl laughed, then smiled. "So, what is the Saberpilot up to? Hacking again?"  
  
"Hardly," the young woman scoffed. "Just checking the net for more info on my fave shows, as per usual."  
  
"As per usual?" Shadow-chan asked, raising an eyebrow of her own. "Shouldn't you be more concerned with, oh, I don't know... that term paper you have due for Tartski on Friday?"  
  
Saber rolled her blue eyes in answer. "Right. Like I want to type up twenty pages on Huxley's Agnostic Distopia."  
  
"Huxley's Agna whata?" Shadow asked, scratching her head. "Ugh. I don't even want to think about that one. Well, Miss Procrastinator, I came up here to check to see if you'd looked up today's main bitch on AniChat. It's a really grand one today."  
  
"...AniChat?"  
  
"Don't tell me Miss Nethead doesn't know about AniChat."  
  
The blonde looked into her friend's hazel eyes, and sighed. "I don't claim to know everything, skittles-for-brains. Just show it to me already."  
  
"Mind if I-?" She pointed at the girl's laptop.  
  
"I'm not stopping you, am I?"  
  
With that answer, the brown-haired girl took the silver laptop that normally accompanied the strawberry blonde and typed up a web address, ignoring her friend's unspoken complaints, demonstrated by a set of rolled eyes and a stuck-out-tongue.  
  
"Okay. Here we are. Wait, hold on a minute- there's something new here," the college student said, looking puzzled. "AniChat's been... lord and lady- AniChat's been hacked!"  
  
"What? Let me see-" Saber said, pushing her friend out of the way and regaining control of her own precious laptop. She gritted her teeth and ran some basic diagnostics. Seconds later, a pop-up message appeared on the screen. "What the hell...?"  
  
"Read it, java bitch."  
  
"Okay, okay-" Saber leaned forward and started to read aloud. "Anime. The most underappreciated art form ever created."  
  
"So far, I agree, but why go to all this length to hack AniChat to say that? Everyone already knows-"  
  
"Wait. ...form ever created. However, there is one anime that has become unloved in the anime world. It happens to be the beautiful masterpiece known as Pokemon."  
  
Shadow-chan gave Saberpilot a look. "...wait a second. Pokemon? You sure you're reading that right?"  
  
"I didn't stutter, damn it- A new world order should be created around this precious masterpiece, but sadly, it has become misunderstood amidst the many evil animes upon this planet- evils better known by the titles of Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Fullmetal Alchemist, and all that oppose the basic formula that is the greatness of Pokemon."  
  
"...WHAT THE HELL?"  
  
"And so, I shall create a new world order. All the bishonen of the world, that cause these horrible animes to be loved and fawned over shall be destroyed, and I will make sure that none survive! Their unrelaxing and uncute ways are evil! When all is said and done, I shall rule the world and my tool shall be the best anime in existence - Pokemon!"  
  
"...any more to whacko's hack job here?"  
  
"Not much. Pretty much the same stuff that I read earlier."  
  
"Can you get any data on the hacker on this?"  
  
Saberpilot put on her glasses and pulled her laptop closer to her body. Typing quickly, she found the back gate to the slice, then grinned. "Well, whoever it was, they did a pretty crappy hack job on it. Give me a second- ah! Here we go- well, what do ya know? It's another college student."  
  
"Big whoop."  
  
"Her name's Janie Forka."  
  
"Ouch. With a name like that I'd have to take over the world just to get respect too."  
  
"Shit... I know that name," The blonde said, crossing her arms and thinking. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers. "I know how I know that name too- she was the girl who beat me in the Scholar's Invention Competition."  
  
"She beat you?"  
  
Saber sighed. "Yeah. So she might actually have some bite to back up this bark of hers, sadly."  
  
"Do you think she can even wipe the bishis off of the face of the earth? I mean, brainwashing people with pokemon is one thing, look at the twin with her Rockman.exe; but still. How would she pull this off?"  
  
"She's an evil genius!" Saber insisted. "Like me but with your ultimate evil personality. Shadow, we've got to stop this. If she destroys all the other bishonen just because they're not 'cute' like Pokemon... then what are we going to do?" Saber's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Vash! Shadow, she's going to get Vash!"  
  
"And Alucard might be on that list," Shadow mused, crossing her arms as well. "Saber, we've got to stop this."  
  
The blonde nodded in agreement. "But how? We've got to put a stop to this- so how do we make bishonen cuddly and cute? They're handsome, not cute! That's the whole reason they're bishonen!" The girl placed her laptop down on the ground, and placed a knuckle next to her mouth, nebbing it slightly.  
  
Neither one made a single move as both of the collegiates thought. It was then that a miracle occured, Saber looking up with wonder.  
  
"Shadow- a... a chibi ray."  
  
"A what?"  
  
"Listen- this Janie, she won't hurt things that are cute like Pokemon, right? Well, we'll fight back using cuteness. We'll turn bishonen into chibis- I- I have an idea for an invention- a chibi ray. If we use it, we can make them into cute chibis that Janie won't dare hurting- the entire world would come after her for being hypocritical!"  
  
"The entire world will come after her for forcing them to watch Pokemon," Shadow snorted.  
  
"Shadow!"  
  
"We'll need an excuse to be doing this," Shadow pointed out. "If she can get into their universe to destory them, we need an excuse to get into their worlds to save them. Without letting them know they're being saved, of course, because then they'll wanna fight and people will die, yadda yada yadda... I know! We'll tell them they're all taking themselves too seriously and that we're goddesses who are forcing them to relax by giving them this 'special treatment'." Saber blinked, confused. Shadow-chan waved off the strawberry blonde's confusion, jabbering on.. "No, you're right the goddess part is over doing it a bit. Don't you get what I'm saying, Saber?"  
  
"So you're basically saying that they take themselves too seriously?" Saber looked put-out.  
  
"In a nutshell... yes."  
  
"That's all well and good, but how are we supposed to stop this Janie if she has a head start and we can't even get into their universes? I may be a bit brighter than the average bulb, but even I can't dual-link a universe transporter to a chibi ray!"  
  
"You won't have to," Shadow-chan said, standing up and smiling. "I already have the device"  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"A DGT."  
  
Saberpilot blinked. "A... what?"  
  
"A DGT- A Dimensional Gate Transporter- it'll allow us to travel between universes and get the bishonen we need!"  
  
Saber stood up and shook her head. "Shadow- what you're talking about is crazy- there's absolutely no way you could have made that thing. You can't even program a _VCR_!"  
  
"I made it a few months ago after that really big test, when my brain fried. Remember that week? Anyways, I've been using it to get up and down the stairs and to classes and stuff. Can we say 'lazy'?"  
  
"Shadow, turning them into chibis is one thing, but..."  
  
"Look, Saber." The brown-haired girl put her hands on the other's shoulders. "If we bring them here, and out of their own universes, it's a guarantee that no matter what happens, good anime bishonen will survive this Janie's reign of terror right?"  
  
"I see your point," Saberpilot conceded, then blushed. "And it would be kind of nice to have Vash here on hand..." Thoughts of an anime fangirl ran through the blonde's head.  
  
"Then let's get cracking!" Shadow-chan exclaimed, punching the air with her fist. "We've got some bishonen to save!"

* * *

"Shadow-chan... for the last time, are you absolutely certain that thing won't zap us into oblivion?" Saber asked her friend. "I do have to get back and do that term paper at some point, and it'd be kind of hard to turn it in if I don't exist! Besides," she added, "I don't trust the fact that it runs on pixie stick dust."  
  
"Hey, one, pixie dust is the fuel of gods. Two, I'm sure it'll work," the brown-haired girl grumbled. "You just make sure that chibi ray of yours doesn't melt the poor bishonen!"  
  
Saberpilot stamped her foot on the ground. "It WILL NOT do that, Shadow - you of all people should know how reliable my inventions are-"  
  
"Then don't question the reliability of mine," the young woman retorted. "Just because I can't even work a cell phone does not mean I'm going to kill us." Saberpilot grumbled, but gave into her friend's request, picking up the chibi ray that she'd finished constructing a few days earlier. A slight prankster grin came upon her lips, and she aimed the ray towards Shadow-chan.  
  
"You shoot that thing, and I'll make sure the DGT zaps you into oblivion," Shadow countered without even looking up.  
  
"You're no fun."  
  
Sighing, Saberpilot put down the ray, and picked up her laptop, engrossing herself into the net once again. She frowned.  
  
"This isn't good. Shadow-chan... it looks like Janie's already on the move- she's moved from only hacking AniChat to spreading her message to AnimeCorp and as well."  
  
"Well, too bad for her, because we're going to be the ones to stop her idiodic plot," Shadow-chan said, standing up and holding out a silver orb that was the size of a small softball. "With your ray and my DGT, we're going to take down that psycho Pokemon otaku."  
  
"So..." the blonde raised an eyebrow. "Where, exactly, are we going first?"  
  
"Hmm... good question," Shadow-chan answered, scratching her head. "I don't really know. I've never navigated into a seperate universe before."  
  
"So we're relying on chance to get us somewhere? As well as HOME?"  
  
"...pretty much."  
  
The blonde shrugged, then winked. "Well then, what are we waiting for- let's go!" She grabbed her chibi-ray and walked over to where her friend was already typing in random numbers. Seconds later, a large black hole seemed to surround them both. Moments afterword, there was no sign that they'd ever been there.

* * *

On the other side of the net....

* * *

"Question my reign? HA!" Janie Forka laughed with a manic expression on her face. "No one contests this threat- for I am the all-powerful Janie, winner of three years' Scholars' Invention Competitions, and Winner of the Pokemon Otaku Award!"  
  
The redhead's green eyes twinkled as she continued her work, absent mindedly petting a Squirtle plushie as she typed away. When one looked with wider vision, one could see that her entire dorm room was littered with Pokemon merchandise, from the fan on the ceiling to the carpet on the floor.  
  
Suddenly, something caught the college student's attention, and she looked upwards on the computer to see what exactly was chiming for her attention.  
  
"Someone tried to slice my hack. How quaint." She grinned, then typed up a few commands on her desktop, hoping to capture the identity of the person who'd fouled her work. However, when she tried, all she got back was a yellow smiley face and a message:  
  
"Leave Radical Edward alone. It's not her fault your hacking job was so poor that even a delinquent could find out your identity behind it, Janie Forka! ...Have a nice day!"  
  
"WHAT?" The collegiate freshman nearly choaked the Squirtle plush's head off. "Who the HELL thinks that they can slice my hacks like this and remain unpunished?!?!" The girl set to work on a background search-and-destroy java, nebbing a nearby stick of Pocky as she typed furiously.  
  
"Now let's see who's the better hacker, 'Edward', or whatever your real name is," the young woman sneered. However, when she tried to initiate her program, she found that her exploits were in vain.  
  
"You really shouldn't have pressed Edward so much. Now Edward will have to teach you a lesson herself, since her master isn't home!"  
  
"Wha... you mean to say that the computer is an AI? What kind of programmer put this shit together?" Janie blinked, then gulped as she watched her computer's main screen be enveloped by an overly large smiley face, this time with another message:  
  
"Your computer will be unusable for the next twenty four hours. Edward hopes that this will teach you a lesson!" Within seconds, a countdown timer appeared on the screen, and Janie's eyebrow twitched.  
  
"You- bitch! Bastard- whatever the hell you are!" A set of emerald eyes turned to slits as the young woman tried desperately to untrap her computer, trying in vain to restart or shut down her desktop. Finally, she gave up, slouching back in her computer chair.  
  
Janie snorted, then held up her Squirtle plush."Well... this just means that we'll have to up the plans by a few days, doesn't it?" She glanced back at the poster that showed an overly-beefed up Ash Ketchum and sighed.  
  
"Soon, my darling. Sooner than they think, the world of Anime shall be ours! HA!" With that, the young woman pulled out a dark orb from her jacket that was hanging on the chair she was sitting on. She smiled, then kissed the orb.  
  
"And you're going to help me, aren't you, my little Pokeball?"

* * *

"I don't know, Ryo-Ohki," a turquoise-haired young girl said to a brown haired creature beside her. "Tenchi said that these carrots weren't ready yet, and if you eat them before they're not ripe, they'll make you sick."  
  
"Ah, let her eat 'em. Maybe it'll teach her to listen to people for once," Another blue-haired female said, this one bearing yellow eyes. The little creature sneezed in response to this thought.  
  
"No, seriously. You eat way too many carrots, and you know what- you'll become a fat starship who can't fly anywhere faster than the speed of light!"  
  
The little creature flattened its ears against its head, and whimpered. The younger girl picked up the creature and looked at the older woman.  
  
"Don't say that- you'll scare her! Poor Ryo-Ohki is just hungry, aren't you?" the girl said, petting it softly. "And you're one to talk, Ryoko- you're always stealing food from the kitchen while I'm working!"  
  
The woman named Ryoko grinned. "Yes, but at least I make sure that I don't make myself fat, like certain spaceships I know," she winked, then teleported to the ground, down from the tree perch she'd been sitting on. She smiled slightly, then, and turned her head slightly to the right.  
  
"Do you hear something, Tsusami?"  
  
"Huh?" the blue-haired girl blinked, then turned the way the woman'd been looking, seeing another female headed their way. "Oh, it's Ayeka. Hi, Ayeka!" the girl waved, smiling. Ryoko seemed put-out.  
  
"Yes. Just call her over, why don't you?"  
  
"What?" the younger woman asked, blinking.  
  
"Nevermind, Tsusami. Just keep Ryo-Ohki out of trouble while I go cause some."  
  
The purple-haired woman known as Ayeka then came upon them, in earshot of Ryoko's last words. "Cause trouble? Ha! I believe that it is your true name, Ryoko, and not merely an action when in relation to you." She paused as the blue-haired woman grew agitated, then looked down at the young girl. "Tsusami, what are you doing out here? I thought you were going to start working on those sushi rolls-"  
  
The blue-haired girl smiled. "I was, but I thought playing out in the garden might be more fun for right now. Right, Ryo-Ohki?"  
  
"And why are you out here, Miss Smarty pants?" Ryoko asked Ayeka, peeved.  
  
"Oh? Me? I was looking for Lord Tenchi!" the woman laughed off behind a hand. Her eyes then turned to slits. "And what were you doing out here, you harlet?"  
  
"Me?" Ryoko grinned, cat-like. She pushed back a lock of her light blue hair. "Oh, I was just keeping Tsusami company until Tenchi came looking for me."  
  
"You ruffian! Whatever makes you think that Lord Tenchi would come looking for a... a... prostitute like you?"  
  
"A prostitute? Wow, Ayeka, I didn't know you were so... so..." the woman grinned, her canines shining, "knowing of your own trade."  
  
"Why you-"  
  
Suddenly, the two halted, mid-fight, when Tsusami pointed up towards the sky, the little brown Ryo-Ohki snuggling into her arms. "Hey- look!"  
  
"What the hell-?" Ryoko started, staring at a large black dot that seemed to be growing into a sort of hole. She blinked, then gritted her teeth, noticing that the hole was about to expel something. "Hit the deck!"  
  
"What?" Ayeka asked, oblivious.  
  
WUMPH! The two collegiates, Saberpilot and Shadow-chan, landed hard, both of their breaths taken away from the forced landing. When the dust settled they both sat up and blinked in confusion.  
  
"Doesn't that thing have brakes?" Saber moaned, rubbing her forehead.  
  
"I don't know why you're complaining," Shadow replied. "I landed on something soft."  
  
"Some people just have all the luck..."  
  
"Get. Off. Me!!"  
  
Shadow-chan looked around, confused. "Saber, did you hear something?" She looked around again, then caught sight of a little furball with long ears.  
  
"GYAH!" she shouted, jumping to her feet, dropping the DGT in the process. "Keep it away!" She waved her hands towards the little creature, trying hard to keep it from getting near her.  
  
"AWWW! It's so cute," Saberpilot cooed, getting a close up look at the brown fuzzball. She reached out with a hand and scratched the back of its ears. "Why on earth would you be afraid of this little thing?"  
  
"I'm allergic to rabbits," Shadow-chan responded with an irritable look. All of a sudden two people, both with bluish hair, stepped forward. One wore her hair in pigtails, while the other wore her's spikey.  
  
"I told you to watch out," the spikey haired woman said gleefully to something on the ground. Shadow looked down to see a purple haired woman lying on the ground twitching underneath her. She then looked at Shadow. "My thanks to you." Then her voice took on a serious tone, and she pointed at the young woman with brown hair. "Now, who are you?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
"What's going on here?" a new, high feminine voice demanded.  
  
Shadow and Saber turned to see a short pink haired woman step out of the house. There were a few precious seconds of silence, then:  
  
"WASHU! Oh my god, it's-it's really you!" Saber squeeled, running over to the woman and bowing before her. "I can't believe I'm standing in front of the universe's most brilliant scientist! Shadow-SHADOW, it's Washu!"  
  
"Yes... er... it's Washu," Shadow replied, flushing with embarrassment at the scene her friend was making. "Grand. I've saddled myself with an idiot..."  
  
"Ah, a fan!" Washu grinned. "No pictures, please. And who might you be?"  
  
"I'm Saberpilot. Perhaps you've heard of me?"  
  
"I've heard a little," Washu answered and Saber glowed with pride, slinging her chibi ray over her shoulder... where it accidently fired.  
  
"Oops," Saber mumbled, blushing.  
  
"Hey, at least we know it works," Shadow grinned, now staring down at a cute little three foot tall Ryoko.  
  
Washu walked over to look at Ryoko and pinched the chibi's cheeks, cooing, "Oh aren't you just adorable?!" Then she noticed the silver orb lying on the ground where Shadow had dropped it. "O-ho, what's this?" She picked it up and examined it, Saber joining her. "Very nice. Did you create this?" Washu asked the strawberry blonde.  
  
"Uh-uh. She did," Saber replied, pointing at Shadow.  
  
"A-ha," Washu nodded, grinning at Shadow. "So you were the one behind the disturbance. Do you have any idea how much touble you caused the Galactic Police?"  
  
"A great deal, I would hope," Shadow-chan remarked.  
  
"Turn me back! Turn me back now!" Ryoko was screaming... in a very squeaky and high-pitched voice. She smacked Shadow in the knee. "I said TURN ME BACK!"  
  
"I didn't do it- SHE did," Shadow growled, shoving the chibi-Ryoko away and pointing at Saber.  
  
"She couldn't have done it!" Ryoko snapped, sizing up Saber and deeming her "too innocent" to do such a thing. The girl reminded her too much of innocent Tsusami, who was helping Ayeka out of her hole in the ground. "It was you! Now turn me back, you wench!"  
  
"You watch your mouth, young lady!" Shadow warned, slipping into babysitting mode. "I'll wash your mouth out with soap otherwise!"  
  
"You... you... you..." Ryoko steamed. She grabbed Shadow by the arm and with all of her demon strength, tossed the girl into the nearby creek.  
  
"Waaahhhh! It's cold! IT'S COLD!" Shadow shouted as she splashed about, trying to get her footing. But she kept slipping and landing back in the water. Ryoko rolled on the ground, howling with laughter at the sight. Tsusami, after making sure Ayeka was alright, ran over and helped the now-drenched Shadow out of the creek.  
  
"Ryoko, how could you?" Tsusami demanded. "That was really mean! Now Miss..."  
  
"Sh-Shadow," came the mumbled answer, Shadow-chan's teeth chattering.  
  
"Now Miss Shadow is all soaked!"  
  
"That was the point," chibi-Ryoko squeaked. Ayeka, who had just heard the chibi space-pirate speak, burst into high pitched giggles. Needless to say, Ryoko was not happy with this response. "Oh just shut it, you!"

Ayeka just laughed harder.  
  
"Come on, let's get you inside and dried off," Tsusami said to Shadow. Washu and Saber were discussing the effects of the chibi ray, completely oblivious to Shadow's fall. Their only sign of life was their glancing at Ryoko every now and then. They, unlike Ryoko, were not at all put out by moving inside.  
  
Inside, Tsusami and Ayeka had taken Shadow's wet clothing and had given her a robe to wear until it was dry. Tsusami had also fixed up a cup of hot lemon tea, which Shadow had accepted gratefully. Washu and Saber had moved onto other topics and finally had arrived at the subject of Janie's evil plot to take over the world.  
  
"So she's going to brainwash the world by forcing everyone to watch Pokemon?" Washu inquired.  
  
"That's right," Saber confirmed.  
  
"Talk about devious," Washu mused. "So she intends to destroy all of the bishonen in the universe, and you plan to stop her by kidnapping them and turning them into chibis, like Ryoko here."  
  
"We figure she won't destroy anything that even resembles "cute" and "cuddly"," Shadow explained. "And speaking of Ryoko, as soon as I get my clothes back I'll show you why I'm the evil half of this pairing." She glared daggers at Ryoko, but... the space pirate didn't look concerned in the least.  
  
"Why do you have to wait until your clothes are done?" Ryoko taunted. "I'll take you on right now."  
  
Shadow looked down at her robe and flushed.  
  
"Ahh, so that's the way it is," Ryoko said slyly. "I see, I see. A bit of a prude... aren't you?" The blue-haired chibi winked.  
  
"Why you-" Shadow-chan stood up, ready to rip the chibi a new one.  
  
Ryoko, however, was quicker and had stolen the robe tie. "You can have this back when you change me back!" And with that, the chibi space pirate disappeared.  
  
"What the-What's-?" Saber turned from her conversation with Washu to notice a very red-faced Shadow-chan holding her robes closed for dear life. The strawberry blonde blinked and dropped her jaw slightly. "Uh- Shadow, what-?"  
  
"FIND THAT FREAKING-"  
  
Suddenly, a brown-haired teenager walked into the room, his one eye closed in a pained expression. "Hey, guys, what's with all the noise-" He then noticed the barely-clothed Shadow and his eyes grew large.  
  
"Um... explanation-?"  
  
A few seconds later, a small blue-haired chibi pulled at his leg, holding a familiar robe tie. "Well, Tenchi, what do you think? Is she prettier than me?"  
  
Ryoko didn't expect the trail of nose-blood and the large body that fell on her. It certainly made it hard for her to get up.  
  
"Lord Tenchi- Lord Tenchi, wake up! We're all so worried," a voice called out from the boy's darkness. He blinked awake, and noticed that a pair of dark ruby eyes were set upon him, surrounded by violet bangs.  
  
"Oh, thank goodness! I was beginning to think you'd never awaken, Lord Tenchi!"  
  
"And what would you have cared about it? He only fainted, for God's sake," a squeaky, unseen voice responded to Ayeka's voiced thoughts.  
  
"Shut up, you puny idiot!" Another unknown voice said. "Thank God for Washu's Quick-dryer. Otherwise he might have fainted again, you little-"  
  
"Shut up, you idiot- you're the reason I'm this SHORT!"  
  
"That was Saber, not me again, you scarlet harl-"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Ughhh... can you be quiet, please," the male said, blinking his eyes as he tried to focus on staying concious. He sat up and held his head with a free hand. "Wha-what's going on?"  
  
"About time you woke up," the familiar pink-haired Washu said, hand on hip. "We need to talk to you. We've just gotten some news from these two-" she pointed at the brown and blonde-haired Shadow-chan and Saberpilot, "that says you might need protection- and not just from some anti-Jurian Forces."  
  
"What? Who-?"  
  
"Shadow-chan and Saberpilot, at your service," the brown-haired person answered, holding out a hand, which Tenchi took in his own and shook rather haphazardy. "We came to this universe because we're trying to stop an evil genius who is trying to destroy anime as we know it."  
  
"A-anime?" Tenchi blinked.  
  
"Exnay on the nime-aay," Saberpilot nudged the newly-dried-and-dressed Shadow, smiling at Tenchi. She bowed, and giggled. Washu held up a hand to her face to cover up her own amusement.  
  
"Ah-hem. What my friend meant to say is that we're here to protect very handsome men from certain doom," Saber said, her voice now serious. "Someone- her name being Janie Forka, has decreed that she is going to destroy all handsome men within all different universes. Which puts you-" Saber points at Tenchi, "at risk."  
  
"Oh my! Is Lord Tenchi at risk?"  
  
"There is... a slight risk," Shadow-chan said, taking up Saber's reigns and looking at the strawberry blonde. She didn't want to anger the girls present.  
  
"What she means to say," Washu grinned, saving the girl from an argument that was already brewing in Ayeka and Ryoko's heads, "is that Tenchi is pretty safe in this dimension, thanks to everyone who's here. Plus, Tenchi can take care of himself pretty well. However," Washu's face became serious, "it's not the same in all dimensions. There are some handsome young men who are very much at risk."  
  
"How terrible!" Tsusami exclaimed, putting her hands to her cheeks.  
  
"Wait a second," A new voice said, coming from the hallway. "If Tenchi's not in grave danger, then why did you come here in the first place?"  
  
"Well, I-"  
  
"Kiyone! When did you get back?" Tsusami asked the Space Force woman. The older shook her head and placed it in her hands.  
  
"Just now. We had to deal with some disturbances in the dimensional continuum." It then dawned on the Space Force woman that Shadow and Saberpilot both were completely unfamiliar to her.  
  
"And- who are you two, for that matter?"  
  
"Saberpilot and Shadow-chan," the strawberry blonde said, exasperated by now with the situation.  
  
"Okay, so back to my question. If Tenchi's not in danger, then why did you come here in the first place?"  
  
"Would you believe that were weren't... that we didn't know exactly where we were going to end up?" Shadow-chan supplied, sweatdropping heavily. "We... um... were kind of hoping we'd end up in a dimension that needed some actual protection."  
  
"And Lord Tenchi doesn't?" Ayeka stood up and huffed at the brown-haired college student.  
  
"Well, I-"  
  
"Tenchi doesn't need any protection, remember? If I recall correctly, he protects YOU, Ayeka," Washu pointed out to the violet-haired female. "And these girls were at least kind enough to warn us about this threat before it came knocking on our door." Washu nodded towards the college students.  
  
"Besides, they sort of remind me of me when I was younger. Now the least I think we can do is help them in this little mission of theirs."  
  
"AFTER they put me back to full-size," Ryoko butted in. Shadow-chan gave the chibi space pirate a loathing glance.  
  
"IF we do is more like it. You're a pain in the-"  
  
"Enough you two!" Kiyone stepped in, seperating the college student and the space pirate. Which is when she noticed Ryoko's predicament. Trying to hide her laughter she asked, "Ryoko... what happened to you?"  
  
"That...that wench did this to me!"  
  
"You know, Ryoko," Shadow called over Kiyone's shoulder, "I think we're gonna leave you this way, just to teach you some manners!"  
  
"You wouldn't!" Ryoko threatened.  
  
"Here girls, I already set your coordinates," Washu smiled, handing Shadow the DGT. "Come back and visit, okay? Bye."  
  
"Bye," they both replied, grinning as the DGT's black portal swallowed them up then faded away into nothing.  
  
All of the others stood there and stared in shock. Kiyone was the first one to groan. "Oh man, not another ton of paper work..."

* * *

"You are so lazy! How can you just lie around when everyone on this godforsaken planet is after yor 60 billion double-dollar reward?!"  
  
The angry shouts echoed across the desert plain, ignored by the people being shouted at. Two men sat on a blanket, munching on some sweets, while a third person, a tall brown haired woman, was rumaging through some packs. The person who was shouting, a shorter black haired woman, glared daggers at one of the men, a very tall blonde with emerald green eyes wearing a long red coat. She was just about to start a shouting match when she noticed that the blonde was looking over her head, at the sky, with a confused expression on his face.  
  
"Vash, what is it?" the black haired woman asked, irritated that he was paying absolutely no attention to her.  
  
"I don't-"  
  
"WAHHHHHHH!" Two people were dropped out of a large black hole, landing where the group was sitting.  
  
"Meryl, where- are you all right?" Vash asked, waiting for the dust to settle. He blinked, searching for the dark-haired woman.  
  
"Hey, Shadow- you all right? Guess what? I landed on something soft this time! How about you?"  
  
Shadow coughed as the dust and sand around her settled, groaning as she pried herself off of something that was not at all soft. "I think I hit something made of metal," she complained, rubbing her back in pain.  
  
"My punisher!" The black-haired man present nearly ripped the girl off of the metal object, trying to inspect his beloved possession.  
  
"Um... hello," the brown haired woman greeted merrily to the newly-arrived college students, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they had just fallen out of the sky. "I'm Millie, and this is Mr. Wolfwood." She gestured to a man leaning over a large now dented cross, grumbling to himself. "And that's Mr. Vash and, um... where's Meryl?"  
  
"Get- off- of- ME!"  
  
Saber went flying through the air thanks to the black-haired woman, knocking Vash over in the process. Meryl, uncaring of the blonde's 'demise', stood up, brushing herself off. "Honestly, if it's not one thing, it's another! Who are you and what do you think you're doing?!?"  
  
"Hey Saber, this one acts like my twin," Shadow grinned, pointing at the black-haired woman. "Saber? Uh... help here?" She looked around for her friend and found her, the blonde still lying where she'd been tossed... on top of Vash. "Oh boy..."  
  
The two were looking at each other, both of them starting to blush. Saber's vocal chords seemed to be stuck, as she continued the action, not seeming to notice the world around her.  
  
"Hey you- you with the brown hair- I asked you a question!"  
  
"Huh?" Shadow-chan blinked, then realized that the woman named Meryl was talking to her. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry about that- I'm Shadow-chan and that thing lying on the red coat is Saber. Saber, get up!"  
  
The blonde ignored her, still staring at Vash. The brown-haired collegiate sighed, then yelled louder. "HEY, STUPID GENIUS!"  
  
"Huh? What?" Saber squeaked shyly. "Oh, um... yeah." She rolled over and climbed to her feet, not looking Vash directly in the eye as she did so.  
  
"All right, so you're Shadow-chan," Meryl pointed at the brown-haired teen, "and Saber," Meryl reiterated, now pointing at the blonde. "What the HELL are you doing here? And why did you have to fall on top of me like that?!?" She complained to Saberpilot, who looked very scared at this point of the raven-haired woman.  
  
"We're here," Shadow began, then paused. "On second thought, I don't think I'll tell you. You remind me too much of my twin. Saber, do your thing."  
  
"Yes Ma'am," Saber grinned, pulling out her chibi ray and aiming it squarely at the red-jacketed man.  
  
"W-what are you going to do with that?" Vash inquired slowly.  
  
"This, Vash-kun." She fired the ray gun, and grinned. When the dust cleared, everyone saw a chibi Vash the Stampede, cutely blinking at this sequence of events. Everyone except for Saberpilot looked stunned. Even Wolfwood looked agahst.  
  
Shadow-chan grinned and pointed at the black-garbed priest. "Now you, Wolfie-chan!"  
  
"I don't think-" The priest started, but his arguments went unheard.  
  
Saberpilot fired and a shrunken Wolfwood was suddenly revealed after a few seconds. Both Shadow and Saber quickly scooped up the chibi bishis before the two could run away. Thinking quickly, Shadow-chan pressed the coordinates set by Washu as their home into her DGT. A black hole suddenly appeared in the sky.  
  
"We'll explain some other time," Shadow promised, winking at the jaw-dropped Meryl and Millie. "Toodles." And with that they vanished, leaving Millie and Meryl staring at each other in shock.  
  
"Where did they...?"  
  
"I don't know, Millie- I don't know."  
  
Shadow and Saber, along with chibi Vash and Wolfwood, were deposited unceremoniously into Shadow's dorm room, where they had originally started. Saber landed on a heap of blankets, while Shadow unfortunately landed on the chibis, who protested via waving arms and legs. They continued to twitch after she rolled over and climbed to her knees.  
  
"Who has all the luck?" Shadow asked sarcastically. "First that metal thing, then two little chibis and a hard floor. I think I broke something..."  
  
"Whine, whine, sulk," Saber grinned. "We have our first set of chibi bishis! And it's... it's VASH!" She squealed and picked the chibi Stampede up from the floor into a big hug, which the blonde didn't seem to mind at all.  
  
"Don't even think about it," Wolfwood warned Shadow, pointing at the girl as he made his way into a standing position. "I am not going to be pulled into a hu-" Shadow-chan grabbed him, placed him in a headlock and gave him a big noogie.  
  
"AHHH! No- STOP! I demand that you stop! This is not how you treat a priest! Let go!" Grinning, Shadow let go of the chibi priest and he quickly scuttled under the bed.  
  
"Aww, now I'll never find him," Shadow sighed, grinning. "But, oh, is this going to be amusing."  
  
"Indeed," Saber agreed, happily huggling her chibi gunner gently. The blonde smiled, then tweaked Vash's nose gently. "Two down, and a thousand more to go."  
  
"A thousand?" Vash asked, blinking obliviously. He still hadn't figured out exactly why, how, or where he was, and he stared at Saber with large blue eyes.  
  
"That's right, Vash, a thousand more."  
  
"...Oh, God," Wolfwood was heard to mutter underneath the bed, understanding if Vash didn't. "What have we gotten ourselves into?"

* * *

(more to come... we promise. If Astroboy doesn't kidnap us first) 


	2. Hellsing Singalong

A/N: *Huggles readers* CHIBIS FOR EVERYONE! I'm glad that this time around we've had a better response than last time- the Chibi Files are now not only in bite-size pieces, but they're easier to digest, too, thanks to PLOT ADDITIVES! ^.^  
  
In any case, read, review, enjoy.... :D   
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Sleep was the main agenda for the two college students that laid in the very messy dorm room. Saberpilot was curled up on a nearby blanket, making small murmur-like noises in her sleep. The other collgiate student, known as Shadow-chan, laid sprawled upon her bed, the only noises arising from her being minor "hmphs" every now and then.  
  
Nicholas D. Wolfwood, also known as 'Wolfie-chan' to the two students, sat watching both the teenagers dream. He sighed, then reached for one of his infamous cigarettes, then swore quietly when he realized they'd been switched for candy ones.   
  
Grumbling, he picked one out anyways and started to neb on it, finally realizing that Vash was nowhere nearby. Looking around, he saw a familiar red jacket, albeit chibified, laying next to the girl who called herself 'Saber'.   
  
"Eh... never learn, do you, Needle Noggin?"  
  
The blonde girl, Saber, didn't seem to mind his presence, however, snuggling beside him. He heard her mumble, and Wolfwood blinked. He couldn't have heard what he'd thought he had... could he?  
  
"Vash-kun..."  
  
The man in black scratched his head. Why would this girl... how the hell did they know them, anyways? As soon as they woke up, these Shadow and Saber were going to answer some questions.   
  
Or else.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Where was I...?" Vash yawned as he stretched, awakening thanks to the light sunlight that was drifting into the room. "Wait a second..." He blinked, and rubbed his eyes, then looked around him. A blonde girl laid on the floor next to him, her breathing slightly shallow in nature.  
  
For some reason, whenever he looked at her, he felt some sort of pull on his heart- as if something was trying to tell him that for all her tough exterior, she needed to be protected.   
  
Vash shook his head, then looked at his hands. It... It'd been real. All of it. The girl, the other one- He looked towards a bed-like contraption, and saw brown hair strewn everywhere, then back towards his palms.   
  
They were indeed, rather small. Seconds later, he felt something poking him on the shoulder. Vash turned to see Wolfwood... or rather, a very small version of Wolfwood, poking him on the shoulder.  
  
"Wha-"  
  
"Shh!" The priest said, putting a finger to his lips. The chibi man motioned to the Stampede to follow him, and the red-jacketed chibi did so, following him to a corner of the room where Wolfwood's punisher... or rather, chibi punisher, leaned against a chest of drawers.  
  
"Well. We've got ourselves in a right mess, don't we?"  
  
"How the hell should I know?" Vash asked, blinking. "I just- I just woke up and realized that this all actually happened!"  
  
"Well, hello, Mr. Sunshine. Glad you could join us!" The chibi priest slapped the blonde in the back of the head. "Now what are we going to do about it?"  
  
"Do about it?" Vash blinked, oblivious. He then scratched his chin and looked at Wolfwood. "I wasn't aware that there was anything we COULD do about this, Wolfwood. They obviously know who we are, and somehow were able to transport us... here... after turning us into... children?"  
  
"I don't think we're children, Vash," Wolfwood pointed out, motioning to his candy cigarettes. "I heard one of them mention something about 'chibis' earlier. I'm assuming it's a smaller version of ourselves. But why the hell would they want to do this in the first place?"  
  
Vash placed a chibified gloved hand to his chin. "I have no idea. But I do know one thing-" he said, turning to look back at the college student named Saber, "that one's pretty cute."  
  
"Argh- Vash, stop thinking about a pretty face, and start thinking about our less-than-pretty future! I don't know about you, but I don't like being under a meter in height!"  
  
"I'm sure they have a good reason for all this, Wolfwood. We just have to listen to it."  
  
"You and your pacifistic ways..."  
  
"They work, don't they?" Vash asked, standing up and heading back towards the blanket upon which Saber still laid asleep. He kneeled next to her and brushed a strand of strawberry blonde away from her face. "And besides, Wolfwood- they didn't really hurt us. Just hugged us, made us small... and kidnapped us. I'm sure they have a good reason, we just have to ask."  
  
"Vash... pacifism will only work so good for so long," Wolfwood said, but was ignored by the blonde chibi.   
  
"I'll say," Another voice agreed, and Wolfwood blinked, realizing that he was looking up into a set of hazel eyes. Shadow-chan, it seemed, had woken up during the last leg of their conversation. She smiled, and winked at the priest.  
  
"But as for Vash's comment, I'd be more than happy to explain," she continued, stretching and cracking her neck. She then kneeled beside Vash and looked at the chibi who continued to stare at Saberpilot.   
  
"You know... she's just as smitten with you."  
  
"Whaa-?" Vash asked, his face turning beet red. He then punched himself in the face and laughed it off. "I have no idea what you're talking about! I was just making sure that this young lady Saber was safe while she was sleeping!"   
  
"Liar," both Shadow and Wolfwood said unanimously.  
  
"I am not lying!" Vash yelled at the top of his chibi lungs, balling his hands into tiny fists. Moments later, he and the others cringed as they realized his outburst had awoken a certain strawberry blonde computer nerd.  
  
The college student yawned and brushed away sleepies from her eyes and stretched her arms, oblivious to the three pairs of eyes staring at her as she woke up slowly. Blinking, she finally noticed and grinned.  
  
"Well, good morning!"  
  
"Took you long enough," Shadow-chan complained, rolling her eyes. "Haven't you heard of something called promptness?"  
  
The blonde blinked. "Eh?"  
  
"Never mind," Shadow sighed, exasperated. "Anyways... where to today?"  
  
"How should I know, you're the one who programs the thing, not me," Saber replied, stretching her arms again.  
  
"Wait," Wolfwood interrupted, pointing at Shadow. "You. I want some answers and I want them now."  
  
"You're starting to sound like that black haired lady that was shouting yesterday," Shadow-chan grumbled, rolling her eyes.  
  
"You mean Meryl?" Vash inquired.   
  
"Yeah, she's a bitch."  
  
"I wouldn't go that far," Vash stated, sounding a bit sulkish. "She's actually very nice."  
  
"Prove it."  
  
"Shadow, be nice!" Saber insisted, sitting up and looking into her friend's hazel eyes.  
  
"Anyways, I want answers and I want them now!" Wolfwood growled. "Why are we this short? And why are we here? What do you want with us?"  
  
"You're short because an evil genius is trying to take over the world by destorying you and others like you and set in place vile little cute and cuddly creatures to rule all dimensions," Shadow began. "However, since you're chibified and therefore deemed 'cute' by everyone in our society... well, mostly everyone - she won't be able to harm you without making everyone angry with her. And you're here because- well, let's face it, no one is going to find you amidst all of this." She gestured to the mess that made up her college dorm room and grinned. "See my point?"  
  
"Uh... I think so," Vash replied, scratching his blonde head. Wolfwood was just staring at the girl like she was an alien.  
  
"Just go with the flow," Shadow ordered.  
  
"Okay... so how about breakfast?" Vash suggested.  
  
"Ewwwwww..."  
  
"Shadow, you really should eat breakfast you know," Saber admonished. "It's not healthy to skip it."  
  
"Doughnuts aren't healthy either, you know," Shadow retorted.  
  
"Doughnuts?!" Vash exclaimed. "Where?"  
  
"Dear God save me," both Shadow and Wolfwood muttered at the same time. Saber, like Vash, also looked around for the doughnuts, and Shadow-chan looked at Wolfwood, the chibi's thoughts as clear as her own.  
  
"God..."  
  
"What? No doughnuts?" Saber asked, tilting her head to the side, her eyes becoming large and tearful. Vash copied her, staring at Shadow-chan. Shadow-chan closed her eyes and counted to ten, then very patiently spoke to her friend.  
  
"No doughnuts. No doughnuts for either of you until after we complete another mission."  
  
"Whaaa?" Saber and Vash blinked.  
  
"I'm surrounded by stupid geniuses."  
  
"You and me both," Wolfwood spoke, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Well... if we have to wait for doughnuts, would you at least be so kind as to tell us where we're going?" Saberpilot whined, sitting back on her haunches. Shadow-chan shrugged.   
  
"We'll know when we get there."  
  
"And what are we going to do about Vash and Wolfwood? We can't just leave them here-" Saber pointed out literally with an index finger. Something occured to her, then, and she bit her lip. "Especially not since your twin is a Pokemon fan. She might side with Janie, and then where would that leave these two?"  
  
"We'll take them with us," Shadow decided, smiling. She stood up and punched her palm with her fist. "But first... Saber, you stink. Go take a bath."  
  
"I STINK!?! Look who's talking, Miss No-Shower-for-twelve-hours!"  
  
"Are they always like this?" Vash wondered aloud.  
  
"Dear God, I hope not," Wolfwood answered, watching as the two college students continued to deck it out over who was 'smellier'.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"Okay," the redhaired collegiate named Janie Forka said, examining her current possessions and making sure she had everything she needed. "Shadow transporter, pokeballs, anti-bishonen ray..." She nodded to herself and grinned, a slightly insane grin at that.   
  
She pulled herself closer to her computer and started typing frantically, the timer still not completely down to zero, thanks to the 'Radical Edward' person that had returned the favor of hacking the computer.  
  
"Shit. Not enough time... if I leave now, I'll have to wait until I get back to try and hack that person's computer." She made a plantive whine in response to this thought, sighing loudly. Janie pushed herself back and forth thanks to her hands on the computer desk.   
  
"What are you whining about?" A new voice asked, an unfamiliar head poking itself into Janie's realm of insanity.   
  
"Uh... I was just about to go out, Ashley," the redhead panicked, hiding her previously evil expression behind a lying smile. "I was just... um... working on-"  
  
The girl entered, her nondescript brown hair falling into outlining bangs as she inspected Janie's computer screen. "Um... why does your computer say something about messing with a 'Radical Edward'?"  
  
"It's... um... it's a program that uh..."  
  
"You weren't trying to hack someone's computer again, were you?" The woman asked, raising a brown eyebrow. Janie grinned quickly, and shook her head.   
  
"No- this is- this is a cleaning program- they call it 'Radical Edward' because it's such a new concept that they use to have it clean corrupted files on your computer," Janie answered, sweating in nervousness.   
  
"Really?" the brown-haired Ashley asked.  
  
"Really."  
  
"Okay then... I'm going to go out now- lock the dorm room door before you go, okay?" The girl asked, then picked up a jacket laying on a nearby bed. With that, the girl headed out, walking outside the door and out into the hallway.  
  
Janie steamed for a few minutes, furious with the girl for entering. She let out a withheld breath of air, then swore under her breath.  
  
Whenever it came time for her to take over the world, annoying roommates would be the first to go. Shaking her head free of the annoyance she felt, she stood up and held the familiar black pokeball she'd been holding in front of her, smiling at its familiarity.   
  
"And when I do get back, not only will annoying roommates die, but little imps named 'Radical Edward' will as well," she smiled. Grinning with the same evil smile she'd been wearing earlier, she pressed the large black button on her pokeball.   
  
A dark spot that writhed with electric sparks appeared on the floor. Still grinning, Janie walked to it, blowing a goodbye kiss to her beloved Ash poster before she entered.   
  
"Soon, my dearheart. Soon."  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"Finally! Are we going or are we not?" Wolfwood asked, crossing his chibi arms. "If I want to be kidnapped and taken somewhere, I want to be on time," the priest complained.  
  
"Hold your horses, Wolfie-chan," Shadow-chan complained, fixing her hair by pulling it into a small bun, then turned to face the chibis and her blonde friend.   
  
"Why is it that someone with shorter hair than me takes more time to take care of it?" Saberpilot complained.  
  
"Easy. THICK."  
  
"..."  
  
"Well, do you have your ray ready?"   
  
The blonde pulled the 'weapon' out of her pants pocket and showed the item pointedly to the brown-haired collegiate, who gave a light smirk. Shadow then turned and pointed to the two chibis.   
  
"You two. Behave, understand me?" she spat towards Wolfwood and Vash, the priest giving her a blank expression as answer. Vash blinked, not quite understanding, but giving a thumbs up as his answer.  
  
"Saber?"  
  
"What? I behave- I was the one who originally came up with this idea, O Goddess of Evil," Saber pointed out, her expression slightly crestfallen. "Remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah..." Shadow-chan answered after a moment of silence, giving the blonde a smile also as answer. "And what a great idea it was. Now shall we be off?"  
  
"Stupid underappreciated baka squalling..." Saber muttered under her breath, slightly put out by the not-noticing actions of her friend. She stood by and watched as Shadow pressed the button that would enable them to enter another dimension. Something suddenly occured to the strawberry blonde, and she raised a finger to Shadow.  
  
"Um... where are we going again?" she asked as the black hole started to envelope them. Shadow grinned.  
  
"Y'all know I have no freaking clue!"  
  
"WHAT?!?" Saber screamed as she, the chibis, and Shadow were all sucked in, leaving no trace behind of their ever being in the brown-haired college student's dorm room.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
"Sir?" A well-dressed man in butler's attire questioned a blonde person sitting in front of a desk. The person looked over a pile of papers, deep in thought.  
  
"Yes?" Blue eyes behind a set of glasses looked up.  
  
"I was wondering if you would care to review the troop status today?" the butler asked, raising an eyebrow over his single monocle.   
  
"Hmm?" The person now paid undevided attention to the butler, sitting back and reviewing his request. After a moment of contemplation, a gloved hand laid itself out on its desk, then tapped one finger.   
  
"I suppose I shall later today. However, for right now, Walter, I need some more information about the latest FREAK case we've recieved."  
  
"Certainly, Sir Hellsing." With that, the butler turned coat towards his employer and walked towards the door, off to do his master's bidding.  
  
Sir Integra Hellsing leaned forward and picked up a cigar from the front of her desk, then tilted her chair back slightly, lighting it. She took a small puff, then gave a slight grin.  
  
"You don't need to hide in the shadows- I can see you perfectly well, you know," she snorted before taking another puff on her cigar.  
  
A man dressed in a red coat and dapper hat walked from the darkness, a pair of red sunglasses hiding his thoughts from the blonde woman.   
  
"Ah, but I am a creature of the shadows. The darkness is the realm under my control, just as I am under yours," he said, his last words rather acidic in nature. He disappeared for a moment, then reappeared next to the Knight's desk.   
  
"You do realize these things will make you meet your maker sooner," he spoke once more, picking up one of his Master's cancer sticks and twirling it between his gloved thumb and index finger. Sir Hellsing gave him a raised eyebrow in response.   
  
"Alucard," she pointed out, "if I'm going to reach an earlier grave, it will be because of certain nosferatu who turns anyone into a blood relative."  
  
"Ah, you mean the police girl. Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Master?" The red-hatted man asked, a snarling grin on his face. He placed the cigar back down, then appeared next to the blonde woman, kneeling slightly so that he was just above the main artery in her neck."  
  
"Alucard..." she warned, as he drew closer.  
  
The vampire leaned closer, then stopped mid-way, his nostrils flaring as he smelled something in the air. He disappeared from his stance next to Sir Integra and reappeared in front of her desk.   
  
"What is it?" she asked. A slight wind seemed to blow inside the room.   
  
"Something is coming," he grinned, his canines overly pronounced. Seconds later, a dark black hole loomed from the ceiling, depositing a group of two women and two chibis respectively onto the floor.   
  
Needless to say, one of the chibis did not appear happy with his situation, having been caught underneath one of the two young women.  
  
"Ughh... Shadow, you definately have to work on landings," one of them, a blonde, pointed out. She groaned some more, then giggled when she realized one of the small chibis had landed directly in her lap.   
  
"Well, at least Vash landed on something soft."  
  
"And I didn't? Thanks, Wolfie-chan," the other young woman perked sweetly, standing up and waving at a slightly crushed black suited chibi. The chibi seemed too preoccupied with trying to survive that he didn't answer.  
  
Neither of the young women seemed to notice the rather quizzled woman who stood up at her desk in front of them. Seconds later, however, was a different situation.  
  
"Who the HELL are these people, Alucard?" she demanded of the red-jacketed man in front of her.   
  
"Huh?" Saber blinked, hearing someone yell. She turned to face a red-clothed demon, and winced slightly. "Um... Shadow..." She pointed at the vampire with a trembling finger, knowing of his full capacity for danger and... death.  
  
"Hmm?" The brown-haired collegiate noticed the blonde's shaking finger, and traced it to its target. However, unlike Saberpilot, she had a completely different reaction, jumping into the air and hugging the man's side.  
  
"What the-?" Wolfwood the chibi questioned, finally concious enough to question the situation.  
  
"Alucard, I want an explanation. NOW."  
  
The vampire seemed at a loss for words, for once, staring down at the tightly-clamped Shadow-chan. "Master, I have no knowledge of this..."  
  
"ALU-SAN!" The young woman exclaimed, hugging the man all the tighter. "I picked a GOOD dimension this time, Saber!"  
  
Saberpilot's eyebrow twitched, and she picked up the chibi Vash in front of her. "And the last dimension wasn't?" She hugged the chibi gunner tightly, and he looked up and gave her a grin.   
  
"Well, there was that black-haired bitch in that dimension- what was her name...?" Shadow-chan became pensive, not caring that Alucard by now was looking for ways to pry the girl off of himself. "...Millie? No, that's not right... Merl? Meryl?"  
  
"The last one's it, but I think you have bigger problems right now," Chibi Wolfwood pointed out, literally singling out Sir Hellsing with his left index, who was fuming at the bit by this point.   
  
"Who the HELL are you?"  
  
Shadow-chan gave a bit "Ooohh..." of understanding, seeing the blonde woman stand up behind her desk and rip a cigar from her mouth. "I know you- Saber, it's the blonde bitch- uh... it's Sir Integra!"  
  
The blonde collegiate didn't seem to care by this point, having been pushed into mental submission by Hellsing's strong persona. So strong was it that the girl was now sitting on the ground behind chibi Vash. The little gunner was trying in vain to protect Saber from the onslaught of Integra's gaze.  
  
"Saber?" Shadow blinked in query.  
  
"..."  
  
"Saber? Are you here?"  
  
The blonde cowered behind Vash even more, trying to make herself invisible to Sir Hellsing's gaze. Vash puffed up his small chest as much as he could, trying to hide the blonde.  
  
"...who. the. hell. are. YOU?!?" Integra spat one last time, the effect of her voice so strong that it loosened Shadow-chan's grip on her beloved Alucard. The brown-haired student crossed her arms and stared at the blonde woman.  
  
"Now that wasn't very nice. Then again," Shadow-chan pointed out to herself, "you ARE a Royal bitch..."  
  
"Sir, did you call for-" a familiar butler started as he entered Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing's private office, only to stop and stare at the scene directly before him, it being an infuriated Knight who was yelling at a girl standing next to Alucard. The butler grew confused for a second, then shook his head.  
  
"Sir, can you explain what is-"  
  
"That's what I want to know!" the blonde Knight said angrily, stamping her foot on the ground. Shadow-chan, amused by this 'temper tantrum', started to giggle madly at the blonde-haired woman, Saber blinking as she did.  
  
"Um... Shadow? I don't think you should really piss her off-"  
  
Alucard looked the brown-haired Shadow-chan in the eye, who stared back at the vampire with a hint of mischief in her hazel eyes. "Unless you are in the market for eternal life, I would suggest that you explain yourself," Alucard said cooly.  
  
"Unless you're in the market for a magical rosary I suggest you just hush up," Shadow replied just as cooly.  
  
"Magical rosary?" Saber inquired from behind Vash.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"I demand an explanation. Now." Sir Integral looked as if she was contemplating just shooting the intruders. Her hand was already heading toward her left drawer, a place that held her handheld pistol. Shadow guessed what she was after and sighed.  
  
"We just sort of dropped in on intentional accident."  
  
"Intentional accident?" Integral repeated.  
  
"Yeah, intentional accident," Shadow confirmed. "We meant to go somewhere... we just didn't know where we were going to end up. We ended up here, which is where we wanted to be... but didn't know we were going to be. Am I getting through to you?" The look in Shadow's eyes told everyone that she could have explained it in a less confusing manner, but she was just enjoying herself far too much.  
  
"You are a FREAK... you must be," Integral snarled, starting to reach over towards her desk drawer.  
  
"Yeah, probably, but not in the manner that you think," Shadow-chan grinned, running a hand through her brown hair. She glanced back at Saber, seeing if the blonde had noticed the Knight's reaching fingers. "But since we're here, we might as well get what we came for."  
  
"I beg your pardon?" Integral snapped.  
  
Wolfwood raised an eyebrow, then smirked at the blonde Knight.  
  
"We're here for him," Shadow explained, as if she were dealing with a stubborn five year old child, nodding towards the red-jacketed vampire. She grinned at Alucard. "You'll certainly make an interesting chibi. Saber, fire away." The brown-haired college student looked around for her blonde counterpart. "...Saber? SABER!"  
  
Saber had still been cowering under Integral's icy glare, but at Shadow's very loud scream she jumped, then drew her chibi ray. She aimed it squarely at the red-hatted vampire.   
  
"Sorry Alu-sama, Shadow's orders." She winked, then fired the chibi ray at Alucard, who dodged the beam. Instead, the shot hit a woman with light red-blonde hair who had just opened the door. The ray shrank her into a child-like form, her red eyes overly large.   
  
Disappointed from missing the first time, but far from giving up, Saber fired again, while everyone was staring at the effect of her weapon. This time she did hit Alucard. The vampire blinked in confusion behind his chibi red shades.  
  
Shadow-chan scooped the red-clad vampire off the ground, then gave him a tight squeeze. "Yay! Okay, Saber, I guess we can go now."  
  
Saber bit her lip, then stopped when she felt a tug from her pant leg. She looked up to see Vash pointing at something behind her. She turned and nearly dropped her jaw in shock.   
  
"Stop. Right. There." Integral now had a gun in her hand, and it was pointed at the two college students. "What did you do to my servant? I demand that you UN-DO it!"  
  
"Why is it that every time we enter a universe we're greeted by someone who acts EXACTLY like my twin?" Shadow wondered aloud.  
  
"S-shadow, she has a gun," Saber stammered, pointing at the weapon. Wolfwood threw the girl a glance, as if wondering at her ability to notice the obvious.  
  
Sir Hellsing stood waiting for an answer, her fingers never moving from the trigger of her gun.  
  
Shadow didn't reply, as she was working on holding a struggling chibi vampire and setting the DGT at the same time. "Well, you know, I'd love to give you an explanation as to how that thing works, but... I can't even program a VCR let alone make something like that. We have to go, so... er... chow."  
  
The brown-haired collegiate pulled Saber towards her, who dragged Wolfwood and Vash along with her. The blonde shook her head, confused for a moment, then smiled when she saw Shadow-chan's hand on the DGT. Winking, she gave a victory sign and gave Vash a quick hug around the shoulders. Meanwhile, the DGT sprung to life.  
  
A familiar black hole swallowed the two girls and their chibis, then vanished leaving a very stunned Sir Hellsing, Walter, and a chibi female vampire behind.  
  
"Uh... Sir?"  
  
The blonde Knight placed down her automatic on her desk, and curled her hands into fists. She closed her blue eyes behind her glasses, and gritted her teeth.  
  
"Walter. Find out who the HELL those people were."  
  
"Yes, sir," the butler answered automatically, leaving behind the Knight and the chibi female.   
  
"And you-" the knight spoke directly to the chibi female, "Ceres Victoria, could not have had worse timing. Now Hellsing has to rely on a fledgling vampire who is not only incompetant, but under three feet tall."  
  
"I'm sorry..." chibi Ceres responded, looking downward and leaving the room. Chibi or full size, she still got yelled at...  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
"OUCH! Ughh... Shadow, will you EVER clean this room?" Saber demanded, prying herself off of a pile of shoes. The blonde winced as she pulled one from underneath the small in her back. "Or can you at least lay a bunch of pillows on the floor before we leave for some other dimension?"  
  
"Oh whine, whine, whine," Shadow replied, rolling off of a pile of school books, still holding chibi Alucard. "You - OWWWWWW! IT BIT ME!"   
  
Alucard had sunk his teeth into Shadow's hand, and she began to shake her arm wildly, trying to dislodge him. "LET. GO. Of. ME!" She swung her arm and sent Alucard flying into the wall.   
  
"Little parasite."  
  
"He's the little parasite YOU wanted, remember?" Saberpilot pointed out, still recooperating. Chibi Wolfwood and Vash merely brushed themselves off, having landed on top of Saberpilot.   
  
"At least I landed on something soft," the chibi priest pointed out, grinning. Shadow-chan gave Wolfwood a scathing look, then stood up to retrieve her wayward vampire.  
  
"Come here, you adorable-"  
  
"There is nothing adorable about myself," the chibi vampire said, his arms crossed. Shadow-chan giggled and cautiously approached the chibi nosferatu.   
  
"Five bucks says he'll bite her again," Wolfwood mentioned off-hand to Saber. The blonde giggled, and winked.   
  
"That's too certain a bet for me. Hey- why aren't you running away like you did last time?"  
  
"Anyways," Vash agreed, his head quizzically tilted to the side. Wolfwood gave the blonde gunner a non-responsive glance in response.  
  
"Because," Wolfwood pointed out, holding his chibi hand towards Shadow-chan and Alucard, "She's moved her attentions elsewhere... and since she's done that, I don't have to worry about her tormenting me."  
  
A shadow suddenly loomed behind Wolfwood. Vash pointed indirectly towards it, but the priest didn't seem to get the idea.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't have to worry about me tormenting you, eh?"  
  
Wolfwood froze at the sound of Shadow-chan's voice, gritting his teeth in a panicked expression. He turned around slowly to face a smiling Shadow, who held in her arms a very-much subdued Alucard.  
  
"Wha- what did you do to him?" The chibi preacher asked, nervous.  
  
The chibi vampire wasn't trying to escape at all- in point of fact, it seemed as though he was moving closer to Shadow-chan. The college student winked, then held out her wrists to reveal a set of bracelets.  
  
"Blessed silver jewelry."  
  
"Where did you get that?" Saber asked.  
  
"Does it matter?" Shadow retorted.  
  
"I suppose not. So, if you can keep him under control," Saber mused, putting a finger to her mouth, "then Wolfwood would be no problem?"  
  
"No, he wouldn't," Shadow-chan agreed, smiling. "In point of fact, I'd be more than happy to-"  
  
The college girl didn't finish her sentence, however, seeing a pair of black shoes scampering underneath the bed. Saber gave Shadow a withering look.  
  
"Why did you have to do that?"  
  
"YES. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?" Wolfwood complained from his hiding spot. "Why did you have to bring me here in the first place?!?"  
  
"Because we love you too much to let you be destroyed by that Janie girl?" Saber pondered.  
  
"Exactly, Wolfie-chan," Shadow pointed out, then winked, looking down at her chibified vampire. Alucard was looking back at Shadow's silver bracelets and struggling to remain outside of their presence. Vash and Saber looked at each other and shrugged, both their cheeks noticeably pink as they did so.  
  
"Hmm..." Shadow-chan said aloud, watching the two of them.  
  
"Huh?" Saber blinked, looking at the teen.  
  
"Nothing you need to worry your blonde head about," Shadow-chan said, then grinned, thinking of something.  
  
"So... who's up for a game of chase the vampire?" she asked, prying Alucard off her shoulder and holding him up in the air. The vampire was less than pleased at this thought.  
  
"You... you FREAKS!"  
  
"We love you too, Alu-san," Shadow said, pulling the chibi into a big hug... against his will.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
"Um... where the hell am I?" Janie Forka asked, scratching her chin and looking around her. Tall, mohagany wood outlined every single detail of the hallway, and the Pokemon otaku scratched her head in confusion.  
  
"That's odd... there's no way that this could be the Pokemon dimension..."  
  
"Sir- another one!"  
  
"What?" Janie asked, blinking. A man with a monocle stood down the hallway from her, pointing. Seconds later, a small redheaded chibi ran towards her, its red eyes slanted in anger.  
  
"Uhh..."  
  
"Seize her!" A person with blonde hair suddenly appeared, and ordered the chibi. The red-eyed chibi nodded, and continued to run towards Janie.   
  
Thinking quickly, Janie pulled out her anti-bishonen ray and fired it upon the blonde person with the large glasses. However, to her dismay, the ray seemed to have no effect. The redhead college student panicked, and pressed a random set of buttons on her black Dimensional Pokeball. Anywhere was better than here, and she had to get out of here quick. If the Anti-bishonen ray didn't work on that man...  
  
Just as the red haired chibi was almost a foot from her, Janie disappeared into her electrified vortex, stopping the chibi redhead in her tracks.  
  
"DAMN IT! Why didn't you move faster?" the blonde Sir Integra Hellsing bellowed at the chibi Ceres Victoria, who promptly fell face-forward on the ground after her trying ordeal to catch Janie.  
  
"Legs... too... short..." the chibi muttered before passing out.   
  
"Incompetant bi-" Integra stopped short and regained her composure, then pushed her glasses up onto the bridge of her nose. She faced the butler, who awaited instruction.  
  
"More information. I must have more information about these 'travelers' and why they've kidnapped not only Alucard, but changed Victoria's stature," she told the man, then turned on her heel. She was almost at the end of the hallway, when something occured to her.  
  
"Get her to bed, Walter. I'll deal with her whenever she wakes up."  
  
"Understood, Sir."  
  
With that, the Hellsing butler picked up the chibi vampire and gave a sigh. He had better get that information quickly, else a certain ire would rise within his Knightly master.   
  
First things first, however. Being careful not to juggle her too much, Walter took Ceres to her room. The sooner he could find the information, the better, and not just for his Sir Integra's sake, but for Hellsing's.   
  
A chibi vampire couldn't do much.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Well? Digestible? Readable? Wonderful? Let us know what you think! ^_^ R&R, peoples! 


	3. Gene Starwind a bishonen!

Disclaimer: We don't own any of the anime's or places mentioned, save for the dorm room. And in a startling change of events, Saber now owns Shadow and all her possessions... damn poker...  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"So... where is it that you go every day, again?" Wolfwood asked the blonde college student Saberpilot, who was busy pecking away at a type-writer like contraption that had a screen attached.   
  
"Class, Wolfie-chan," the girl answered, continuing to type away at her laptop, staring at it intently. She smiled and looked away from her work, giving the chibi priest a wide grin.   
  
"Class?" Wolfwood asked. "You mean... you're here to become some sort of clergy person, or a technician?" He gestured with his hands, trying to see where the idea led to.  
  
"Oh, I don't know what I'm here for," Saber answered, throwing her hands up into the air and giggling. She placed her laptop aside, and put a palm against her cheek. "I know I don't want to be a programmer."  
  
"Which is a terrible shame," a voice called from the doorway, it belonging to a drenched Shadow-chan. Wolfwood flinched.   
  
"You would be such a good programmer," the college student continued. "After all, you made your laptop into an AI- that's something that not even some of the dweebs in Tech can do..."  
  
"Yeah, but it'd be boring," Saber winked. "Sitting at a computer all day, typing figures? Bah. No life for me. I'd rather be out, actually doing something. You know... like writing or drawing or... oh, I don't know... but something that involves me getting sunshine once in a while."  
  
"Speaking of sunshine," Wolfwood started, pointing towards the window, upon which a blonde chibi had his nose pressed, "how come it's not sunny all the time here? I've never seen any place like this- water comes from the sky- rain... there's nowhere like this on Gunsmoke."  
  
"You're right about that, Wolfwood," Vash agreed, still watching as droplets of water dripped down the dorm room windowpane.   
  
"Nothing interesting about rain," chibi Alucard argued. "Just makes nighttime hunting easier to accomplish."  
  
"Well, aren't we a ray of sunshine?" Shadow-chan smiled at the chibi nosferatu, placing two large plastic bags onto the desk in her room, and walking over to where the chibi sat on top of her bed. She leaned next to him and made a sad face.  
  
"Can't you at least TRY to be happy? We saved you from being turned into an anti-bishonen by that freak Janie..."  
  
"Wait," Alucard said, holding up a gloved hand. "You never mentioned that this woman, this 'Pokey-mon'," he said, sounding out the unfamiliar term, "was a FREAK."  
  
"And that should change things... how?" Wolfwood asked, raising a black eyebrow.  
  
The vampire gave him a raised eyebrow in response, his own tone of voice just as sarcastic. "Because FREAKs are like garbage that must be taken care of."  
  
"Huh?" Vash asked, turning away from the windowpane and looking back towards Shadow and Saber. The blonde by this point had picked up her computer once more and was already back to work. He stepped down from the stool he had used to look out and walked over to where she sat.  
  
"Hmmm?" Saber asked non-lyrically, not turning away from her 'Radical Edward' laptop.   
  
Vash merely stared at the screen until Saber finally turned her head to face him. She tilted her head to the side and blinked at him. He pointed towards the screen and smiled.  
  
"This is the 'Radical Edward'?"  
  
"Yes," Saber explained, beaming with pride. She turned the computer towards the chibi blonde and proceeded to explain. A few keystrokes later, a small red-haired person appeared on the screen, waving.   
  
"This," she continued, "is 'Radical Edward'. Say hi, Edward!" She typed a few things via the keypad before sitting back and watching.  
  
The computer image placed its digital thumb and forefinger against its chin, then proceeded to wave at the chibi gunner. Text that read "Hello, friend of Saber," appeared on the bottom of the screen.  
  
"What is she? Is she some kind of machine?" Vash asked, looking up at Saber. "I know of computers and such, but I've never seen a machine that has something like THAT on it."  
  
"Edward... is a special case." Saber winked, then typed in something else. The little redhead on the screen grinned, then proceeded to dance around the screen. "She's an AI- an artificial intelligence- I'm sure you've heard of them."  
  
Vash nodded.  
  
"She's a program that I've integrated into the very backbone of my computer- she controls everything while I'm away- searches, protection, updates- she's a good little AI. While I'm here, she helps me organize my files. Right, Edward?" Saber typed in another command, and the person on the screen nodded.   
  
Seconds later, the little person held out its finger to Saberpilot, and a screen popped up.   
  
"Huh? What do you-" Saber tilted her laptop back towards herself, and typed frantically upon the keys. Wolfwood walked over and leaned towards Vash.  
  
"What's all that about?"  
  
"I don't know," the gunner responded.  
  
"...Saber?" Shadow-chan asked, noticing that her friend and partner in crime was typing at a breakneck pace that she usually never saw the girl in. Shadow put an arm around Alucard, scooping him up and coming to sit next to the blonde.  
  
Saberpilot didn't seem to notice the rest of the people gathering about her, so intent was she on whatever she was working on. Wolfwood and Vash exchanged glasses, the priest looking up towards Shadow minutes later. The brown-haired college student shrugged, then tapped Saber on the shoulder.  
  
"Saber? Oh, Saber...?"  
  
Finally, the girl seemed to come back to reality, placing her laptop away from her lap and placing it on the floor. She sighed and put a palm to her cheek.   
  
"Saber?"  
  
"...someone tried to hack my computer."  
  
"WHAT?" Shadow-chan asked, blinking.   
  
"Just what I said. Someone tried to hack into Edward's fail-safe system whenever we were gone- Edward took counter-measure number one, but the fact still remains that someone got far enough to mess with her basic verbal communications."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Look."  
  
The girl pointed towards her laptop screen, where the little redheaded figure sat with its legs crossed. Its textual communication read, "All their base are belong to us. There is no hope. Ha ha ha... Edward are controlling their computer with Counter Measure First. Ha ha ha..."  
  
"That's... odd," Shadow-chan said slowly.  
  
"No kidding," Saber pointed out, then grinned, pointing a finger at the other young woman. "And that's not all. Edward got the identity of this hacker wannabe- apparently Janie Forka has some sort of basic detection system- she caught one of my probes and traced it back to my Radical girl here," she explained.  
  
"So... what does that mean for us?" Shadow-chan asked.  
  
"It means," Saber said, sighing, "that this Janie Forka knows that someone has stumbled upon her plans. She doesn't know who- Edward's not an easy cookie to crack- but if she were a little bit more knowledgeable, she could have broken the timer we'd set on her computer and broken into my system." The blonde shook her head. "The internet is a dangerous game, my friend."  
  
"So basically, this Janie knows about you now because of your AI here?" Vash asked, actually keeping up with the blonde's explanation.  
  
Wolfwood sat staring between the two blondes, wondering how the hell Vash could understand this whenever he was having trouble keeping up.   
  
"That's not good. That means that freak of nature has probably figured out that someone will try and stop her," Shadow pointed out. Saber nodded.  
  
"Too bad my Jackal has been shrunken down to an unliked size. You're the FREAKs," Alucard complained, not being noticed in the least by the two college girls.  
  
Saber agreed with Shadow, ignoring the chibi vampire. "That's what I'm thinking. We've got to stop her, and fast."  
  
"Wait, wait, wait... wait a minute here," Wolfwood said, standing up and pacing back and forth via his chibi legs. He pointed towards the two girls. "You two can't just go turning a whole bunch of these 'Bishonen'... of which I seem to be one, into chibis because someone's threatening to destroy us. You can't possibly bring them all here to be safe, can you?"  
  
"Well," Saber said, her expression slightly crestfallen. She paused and bit her lip, trying to come up with something. After a few minutes of this, she began to tear up.  
  
"I didn't think past that," she admitted, then set her laptop down, putting her head into her hands and beginning to weep. "I just... I wanted to save everyone..."  
  
"Damn pacifist," Shadow-chan muttered. She then gave the priest a scathing look. "Why did you have to bring that up? Saber's worked really hard on that invention of her's so that none of you would be killed- you should be thanking her, not belittling her!"  
  
"Saber," Vash said in concern, standing up and placing a chibi gloved hand on her shoulder. He looked at Wolfwood, his expression slightly disapproving.  
  
"Why'd you have to go and do that?"  
  
"WHAT? I have a reasonable point," Wolfwood argued, holding his hands out to the blonde gunner. He appealed to Shadow-chan, trying to find an ally in this hour of need.  
  
"Well, you both have valid points," the brown-haired student pondered. "Saber's, of course, being the one of primary importance- we are not going to sit back and allow any sort of Pokemon otaku not only to take over the world, but destroy all bishonen," she pointed out. Wolfwood looked downward. "However-"  
  
"However...?" Wolfwood's face became slightly hopeful.  
  
"You," she addressed the priest, "Have a point in saying that we can't bring them all here."  
  
"B-but," Saber started, her tears not yet stopped.  
  
Shadow-chan halted the girl with a finger. "We can't bring them all here, Saber... there's only so much room in a dormitory- I mean, there's all my stuff to consider... the twinling's too - so where can we keep all the chibis? We have three right now- and given my training we might be able to keep five or six, but we can't hold any more than ten or so- and just think of how much it would cost to keep them all fed- Saber."  
  
"What training?" Wolfwood interjected.  
  
"We have eight children in our family and six of them are female," Shadow explained to the priest. "Space management training you could say."  
  
"Ah. The crazy ones always come from large families..."  
  
"But Shadow..." Saber began to protests.  
  
"No buts. We may be able to keep, I don't know,about seven chibis here in all... but that's it. We have to find a more permanent solution to this."  
  
"I can give you a permanent solution," Alucard suggested menacingly... only to be ignored by everyone.  
  
"Like what?" Vash asked.   
  
The brown-haired collegiate placed her thumb and forefinger to her chin. "Well we have to find some way to defeat this Janie Forka once and for all, for one thing."  
  
"How, though?" Saber asked. "We have to not only find her, but get close to her so that we can learn her weaknesses and exploit them."   
  
Alucard raised an eyebrow. "Why not just shoot her?"  
  
"That's not an option," Shadow-chan stated.  
  
"Why not?" The chibi vampire asked, giving her a red-eyed glare. "She is a FREAK, or so you have described. Why should you then not destroy her?"  
  
"One: not a freak in the sense you're thinking of," Saberpilot commented off-handedly.   
  
"Two-" Shadow continued, "-is that while you may be the undead, we are very much alive and as such do not feel like serving jail time for second degree murder or the likes thereof."  
  
The blonde laid back on a nearby pillow and sighed. "Well, until we find a more permanent solution, I think that this is the best we're going to get," she pointed out to Shadow-chan.   
  
Her laptop still within typing distance, Saber pulled it close to her and began to type. "Well... Janie's computer has come out of the lockdown that my Radical girl put on it... but Janie's not trying to fix it in any manner. She must not be there."  
  
"Where could she be?" Shadow asked.  
  
"No clue- I can't track someone via my laptop- I don't have the technology-"  
  
"Then invent it, you STUPID GENIUS!"  
  
"..." Suddenly the blonde began to tear up again. Shadow-chan rolled her eyes.  
  
"For the love of-"  
  
"Can we all just calm down?" Wolfwood complained. "Her crying's giving me a headache..."  
  
The blonde computer girl began to cry even harder. Vash gave the priest a dirty look, then went and gave the girl a hug. Shadow-chan sighed, then began to rub her temples in a sign of agitation.   
  
"Please make her silent," Alucard spoke aloud, complaining verbally.  
  
"Saber, do you want to go and save another bishonen?" Shadow-chan asked, trying to think of something that would stop the girl's weeping. The blonde looked up, the tears in her eyes stopping.   
  
"R-really?"   
  
"Really," Shadow-chan grinned, a slight sweatdrop forming on the side of her forehead.  
  
"That's wonderful! Let's go!" Saberpilot said, smiling and scooping up Vash and Wolfwood as she readied herself. Shadow-chan looked at Alucard, the chibi vampire looking as nonplussed about this as the college student.  
  
"Must we?" he inquired as Shadow-chan pulled out her DGT.  
  
"Do you want to hear her crying again?" Shadow queried. Milliseconds later, the vampire was standing up and ready. She smiled. "Guess that's a no." Shadow pressed a combination of numbers on her sphere, Saberpilot bouncing up and down as she did so.  
  
"Where we going?" she questioned.  
  
"You know as well as I do that I have no clue!" the young woman snapped. "Ladies and gentleman we are about to begin our flight. Please put your tables and chairs in the upright position and keep your seatbelts fastened. Please keep hands and feet inside the ride at all times. Thank you-"   
  
And they were swallowed by the DGT's black hole. Seconds later, there was no sign of the students or the chibis... just a very empty dorm room.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Okay, okay..." A redhaired female said, looking at her surroundings. "Apparently I don't know where I am..."   
  
Janie Forka blinked, not quite knowing where she was. "Um... maybe I should have made a home beacon on this thing," she complained, inspecting her black dimensional Pokeball. She shook it in her hand, then looked around her.   
  
"This... is definately not the Pokemon universe. Which means that everything in this place is... EVIL!" She said, pulling out her Anti-bishonen ray, and holding it out in front of her.   
  
Movement caught her eye, and Janie turned to the side, still holding out her Anti-bishonen ray. The redhead blinked when she noticed a blonde-haired young man staring at her, his hand out in confusion.  
  
"Um... where did you come from?" the young man queried, blinking. Janie blinked right back at him, then lowered her ray gun.   
  
"From another dimension," she said, grinning slightly. "You remind me of him, so I'm not going to shoot," she said benevolently. Looking around, she raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly is 'here', anyways?"  
  
"Here?" the blonde young man raised an eyebrow. He gestured around himself. "'This' is Blue Haven," he answered. He held out his hand towards the girl, his eyebrow still raised. "I'm Jim Hawking... and you are...?"  
  
"Janie Forka."  
  
The blonde held back a derisive snort behind his hand. Trying to cover up his mirth, he waved his hand towards her.   
  
"So... um... why are you here anyways? I mean, why, if-"  
  
All of a sudden a black hole opened up in mid-air, spitting out five people, one of which landed right on top of Janie.  
  
"Ouch," Saber mumbled, just lying still. She couldn't move as it was; all three of the chibis were sitting on her.  
  
"Oy... hey- I landed on something again."  
  
"Get... off... me... you... SEA COW!"   
  
"Sea cow?!" Shadow-chan yelped, jumping to her feet, wielding the DGT as if she could use it to bash the insulter's head in. "Who are you? And what did you mean by calling me a sea cow?"  
  
"SHE'S NOT A SEA COW!" Vash yelled at the redhead, then turned to Saber. "Um... what's a sea cow?"   
  
"I," the red-head girl growled as she straightened her glasses, "am Janie Forka. Someone whose name you should respect." She held out her ray gun in agitation.  
  
Shadow-chan stared at the girl, her jaw dropped. Saber was staring as well, as were the chibis.  
  
"You-YOU'RE Janie Forka?" Shadow demanded. She was very much tempted to bash the red-head in the face with the DGT. "The psycho who plans to take over the world by using Pokemon?"  
  
"Psycho is rather harsh, don't you think?" Janie replied. She straightened the baseball cap and peered at the young woman.  
  
"LET ME AT HER!" Shadow growled, fighting against the chibis Vash and Wolfwood, who were holding her back by pulling on her t-shirt as hard as they could. Wolfwood was barely holding on, being half-dragged across the ground.  
  
"No- you can't!" Vash protested. "It's wrong."  
  
"Besides, we don't know what her weapon does!" Wolfwood added, still struggling to keep his footing.   
  
Janie didn't seem to hear this exchange, standing up and brushing herself off. "Well," she began in a high-and-mighty tone. "Since this is not the universe I want, I bid you all farewell... for now." She vanished into an electrified black hole. Once she was gone, the chibis let go of Shadow.  
  
"You should have let me bash her head in," Shadow grumbled at the chibis.   
  
"I did not stop you," Alucard pointed out. The chibi had stood on the sidelines and watched the entire time.  
  
"Who are you people?" Jim demanded, by this point fed up with people falling out of black holes. "And where in the world did you come from?"  
  
"Hmmm... well, we weren't with that fruitcake that just left, that's for sure," Shadow mumbled.  
  
Saberpilot blinked at the blonde teen, having been analyzing him the entire time after their arrival. "You- I know you," she said, peering at him. Seconds later, she snapped her fingers. "You're Jim Hawking, aren't you?"  
  
"Huh? Oh- yeah, that's right. But how do you-"  
  
"Shadow-chan! We're in the Outlaw Star universe!" Saber exclaimed, picking up Vash and jumping up and down with the gunner. She pointed towards the blonde. "That's Jim Hawking! From the Outlaw Star! And I bet if we look, Gene's around somewhere-"  
  
"Wait-" Jim said, holding up a hand. "You still haven't answered my question- who the hell are you people?"  
  
"Well..." Saber started, then put Vash down, and went over to hug the pre-teen, practically crushing the boy. She jumped back and gave a victory sign. "I'm Saberpilot, and that girl over there-" she motioned towards Shadow, "is Shadow-chan. These three," she said with a nod to the chibis, "are Vash, Wolfwood, and Alucard!"  
  
"Okay..." Jim said, scratching his head slightly. "So you're Saberpilot, Shadow-chan, Vash, Wolfwood, and Alucard," he repeated, pointing at each of them in turn.  
  
"That'd be correct," Saber nodded and grinned.   
  
"Okay. Now, onto my other question. Where did you come from?"  
  
"From another dimension," Shadow-chan pointed out, matter-of-factly.   
  
Saber off-handedly added, "with voyeristic intention..."  
  
Jim blinked. "Um... and you said you're not associated with that other girl... that 'Janie'?"  
  
"Definately not," Saber agreed, serious. "She's an evil that you were lucky to have survived. At least we know what she looks like now," she pointed out to Shadow-chan.  
  
"True," the young woman agreed.  
  
"I still can't believe... that's the ultimate evil that you were talking about?" Wolfwood complained, scratching his head slightly. "It seems to me that the girl that we saw would be more of a threat to... oh, I don't know... maybe a parent?"  
  
"I agree," Alucard voiced, crossing his chibi arms. "She seemed no more a threat than a FREAK."  
  
"Hold up a minute here," Jim interjected. "That girl- that Janie- was an 'ultimate evil'? She seemed more like a newbie outlaw."  
  
Shadow, Saber, and the chibis all looked at each other, digesting this thought. It only took a matter of seconds before Saber started to sputter giggles of laughter- even less for Shadow to break out into an outright stream of laughter. Wolfwood made a sniff as his response, then smirked.  
  
"Huh?"   
  
Jim was very confused by this point.  
  
"How's about we go back to your place," Shadow-chan tried to assauge the youngster's confusion, patting him on the back. "There, we can explain everything better."  
  
"And take care of a certain outlaw that she missed," Saber added, serious. "It's a good thing that she saw Jim first and not him- otherwise, there'd be one less bishonen in this world- or Harry for that matter-"  
  
"WHAT?" All sane explanations by now had left Jim's conciousness.  
  
"Just lead the way to your living quarters," Alucard ordered, his manner slightly agitated. Shadow-chan bit her lip, and got Jim's attention.  
  
"And before we get there... could you pick up a couple of mice or something?"  
  
"Mice?" Jim's fragile mind couldn't take much more of this.   
  
"For my friend here," Shadow-chan nodded to Alucard. "Unless you're willing to offer your own throat here. You see, he's hungry and he gets cranky when he's hungry. He drinks blood."  
  
"Wha...?"  
  
"Shadow, you're scaring the poor boy!" Saber hissed.  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
"Just lead the way," Wolfwood complained, pushing the youngster forward. The youth still had no clue as to what he was doing... let alone what was going on.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"That certainly is very interesting," a black haired samurai commented, sipping on her tea. As soon as Jim had entered the quarters of the Outlaw Star, numerous people, including the enigmatic Twilight Suzuka, Aisha Clan-Clan, Melfina, and the one and only Gene Starwind had halted the group, demanding an explanation from Jim.  
  
Needless to say, it had taken at least a good twenty minutes worth of explanation.  
  
"Yeah," Saber agreed, sipping on her own cup of tea. Shadow-chan merely stared at her cup, not much a fan of the brew. "And right now, this is the only way we know how to stop her," she stressed, sighing. "We only found out what she looks like today- and lucky for everyone here, she ran into Jim first and not Gene."  
  
"Gene? A bishonen?" Suzuka commented, placing her teacup back on its holder. "That is an interesting thought all by itself. So not only is Gene Starwind in danger of being killed by bounty hunters, but he is in danger of being hurt by a girl with an 'Anti-Bishonen' ray."  
  
Saber and Shadow both nodded, then Saber pulled out her chibi ray from her pocket and presented it to the group, laying it on the table.  
  
"Um... what's that?" Aisha asked, smelling the air around the ray gun.  
  
"That," Saber pointed out, "is our line of defense. By using this, we can make bishonen into chibis and therefore make them undeniably cute."  
  
"And this would be a good thing because...?" Gene asked, not liking where this was going.  
  
"It'd be a good thing because it'd save your sorry ass!" Shadow-chan exclaimed, standing up and placing her palms onto the table, angered by Gene's apathetic attitude. "In fact, I have half a mind to tell Saber not to turn you into a chibi just so you... so you..." Shadow-chan blinked, and looked at her strawberry blonde counterpart. "Um... what exactly would an Anti-Bishonen ray do?"   
  
"Uhh..." Saberpilot blinked for a moment, startled by the abruptness of the question.   
  
Jim and the others stared at the blonde, expecting an answer. It was then that it came to Saber, and the girl snapped her fingers. The blonde young man jumped in surprise.  
  
"It's simple! An anti-bishonen would have one of two effects- it would either, one," she raised a finger, "turn said subject into a very ugly and useless old man," she started.  
  
All the people present save for Gene held their chuckles back with a hand, trying not to envision the outlaw as ugly.  
  
"Or," she continued, "It would turn said bishonen into... a woman," she said, holding up another finger on her hand.   
  
At this point, it was nearly impossible for those present to hold back their peals of laughter, and the women and young man present broke out into chortles of laughter. Gene seemed nonplussed about the entire situation, his arms crossed.  
  
"Oh yeah. That's REAL funny, miss Smarty Pants."  
  
Aisha slapped the redheaded outlaw on the backside of the head, Shadow-chan right behind her. The man held up his arm in protest.  
  
"Ow! Aisha, what gives?"  
  
"These girls were nice enough to come and warn us about YOUR plight, GENE STARWIND, so why don't we all just get along and listen to what they have to say? Without making fun of them!"  
  
"...fine," the man stated, crossing his arms. "But I'm not going to be turned into a woman."  
  
"I would like to see that," Suzuka commented, proceeding to quietly sip on her tea. Shadow-chan snickered. "But, I guess I shan't, seeing as how these two came to take care of that."  
  
"Wait a second," Gene said, standing up and holding out his hands in front of him. "You- you don't mean-"  
  
"It makes sense, Gene," Jim commented. "We can't have our captain in danger of his life just because he's a... just because he's a..." the preteen snorted laughter, then laughed outright. "a PRETTY BOY!"  
  
"I am NOT a pretty boy."  
  
"But you're a bishonen."  
  
"They're different."  
  
"Not really..." Saber began.  
  
"You're still a bishonen," Jim snickered.  
  
"Shut UP, backup."  
  
"Make me, StarJERK!"  
  
"ANYWAYS!" Shadow-chan interrupted, earning everyone's gaze. "Ahem," she added, coughing politely. "Well, now that that's settled, lets get onto business, shall we?"  
  
"There is no way I'm letting you turn me into a chibi or whatever the hell it is you have in mind," Gene stated, glaring at Shadow.  
  
"Why does everyone always give me the evil looks?" Shadow wondered with an innocent face. Then she gave the outlaw and evil grin. "I'm not the one with the gun."  
  
"WHA-"  
  
Saber fired the chibi-ray before Gene could dodge it and the redheaded outlaw shrunk to the size of a four year old.   
  
"Oh, he's so cute," Melfina commented. Gene turned a bright shade of crimson.  
  
"Well what do you know," Gillian added with a gleeful tone. "Your body matches your mind set."  
  
"Shut it, tin can," Gene grumbled.  
  
"Join the ever growing, ever annoyed club," Wolfwood commented.  
  
"Wow, for once I'm taller than you!" Jim grinned. Suzuka was smiling serenely, though her eyes danced with laughter, and Aisha was practically rolling on the ground trying to contain her own gleeful reaction to the situation. Shadow merely sat in her chair, enjoying the outlaw's reaction.  
  
"So tell me, what's it like travelling on this ship?" Shadow inquired of Suzuka pleasantly.  
  
"I can't complain," Suzuka replied, just as calmly. "It gives me something to do."  
  
"Well, with a captain like Gene I can imagine you get into all sorts of trouble."  
  
"He's not that bad," Melfina said, joining in the conversation. "He has a good heart, he just sometimes doesn't know how to use his head."  
  
"Uh, excuse me! I'm still here, you know!" Gene growled.   
  
"Oh." Shadow-chan said, blinking. She then grinned at the chibi outlaw. "So you are."  
  
"Ha ha ha, joke's over, it's about time to change me back now, don't you think?"  
  
"Well, actually," Saber started, looking at her ray gun. Shadow-chan gave the blonde a withering look.  
  
"Don't tell me you didn't make a reverse beam on that thing. Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't tell me you didn't."  
  
"...and what if I didn't?" Saber's voice came out in a squeak. Suzuka grinned behind pressed lips, watching this exchange.  
  
"I SHALL SMITE THEE WITH A FRYING PAN!" The brown-haired collegiate stood up, and pointed at the blonde. Something occurred to her, and she stopped, then sat back down.  
  
"But why should that matter to me, anyways? I'm not the one who's chibi." She grinned cat-like at the chibi Gene Starwind, at whom Wolfwood threw a look of slight amusement.  
  
"Shut up, you stupid... stupid- WOLF!"  
  
"It's Wolfwood," the chibi priest pointed out, agitated.  
  
"No, it's WOLFIE-CHAN!" Saber squealed, picking up the priest and giving him a big hug. Wolfwood did not appear happy about this, slightly weezing.   
  
"Oh God..." Shadow-chan muttered at the same time as the priest, who was unhappy at his current situation. Vash appeared slightly jealous, his arms crossed.  
  
"Is your friend always like this?" Melfina asked.  
  
"Lightning fast mood swings with an alternating mind-set of adult and child?" Shadow asked. "Oh yes." Then she noticed the jealous looking vash and cooed. "Aww..." she smiled, picking up the chibi, who still appeared unhappy. "Someone's jealous, aren't they?"  
  
"CAN'T SOMEONE FIX ME? JIM!" The chibi Gene Starwind squeaked at the blonde. The taller preteen smirked, and shook his head.  
  
"I don't know the technology," he shrugged. Chibi Gene ran up and pulled at the blonde's coat ends.   
  
"THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH, JIM!"  
  
"It's the truth!" Jim said, holding out his palms defensively from the attacking redheaded chibi. "I really don't know- I have no idea how that ray of hers works, to begin with! And in any case," he grinned, "I kind of like being taller than you."  
  
"ARGHH!" The chibi growled, pulling at Jim's jacket, continuously. The blonde mock-fought him for a bit, then grimaced when he realized that the chibi was actually on the verge of winning. He was pulled down and the two proceeded to wrestle.  
  
"...he acts like this all the time?" Wolfwood raised an eyebrow, asking Suzuka, who had been staring at the chibi for some time now. The samurai assasin nodded serenely.   
  
"Yes. It's quite entertaining at times."  
  
"Quite entertaining? Poor Jim- Gene's such an idiot!" Aisha voiced.  
  
"...WHAT?" Gene stopped mid-punch, hearing his name called. He turned, only to recieve a blow to the face thanks to Jim. That caught the redhead's attention, and he refocused on his blonde opponent. "You little-"  
  
"You're the one who's little, remember?" Jim antagonized.  
  
"You-"  
  
The fighting continued for several minutes. Saber put Wolfwood down and started to cry, not liking the fighting what was going on. Wolfwood raised an eyebrow, and looked at Shadow, who put Vash down. Alucard sat about, looking completely bored with the situaion.  
  
"What- what the hell is she doing? Is she crying because they're FIGHTING?" Wolfwood queried.  
  
"Yes," Shadow-chan sighed. "She's always been like that. Martial artist or no, she hates it to see people fight."  
  
"...she's a martial artist?" Suzuka asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"I didn't stutter," Shadow-chan retorted.  
  
"Although it might make you sound intelligent if you did so," Alucard spat.  
  
"Is someone getting too much alone time?" Shadow-chan asked, proceeding to run over to the chibi and pull off his hat. Throwing the wide-brimmed head covering away, she proceeded to give the chibi... a noogie.  
  
"You. human. bitch."  
  
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but your teeth aint ever gonne get me," she smirked. "I love you too, Alu-san," Shadow-chan said, picking him up and hugging him, the chibi realizing that she was currently wearing her silver bracelets... to his dismay. The chibi had to rush into her chest in order to avoid being touched by them.   
  
"...can someone please silence that wailing? It is alarming to my circuits," Gillium complained of Saberpilot, who was still crying.  
  
"Aisha will make her stop crying!" the Ctarl-Ctarl smiled, snapping her fingers. She rushed over and picked up the girl, much to Saber's dismay. When she was lifted into the air, she paused for a moment, then began to wail louder.  
  
"Oh, you just had to make it worse didn't you," Gilliam remarked.  
  
"Does she always take to things like that?" Shadow asked of Aisha, dropping Alucard. Both Melfina and Suzuka nodded.  
  
"Your friend is very... sensitive," Melfina said.  
  
"Gyah, you're hurting my ears now," Aisha complained, still holding the wailing college student.  
  
Shadow sighed. "Do pardon my use of violence in this matter." Suzuka raised her eye brow and Melfina started to say something, but Shadow held up her hand to stop the android. "It has to be done. Aisha, please set her down."  
  
"No problem," Aisha grumbled, dropping Saber.  
  
"What's she going to do?" Jim asked Gene. The two had stopped fighting in order to watch the strawberry blonde who was making such a fuss.  
  
"Dunno," Gene replied.  
  
Shadow calmly walked over to the fussing woman and grabbed the crying girl's face. "Saber? SHUT THE HELL UP OR I'M GOING TO HIT YOU!" Saber squeaked and shut up, staring at the brown haired girl in shock. Shadow turned around and grinned at the crew. "And that is that."  
  
"That," Jim said, looking down at the chibified outlaw, "was really scary."  
  
"No kidding," Gene agreed. "I think she lost any appealing features that I saw in her right after that."  
  
"Gene?" Shadow asked.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't make me send you to Fred tagged and gift wrapped."  
  
"Yes Ma'am, sorry Ma'am."  
  
"You know, I like her," Suzuka said with a smile.  
  
"Me too," Aisha agreed.  
  
"You know, we really should work on settling the problem of how to fix this situation," Melfina said, gesturing to Gene. "I know that this is for Gene's well-being, but we will need him to be full-sized again once the threat you're dealing with is gone."  
  
"Well, if you don't mind holing up here for a little while and taking a break, we can take Gene back with us until we solve both the problem of Janie and Saber's unfinished ray," Shadow suggested. "We didn't mean to stop here, but since my DGT catalogues each of the diemnsions that we visit, we'll be able to return."  
  
"It sounds like a good plan to me," Melfina smiled.  
  
"It's a very sound plan," Suzuka agreed.  
  
"I like the idea of a break," Aisha added.  
  
"We'll still have to take up some part time jobs to cover docking costs," Jim pointed out.  
  
"Yes, but with Gene elsewhere, we might actually be able to save some of that money for repairs," Gilliam stated.  
  
"What, are all of you against me or something?" Gene demanded.   
  
"Don't look at it that way, Gene," Jim replied. "Look at it as a weird sort of vacation. Besides, you are staying with a couple of girls right?"  
  
"Yeah, except one of them cries the minute and arguement breaks out and the other is as scarey as hell," Gene grumbled.  
  
"You're so greatful," Shadow remarked under her breath.  
  
"Shadow, we should be going soon. We still have that term paper to type."  
  
"We?" Shadow asked. "Since when were 'we' typing that paper that YOU have to turn in on monday?"  
  
"Anyways... we should be going," Saber insisted with a nervous giggle.  
  
"It was nice to have met you," Suzuka smiled thinly. "Do bring him back in a bit, once you've had your fun. A few months should be enough time to rectify the drinking debts he's incurred."  
  
"WHA-? You're not actually letting them get away with this, are you?" Gene asked nervously. Jim crossed his arms and smiled with an evil glare to his grin. The chibi turned to Suzuka and Aisha for an appeal, but neither gave him any sort of signal. "Melfina?" He appealed to the android.   
  
"I'm sorry, Gene, but I think this is for the best. We do have some work to do, and a vacation might do you some good," she smiled. "Besides, they seem like really nice people."  
  
"NICE PEOPLE? NICE PEOPLE?!?!" Gene asked, pulling at his hair. He pointed at Saberpilot and Shadow. "If those two are nice people, then I'd rather stay with FRED!"  
  
"I can arrange that," Shadow-chan pointed out, raising a finger. Suddenly, Gene's perspective was changed, and he ran over to the blonde and brown haired women, saluting his shipmates.  
  
"How easily your opinions change," Jim pointed out dryly.   
  
"Shut up. Would you like to be sent to Fred, my "Darling Little Jimmy"?" Gene asked the blonde.  
  
"..."  
  
"I thought so," Gene said. He then grinned and faked a carefree expression. "Besides... being around two ladies, gorgeous or ugly as these two, will still entitle me to some free eye-candy!"  
  
Shadow-chan's eyebrow twitched. "Who are you calling ugly?"  
  
"...um...." Gene sweatdropped.  
  
"Bye-bye," Saber waved, stealing the DGT and pressing the button that allowed it to work. Seconds later, a black hole swallowed the two college students and the four chibis, leaving behind no trace of their ever being there.  
  
"GENE IS GONE!" Aisha yelped, smiling and waving her arms about. "Whoo-hoo!"  
  
"I do hope he'll be all right," Melfina pondered, putting her hand against her lips. "He didn't seem very happy about going..."   
  
"Don't worry," Suzuka smiled and comforted the android. "I'm sure Gene will be all right."  
  
"...as long as he doesn't do anything stupid," Jim added.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
"I. WANT. TO. GO. BACK!!!!" Gene yelled, protesting against Shadow-chan, who was trying to force the chibi outlaw into a pair of overalls and a Osh Kosh shirt.  
  
"I think not," the college student answered.  
  
"But you- you didn't dress THEM up," Gene protested, pointing towards the three other chibis Wolfwood, Vash, and Alucard. Shadow grinned.  
  
"That's because one, they wouldn't look as cute as you do, Gene," she smiled, tweaking the end of his nose. "And two, they didn't try to get a look at me while I was in the shower!"  
  
"...please kill me. Please?" he implored the other chibis. However, it seemed none of them were listening. Vash was watching Saber type away at her computer, while Wolfwood and Alucard were discussing weapons.  
  
"But I tell you, a quick-shot is much better on a .45," the priest commented.  
  
"I think not. Having a regulated spring barrel is much better," the vampire countered.  
  
"...have you seen the new cannon launchers?" Wolfwood queried. Alucard grinned behind his chibi red shades.  
  
"They were... very nice, yes."  
  
"HELP!" Gene yelled again, the two finally catching wind. Wolfwood looked over at the newest chibi and then back at Alucard.   
  
"You think we should...?"  
  
"I would not advise it. I find this rather amusing."  
  
"You find that amusing? Masochist."  
  
"I do enjoy drinking blood, you must remember."  
  
"Good point."  
  
"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!" Gene complained, Shadow-chan finally succeeding in her mission. The red-haired outlaw was now completely decked out in a pair of overalls and a cute red buttoned shirt.   
  
"That... is very embarrasing," Wolfwood stated. He looked over at Vash and Saber, who were still engrossed in 'Radical Edward'.   
  
"Quite." Alucard agreed.  
  
"Want to go find that camera of Shadow's and take pictures?"  
  
"It sounds like a plan," The vampire agreed, disappearing and reappearing with the device.   
  
"Wha- what are you doing with that- What are you-" Gene stopped short when he saw the flash of a camera in his eyes, falling dazed and confused onto the ground. Shadow-chan grinned and took the camera from the two chibis.   
  
"Sorry, boys, but that's my job," she winked, and proceeded to take pictures using her digital camera. She turned to Saber and smiled.  
  
"That uplink with the Outlaw Star ready yet?"  
  
"Just about."  
  
"Good. Get it ready to go."  
  
"Gotcha!" Saber grinned, giving a thumbs up.  
  
"Why me...?" Gene bawled, laid flat on the floor. His moans continued late into the night, constantly lamenting and worrying about his ever-deteriorating sense of pride. "Why me?"  
  
*********************************************************************** 


	4. Slaying Sanity

Disclaimer: Did we even do one of these yet? Probably not. Well, in any case, we don't own any actual anime characters. Wolfwood, Vash, Alucard, Integral, and al of the others that have showed up thus far are not ours. However, we do own ourselves... or I own us since Saber conviently lost as a game of poker *evil snicker*. Janie also belongs to us. Scarey neh? So no stealing please. Thank you and have a very odd day.  
  
**************************************************************************************************  
  
It was another rainy day in the world of the college students and when Shadow came back to her room she was soaked to the bone and looked as if she'd just been dragged through the nine hells and back.  
  
"What happened to you?" Gene asked with a slightly delighted grin. He never ceased to find amusement in Shadow being tortured or upset. Shadow, however, ignored him and peeled off her coat without a word. She began to do the same of her soaked jacket, much to the chibi outlaw's glee, when Saber entered the room.  
  
"Hello, what do you think you're doing?" Saber demanded, not of Gene, but of Shadow. "Do you always give guys free peep shows?"  
  
"Huh?" Shadow asked dully, looking around. She looked at Gene as if she were seeing him for the first time. "Oh, yeah, right." She grabbed a dry shirt and eft the room, heading to the bathroom to change.  
  
"You just can't let me enjoy myself, can you?" Gene muttered under his breath. The other chibis were still alseep. The only reason Gene was awake was because Shadow-chan had inadvertently stepped on him on her way to class.  
  
"Is she feeling okay?" Saber wondered to herself. "I hope she isn't falling sick again!"  
  
"Again?" Vash murmered sleepily as he woke up.  
  
"Does she get sick often?" Gene asked.  
  
"Hmm, I can't say that it happens often, but when she does get sick it's usually pretty bad."  
  
"Maybe its just the weather," Vash suggested. "All of this rain is enough to make anyone feel blah."  
  
Shadow re-entered the room changed and mostly dry, though her hair was dark and dripping. She still looked half dead. She was muttering something as well, but it was unintelligable.  
  
"Uh, Shadow, are you okay?" Saber inquired.  
  
"Must... have... coffee..." the brown haired young woman mumbled, stumbling towards her microwave. "No coffee at student union. Student union people are evil undead zombies. Must get caffiene... coffee... coffee..."  
  
"Well that explains it," Saber snorted, rolling her eyes. "She just needs coffee and then she'll be normal."  
  
"Normal?" Wolfwood choked, waking up to the tail end of the exchange. "That thing is normal?"  
  
"Well, she'll be back to being the Shadow we know and love," Saber grinned.  
  
A few moments passed and soon the room was filled with the scent of coffee... which seemed to make Saber want to gag.   
  
"Ah, much better," Shadow murmered after she'd downed a cup of coffee in one gulp. Wolfwood was giving her a hopeful look, which she read quite easily. "You shouldn't drink coffee you know," she pointed out with a mischievious look in her eyes. "It stunts the growth." But she gave him a cup anyways. After that she returned to her bed, curled up into a tiny ball, and pulled the covers over her head.  
  
"Shadow, you can't go back to sleep. We have work to do."  
  
"I don't wanna," came the muffled reply from under the blanket.  
  
"We have to stop Janie Forka from taking over the universe, remember?" Saber insisted.  
  
"No, I don't want to today."  
  
"You... don't want to today?" Saber repeated, blinking. She gingerly sat down on the bedside, poking at Shadow beneath the covers. "Shadow, are you feeling okay?"  
  
"What, is she sick?" Gene snorted.  
  
"I don't think she's sick," Saber replied. "Are you, Shadow?"  
  
"No, I just don't want to go out today. It's raining, I feel blah, and I stepped on something sharp this morning. It's one of those days and I don't want to do anything!" Shadow replied.  
  
"Maybe if she eats something..."  
  
"Ewww, you know I don't eat breakfast!"  
  
"Well, maybe you don't," Saber retorted. "But I most certainly do, and I think the guys are hungry too. So we are going to go out and eat before we get this day started. How about it, guys, you hungry?"  
  
"Hell yes!" Gene answered. Vash and Wolfwood nodded as well.  
  
"Right, then we'll see you in a little bit."  
  
"Bye. Don't cause too much mayhem," Shadow called as the little group left the dorm. She sighed and closed her eyes. Moments later however -   
  
"If you even think about biting my wrist and or neck I will have you hanging out that window before you can even say Andersong."  
  
Chibi Alucard remained on his perch at the headboard however, and smirked down at Shadow-chan, who glared back at him. "You do not frighten me."  
  
"I'm warning you, Alu-san, I am so not in the mood today. I failed my freaking math test and I am not in a good mood and - OUCH! YOU LITTLE-"  
  
Alucard had seized the oppertunity of Shadow waving her hand around to sink his fangs into the vein in Shadow's wrist. However, instead of flailing around like the last time he'd nipped her, she reached under her bed, grabbing the first object she could find, which happened to be her extremely heavy economics book, and proceeded to bring it down over Alucard's head. The chibi vampire released his grip on her and she dropped him, and the book, unceremoniously onto the floor.  
  
"See? This is what happens when you bite me and I'm in a bad mood."  
  
"And if I were to feed while you were in a good mood?" the chibi vampire inquired sarcastically.  
  
"Go eat a bird or something."  
  
Alucard glared at her as if she were something foul that he had found under the bed. Shadow ignored him, cleaning and wrapping the scratch he'd given her.   
  
"Well, at least you've had breakfast," she muttered.  
  
"Hardly."  
  
"Bite me," she sneered. It was her usual come back. Alucard looked pleased.  
  
"With pleasure," he growled.  
  
"It's called sarcasm. You've surely heard of it, no?" (A/N: *gasps* Shadow gets into a slight argument with her beloved Alucard? Is the world coming to an end? *giggle* no... it's just one of those days...)  
  
"You are an odd human," Alucard noted, watching Shadow as she returned to her nest of blankets.  
  
"Thank you for noticing."  
  
He paused a moment before continuing. "How is it that one who can create a device that moves from universe to universe cannot pass a simple foolish human test."  
  
"The DGT was an accident," Shadow replied dully. "I'm just dumb, especially when it comes to math."  
  
"At math perhaps you struggle, but you are far from... dumb."  
  
"Thanks, Alu-san."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"So, what do you suppose those two are doing?" Wolfwood wondered as the group walked back towards the dorm building.  
  
"Two?" Saber blinked. "Oh... we left Alucard there didn't we?"  
  
"Do you think she's killed him yet?" Gene snickered.  
  
"He's the undead," Wolfwood retorted. "You can't kill him."  
  
"Do you think he's killed her yet?" Gene rephrased, just as gleefully. "Or better yet, maybe he's-"  
  
"Gene, behave," Saber admonished. "Shadow's not at all like that."  
  
"She was about to strip for me this morning," Gene pointed out with a cat-like look on his face.  
  
"She was so out of it she didn't even know you were there," Wolfwood countered. "That hardly counts for her being easy and you know it."  
  
"You're just jealous because you missed the show," Gene argued.  
  
"Not exactly much of a show," Wolfwood snapped back, though he was beginning to turn a little pink.  
  
"Enough you two. We don't want to wake her up if she is sleeping." Saber knocked on the door before entering. The lights were still off and Alucard was back in his corner by Shadow's desk. Shadow was unconscious in her bed, and still clothed, much to Gene disappointment.  
  
"Don't you know how to make use of a great opportunity?" the outlaw questioned.  
  
"Have you any honor?" Wolfwood asked.  
  
"Last time I checked, no."  
  
"So she did fall asleep?" Saber inquired, examining the sleeping brown-haired girl.   
  
"She was very... agitated, so I took the liberty of helping her resume her rest," Alucard explained.  
  
The strawberry blonde sighed. "Then I guess we are in for the rest of the day. That stinks. I wonder what had her so upset in the first place. Did she say?" Alucard said nothing though. "Oh well. Now what to do...?"  
  
"You could always try and dig up more info on this enemy of yours," Vash suggested. "The more you know, the better your chances will be."  
  
"Great idea," Saber beamed. "Wanna help, Vash-kun?"  
  
Both of them turned slighly pink as they both set to work at Saber's computer.  
  
"I'm surrounded by idiots," Wolfwood mumbled to himself.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
A few hours later Shadow yawned and sat up, dropping the blankets from her shoulders. "Oi, what time is it?"  
  
"Twelve thirty," Saber replied without looking away from her laptop. "You've been asleep for a while. Feel any better?"  
  
"Er... yeah, actually."  
  
"Hey, I think I solved the problem of the chibi ray's reversal, but we need to go into town to get the parts."  
  
"Later. I think first we should see where the DGT takes us this time," Shadow grinned.  
  
"Really? You actually feel like going out today? Whoo-hoo!"  
  
"Yup, after that nap I do feel better. Oddly relaxed and for once no headaches that follow after tests. Looks like the day is getting better."  
  
"I think it's just because you got all thirteen hours of sleep you needed," Saber grinned.   
  
"What are you, a cat?" Wolfwood asked incredulously.  
  
"Close enough," Shadow grinned, grabbing her DGT. "Shall we go?"  
  
"Yes, let's," Saber agreed, grabbing the chibis.  
  
"Ladies and gentleman, we are about to deport for an unknown destination," Shadow giggled, entering random numbers into the DGT. "Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, and if you feel the need to barf, please do so over the edge of the cart. Thank you and remember, no one loves you, or your money, like Shadow-chan airlines." The black hole swallowed the ever growing group into nothingness.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
A bright blue sky shone overhead as a petite young woman with fiery red hair destroyed the last of what had been a group of ogres trying to destory her.  
  
"Is it me or do more and more monsters come after us now that we have you here?" she inquired of a purple haired man carrying a staff.  
  
"Now Lina, why would you ever think such a think?" he asked with a grin. Something caught his eye, and he raised an eyebrow. "Hmmm? What's that?"  
  
A black hole tore open the sky and deposited two full grown females and four small, child-sized males, onto a group of people.  
  
"He-ey, soft landings all around," Shadow-chan cheered as she climbed to her feet. A man with long blonde hair twitched on the ground beside her. The others climbed to their feet, slightly oblivious to the people they had fallen on.  
  
"Where are we?" Saber asked, looking around. "What universe is this, Shadow?"  
  
"Dunno. But at least it's not raining here."  
  
"Any sign of Janie space-case?"  
  
"Well, I don't see any ugly old men or oddly shaped women running about, so my guess is that she's somewhere else for the time being," Shadow replied.  
  
"Just who the hell do you think you are, and where did you come from?" the red-haired woman demanded, holding a glowing ball of light between her hands.  
  
"Oooooh, shiny," Shadow cooed, staring at the ball of light, entranced by it.  
  
"Shadow?" Saber asked, waving her hand in front of her companion's eyes. "Shadow? Hello? Wake up, Shadow..."  
  
"Huh? Oh, right," Shadow coughed, shaking her head. "Anyways, uh... yeah, hi. What was the question again?"  
  
"Who are you, and where did you come from?"  
  
"My name is Shadow, this is Saber, and these four are our posse. We're not from this universe, we're trying to rid the world of evil and we have no idea where the hell we are. Capiche?"  
  
"Lina, I-" one of the men accompanying her started.  
  
"Lina?" Shadow repeated, making sure she'd gotten it right. "Lina Inverse? Lina the famous sorceress?"  
  
"Well, what do you know. A fan!" Lina grinned, the ball of light vanishing.  
  
"Shadow, do you know these people?" Saber inquired.  
  
"Uh-huh," Shadow nodded, smiling brightly. "That's Lina Inverse. She's like, one of the coolest magic users around! The blonde guy is Gourry... he's a bit on the slow side but he's loyal... kind of like a big, human shaped puppy. That girl is Amelia. She's a pacifist... kind of annoying from time to time."  
  
"Pacifists annoying, huh?" Saber and Vash crossed their arms at the comment, but Shadow continued.  
  
"The guy in the kakhi cloak with blueish skin is Zelgadis. And he-" she pointed to the purple haired man, "- is our next target."  
  
"Target?" the purple haired man inquired, as if he had better things to be doing.  
  
"Yes, dear Xellos," Shadow confirmed. "We need your help, actually."  
  
"My help?" Xellos snickered. "And what makes you think I would help someone I don't know, and most certainly do not trust."  
  
"Uh-oh," Saber whispered to Vash as she noticed a certain gleam in Shadow-chan's eyes. "I've seen that look. This isn't going to be pretty."  
  
"Xellos, love," Shadow began sweetly, stepping close to the mazuko. "Do you like cute fuzzy little creatures?"  
  
"Not in particular," Xellos answered, huffing slightly.  
  
"Well, do you want this world to be ruled by a bunch of cute and cuddly creatures? Especially ones with brains the size of peanuts who are more evil that all of the Dark Lords compressed together? Because if you don't help us, that's what's going to happen."   
  
"Lina, that woman is very frightening," Amelia whimpered. Wolfwood gave the woman an incredulous glance.  
  
"You don't know frightening," he muttered under his breath.  
  
"No kidding," Gourry agreed with Amelia, not hearing the priest's comment.  
  
"Before you go whisking people away, do you want to tell me what you're talking about?" Lina said. Saber pulled the red-head aside and began to explain what was going on while Shadow continued to badger Xellos. Several minutes later, the sorceress was looking at Saber with a mixture of fear and disgust.  
  
"Wow," Lina said, regarding Saber with raised eyebrows. "No kidding, huh? A girl named Janie Forka wants to take over the world... using cuddly creatures called..." she paused, "Pokey-mon?"  
  
"It's the truth. And she plans to destory everything, especially your Gourry." Saber had remembered everything that Shadow had told her once about the Slayers universe, and for once, she was very glad of her ability to remember useless facts.  
  
Meanwhile, the rest of the group was watching as Shadow slowly brought the ever powerful Xellos into her control. She stamped her foot in agitation. "Furthermore, if you don't help us I will place you into a very comprimising situation that includes your master, a frying pan, and a dress of pink lace." She paused for a moment. "And you get to create chaos and disorder."  
  
"Where do I sign up?"  
  
"I knew you'd see it my way," Shadow grinned.  
  
"You know, the way that she manipulates people is very frightening," Zelgadis whispered to Lina. "She reminds me of someone..."  
  
"Don't even think about saying my name, blue man," Lina grumbled. "So you're going to be taking Xellos off of our hands for a while?"  
  
"Just a little while, we promise," Saber said.  
  
"No, no, take your time," Lina replied, smiling.  
  
"Ah, Lina, you hurt my feelings," Xellos said mockingly.  
  
"I'll hurt something else," Lina muttered, slitting her eyes.  
  
"All right, well... we should leave before we're missed."  
  
"Should we make sure that this area is Janie proof?" Saber asked Shadow.  
  
Shadow looked at Gourry and shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure that it would make too much of a difference with that one."  
  
"What about him?" Saber asked, pointing to Zelgadis. She gave Shadow-chan a wistful look. "You know, we could always bring him with-"  
  
Shadow cut her off, sweatdropping. "Yeah, I suppose that one deserves protection. Do it."  
  
"Your graciousness is much appreciated," Zelgadis remarked sarcastically.  
  
"Glad you think so," Saber grinned, firing the chibi ray at the cloaked man. When the dust cleared, a much smaller Zelgadis looked up at the blonde. The computer girl had to fight the urge not to hug the chibi.  
  
"What in the name of-" Amelia squealed, looking down at Zel. "Mr. Zelgadis?! Are you all right?"  
  
"I am... unharmed," Zelgadis noted, raising an eyebrow. "However, this is very... strange."  
  
"What sort of magic is that?" Lina demanded of Shadow-chan.  
  
"It's not exactly magic," Shadow answered, not wanting to get hit with a fire ball... or worse, the Dragon Slave. "But you might want to think of it as a protection spell from Janie Forka."  
  
"How on earth am I supposed to battle when I am under three feet tall?" Zelgadis questioned angrily.  
  
"The point is to keep you out of certain fights, munchkin," Shadow sighed. "Your magic will still work, you're just... cute now." Saber nodded encouragingly from the background... still fighting the urge to pick the chibi up and hug him to death.   
  
"And this helps how?" Zelgadis queried of Shadow-chan.  
  
"Erm... if I had the time to explain things to you, I would, really I would," Shadow began. "But you see, we have other universes to wreak havoc... I mean save..." Shadow-chan tried to cover her flubbing. "-not to mention we have to get to the store to buy the parts so Saber can reverse the effects. In short, we have to run. We'll bring Xellos back soon."  
  
"Wait-"  
  
But the group, plus one more, vanished into the black hole before Lina could finish her question.  
  
"This is not good..." Gourry pointed out to the redhead.  
  
"...shut up, blonde-boy," Lina sighed, pulling the man forward by his ear towards the town they'd been heading to...  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"What an interesting place of habitation," Xellos noted, examining Shadow's dorm room while the rest of the group peeled themselves off of various objects on the floor.  
  
"Is there some unwritten rule of the universe that says all mazuko will land gracefully and on their feet, while all others are tossed upon the floor PAINFULLY?" Shadow muttered, climbing to her feet.  
  
"I told you, lay pillows down," Saber insisted, hugging her slightly stunned Vash. The chibi had fallen onto a pile of DVDs.   
  
"So, you like the place then?" Shadow asked Xellos, a grin on her face.  
  
"It is quite chaotic, and pleasantly so." He turned and gave the girl a wide grin.  
  
"It's a terrible mess!" Gene snarled. "My room is even cleaner than this!" Everyone gave him mixed looks of disbelief. "Well, it is!" the chibi outlaw insisted.  
  
"Riiight," Wolfwood replied.  
  
"Wow, look at how late it is already!" Saber exclaimed- pointing at a clock, then yawning for good measure.  
  
"Did we really take that long in the Slayers universe?" Shadow wondered. "Well, I suppose it did take a while to explain things to Lina... and Gourry especially."  
  
"That, and we didn't leave until well after noon," Saber pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, that too."  
  
"Feel like going to Wal-mart tonight, to get those parts?"  
  
"Nah, I'm tired."  
  
"Tired?!" Saber exclaimed. "You slept until past noon!"  
  
"I know," Shadow grinned. "And I'm tired again. Saving bishonen is such a tiring job."  
  
"If you sprout cat ears I'm going to start to call you Ichigo."  
  
Shadow grinned at her counterpart. "Well, if that's the case then, in the famous words of the cat-girl Saber: 'nyah'! Now, I'm going to sleep." And with that she collapsed on her bed and promptly passed out.  
  
"Is she asleep already?" Wolfwood inquired, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Actually... I think so," Saber answered. "It's amazing how fast she does that. She really is like a cat."  
  
"And you're not, miss 'stupid genius'?" Gene retorted. Saber gave the redhead a snort in answer.  
  
"I think I shall explore this universe," Xellos proclaimed with an impish grin, still staring at the walls around him.  
  
"Xellos, um... if you're going to cause chaos, try to do so without drawing attention to yourself," Saber instructed. "Oh, and there is one more tiny thing we need to take care of."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Saber fired the chibi ray, shrinking the mazuko into a pint sized mischief making purple haired monster.  
  
"WHAT? I am here of my own free will-"  
  
"It's only fair," Saber grinned, winking at the other chibis, who were smirking at the mazuko's new stature. "Enjoy your tour."  
  
Grumbling, Xellos left the dorm room, and the other chibis looked at the door, then back at Saber.  
  
"Why does he get to go out?!" Gene demanded.  
  
"How does that qualify as fair?" Wolfwood added incredulously.  
  
"He's here as an ally, not as a 'capture', if you will. Besides, Shadow promised he could cause a little bit of mayhem, so he gets to go out unsupervised for now. Get used to it." The college student instructed matter-of-factly. She then grinned, and Wolfwood could have sworn he'd seen a pair of ears sprout from her blonde head. "Now, who's up for some supper?"  
  
"What are we eating?" Vash asked excitedly.   
  
"Well, since I can't cook and Shadow is asleep," Saber began, then snapped her fingers. "Pizza."  
  
"Yay!" Vash cheered.   
  
"Well, it has to be better than doughnuts," Gene muttered. "I'm getting plain sick of those things."  
  
  
  
"I'm surrounded by idiots," Wolfwood sighed, shaking his head. "Why me, God? Why me?"  
  
"Because you're a preacher man," Vash grinned and winked, then returned to Saber's side, pointing out which toppings he wanted.  
  
"...get me out of here," the priest complained. "Just get me out of here..."  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Well? Thoughts? Feelings? Necromancy? In any case, leave a review- we love to get those... ^_~ It makes us feel warm and bubbly inside! 


	5. Petshop of Chibis

A/N: Well, guess what? WE STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING. REALLY. We don't own CANADA either. So all you people thinking it's funny to ask us if we own Canada, get a life. We don't own it. GOT IT?  
  
***********************************************************************************************************  
  
"No. No way. Nope. Uh-uh," Saber shook her head, determined not to give in to her friend Shadow-chan's pleading. The brown-haired collegiate had been trying to convince her to try on a pair of shorts for the past half hour.  
  
"Please? Come on, Saber- it's too hot outside for you to wear those God-awful jeans," Shadow-chan countered. "You make me overheat just looking at you!"  
  
"And I'm sure you'd look much better in shorts than those pants," Gene Starwind, chibi at large, added... no matter that his reasons were less than innocent in nature.  
  
The heat outside the college dorm room was just barely less than volcanic, the temperature an overheated one hundred degrees farenheit.  
  
"COME ON, you stupid genius! You're going to overcook if you wear those things," Shadow continued, stamping her foot impatiently. "Even twinling is wearing shorts- and she never does!"  
  
"Twinling?" Wolfwood queried of Vash, standing next to him. Even the usually red-clad chibi was feeling the effects of the heat- he'd stripped off his trademark jacket and was down to his black bodysuit.  
  
"I think it's her sister," Vash commented. "I've heard of her indirectly by Shadow-chan. I think her name's Yue."  
  
"The evil one did mention her, yes," Alucard agreed, crossing his arms.   
  
"Evil one?" Wolfwood raised an eyebrow.  
  
"The Shadow-girl."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Meanwhile, Saber was being just as stubborn about the issue, crossing her arms and shaking her head in protest. "No! I refuse to wear those things- I prefer to have my legs covered, thank you-"  
  
"Then don't blame me if you become Sausage Saber in a few hours, frying," Shadow-chan sighed, exasperated. She threw up her arms in mock-exhaustion. "I can't win with you, can I?"  
  
"...not with those squalling reasons as your supporting evidence," Saber answered, keeping her arms crossed in contest of the situation.   
  
"...stupid genius."  
  
"Squalling otaku."  
  
"Fanfiction newbie."  
  
"...Min May."  
  
"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Shadow-chan angrily yelled at the blonde, who threw up her arms and winked.   
  
"Not so stupid, am I?"  
  
"...stupid freaking..." Shadow-chan stalked off to a corner of her dorm room, sitting down at her desk and typing away at her own computer. Quite angrily.  
  
"...why did you do that?" Wolfwood asked the blonde. Xellos waved his hand at the priest.  
  
"Don't ask her why she did- congratulate her on how well she did," the violet-haired chibi exclaimed. He pulled the blonde's hand and shook it. "Congratulations- I haven't seen such a display of chaos since-"  
  
"Let me guess. Your days with Lord Ruby Eyes," Wolfwood complained. "Yes. We've heard this story many, many times already. WE DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT AGAIN!"   
  
"...you're no fun," Xellos complained.  
  
"Get over it," the priest retorted. "Some of us like to stay quiet about things."  
  
"...we do?" Vash asked. "That's funny. Usually you're the more loud-mouthed of the two of u-"  
  
"Quiet, needle-noggin," Wolfwood snorted.  
  
"Are we finished with creating noise levels that would wake MY master?" Alucard complained, crossing his arms. "I do wish to get some rest during the daytime hours, unlike you lesser humans-"  
  
"Um... some of us aren't human," Xellos replied, raising his hand. Alucard threw the chibi a loathing gaze.  
  
"Well, I'm done creating problems," Saber snorted. "I don't know about Shadow-chan over there, but I want to start tweaking on Edward. Forka may not be back at her computer yet, but Edward needs all the protection she can get- she's guarding herself, after all," she smiled.   
  
"...can I watch?" Vash asked, smiling. Saber tweaked his nose and grinned.  
  
"Of course."  
  
Shadow was sticking her head - and as much of her body as she could, into the refrigerator. "Gyah... why does it have to be so hot?" she whined. "I hate living on the seventh floor. Sticking us in an oven would have been more merciful and less warm."  
  
"You're going to get stuck," Wolfwood warned.  
  
"Shut it, Priest," Gene replied, his smile very cat-like. "The view from here ain't so bad."  
  
"Gene Starwind, if it wasn't so hot out, I would kick you in the ass and out the window!!!" Shadow snarled, climbing out of the fridge. She proceeded to shove everything that was on the floor under and around the bed, then began to roll up the carpet.  
  
"What is she doing?" Wolfwood wondered.  
  
"How does she fit everything under the bed?" Xellos added, questioning. "It has to be a portal of some sort. There is no way that a mortal could fit so much under such a solid object."  
  
"Obviously you've never met someone like Shadow-chan," Saber said from her area at the laptop.   
  
Shadow stacked the rolled up carpet in the corner, blocking Alucard in. She then proceeded to lie herself flat on the linolium floor. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes.  
  
"She looks like a rug," Wolfwood noted. "But... that's definately not a bad idea. Especially in this heat. Gunsmoke'd be put to shame in this weather."  
  
"My linolium floor, not yours," Shadow mumbled sleepily. "Saber, how you are surviving in jeans is beyond me."  
  
Saber ignored the remark, typing away at her computer with Vash watching over her shoulder, making a suggestion or two every now and then. A snap was audibly heard, and Vash turned to see the girl snapping her fingers.  
  
"Hey, I think I've fixed her!" Saber exclaimed. She didn't get an answer from her counterpart, and she swiveled her head to look at the brown-haired collegiate. "Shadow, did you hear me?"  
  
"Er... I think she's asleep," Wolfwood said, nudging Shadow with his toe. The girl seemed dead to the world. "Yes. She is most definately asleep."  
  
"Not any more," Xellos grinned, dumping a bottle of chilled water on Shadow, having extracted the bottle from the fridge in their room. The student yelped, jumped up, and glared at all of the chibis.  
  
"What? We didn't do it!" Gene said defensively.  
  
"Riiight. Sure, you had nothing to do with it. Why don't I believe you, Starwind?" She grumbled, drying herself off. "Saber, I think we should get going... if I stay here any longer, my brain is going to explode from the heat."  
  
"That might be interesting to see," Alucard remarked.  
  
"Ah, but then who would feed you?" Shadow-chan countered with a wink.  
  
"You haven't fed me since that time I stole my meal from you."  
  
"He stole a meal from you?"  
  
"Yeah, he bit into my meal card," Shadow snickered sarcastically. Saber blinked, confused. Shadow-chan shook her head. "Oi, never mind..."   
  
"Wait, I understand now!" Saber proclaimed, smiling and holding out an index finger. She looked over at Alucard, pointing the appointed finger at the chibi vampire. "You're bad."  
  
"Heaven and all that is holy- help me!" Shadow pleaded.  
  
"Well, miss Whiner, do you want to get out of here, since the heat seems to affected your poor frail body as well as your mind-" Saber started, only to find a rather agitated Shadow-chan holding a power cord in her hands.  
  
"Miss Whiner, huh? Let's see what happens when 'Miss Edward' is off of her juice for more than two hours," Shadow smirked at the computer genius. Saberpilot's right eyebrow twitched, and Wolfwood started to back away from the duo.  
  
"Was that a challenge, whiney girl?"  
  
"Yeah... yeah, I think it was," Wolfwood replied.  
  
"Give it back!" Saber protested, her blonde eyebrows furrowed in anger.  
  
Shadow proceeded to climb onto the top bunk-bed and hold the cord out of Saber's reach... which was not very high as it was. "If you can get it, take it."  
  
"Shadow... you're so mean!" The blonde stamped her foot on the ground.  
  
"I know," Shadow grinned. "I thought we were going to go somewhere."  
  
"I guess so," Saber grumbled, glaring at Shadow as she left the power cord at the very far edge of the top bunk-bed, making it virtually impossible for Saber to get it unaided. The blonde growled for a minute, then snapped her fingers. Seconds later, a certain ray gun was pointed directly at Shadow-chan.  
  
"You better not be pointing that thing at me," the college student retorted. Saberpilot didn't answer. Shadow-chan chuckled, and held up her hand.   
  
"Okay, okay. Joke's over. Put down the ray gun."  
  
Saber didn't move, her expression serious.   
  
"Give me back the power cord. Now. And if you don't..." Saber smirked, "I think you'll be finding out what it's like to not be able to reach things."   
  
Shadow gritted her teeth. "You're not kidding, are you?"  
  
"It's Edward's life line. She can't survive for longer than two hours without that plugged into her." Vash's expression became serious when he heard that, and he joined the college student in her defiant stance against Shadow.  
  
The brown-haired student sighed, then picked up the chord and threw it down into Saber's waiting hand. The blonde gave a smirk in celebration of her victory, then proceeded to stalk over to her laptop and plug the computer in. Shadow-chan grumbled, but climbed down from the bunk bed, and picked up the DGT that lay on her work desk.   
  
"We're going. No ifs or buts about it. It's too hot to stay here anymore," she complained to Saber, who was quickly typing up instructions to Edward. Alucard raised an eyebrow.  
  
"How is it 'too hot' for you, college girl?" He queried, smiling slightly.  
  
"It just is," Shadow-chan retorted, hands on hips. Something occured to her, suddenly, and she queried the chibi. "How the hell do you stay cool, anyways, Alu-san? You haven't even taken off your jacket- and I would have thought that heat would affect a vampire."  
  
"It is light, not heat, college girl," the vampire answered, "that affects me. Do you not know much of anything?"   
  
"Obviously not, if she can't figure out how to outwit a stupid blonde," Xellos muttered.  
  
"...stupid vampire," Shadow-chan complained. She looked towards Saber, who had been drawn into her computer, and sighed loudly, rolling her eyes. "How long does it take for you to instruct that computer of yours, anyways?   
  
The blonde didn't answer, still drawn into her world of 0's and 1's. Gene and Wolfwood grimaced, noticing that Shadow-chan was becoming quite irate from the process of trying to get Saber's attention. Xellos smiled, quite amused by the turn of events.  
  
"DAMN IT!" Shadow-chan walked over and went to hit the girl on the back of the head, only to have two things happen simultaneously- one, Vash running in front of her hand to protect Saber, and the other, the slam of a door from behind Shadow.  
  
"Huh?" She asked, not realizing that she'd activated the DGT with her other hand. Seconds later, the entire group, plus one, disappeared into a black hole.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"You still didn't answer my question," a blonde-haired man pointed out to a rather feminine man sitting before him. "How did an iguana," he continued, "manage to drain a full-grown man of all of his blood?" He shook his head. "That was no normal iguana, Chinaman."  
  
"It was merely a pet," the man said, smiling. He picked up a tea cup and sipped at the nectar within. "A pet whose owner could not fulfill the terms of the contract. That is all."  
  
"And that makes it right that George Carlos, Olympian extraordinaire-"  
  
The blonde man was cut off, however, as a large black hole appeared above them, depositing three full-size bodies and five very small ones onto the two men and their surroundings.  
  
"OWWWIEEE!" Saber yelped, having landed on top of the china teapot and teacups. She jumped off of the table that held them, rubbing both her upper and lower back in pain. "Owwie owwie owwie," she complained, whimpering slightly.  
  
"Owwie? Owwie?!?" Shadow-chan asked the blonde, not completely up to the time frame of the present. "What the- Saber?" The brown-haired college student blinked, finally catching up to the fact that she was no longer in her dorm room. "Where...? Who?" She looked around coming face to face with a very uncomfortable looking Count D, who was actually trying to remain composed.  
  
"You're D!" Shadow exclaimed, giving the Chinaman a hug.  
  
"D... do you know these people?" the blonde man asked cluelessly.  
  
"No Detective, I cannot say that I have met them before," Count D replied.  
  
"Leon!" Shadow squealed, lunging for the police detective to give him a hug as well.  
  
Alucard let out a tiny growl, which Saber noticed right off the bat. "A little jealous are we?" the strawberry blonde inquired with a smirk.  
  
"Hardly. It is embarrassment at your friend's behavior."  
  
"Yeah, she's like that every now and then," Saber grinned. "She had sugar this morning."  
  
"W-who are you?" Leon demanded, prying Shadow-chan off of his waist. "And why are you hugging me?"  
  
"Oh...where am I?"  
  
Shadow, Saber, Leon, and Count D all looked at the source of the voice at the same time, which turned out to be a young woman who looked very similar to Shadow-chan. In fact, she had the same facial features, save that she wore glasses, and she had the same skin tone and build. The only main difference between her and Shadow was that this young woman had VERY short brown hair.  
  
"Yue?!" Shadow gasped. "Oi, how on earth did she wind up with us?"  
  
"Who's she?" Xellos inquired, closely examining the "clone".  
  
"That, I would assume, is the 'twinling'," Wolfwood answered. Saber nodded.  
  
"So she's here too?" Vash inquired. "She doesn't look as bad as Shadow always says she is."  
  
"You haven't spent a lot of time with her, Vash, so you can't really say that," Shadow stated. Then an evil look spread across her face and Vash immediately hid behind Saber.  
  
"I don't like that look," he whimpered.  
  
"Me either," Gene said, joining the chibi gunner in hiding behind Saber.  
  
"Gentlemen, please forgive our rude interruption and my...odd... behavior," Shadow-chan began sweetly. "We didn't mean to drop in on you like this, but unfortunately our mode of transportation is very, how shall we say- unpredictable."  
  
"You know, she's frightening when she tries to act sweet," Wolfwood noted, joining the other chibis.  
  
"I like her this way," Xellos grinned. "She seems very coniving."  
  
"This is just the tip of the iceberg," Saber warned.   
  
"Ri-ight," Leon Orcott replied to Shadow, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Apology accepted. Now... what are you doing here?"  
  
Shadow smiled serenely and turned to the enigmantic Count D. "You see that thing lying on the floor? That's actually a rare type of pet, and I'm very willing to sell her to you."  
  
"Shadow!" Vash protested, stepping forward. "You can't sell your own flesh and blood! Especially your twin!"  
  
"Wanna bet?"  
  
Leon was about to say something when another black hole opened, right above Count D. This time, however, the black hole screamed with electric sparks. Shadow dove at the Chinaman, pushing him out of the way as yet another body appeared. She huffed at the effort of getting the Count out of danger's way.  
  
"You're quite fast," the Count noted of Shadow as he helped her to her feet. The girl smiled lopsidedly, then turned to the person who had arrived, ready for anything.  
  
"Another of your friends?" Leon remarked with much sarcasm as the dust cleared away.   
  
"No friend of ours," Saber sneered once she saw who the other body was. There was no mistaking the red locks and the "Ash-hat". Janie Forka, Pokemon otaku, had arrived.  
  
"You again," she smirked, viewing Saber, giving her a once over. "I didn't know they let little kids use transporters." She smiled as she looked at her surroundings.  
  
"Why you-" Saber shouted, lunging for the redhead, Vash and Wolfwood holding her back. Her hands were balled into fists, and it took all the chibis' strength to keep her fury at bay.  
  
"Violence is wrong!" Vash stated, his teeth gnashing as he fought to keep Saber in one place. His booted feet slid a bit as Saber went against his binding arms.  
  
"And she has a weapon we don't know how to fix," Wolfwood added, his own body sliding as he tried to hold Saber at bay.  
  
"What do you want here?" Shadow demanded of the redhead, knowing that she treaded upon dangerous ground when dealing with the evil inventor.  
  
"I'm just in this universe to remedy a situation," Janie replied, pulling out her anti-bishonen ray and pointing it toward Shadow. She raised an eyebrow.   
  
"You know... it's rather odd that I keep running into you two," she pointed out. "No one else that I know of has this technology," she mumured, more to herself than the girls before her. "Unless..." she started, then shook her head. "No. Nevermind." She regained her handle on her weapon, still pointed in Shadow's direction.  
  
"That thing's not gonna work on me, you know," Shadow pointed out.  
  
"Ah, but it's not for you," Janie grinned. She squeezed the trigger, firing not at Shadow, but at Count D. The beam hit him, filling the room with a bright red light. When it faded, D stood where he had been, except he was now... very much a she. His hair was long, falling to his waist and he now had some very... womanly features.  
  
"You...you...you..." Leon stammered, pointing at the now highly-feminine Count D.  
  
"Boobs," Shadow said for the stunned detective.  
  
"Some people have no tact," Wolfwood sighed. He didn't seem to notice Gene's fascination with the Count's newest set of... additions. The outlaw nearly had his jaw on the ground.   
  
"Hey-" Yue exclaimed pointing to Janie's hat. "Pokemon!" Janie blinked, surprised at the positive response she had gotten from the twin of Shadow-chan. She then smiled and held out her hand invitingly to the short-haired twin.  
  
"Ah, another fan?"  
  
"Hell yes!" Yue-chan exclaimed, gleefully smiling and clasping her hands together.  
  
"Really?" Janie grinned evily. "Care to join me and leave this worthless universe to these... children?" She asked, looking pointedly towards Saberpilot, whose teeth gritted angrily. Vash and Wolfwood held the strawberry blonde at bay, their chibi feet sliding as they kept her away from the Pokemon fan.  
  
"In fact," Janie said, pointing towards the collegiate Saberpilot, her expression serious, "You're vaguely familiar. Not only have I seen you twice now," she said, her voice becoming serious, "but I get the feeling that we have clashed in Earth Prime before. Which I am assuming you have not visited since you left, since I couldn't even manage to invent a homing device," she muttered, the last part coming out rather acid-like.  
  
"Ah, but-" Saber started, only to be cut off by Shadow-chan's palm, that covered her mouth.  
  
"If you have something to say, say it now," the brown-haired girl said. She then looked towards her twin.   
  
"So. You're leaving."  
  
Yue-chan grinned, and it was then that Vash hid slightly in fear, for the college student, and twin of Shadow, wore a grin that bespoke of the devil's own darkness.  
  
"And what if I am? Trying to sell me? ...and you've never been a Pokemon fan. In point of fact, if I remember correctly, you wrote a few fanfictions way back when that included Ash being tortured with... what was it, again? Turnips?"  
  
Shadow's eyes turned to slits. "So that's the way you want it."  
  
Yue grinned, the smirk still brimming with evilness. "Yes. That's the way I want it," she said, and turned to Janie, her back towards the twin. Shadow-chan gritted her teeth in anger.  
  
Yue grasped Janie's hand. Janie threw Saber a loathing glance.  
  
"The next time we meet," she started, "You'd better tell me who you are. Otherwise, I may have to take you out permanently. Enjoy the dimension hopping," she smiled. "After all, it'll take a while before you find Earth Prime again... I should know."  
  
Shadow-chan removed her palm from Saber's mouth, and the girl dropped her offensive stance, her teeth clenched in pure rage. She breathed out heavily through her nostrils, flaring them.   
  
Yue-chan smirked as the two left via Janie's own black pokeball invention, electric sparks eventually consuming them and throwing them into a black vastness. After they had disappeared, Shadow-chan threw her fist against the floor, enraged.  
  
"I told you I should have sold her," Shadow muttered, her anger barely in check.   
  
"Don't tell me not to be angry, then," Saberpilot pointed out, her blue-gray eyes a dangerous shade of slate gray. She turned towards Vash, Wolfwood, and Gene, all of who took a step back from the blonde, whose very nature seemed dark as night.  
  
"Um... Miss Saber?" Vash asked, his own blue eyes wide with slight fear. The short woman looked down at him in all his chibiness, then looked upward towards Leon and the Count, the blonde man wearing an expression of utter confusion.  
  
"...what just happened, here?" He queried, completely puzzled.  
  
"It looks like a family's blood has been split," Alucard muttered, his red eyes dancing with a mixture of amusement and slight concern.  
  
Shadow-chan continued to punch the ground, kneeling and looking downward. Seconds later, a black mist formed next to her, and she felt a pressure on her shoulder. When she blinked, she saw chibi Alucard next to her, his red eyes serious in nature.   
  
"Al-Alu-san?" she asked.  
  
"Do not worry. With myself on your side," he started, his chibi fangs showing, "the one with whom you have asundered shall pay."  
  
"No, Alu-san, I don't want her dead!" Shadow-chan exclaimed, then added as an afterthought, "or undead." She then came out from her self-imposed anger spiral. The vampire smiled, and closed his eyes.   
  
"This I figured. But this," he motioned to his hand on her shoulder, "was better than biting you, no?"  
  
"...he's right," Saber agreed. She stood up and focused her energy on her composure. Seconds later, all signs of her previous rage had been conealed, and she gave Leon and the Count a big thumbs up.   
  
"Don't worry. We're going to take care of this."   
  
"Okay..." Leon said, still a bit lost. He scratched his head, and blinked at Saber.  
  
"So how do we fix the Count, here?" Saber asked, thinking. "We had an idea of what her ray might do, but we never actually came up with any theories on how to reverse it, hence our mission."  
  
"Well, there's always trial and error," Shadow replied. She also stood up, her spirits renewed. She then smiled. "And besides," she added, snatching Saber's chibi-ray and firing it at the womanly Count D, "we've got a few advantages over Janie." D shrunk down to the size of a child; however, he did return to his normal form. Flipping the switch to reverse, she returned him to his normal size.  
  
"Much more agreeable," D smiled serenely.  
  
"Well, brownie point to trial and error," Shadow grinned. Saberpilot held up a hand.   
  
"What were you saying about advantages?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.   
  
"The DGT," Shadow-chan grinned, shaking her finger at Saberpilot. "SHE doesn't have a homing device. Which means-"  
  
"Which means that she'll never be able to do any real damage in Earth Prime," Saber grinned. "She won't have any of the materials she needs unless she makes it to a mech universe." The blonde nodded, and snapped her fingers. "And... it gives me a specific advantage," she added.  
  
"Ah?" Gene asked, raising a red eyebrow. He looked rather dejected at the loss of Count D's breasts.  
  
"She isn't anywhere near her computer," Saber pointed out, snapping her fingers. "And so... while the Pokemon trainer's away, Saberpilot will play..."   
  
"Will someone please explain what the HELL is going on?" Leon asked, balling his hands into fists. The detective stood up and pointed a finger at Shadow-chan and Saber.  
  
"WE were having a pleasant conversation about HIS little drug industry until you came along and... did whatever you did!" Leon sputtered, his left eyebrow twitching as he spoke.  
  
"Should we save him?" Saber asked. Shadow-chan rolled her eyes.   
  
"Hell no- look at who Janie shot at," she pointed out. "Count D."  
  
Something suddenly occured to the girl, and she turned to look at the pet shop owner. "...Count D," she murmured once more. Xellos raised an eyebrow, wondering what was up.   
  
"...IT'S COUNT D!" She exclaimed a second time, and lept up into the air, proceeding to glomp the vampiresque man. Count D blinked, then gave a small grin, proceeding to stroke the girl's head slightly.   
  
"You remind me of a small iguana I sold," the Count said, smiling. Leon blinked, and then pointed towards D.   
  
"That- that was the creature that killed him?" An angered Leon asked, then shook his head. "Wait, wait, wait. That- that was what the IGUANA looked like?" His eye twitched. "An iguana- looked like a girl... In point of fact, a girl that looks like- an IGUANA?!?"  
  
"...I remind you of an iguana?" Shadow queried. She stepped back and looked at Saberpilot, slightly weirded out.  
  
"I... I think we should go," she said, stepping back from the Count's embrace. Saber blinked, tilting her head to the side.  
  
"Why?"   
  
"...just get over here, you lummox," Shadow-chan said, quickly using Saberpilot's chibi ray on the Count before she activated the homing device on her DGT. Xellos raised an eyebrow as the lot of them were pulled into a large black hole.   
  
"...what was the point of all this?" he asked.  
  
No one answered the mazuko, so intent were they on escaping the dimension that had weirded out Shadow and Saber. The black abyss swallowed them whole, and left no traces of their presence behind.  
  
Leon pointed at the chibi Count before pausing to speak. No words came out from his mouth, and he turned to walk out the pet shop. He turned back to say something to the chibi D, but thought better of it, turning and exiting the pet shop without a second turn back.  
  
A small creature flew from the rafters and landed on Count D's shoulder, squeaking as it did. The chibi Count D smiled serenely. A black cloud blurred around him, making his form disappear within the smoke. Seconds later, the Count was full-size and his normal self again.  
  
"Yes, I agree. That was rather interesting," he murmured to the flying creature. Smiling, he walked back into the darker alleys of his pet shop, and he smiled, the little creature on his shoulder squeaking slightly.   
  
"That's right... those little girls don't need to know that her beam had no real effect on me. After all," he smiled, "it was quite fun," he added, then disappeared into the recesses. "I've never been a woman before. Maybe I should try it more often..."  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
"...that was the most pointless visit to another dimension we've had yet- and worse," Saber added, pointing a finger towards Shadow-chan, "I NEVER LAND ON ANYTHING SOFT!"   
  
The strawberry blonde had landed in Shadow-chan's room onto a pile of schoolbooks- hardcovers, to be exact, and she had no problem voicing her pain with a set of groans and moans.  
  
"I always land on something soft," Gene Starwind smiled, his grin cat-like. He'd directly fallen onto Shadow-chan's chest, much to the college student's mixed anger and embarrassment.  
  
"If you like this set," Shadow-chan growled, "THEN TRY THIS!" She yelled, picking up a dual set of sauce pans she had handy and proceeded to smack the redhaired chibi on the head. Quite hard.  
  
Once Gene had landed quite uncomfortably on the floor, Xellos walked over and poked the chibi, an eyebrow raised. After he was fully satisfied with the damage incurred, he gave Shadow-chan a wide grin.   
  
"Interesting usage of culinary items," he complimented.  
  
"Thanks," the brown-haired college student replied. She then noticed that Saber was no longer complaining about her aching head... in point of fact, she was nowhere near the pile of books she'd landed on. Shadow blinked her hazel eyes. "Um... Saber?"  
  
"Yes?" The blonde answered. Apparently she'd relocated towards the corner of the dorm room where Edward was, Vash and Wolfwood already next to her. The priest had no idea about what the girl was doing, but Vash already had an eyebrow raised at the college student. He didn't seem at all happy with what she was doing.   
  
"...what are you doing?" Shadow-chan asked, walking over towards where the blonde sat. Saberpilot growled whenever she approached and protectively hugged her laptop.   
  
"Wha...?" Shadow started, only to see Vash with a wink on his face and a smile on his lips. He pointed towards the computer, and Shadow-chan stamped her foot impatiently. "Saber, I'm warning you..."  
  
"Shadow?" the blonde asked in an innocent tone of voice. The brown-haired young woman raised an eyebrow.  
  
"...yes?"   
  
"...do you remember what I used to tell you I'd never do?" The blonde turned around and grinned cat-like at the younger college student.  
  
"Dance naked?" Gene asked, his ears perking up. Saberpilot face-vaulted, then shook her head.   
  
"No..."  
  
"What, Miss Stupid Genius?"   
  
"Well..." Saber started, then winked. "Let's just say Miss Forka's computer is going to be a little bit ornery whenever she next uses it."  
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"Saber programmed an AI into the computer's mainframe- one that DOESN'T like Janie," Vash added. He stared at Wolfwood's blank expression, and explained. "An AI- an artificial intelligence." The priest's expression was still blank.   
  
"Vash... I don't know how to tune anything up except my punisher and my motorcycle," Wolfwood pointed out. Vash smiled, sweatdropping. The computer girl Saberpilot held up a finger before Shadow-chan could query.   
  
"Basically," she started, "Miss Janie's computer is not going to help her in any way... whenever she does return to this dimension, she'll find that her computer eats term papers, makes MLA mistakes on essays... et cetera," she smiled.   
  
"You evil bitch!" Shadow-chan smiled, then laughed. "Oh God... you really do have an evil side- I'm so proud of you- what's the AI's name, anyways?"  
  
Saber's cat grin grew wider. "Kawaii Neko."  
  
Shadow-chan's slightly gleeful expression turned to one of disbelief. "You- you just didn't name that AI 'Kawaii Neko', did you? I was misunderstanding, right?"  
  
The blonde blinked, then turned to the floor, fingering circles in the linoleum. "No..." Alucard raised an eyebrow and looked up towards Shadow-chan.  
  
"What is matter with the term 'Ka-why Neeko'?" He asked.  
  
"...Saber, you ignorant slut!" Shadow-chan exclaimed, slapping her forehead, then sighing. The blue-gray eyed college freshman looked up towards Shadow-chan with a set of pleading eyes. Shadow-chan sighed, then answered Alucard.  
  
"It means... it means 'cute cat'," she explained.  
  
"What's wrong with that?" Saber pouted. She then typed up a quick command on her laptop of doom, revealing an image of a blonde, blue-eyed catgirl on the screen. Shadow-chan face vaulted, then waved the girl off, walking towards the door of her dorm room.  
  
"Where are you going?" Xellos asked.  
  
"...somewhere where there's less insanity," she muttered as she left the dorm room. Moments later, chibi Alucard disappeared in a fog of black smoke, apparently following the college student.   
  
"Why's she leaving if she wants less insanity?" Gene asked, looking towards Wolfwood and Xellos, both of whom sweatdropped at the outlaw's question. The priest turned around, shaking his head, and Xellos stopped him before he stalked off.  
  
"...do you think we should tell him?" He asked the priest.  
  
"...I still don't think he'd get it," Wolfwood murmured, glancing to see Saber and Vash giggling at the girl's newest creation before finally exiting towards the hallway.   
  
"God..."  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Well? What do you think? Have we lost our marbles entirely? I'd assume so, except that Shadow tells me I had no marbles to begin with. ^.^ Please read/review and tell us what you think! *hugs Vash, who gives a love and peace sign* 


	6. Side Quest 1

A/N: And now ladies and gentleman... a side quest.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
The sun was rising in the sky, but the shutter-blinds were drawn tightly shut, blocking all light, so the dorm room was cast in shades of grey and black. Saber, however, was awake, typing at her computer. And from the corner of her eye she noted a certain chibi vampire inching toward Shadow's sleeping place.  
  
"See something you like?" Saber inquired, not even looking away from the screen.  
  
"... a meal, nothing more," Alucard said, a little too quick and a little too forcefully.  
  
"You should really learn how to lie better," Saber grinned. "She probably won't mind if you climb onto the bed, just try not to jostle her too much."  
  
Alucard didn't respond. He simply returned to his corner. Saber shook her head and muttered, "And people say that I'm the stupid genius?"  
  
A while later Shadow woke up, and began to dig through her closet. "Saber, I think we need to do laundry."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I don't have any more jeans."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm gonna have to wear a skirt."  
  
"Really?" Saber asked with a hint of mischevious glee in her voice. Shadow cringed. "A skirt? On Shadow? Is the world coming to and end?"  
  
"Just my world," Shadow grumbled, pulling out a long black skirt. "Now... what shirt do I wear with this?"  
  
"I know the perfect thing!" Saber exclaimed. "And I know someone who would like it too."  
  
"Saber..." Shadow said warningly.  
  
"Trust me. When have I ever steered you wrong?"  
  
"Eh..."  
  
"Oh come on!" Saber insisted. "How often do you dress up?"  
  
"Never."  
  
"My point exactly." Saber pulled a green shirt out of Shadow's dresser and tossed it at the brown haired girl. "Alright, shower. I'm done already. We have to go to Wal-mart today, for those parts."  
  
"You mean I actually have to go out in public?!"  
  
"Uh... yeah," Saber grinned.   
  
"I hate life." She left the room and when she returned later, she entered the room very grudgingly. The skirt was long, black, and flowy, ending at her ankles. The shirt was a halter top, that ended at her waist and tied around her neck, showing off her shoulders and neck.  
  
"Saber?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can I kill you?"  
  
"No. Besides, you look really nice in that!"  
  
"I look like a fruitcake."  
  
"If you're a fruitcake then cut me a slice!" Gene exclaimed with a cat-like grin. Shadow proceeded to kick him across the room. "Ow..."  
  
"Just because I'm in a skirt doesn't mean I can't kick your ass, Gene Starwind. Remember that."  
  
"Yes Ma'am..."  
  
Vash, Wolfwood, and Xellos were attempting to pry their jaws off of the ground.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Shadow growled.  
  
"Now, Miss Shadow, please take no offense when I say this," Wolfwood began charmingly. "But you look... well, you look... er..."  
  
"I look like I normally do," Shadow said forcefully.  
  
"You do not-"  
  
"Up, all of you!" Shadow interrupted. "We have errands to run. Now!"  
  
"Do you think we can hide the rest of her clothes to make her dress like this more often?" Gene inquired as they were herded out the door between the two women.  
  
"I'm already thinking of places to hide them," Xellos agreed, though his reasons were different. He realized that having to wear a dress irked Shadow, and if he could repeat the effect, then it would be very amusing indeed.  
  
"Shadow?" Saber asked as the group walked out into the parking lot. "How are we getting to Wal-mart?"  
  
"Didn't I tell you?" Shadow asked, revealing a set of car keys. "I got my license over break."  
  
"Why... does this scare me?" Saber wondered as Shadow led the group to a breat up looking station wagon.  
  
"Any comments about the car and you'll be riding in the trunk," Shadow warned.  
  
"Your car is as detestible as your room," Alucard snarled, noting the inside of the vehicle. Sure enough, the inside was very cluttered, but with a different sort of junk. Boots, pants, and a bunker coat lay across the back seat and an air pack sat on the floor. In the back was a tool box filled with what looked like some basic medical gear and a box of latex gloves.  
  
"What is all this stuff?" Vash asked.  
  
"Fire and EMS gear," Shadow replied. "I'm a member of the fire department back home, but I keep my gear with me. Just toss it into the back, but be careful with the air pack, it's full."  
  
The chibis shifted the gear so that it rode in the very back of the car and piled into the seats while Saber took the passenger seat. Shadow slid into the driver's seat and started the car, grinning. With the squeal of rubber on pavement she peeled out of the driveway and down the road.  
  
"I thought you said you knew how to drive!" Saber yelped, buckling her seatbelt.   
  
"I do," Shadow replied in a hurt tone. She then grinned. "Want to see me drive badly? I can do that, too..."  
  
"THIS IS NOT DRIVING BADLY?" Saber asked, holding onto her seatbelt with one arm and bracing herself with the other.  
  
"...no," Shadow-chan answered innocently.  
  
"Vash, remind me HOW THE HELL we got caught up in this mess!" Wolfwood screeched from the back seat.  
  
"I don't know about you, but this is quite amusing," Xellos smiled, sitting with an air of comfortableness on his seat. He looked out the window and the spreading debris falling behind them with a gentle grin.  
  
"...um... Shadow?" Vash asked of the driver, holding onto Saber's seat so as not to lose his balance, or breakfast.   
  
"Yes, Vash?" The driver asked, not looking back, her eyes on the road, like the 'good' driver she was.   
  
"...is the stuff in the back seat supposed to fly out the window like that?"  
  
"...WHAT?!?!" Shadow-chan slammed on the brakes, screeching to a side of the road so that she wouldn't get into an accident. She turned and looked back into the rear seat. Half of her EMT equipment was gone.   
  
"WHAT THE HELL!?!"  
  
"It flew quite nicely. It was very entertaining," the violet-haired chibi smiled, his grin serene. Saberpilot shrunk into her seat, knowing what was coming. Vash and the other chibis scooted away from Xellos, leaving the chibi sitting right in front of the nearly-nuclear Shadow.   
  
"...XELLOS!!!!"  
  
...needless to say, five minutes and a great many bruises later, the chibi Xellos now knew what the human term for 'pain' meant. As well as the human term for 'cleaning'.   
  
"...you didn't have to tie me up," he complained. Shadow-chan, after his initial punishment, had duct-taped the chibi to the back seat... right between the squishing EMT gear.  
  
"It was necessary," the college student huffed, keeping her eyes on the road. Saberpilot nervously watched as the road moved faster and faster behind them, her counterpart speeding up... quite quickly. Shadow then grinned and gave him a quick look.  
  
"Besides," she smiled, "the duct tape needed to be used. It's been sitting back there for five years and I've never used it."  
  
"...remind me never to tell you that things are being wasted," Saber muttered.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, the duo of college students and quintet of chibis jumped out of the car... Xellos needing help in the escape department before he could exit the vehicle.   
  
"But it was entertaining," he remarked as Shadow-chan ripped the tape off of his body. She gave him a look, then placed a piece of the tape back onto his mouth.  
  
"I'll take it off whenever you say you're sorry."  
  
Xellos remained quiet for a second, then a muffled noise came out. Shadow grinned.  
  
"What was that? I can't hear you!"  
  
Wolfwood shook his head. "Evil, thy name is woman."  
  
"With duct tape," Vash added, giving a victory sign. Wolfwood threw the chibi a loathing glance.  
  
"Well, now," Saberpilot started, pulling out a list from her pocket and holding it out in front of her. She looked about the parking lot, then pointed towards the large building in front of them. "We've got a lot of shopping to do... especially if we want to find a way to reverse this ray gun of mine," she grinned, pulling it out and rubbing it affectionatly against her cheek.  
  
"And you say I love my weapons too much..." Wolfwood groaned.  
  
"In any case," the blonde continued. "We need the following items," she said, holding the list out in front of the others. The paper rolled out like a scroll, and Shadow-chan peered down at the list, picking part of it off the ground. She read a few of the items, then raised an eyebrow to Saber.  
  
"...we need 5 pipe cleaners because...?"  
  
"To stabilize the inside- they're not actually components, but in order to regulate the wires' positive and negative feedback electric currents-"  
  
"Okay, okay, we get the picture, Miss Einstein!" Shadow-chan said, rubbing her forehead in mock pain. "Let's get going, shall we?"  
  
"...can I create chaos in this place?" Xellos asked Shadow. The college student raised an eyebrow.  
  
"How'd you get your duct tape off?"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Okay, we've got the pipe cleaners, the switch, the rubber bands, half a foot of copper wire and-" Saber was rattling items off of her list when she noticed that she wasn't getting a response. She looked up from the paper and cart and noticed that the chibis, minus Xellos, were standing by, and Shadow was missing as well. "Where did they go?"  
  
All of the chibis pointed in the same direction, an area that had a bunch of circular clothing racks. As a few people walked by Saber heard a:  
  
"Pick me! Pick me!"  
  
"No, pick me, I insist!"  
  
The people exhanged frightened glances and hurried off away from the rack of sweaters.  
  
Saber stalked over to the rack, pushed some sweaters aside, and found Shadow and Xellos crouching in the center.  
  
"Ye-es?" Shadow asked with a sly grin.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Saber inquired in a stern mother-like voice.  
  
"Amusing ourselves by frightening the humans," Xellos replied with a wicked grin.  
  
"Out of the rack. NOW."  
  
"Fine, fine," Shadow sighed, climbing out of the rack. Scanning the isles she caught sight of a group of boys standing haphazardly around their groccery cart and her eyes narrowed as an evil grin spread across the brown haired collegiate's face.   
  
"Excellent," she cooed, stifling an evil chuckle. "Saber, I'll... er... I'll be right back."  
  
"Behave," Saber warned.  
  
"Of course!" Shadow replied, pretending to be offended. "When do I not behave?"  
  
"Were you just hiding inside a sweater rack?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I rest my case."  
  
Shadow jogged down an isle, and out of sight of Saber, who sighed and herded Xellos back to the others. They'd continue shopping while Shadow went off and did... whatever it was she was going to do. At least one group would get something productive done.  
  
A while later Shadow returned to the group, a rather large grin on her face.  
  
"What did you do?" Saber queried.  
  
"Oh, nothing worth mentioning," Shadow replied with a cat-like grin. The others all looked at her curiously, but Shadow wouldn't say. She just wore her grin smugly, like a cat that had gotten into the cream. And that was that.  
  
"Has anyone told you that you are insanely evil?" Wolfwood asked after watching Shadow scare yet another couple. This time it had been an elderly pair buying cereal and Shadow had grossed them out with loudly dropped random facts about bugs and other such things that were inside the products they were buying.  
  
"Several times, actually," Shadow-chan replied happily.  
  
"Doesn't it frighten you that you put your immortal soul in danger?" Wolfwood queried.  
  
"I doubt that having a little fun while Saber does her shopping is putting my immortal soul in danger."  
  
"I wasn't aware that you had a soul left," Saber cut in with a giggle. "Considering that you lost it to me at poker last week."  
  
"Did I?" Saber nodded. "Ah, well, in that case, priest, ask her about my immortal soul."  
  
"You placed your soul in a game of poker?!?" Wolfwood screeched, dumbfounded.  
  
"Uh... yeah?"  
  
"How could you do such a thing?" Wolfwood asked in shock. "I mean- it's your immortal soul. Aren't you afraid you're going to wind up in hell?!? Don't you like the idea of Heaven?!?"  
  
"In the immortal words of Mik-chan: Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'm going to take over," Shadow grinned.  
  
"Who's Mik-chan?" Vash inquired.  
  
"An awesome psycho writer who is a hundred times more insane then I'll ever be," Shadow sighed. "God I love her." The college student stopped mid-step, having spotted another elderly couple. "Ooh, next victims-"  
  
"No, Shadow, it's time to check out now!" Saber interupted, grabbing Shadow by the collar. "It's time to go."  
  
"Awww, fine," Shadow grumbled, her shoulders slumping slightly. As they headed toward the check-out aisle Shadow spotted a dark berry coloured dress of decent style and cut. "Saber would look awesome in that," she murmured to herself. "She's just the right height for it too; it would look too short on me." The college student grinned.   
  
"Saber!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Shadow pulled the dress off of the rack and held it up for the blonde to inspect. "You would look awesome in this. Try it on."  
  
"Only if you try it on too," the shrewd Saberpilot answered.  
  
"No way. One, I look bad in dresses, and two- berry is not my color, at all."  
  
"But you're wearing a dress now," Vash pointed out.  
  
"It's long and not nearly as tight as this will be," Shadow argued.  
  
"Look, here's a green one," Saber said, finding one in Shadow's size and handing it to her. "I'll only try this on if you will. Otherwise, no deal."  
  
"Fine, fine," Shadow grumbled, taking the dress. They both disappeared into the dressing room, leaving the chibis waiting with the cart. Saber was the first to come out, the dress's high neck and three-quarter length sleeves giving it a conservative yet elegant look. The hem reached to right above her knees and the berry colour set off both her eyes and her hair.  
  
"You... you look very nice!" Vash exclaimed. Both he and Saber turned pink at the cheeks.  
  
"Where's Shadow?" Xellos questioned. "I want to see her pained expression."  
  
"Shadow?" Saber called.  
  
"I'm not coming out!" came the grumbling response.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I look like a freak."  
  
"You do not, now get out here before I send Gene in to get you."  
  
"All right!" Gene cheered, then was disappointed when his hopes fell through..  
  
The dressing room door opened and Shadow stalked out, wearing the dress as it was supposed to be... short. The hem reached about four inches above the knee, showing off Shadow's lightly tanned legs. The slimmed neck was high and the sleeves were the same as Saber's. The green fabric brought out the emerald that shone in Shadow's eyes. All of the chibis' eyes widened as they stared at her.  
  
"You... you... you..." Gene stuttered, tongue tied.  
  
"You're... you're..." Wolfwood stammered, trying to find the words. Alucard wasn't even trying, he just stared at her behind his red shades, his normal form of dignified expression dropped for the moment. Xellos wore a smug look.  
  
"I knew I looked stupid in this!" Shadow hissed. "And none of you even have the guts to tell me about it! Grrrr...." She stormed back into the changing room, changed out of the dress and back into her other clothing, then returned the dress to the rack without saying a word to anyone. She steered the cart to the front of the store, leaving the others behind.  
  
"Saber?" Vash inquired. "Is she always like that?"  
  
"Yes. She's just thick skulled when it comes to her appearance and what should have been compliments," Saber answered. "She'll get over it."  
  
"Oh," the blonde haired chibi said, then pointed both of his index fingers together, trying not to seem nervous. "You know," he pointed out, "it wouldn't be a bad idea to buy that dress." Saber looked down at him, then realized with a blush that she was still wearing the berry red dress.  
  
"I- uh..."   
  
"SABER! Don't take all day- we came here for YOU, remember?" A rather agitated Shadow's voice screeched through the alleys of the Wal-Mart. Saberpilot ducked impulsively. She gave the shortened Vash an apologetic expression.  
  
"Tell you what," she smiled before entering the changing room, "You want to be my guinea pig and find out if I can get that ray of mine to turn you back into full-size?" She entered the stall, changing inside while she waited for the chibi's answer.  
  
"Well... won't that compromise the entire mission that you've put forth?" Vash asked, placing gloved hand on his chin. "I thought you only made us this way so that wouldn't be hit by that anti-bishonen thing."  
  
"That's true," the muffled response came through the stall door. "But- if Janie's hopping all over the dimensions, which I believe she is, since she doesn't have a homing beacon," Saber continued, "then I think we can afford to have you full size for periods of time." Finished changing, she peeked around the door. "Wouldn't you like that?" Her eyes seemed slightly pleading for some reason.  
  
"Well, I guess it'd be-" Vash started after a moment, only to be cut off by a chibi priest grabbing him from behind- around the shoulders, to be exact.  
  
"Are you to doing something in here that we should know about, needle noggin?" He asked, his tone of voice slightly suggestive. The blonde gunner went a beet red, as well as Saber. Shadow-chan walked in after the priest, and shook her finger at the college student.  
  
"Shouldn't you two have a private room for that?" She winked.  
  
"Uhhh..." Saber could not seem to form words with her mouth.  
  
"'Yeah, thought so. Come on, lover-boy, let's leave her in peace." Shadow grabbed Vash by the collar and steered him out towards the other chibis. "We'll see you at the check-out line."  
  
When Saber finally joined the rest of the group the cashier had just finished ringing up the last of the items. "And your total comes to fifty-five dollars and twenty-three cents." Saber dished out her money, grumbling slightly as she did so. "Have a nice day."  
  
"Okay, let's go now, we need to finish this," Saber said cheerfully.   
  
They were just about to walk out the door when a little old lady approached Saber and Shadow, smiling.   
  
"I just wanted to say, Miss," the old lady began, looking at Shadow, "that your children are adorable." Then she turned to Saber. "You must be proud of having such darling brothers."  
  
"Shadow, no," Vash whispered, holding the brown-haired girl back. "She's elderly, forgive her..."  
  
"Thank you, Ma'am," Shadow said through gritted teeth. "They... take after their dad's side of the family. Come along dears, we have more errands to run."  
  
"Yes mother," Xellos replied slyly, watching as the girl battled eternally for control of the situation.  
  
Shadow gave the old woman a very strained smile, then with the help of Saber, herded the chibis out to the car. "Why do people think that they're my children? Do I honestly look that old?"  
  
"...maybe?" Saber tried. "It's better than looking younger. She thought I was your daughter! She was probably half blind."  
  
"...old bat..."  
  
***************************************************  
  
"Is it fixed yet?" Gene asked Saber, who was sitting at Shadow's desk tinkering with the chibi ray.  
  
"No," Shadow answered for the blonde.  
  
"Is it done now?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Gene, I swear - "  
  
"Keep your socks on," Gene grumbled.  
  
Shadow rolled her eyes. "What makes you think we'll turn you back to normal anyways. You weren't selected for the guinea pig process."  
  
"Who was?" Wolfwood asked.  
  
"Vash," Shadow chirped, grinning at Saber.  
  
"Hey-" Gene protested, only to recieve a whack on the head before he could say anything more.  
  
"Don't argue."  
  
"I'm done!" Saber announced, holding up the modified ray gun. "Let's give it a test drive, shall we?" Shadow shoved Vash forward with a grin, giving the blonde gunner a wink. "Ready?"  
  
"Y-yes?"  
  
Saber flipped a switch, then fired the chibi ray at Vash, who grew back to his normal height. "It worked!" Saber exclaimed, giving the red-clad man a hug. Vash tinged pink at the cheeks, hugging Saber back shyly.  
  
"Someone has a love interest," Shadow called lazily from her bed. Saber blushed crimson, as did Vash and the two quickly seperated. Saber, however, saw her chance to get back at Shadow and lifted Alucard off the ground, tossing the vampire onto the brown haired college student. The vampire landed so that his lips met Shadow's and the two stared at each other, frozen.  
  
"I have a love interest?" Saber grinned.  
  
Shadow shoved Alucard off the bed and sat up, glaring at Saber. "I'm going to-"  
  
"Ye-es?" Saber asked with a cat-like grin. Shadow lunged playfully at the blonde girl, who dodged the attack, still grinning.  
  
Wolfwood watched the exchange, wondering if it was going to end any time soon. "Are either of them really trying to strike each other?"  
  
"It doesn't look like it," Gene sighed. "Darn."   
  
The two girls circled each other, and Saber ran at Shadow, who moved out of the way, sticking her foot out to trip the blonde, grabbing the chibi ray at the same time. Saber tripped and Vash ran to catch her, just Shadow fired the chibi ray. When the light cleared a chibi Saber and a chibi Vash stood, lips touching. Both of them turned a bright shade of scarlet, embarrassed beyond belief.  
  
"Payback's a bitch," Shadow grinned.  
  
"SHADOW!"  
  
*************************************************************************************************************  
  
A/N: And thus ends side quest one. C&C! 


	7. Hell is Spelled Hinata

A/N: Chibi files, anyone? No, really- chibi files, anyone? We sure as **** like them! I mean- what I meant to say is that we sure as **** like them. *looks at previous sentence, and calls in muses for meeting*   
  
Saberpilot: Is there any particular reason that you've started bleeping out my thought and writing processes?   
  
Genesis & Verdell: Well... the FDA said that it wasn't a good idea for you to swear so much.  
  
Shadow-chan: Mr. Giggles? Why is the FOOD and DRUG ADMINISTRATION have a problem with our swearing?  
  
Mr. Giggles: ...  
  
Saberpilot: In any case, let's get onto the fic. You understand me? Verdell, Genesis, Mr. Giggles? Not one more case of bleeping, you f******* a*******! Now, *faces audience* Onto the show.  
  
Muses: ...  
  
******************************************************************************************  
  
"Circles and bubbles, circles are pretty- a tasty wonderland, just like black gravy-" the college student known as Saberpilot sang softly as she typed away on her laptop, known as Radical Edward, for more than social purposes. The little piece of machinery was a top-notch computer, over 100 gigabytes in its little memory banks... not to mention, it had one of the best hacking programs ever created.  
  
The blonde college student had decided to stay in her own dorm room for the past few hours, Shadow-chan sensing that the girl had needed a break from the business of the chibis and herself. After all, a single child could only stand being in the presence of six other people for only so long...  
  
"There we go," Saber sighed, typing a final keystroke and sitting back, feeling accomplished. She'd just finished taking care of the new AI she'd programmed into the evil genius Janie Forka's computer, named Kawaii Neko for... personal reasons. The AI, or artificial intelligence, was now fully equipped and programmed, prepared to create all sorts of mechanical problems for the pokemon otaku.  
  
The blonde finally fell onto her back, unable to maintain her sitting position for long. Smiling, she laid there with her arms stretched on top of her head, then finally worked up the energy to sit up. When she did, she picked up and examined her weapon of choice, the chibi ray she'd invented to fight against Janie's ideals of pokemon corruption. So far, it had been her best friend in the long-coming war. Although... Vash was becoming more of a friend; she blushed and thought.  
  
Placing it aside, Saber picked up the DGT she'd been lent from Shadow-chan and examined it. It was still hard to believe that Shadow had made the thing, to be honest. The girl who still asked Saber to program the VCR.   
  
Sighing, Saber stretched with her right arm and picked up a nearby electrical picking tool, trying to open the casing without scratching any of it. As she did so, her fingers slipped, accidently pressing the transport button.  
  
"Oops," the girl blinked as she was transported outside of the Earth Prime universe.  
  
******************************************************************************************  
  
"Come inside and purchase one! They're great for the family- excellent cooks, and pleasant conversationalists!" A voice spoke just outside of Saber's hearing. The blonde shook her head, trying to rattle out what little brains she had left into usage.  
  
"What the..." she started, then looked down at the DGT. She furrowed her strawberry blonde eyebrows.   
  
"Must've activated it by accident," she sighed, then stood up and brushed herself off. She'd been transported into some sort of back storage room, she gathered, from the amount of boxes that littered her surroundings. Cracking her neck, the college student picked off a few pieces of fuzz that had stubbornly fought to stay on her shirt, then focused.  
  
Boxes littered her surroundings, and if she concentrated, she could hear that voice again.  
  
"You must come inside- the newest models have just come in, and it'd be just delightful if you came in and saw them!" the voice continued. Saber closed her eyes, then analyzed the voice.  
  
"Female. Definately female. But it doesn't sound like anyone that I'd know," Saber said. The blonde then laughed, kneeling down to pick up the DGT.   
  
"Can't forget this-" she giggled, then bit her lip when she realized she'd gotten the attention of someone outside, as obvious by the noises outside.   
  
"Someone's in there- Deta, can you check to see who that is? I didn't let anyone into the back storage room, so one of the units must have accidently activated." The male voice disappeared into the background.  
  
"Certainly, sir," the female voice from earlier answered. Saber looked around her, trying to locate a place to hide. She scurried about her surroundings, picking up anything and everything. When presented with the choice of a lampstand as a hiding object, she slapped herself in the forehead, and laughed.  
  
"If Shadow could only see me now," she smirked, then put both her hands over her mouth. The doorknob to the back storage office started to turn, and the blonde panicked. Placing a hand on a nearby box, she frantically found the homing device on the DGT, pressing the button as quickly as possible.  
  
"Gotta get out of here. Gotta get out of here..." the girl said, as the DGT started to activate. To Saber's eyes it took forever, as the doorknob seemed to move faster than the black abyss coming to collect her back to her dimension.  
  
"HURRY UP!" She yelled at the creation. The blonde panicked and hid behind a nearby brown cardboard box, placing both hands in front of her as the black hole created by the device swallowed her and it.   
  
Seconds later, a young woman with an artificial stride to her step opened the doorknob only to find nothing amiss. The woman blinked, not from surprise, but from puzzlement. Looking about the room, she saw nothing out of the ordinary.   
  
"Deta- Deta, come back here- these two young folks would like to purchase you-" the voice from the background returned. It returned to its two customers. "She's an excellent persocom- very gentle, and great with children. She's also got in a built in taxes package-"  
  
The woman nodded, receiving the order and obeying. When she closed the door, however, she didn't seem to notice that one of the large brown boxes was missing... along with the source of noise.  
  
******************************************************************************************  
  
Saber huffed as she fell onto her dorm room floor, thankful that she'd been sitting on a pillow whenever she'd been typing. Very thankful. Because she fell directly on it.   
  
"Oh my God- oh my God-" Saber collapsed onto the ground, her arms as stretched as they'd been earlier. The blonde felt as though she'd just been through a dozen marathons, so much of her energy had been burnt from worrying about being caught.  
  
A few minutes later, the girl had recovered enough to realize that she'd brought the cardboard box back with her by accident. Saber grimaced.   
  
"...I can't take it back," she nervously said aloud, scratching the back of her head. "I have NO idea where I was..." She stood up and inspected the package, which was a bit taller than the blonde in height and approximately two feet wide. Saberpilot scratched the back of her head, and sighed.  
  
"Well... if it's toxic waste, then I'm already doomed. If it's a bomb, I'm already doomed. So, why not open it?" the blonde contemplated. Shrugging, she looked on the sides of the box and nodded, ripping off one of the sides. What she saw inside made her eyes nearly pop out of her head.  
  
"It's... is she dead?" The collegiate queried, blinking.  
  
Inside the box stood a girl with light red hair. On either side of her face, two large plastic attachments pronounced themselves, white with light red dots in the middle. Her skin was lightly tanned, and from the look of it, she appeared to be approximately Saber's 'reputated' age of fifteen.   
  
The college student reached out with a tentative hand and touched the girl's arm to make sure that she was alive, and not dead. When she did, the girl's eyes sparked open, revealing two eyes of a deep blue hue. Saber jumped back, afraid.  
  
"Series number 44807-XXE. Unit name: Kos-mos. OS System- OS System-" The girl paused in the middle of her train of words, then continued. "OS System not installed. See unit distributer for assistance."   
  
With that, the girl's eyes opened and closed, and her mouth shut, her speech finished. Saber stood up and inspected the girl, poking her first on the arm, then the nose. The unit looked down and blinked, but no other response was obvious. The blonde stood back and scratched her head for a moment, then snapped her fingers.   
  
"Okay, okay- let me get this straight, Miss Kos-Mos 448, whatever," she started. "You... I'm guessing that you are a... a robot?"  
  
"Robot is not what I am designated as, Miss," the strange female answered. "My designer did not wish me to uphold the three laws of robotics. Instead, I am referred to as a persocom."  
  
"A... A PERSOCOM?!?" Saber asked, then fell back onto the ground once again, blinking. She pointed at the oddly-eared girl. "You're-you're a persocom?"  
  
Blue eyes stared back at her. "Correct."  
  
Saber searched inwardly for a moment before a small grin came to her face. "And- you said that there was no current OS, correct?"  
  
"Correct."  
  
The computer girl suddenly gave a loud whoop of joy and stood up. She pulled the persocom out from the cardboard box and motioned for the creature to sit down. Seconds later, she had the light red haired persocom hooked up to her laptop via the 'girl's' connection ports. Saber rubbed her hands together in anticipation.   
  
"Wait until Shadow-chan gets a load of this," she smiled, then set about typing. This was going to be fun.  
  
******************************************************************************************  
  
"So, this person that you're fighting... her name's- let me get this straight- Janie Forka?" A young man queried Shadow-chan, the former escorting the young college woman to her dorm room. Shadow nodded, and her companion choked slightly on the horrible name.  
  
"Right- unfortunately, my sister's joined up with her," she continued, stopping in front of her dorm room.   
  
"So... how exactly are you fighting this girl?" the young man asked. "It doesn't sound as if she'd be the kind you'd kill- I mean, what she's doing is horrible, no doubt, but-"  
  
"You know Saber," Shadow-chan shrugged. "Pacifist to the bone. Besides, we can't punish her for being an otaku- what we're punishing her for is being a Pokemon otaku who thinks she can rule the world using Pokemon." Suddenly, it occured to her that she hadn't answered her friend's question.  
  
"How we're fighting her- and this is Saber's idea- is by turning bishonen into chibis-" Shadow started, opening her door, only to nearly faint at what she found inside.   
  
The chibis previously collected by Shadow-chan and Saberpilot were sitting in the middle of the college student's room. On the floor. The CLEAN floor.   
  
"Surprise!" a cheerful Saberpilot announced from behind the door, waving her hands in the air. Seconds later, she pulled an unfamiliar red-haired girl into view, the girl's expression rather timid. Shadow-chan went from a near-death-faint to a raging lunatic in point five seconds, standing up and lunging at the blonde college student.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM, SABERPILOT?" the brown-haired young woman screeched as she pinned the girl to the (now clean) floor. Shadow's friend stepped over the pair, coming in to inspect the premesis. Alucard raised an eyebrow at the new arrival.  
  
"What, or who, are you?" he queried.  
  
"Oh great. Not only am I surrounded by bishonen, I'm surrounded by obnoxious chibi ones," the young man answered, sighing and plopping down in a nearby (and clean!) chair.   
  
"Excuse me? Obnoxious chibi?" Xellos asked, crossing his arms. "Some of us didn't choose to be shrunk to under three handspans in height."  
  
"No, but you chose to be born, didn't you?" the young man sarcastically quipped.  
  
"...who the hell are you?" Wolfwood asked, standing up and giving the man a hard look. "Are you some sort of sick freak who likes laughing at others' misfortune?" He picked up his chibi punisher and held it ready. The young man did not seem phased in the least. The two girls continued to argue in the background, oblivious to the mens' conversation.  
  
"Calm down, preacher," the young man stated, raising an eyebrow in slight annoyance. "The name's Hildebrant. I'm a friend of Shadow-chan's."  
  
"And Miss Saberpilot?" Vash added in. "Are you a friend of hers, too?"  
  
"You could say that," the man added. He put his hand on his forehead, the noise level coming to an overburdening height. Hildebrant finally stood up and yelled.   
  
"Come on, now, you two- you're acting like a bunch of children," he said. Both girls stopped, mid-attack. Saber's right arm had been already formed into a low spearhand, while Shadow's right was aimed in a fisted punch towards the blonde's head. Both of them looked at the other and sweatdropped enormously.   
  
"Um..." Shadow-chan started, letting Saber get up, the blonde rubbing the back of her neck in pain. "Sorry, Saber- I just- it was such a shock, seeing my room like this, and all my stuff... I liked it where it was..." She started, then coughed and began again. "What I mean is that-"  
  
"I'm sorry," Saber grinned, slightly embarrassed. "I wasn't thinking. I just- I had to try out Kos-mos here-"  
  
"Kos-mos?" Shadow-chan asked. It was then that she followed Saber's pointed finger towards the redheaded young woman with the oddly shaped ears. "What- who- I-"  
  
"You know," the man named Hildebrant added, shaking his finger as he thought, "if it weren't for the fact that I know I'm not dreaming, I'd say that looked exactly like a persocom."  
  
"Well," Saber started, looking down towards her feet while she still sat on the floor. Shadow-chan raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Explanation. NOW."  
  
"Well, I was kind of looking at the DGT, you know, like you said I could," the blonde started, "When I kind of... accidentlypressedthetransportbuttonandnearlygotcaughtbutshecamebackwithme." The girl seemed out of breath after the last verbal transaction.  
  
"Huh?" Shadow blinked.  
  
"What Miss Saberpilot means to say," the persocom started, smiling and coming back from her corner, "is that she accidently brought me along whenever she transported herself back to this dimension."  
  
"...may I ask how the hell you were able to afford a persocom?" the brown-haired collegiate queried. "Last I checked, you could barely afford to do your laundry every two weeks."  
  
"Well, um..."  
  
"I don't care how she was paid for, she can stay!" Gene Starwind quipped from his location on the floor. Hildebrant raised an eyebrow, then looked towards Shadow-chan.   
  
"What is HE doing here? Last I checked, redheaded space idiots weren't bishonen."  
  
"Saber insisted on bringing him," Shadow-chan interupted her rant on the blonde, then continued. "Well, nerf-herder?"  
  
"...It was an accident?" Saber squeaked. "Truly- I'm not lying," she pleaded. "Whenever I was leaving the universe, I accidently brought her along- I'm sorry!" She said, bowing to her friend.   
  
"You, I forgive," Shadow said to the college student, then turned her glare to Kos-mos. "You. You cleaned my room. How will I ever find anything now?!"  
  
"It's simple," the persocom motioned, pulling out the drawer on Shadow's desk. All the pencils, pens, and various utensils were placed in an orderly fashion. "Everything is organized alphabetically."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Shadow sobbed, kneeling to the ground and placing her hands on her face. "Evil- she's evil, I tell you!"  
  
"Shadow, it's just a clean room," Hildebrant pointed out non-chalantly. "Not exactly the end of the world-"  
  
"But it's MY room," Shadow insisted. "I could understand if she just packed up the laundry, or swept, but did she have to re-arrange everything as well?" The brown-haired student looked completely lost in her re-arranged quarters.  
  
"Um... well, you do have a point," Hildebrant agreed. He looked down at the chibis, who were still watching him with curiousity. "Er... Shadow? I'll be right back. I have to take care of something real quick, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, that's fine." The brown girl stood up and waited at the doorway for the young man. When he reached it, the two of them hugged and then Hildebrant left, shutting the door behind him.  
  
"Someone has a love interest," Gene catcalled lecherously.  
  
"Do not," Shadow denied.  
  
"Oh, and she's in denial," Wolfwood added with a grin. "Care to make a confession? On the house..." The priest pulled out a chibi version of his confessional.  
  
"He is NOT a love interest."  
  
"Then why are you blushing?" Alucard inquired, a bit hotly. Vash and the other chibis raised their eyebrows in interest.  
  
"I think someone is jealous," Gene whispered to the chibi priest. Wolfwood nodded.  
  
"Sounds correct to me."  
  
"HE IS NOT A LOVE INTEREST!" Shadow-chan yelled, a little bit too forcefully. Saber, who had been silent all this time, keeled back from the kinetic energy that the brown-haired student's yell created.  
  
"Not so loud- you're going to kill my eardrums," Saber moaned. She cleaned out her right ear with a finger, then shook her head. "I need these things to hear, you know." Suddenly, the blonde gasped, and let out a small giggle.  
  
"You like him, don't you?"  
  
"...is she always this slow?" Wolfwood asked a nearly-boiling Shadow-chan. The college student's right eyebrow twitched.  
  
"SABERPILOT-"  
  
"Eep!" The girl dodged away from the impending doom of Shadow's attack, falling onto a nearby chair, which catapulted Gene smack dab in the middle of Kos-mos's chest.   
  
"...Mmmmmm..." the chibi responded, a few seconds passing before he decided to enjoy the fruit of accidental blows. The persocom stared at him, unsure of exactly what he was doing. Shadow-chan, noticing the chibi's advantageous position, delegated her anger from Saber towards the redhead, and pried him away from Kos-mos.   
  
"She may be evil, but she doesn't deserve THAT," Shadow-chan growled to the outlaw, who gulped visibly. Just then, the door opened, revealing a slightly panting Hildebrant.   
  
"Is..." *wheeze* "everything all right?" He asked, out of breath. "I... heard noises."  
  
"Huh?" Shadow-chan asked, turning slightly pink. "Uh-um..."  
  
Gene took this opportunity to figure out how to get back to his lofty position at Kos-mos's chest. The persocom tilted her head to the side.  
  
"What are you doing, Master Starwind?"  
  
"MASTER Starwind? Oh, I like this!" The chibi cooed against her bosom, Kos-mos's blue eyes blinking in puzzlement. Shadow-chan overheard the chibi's sighs of contentment and reverted back into her attack mode.  
  
"Why you little-" she started, only to crash to the floor, accidently pressing the activation button on the DGT whenever she fell. No one found out what the next words out of her mouth were, as she and the others were sucked away into a black hole.  
  
******************************************************************************************  
  
"See? The answer's easy to come by once you do this," a girl in glasses pointed out to a young man who sat next to her. The young man's forehead seemed to be soaked in sweat as he concentrated on the problem. Finally, he placed his pencil on the table and fell backwards, his head making an awful thud as he fell.  
  
"Keitaro," the girl complained, waving a pencil at him smartly, "You're never going to get into Tokyo U if you keep this up."  
  
"I can't help it, Naru," the young man whimpered. "This English is too hard..."  
  
"It is not too hard," the girl snapped. "YOU'RE just too stupid."  
  
"I am not stupid," the young man said, sitting up, his hands clenched into fists.  
  
"Are too!"  
  
"Am not-"  
  
"Guys, what's going on?" a blue-haired pre-teen asked, slipping her head quietly inside the door frame. Her wide blue eyes beheld the two, Naru and Keitaro, both about to, as it looked like, pummel each other. At the sight of the younger female, both dropped their offensive postures.  
  
"Nothing- nothing's wrong, Shinobu," the girl with the glasses answered, taking her eyewear off delicately to smile at the younger girl. "Keitaro and I were just having a difference of opinion on this one problem."  
  
"Problem?" A dark-skinned girl popped in from the ceiling, hre black hair pointed towards the floor. She smiled. "Where problem?"  
  
"Not now, Su," Shinobu cautioned, placing a finger against her lips. "These two were fighting-"  
  
"We were NOT fighting," Naru commented, crossing her arms. "I told you. We were just having a difference of opinion."  
  
"I wasn't aware that having a difference of opinion required someone to physically threaten-" suddenly the young man cut off as he saw a female in traditional kimono garb walk by. The girl, her black hair laid out on her shoulders, stopped when she heard the voices halt.  
  
Stepping into the room, she nodded to Naru, Shinobu, and Su, then held out her katana towards the young man. Her eyes turned to slits.   
  
"What was going on in here?"  
  
"Nothing!" The man yelped, holding out his palms towards her. "Honestly, it was noth-"  
  
Keitaro was not able to finish his statement, however, as a large black hole opened up in the ceiling next to Su, the dark skinned girl seeming fascinated by the object.  
  
"Get out of the way-" the samurai-like girl cautioned, scooping up Naru and Shinobu... but conveniently leaving Keitaro behind, to be crushed by the group of people that fell out of the black hole.  
  
"OUCH!" A female voice yelped as it fell directly on top of the young man, then happened to be crushed by another fallen body- this one a small, red-clothed one. The contents finally stopped falling, and the black hole closed.  
  
"...this hurts, yes. BUT COULD YOU STOP YELLING IN MY EAR?" Another female voice yelled, silencing the first one, which appeared to belong to a blonde teenager.   
  
"But- but-"  
  
"Where the hell are we?" A male voice added into the fray. Fortunately, it seemed as though he'd been the one most outside the pile of people, and it made him lucky- he'd landed on the cushion that Naru had been sitting upon.  
  
"Um..." a small man dressed in a black suit rubbed the back of his head before standing up. "I have no clue..."  
  
"Okay-" the young woman with the katana started, pointing the weapon towards the newly-arrived group. "From whence did you come?"   
  
"Huh?" A brown-haired girl, the one who'd yelled earlier, stood up to inspect these new surroundings. She squinted at the kimono-garbed girl and pointed.  
  
"Who the hell are you?"  
  
"Motoko Aoyama. Answer my question," the girl with the katana continued, still pointing the weapon at the newcomers. A sudden noise had the girl change her weapon's direction. Two short people with red attire had decided to get up from the fray, the one with blonde hair moaning in pain.  
  
"Oh my God," the male voice from earlier said, placing his hand on his chin. His eyes widened as he inspected his new surroundings. "Um... Shadow-"  
  
"Not right now, Hildebrant, I'm in the middle of something," Shadow countered, still staring Motoko down. The samurai-like girl regained her focus, staring at Shadow-chan just as hard.   
  
"Shadow..." Hildebrant tried to get the girl's attention, when another girl got his, by attaching herself onto his arm. The blue-haired Shinobu seemed to be scared of everything that was transpiring. Hildebrant blinked, then smiled at the young woman.  
  
"Hey, don't worry. It's not your fault," he said, raising an eyebrow when his eyes focused on Naru. He patted the blue-haired female on the head, then slowly disentangled himself from her grasp. Gritting his teeth, Hildebrant pulled on Shadow's shoulder to get her attention.  
  
"What? I thought I said I was-"   
  
The look on Hildebrant's face told her that he was absolutely NOT comfortable here.   
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
As these two chatted, the rest of the chibis regained their footing, thanks to Saberpilot, who helped them all up onto their feet. As she was doing so, the very blonde-haired Su walked over, blinking and staring at both the chibis and Saberpilot. The persocom Kos-mos appeared to be unhurt as well, and assisted Saber.  
  
"Um..." Saber blinked, when she noticed the girl looking at her.   
  
The other girl seemed to have no qualms about being social, smiling and deciding to jump on the college student's back in an embrace. Wolfwood grimaced for Saberpilot, who looked as though she might fall back onto the floor at any second. Kos-mos looked as though she was confused as to what to do.  
  
"HI HI!" Su yelled into Saber's ear, causing the blonde's hair to stand on end.   
  
"Shut... UP!" Naru suddenly yelled, and all occupants of the room stopped, heeding the girl's primal screen. During the silence, a mild groan escaped the floor, and it was apparent to see that the boy named Keitaro was in quite a lot of pain, having been landed on by the room's new occupants.   
  
"YOU-" she said, pointing at Su, Motoko, and Shinobu, who whimpered when pointed at, "CALM DOWN AND BE QUIET. YOU-" she yelled at Saberpilot, Shadow, and company, "EXPLAIN YOURSELVES!"  
  
Keitaro continued to remain ignored, his moans of pain somehow sadly endearing.  
  
"...shouldn't you help him?" Hildebrant suddenly queried, out of the blue. He crossed his arms, and pointed at Naru. "And where do you get off yelling at us? I didn't see anyone else yelling around here."  
  
"...well, I-" Naru seemed to be at a loss for words.  
  
Suddenly, a short haired female walked into the room, scratching her head with one hand and holding a bottle of sake in the other. She blinked, viewing the scene before her, then stared at the sake. Finally, she took another sip, shrugging.  
  
Hildebrant sighed. "Hell may be a four letter word, but it's spelled Hinata," he moaned, then groaned when he saw Naru motioning for all of them to leave the room.  
  
"God..." Wolfwood moaned, stepping over poor Keitaro, who still had not been helped.  
  
******************************************************************************  
  
"Okay. Go over this one more time," Naru ordered, half the populace in the Hinata Inn's living room not paying attention. Only Shadow-chan and Hildebrant seemed to be giving the girl any sort of attention.   
  
"You-" she pointed at the expanse of Shadow-chan's little group, "came here via a 'dimensional transporter'. On accident?"  
  
"...yeah, that's about it," Shadow-chan agreed, nodding. Naru sighed.   
  
"There's no way that can be true, and yet... here you are," she moaned. "And this Inn is filled to the brim as it is..."  
  
"Get over it," Hildebrant told the high school graduate. "We're here, and there's nothing we can really do about it. In any case, while I'm here, I might as well point out a few things that need fixing in this place."  
  
"Oh really?" Naru spat. "And what exactly would that be-" she started, only to be cut off by Su, Saber, and Shinobu, who were all exclaiming over a piece of technology the two blondes had put together. Naru blankly stared at them.   
  
"What... what is that?"  
  
"It's a computer!" Su said excitedly, smiling and swaying back and forth. And indeed, she and Saber had somehow created a computer, of a kind that no one had seen before. For the first part- it looked more like a robot than a computer.  
  
"Does- does that thing have LEGS?" Wolfwood asked, twitching an eye.  
  
Indeed, the computer, when looked at a second time, looked more like a robot than any sort of computer. Blue, and approximately as tall as a normal human, it wore a large blank screen as a face. Vash walked over and smiled up at the sitting creature.  
  
"That reminds me of a mantainence robot that was on the SEEDS ship," he told Saber, who grinned down at the chibi gunman. She nodded, and smiled.  
  
"He reminds me of someone else, too," she said. Kos-mos walked over and touched the robot on the side of its blank display face. She seemed slightly saddened by the robot's very existence. She then smiled at it with a gentle grin.  
  
"He is not, however, a persocom, Miss Saber," Kos-mos pointed out to the college student.  
  
"No, I didn't think he would be," she answered, then laughed. "At least, not with the limited resources we had."  
  
"...why do I get a bad feeling whenever you say limited resources?" Keitaro suddenly added into the foray, still nursing a hurt head with an ice pack. Shinobu had remembered the young man and saved him from his painful position on the floor... where he'd still been twitching.  
  
"Well, there was the TV from the main room," Su started, and Mitsune's left eye started to twitch, "and the metal workings from the training room," she continued, Motoko's expression breaking its normal placid calm. "And then there was the electronics from the animation studio that Kei-chan started to set up-"  
  
  
  
"WHA-?" Keitaro fainted onto the ground, his whole body now twitching. By now, Naru was on her feet, her hands balled into fists.   
  
"And why... why did you steal all these things, Su?"  
  
"I was bored!" the little foreign girl exclaimed. She then did a summersault and turned on the blue robot via a switch on the back of its neck. Saber continued to scratch her head.   
  
"I swear I've seen this thing somewhere else," she murmured, staring at the robot.  
  
"What'sh sho... shpecial about itsh?" Gene asked. He and Xellos had been entertaining themselves watching, and participating, in Mitsune's sake downing special- which Gene was losing outrageously, due to his chibi size. Needless to say, Xellos found this amusing- the chibi mazuko still immune to the properties of the drink.   
  
"Can't hold your alcohol?"  
  
"I keen hoold it jhust fihne," the outlaw protested, picking up another bamboo shell with which to down another bit of sake, only to find Mitsune taking it away from him. "Hey, *hic*, whaat givesh?"  
  
"You've had a little too much, kid," the freelance writer said, raising an eyebrow. "Leave the drinking to the people who can drink."  
  
"Butsh-"  
  
"Hey, it's moving!" Su exclaimed, bouncing up and down. Saber smiled, then stood up, looking directly into the robot's television screen of a face. Kos-mos and Vash looked up as the robot towered over them.  
  
"Hi there!" Su waved. The robot jumped back, then... blushed. It seemed nervous.  
  
"Hey, it's okay," Saber said, holding out her hand to the robot, smiling. The blue-clad robot hesitated for a second, then took Saber's hand. She smiled at him. "What's your name?"  
  
A string of kanji scrolled past on the screen, and Saber blinked. "Um... what's that say?"  
  
"Canti," Shinobu read. She smiled. "That's such a cute name. Welcome, Canti!"  
  
The robot gave a stiff-half bow in answer to the blue-haired girl's welcoming. Kos-mos smiled up at Canti's screen,   
  
"Ah-hem," Naru grunted, trying to get everyone's attention.  
  
"Canti... Canti," Saber said, wording out the name. "Where have I heard that before?" She wondered aloud. Shadow, threw her arms up, not knowing either.  
  
"Ah-HEM!" Naru stamped her foot, impatiently.   
  
"Wait- I know," Hildebrant said, happily, smiling and winking at Shadow. "From Furi Kuri- isn't that the robot from there? Canti?"  
  
"Oh my God- you're right," Saber said, snapping her fingers. Something occured to her, and she looked at Shadow and Hildebrant, wide-eyed. "But... that would mean that Naota pulled Canti from this dimension, and not-"  
  
"AH-HEM!" Naru ordered, stamping her foot and yelling. Everyone, including Canti, huddled back slightly in fear. Keitaro twitched on the ground.   
  
"Since we now know HOW you got here, don't you think it's time that you ought to be going HOME?" Naru asked, her arms crossed in agitation. "It's obvious you have other places to go," she spat. Hildebrant gritted his teeth, then stood up to face her.  
  
"Maybe we don't. What then, Miss Smart Alec?"  
  
"Well, uh..." Naru blinked.  
  
"I thought so. Why don't you just get down off your high horse, then, and listen to me," Hildebrant ordered. Naru, too stunned to do anything, sat down, her eyes wide. Hildebrant took the floor, giving a smile.  
  
"While we may not be from here originally," he started, "there are a few things that need changing before we leave. Saber?" He queried the blonde, who was still sitting next to Shinobu and Su.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Your weapon of choice, please."  
  
It took Saberpilot a second to see where the young man was going, but after she did, she grinned, and threw Hildebrant the chibi-ray. He smiled, then pointed the 'weapon' at Naru.  
  
"What- what is that thing?" she asked, just as he fired it at her. Seconds later, a very chibi Naru stood in front of him, her large eyes twitching in fear.   
  
"What- what did you do to me?" She squeaked. All chibis present started to laugh, including the very drunk Gene Starwind.   
  
"Oh God- she sounds worse than you, Xellos," Wolfwood chuckled. The mazuko gave the priest a glare.   
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"What did you DO TO ME?" Naru squeaked. She jumped down from her chair and ran over to Hildebrant, trying to hit the larger young man. Keitaro blinked, awakening from his shock-induced stupor. He saw Naru and started to laugh, pointing at her. Naru heard his mirth and started to grow quite angry.  
  
"You know, she's cuter this way," Mitsune said, raising a bowl of sake to the newly-made chibi. Naru turned to the short-haired woman, her anger growing by the minute. Shinobu giggled behind one of her hand-made handkerchiefs. The brown-haired chibi kept circling around, her anger boiling into steam.  
  
"Looks like that's one problem out of the way," Hildebrant said as Naru finally got fed up enough that she ran into the upper part of Hinata. He then reached over and helped Keitaro up.   
  
"Hope that helped."  
  
"But- I like Naru," Keitaro said, not understanding. He smiled. "I mean, that's cute and all, but-"  
  
"Trust me," Hildebrant said. "You'll thank me later. And you-" he pointed to Motoko, "be gentler with your manager. Believe it or not, he's not the pervert you think he is."  
  
"Wow," Saber said, watching as Hildebrant gave orders. "He knows what he's doing. Maybe he should help us ALL the time," she muttered, then smiled, shaking her head. "Nah..."   
  
Just then, the robot 'Canti' that she and Su had created winked out of existence next to her. Saber and Su blinked, then both shrugged. Kos-mos appeared confused. Vash looked up at the blondes.  
  
"Aren't you worried about him?" he asked.  
  
"Nah," Su smiled. "He didn't belong here."  
  
After a bit, Hildebrant finished giving orders. He smiled and threw Saber back her chibi-ray. "Well... that was enough hell for one day. Shall we be going?"  
  
"Sure-" Shadow-chan said, smiling. Saber gave Su and Shinobu both quick hugs, with a promise to figure out some way to visit. The chibis and Kos-mos all followed, seeing their cues to leave- except for Gene, who had to be pried away from Mitsune.   
  
"More- drinksh! More- DRINKSH!" he yelled as he was being pulled away. Saber looked embarrassed, but Mitsune waved her off.   
  
"Don't worry about it. He's just a lightweight, that's all."  
  
"I'll show yuu lightshweightsh," Gene said, trying to remain focused on the short-haired blonde.   
  
Shadow-chan sighed, then pressed the return button on the DGT. She'd had enough of hell for one day. It was hell enough dealing with all the siblings she had on a daily basis, let alone all of the Hina girls...  
  
**********************************************************************************************************  
  
The landing back in the dorm room was as rough as usual, though Hildebrant and Alucard both landed on their feet.  
  
"Pillows," Saber said, grumbling. "Pillows. You need to lay down pillows, Shadow."  
  
"I know, I know," Shadow grumbled, prying herself off of the floor. "But at least we didn't land on anything sharp."  
  
"Yes, thanks to Kos-mos," Saber pointed out. The brown-haired college student threw Saber a scathing look.   
  
"NO thanks to Kos-mos, you mean," she spat. The red-haired persocom looked hurt, and Saber placed a hand on her shoulder- half in comfort, and half so that she could keep her balance.   
  
"Shadow, you didn't land on anything sharp thanks to her. The least you can give her is your thanks," Hildebrant pointed out. Shadow-chan turned slightly pink, then muttered a whispered thanks to the persocom. Saber grinned.  
  
"There. Was that so hard?"  
  
"..." Shadow-chan didn't answer, wiping off the invisible dust that was on her pants in agitation. She then looked at a nearby clock and balked.  
  
"Hi-Hildebrant, you're going to be late to your night class-" she pointed out, and the young male grimaced.   
  
"You're right. Well, I guess I'll see you later. And you-" he said, pointing to Saberpilot, "YOU warn me next time something like that's about to happen. I have NO intention of going through hell again." With that, and a quick hug to Shadow, he left the room.  
  
"Yoursh cheeksh is pink," Gene pointed out to the college student. Shadow-chan gave the chibi a rather pointed middle finger to look at.   
  
"You- SLEEP. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll wake up with a lovely hangover," she smiled. The chibi didn't answer- he'd already passed out on the dorm room floor, much to Shadow's chagrin. She snorted, then looked at the other chibis. Wolfwood was watching Alucard, whom had not said a single word- or moved, for that matter, since they had arrived back on Earth Prime.   
  
"...you okay?" He asked the chibi vampire. Alucard gave the priest a dirty look from behind his red shades. The priest shook his head, grinning.   
  
"Someone's jealous, I think."  
  
"Jealous?" Saber asked, oblivious.   
  
"...I don't get it either," Vash sadly agreed with the blonde college student. Shadow and Wolfwood sweatdropped, both embarrassed for the two of them. Kos-mos smiled, not getting any of what was going on either.  
  
"Saber, you really are a stupid genius," Shadow-chan smiled, shaking her head. It was then that she noticed the blonde had fallen asleep. Vash was hurrying himself by covering her with a blanket, and Wolfwood smiled.  
  
"God..." The priest grinned. "God, thank you for crazy people like these... even if they don't always have the brains to pull anything off."  
  
********************************************************************************************************  
  
Shadow: did you know I'm slowly but surely killing off Saber?  
  
Wolfwood: why?  
  
Shadow: No clue. But she says I am.  
  
Saber: ...  
  
Muses: just end this already!  
  
Saber / Shadow: THE END... for now. 


	8. Tokyo Mew Mew Saber's a Catgirl!

"Saber, you're so damn lazy," Shadow-chan told the blonde college student. "I swear, you're more cat-like than even me- you sleep all the time, you constantly are tired, and you complain about doing the slightest work-"  
  
"A ten page term paper is not 'slight'," Saber complained. She laid upon her bed, curled up on her side... looking very much like the cat Shadow-chan accused her to be.   
  
Vash and Wolfwood sat on the floor, playing Uno. The blonde hadn't had any regular cards to play with, so poker had been out of all their thoughts. Wolfwood seemed to be sweating hard. His hand hadn't been that good, and Vash had already called out the singular 'Uno'. Alucard appeared next to the priest.  
  
"Change it to red," he smiled with large canines, then disappeared back into the shadows. Wolfwood raised an eyebrow and looked towards the darkness.  
  
"...why should I trust you? You're not exactly Godly."  
  
"I'm a protestant."  
  
"Good enough for me. Vash, I change the color to red!" The priest smiled. Vash, not known for his poker face, face vaulted, drawing approximately ten cards before he found one of the appropriate color.  
  
"...you're mean, Alucard!" the gunner complained.  
  
"I never said I was kind," the vampire responded.  
  
"Boys, play nice, please," Saberpilot complained. "My head hurts enough from writing on that stupid distopian term paper." She moaned, and placed her head in the pillow.  
  
"Cat," Shadow-chan snorted.  
  
"...if I'm a cat, what does that make you?"  
  
"...I don't know. Let's not ask Gene, though, shall we?"  
  
"Mmmph!" The outlaw had been gagged after he'd made mention to Shadow-chan of the specific properties a bra could handle. Needless to say, Shadow had been less than pleased.  
  
Xellos had escaped this same fate by helping Shadow capture the redhead- through his own form of chibi mazuko magic on the outlaw. So not only was the chibi outlaw gagged... he was also slightly toasty.  
  
"Anything else, Miss?" Kos-mos asked Saberpilot. She'd brought some aspirin to the ailing girl, as well as a glass of water, which the blonde graciously took right away. Shadow-chan shook her head.   
  
"Nothing here, thanks. Saber, you lazy bum, is there anything else you want?"  
  
"...peace on earth, good will to women?" the girl queried.  
  
"I- I don't think I can accomplish this, Miss Saberpilot," Kos-mos said, disappointed that she could not carry out the task. "Anything else-"  
  
"She was just kidding," Shadow-chan said, rolling her eyes. "Saber, just order your cleaning lady to recharge, please," she complained. Saberpilot opened one blue eye and nodded to the red-haired persocom, who obeyed with calm precision, sitting down and crossing her legs before plugging herself in with a cable cord. She closed her eyes, all of her circuits shutting down, including her personality.  
  
"Listens well, doesn't she?" Xellos smirked. "Little servant you've got there."  
  
"Kos-mos is not a servant- she just feels she must be in order to be a help to me," Saber said, yawning and stretching on her bed. She looked over at Shadow.  
  
"So, you heard anything from Hildebrant lately?"  
  
"You found anything on Forka?"  
  
"...all right, that's fair," the blonde said, stretching. She reached to the end of her bed and picked up her laptop, smiling as she quickly typed.  
  
"Well, she hasn't been back at her computer," the stupid genius pointed out to Shadow. "Otherwise, little Ed here would have picked it up. And Neko hasn't reported any new developments."  
  
"I still can't believe you named a hacking program Kawaii Neko," Shadow-chan started, then saw Vash nodding with encouragement at the blonde.   
  
"You two are impossible," the college student said.  
  
"Huh?" Two sets of blonde eyes stared at her. "What?"  
  
"...nevermind," Shadow spat.  
  
"So what exactly ARE we going to do today?" Xellos queried, raising a violet eyebrow. "Your room is boring," he complained to Saber. "Nothing to destroy readily. Unless you include those wall hangings-" he said, nodding to the mini-shrine of Vash on the blonde's dorm room wall.   
  
"Well," Shadow-chan said, "I was actually thinking that we should go and-"  
  
"...feed on someone?" Alucard asked hopefully.  
  
"No. What I was going to say is that we should go and-"  
  
"Scope out some women?" Gene asked. The outlaw had somehow gotten out of his gag. Shadow-chan raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.  
  
"NO. What I was going to say is that we should go and-" she paused a second to make sure she wasn't interrupted- "save some more bishounen while we still can. Janie hasn't obviously figured out how to get back to this dimension, and we should take care of the temporary advantage while we have it."  
  
"Mmm...I don't wanna," Saber yawned. Shadow-chan furrowed her forehead in agitation, then pulled the DGT out of her pocket and picked up the chibi ray that lay on Saber's chest of drawers- quite out of chibi reach.  
  
"We're going. Lazy, ungrateful-"  
  
Shadow didn't finish the sentence, as the DGT sucked her, Saber, and the nearby chibis into its dimensional transporting black hole. Kos-mos, still shut down, didn't see a thing. It would definately be interesting when she rebooted...  
  
*********************************************************************************************************  
  
"OUCH!"   
  
Saber's first word was rather pointed, the girl having landed on something sharp that jabbed directly into her neck. In pain and using the flight in the fight-or-flight syndrome, she threw the offending object as far away from her as possible. Crying, she held the part of her neck in pain.  
  
"Saber?" Vash queried, worried by Saber's yelp. He looked around, then found the short blond college student curled into a fetal position. His blue eyes opened wide in fear. "Miss Saber?!?"  
  
"...I'm okay," the girl said, fighting back tears. "I- I landed on something. I don't know what exactly it was-"  
  
"A syringe," Shadow-chan said, having already gotten up and inspected the offending object. "At least, that's what I think it is. If I'm correct, it actually looks more like those things that you'd see on Star Trek- those hypospray things." She held it up for Saber to see.  
  
"That's not good," Wolfwood said, biting his chibi lip. "Is there any clue as to what was inside?"   
  
Saber, meanwhile, writhed on the floor, holding her neck. She moaned. "It hurts..."  
  
"I'm sure it does. Whatever it is, you only seemed to get a half-dosage," Shadow-chan said. "So... either your body's fighting the heck out of it-"  
  
"Or it's taking her over," Vash said, with wild wide eyes.  
  
"Maybe it'll turn her into a bona fide woman," Gene snickered. Shadow-chan "accidently" stepped on the outlaw.   
  
She kneeled next to the blonde college student. "Hey- you going to be okay? I didn't mean it when I called you a cat earlier... Are you all right?"  
  
"Just... in pain," Saber said. Her blue eyes were closed tight, tears leaking. Shadow bit her lip, then looked around.   
  
"...can I bite her? It'd put her out of her pain..." Alucard offered hopefully.  
  
"No. Saber, stay here. I'm going to see if I can get you any sort of help... wherever we are. But stay put. Vash-" she pointed at the chibi, "you stay here. Gene, Wolfie-chan, Alu-san, and Xellos, you come with me."  
  
"...Can't I stay here and watch?" the mazuko queried. Shadow-chan rolled her eyes, then sighed.  
  
"Fine. But no monkey business, you hear me?"  
  
"...I hear you," he said, smilling. Shadow-chan kneeled next to Saber, who looked ready to pass out.   
  
"Stay put. We'll be back soon."  
  
With that, the girl found a back door to... wherever they'd landed, and ran out, three chibis in tow. Vash sat by the blonde college student, who was nearly passed out by this point. He placed a brown gloved hand on her face, worried.  
  
"Hang on, Miss Saber-" he said, leaning close to her, his cheeks starting to pinken-  
  
When a loud noise came from a door not utilized before. Vash panicked, looking around for a place to hide Saber. When he found no place possible, he bit his lip, then dragged Xellos with him, deciding to hide them and pray that whomever it was would help Saber.   
  
Saber, the pain now starting to ebb away, looked up at the door that was starting to open. She panicked, and as she did, a funny feeling started to come over her. Scared, she put her arms over her face, afraid.  
  
The door opened, and a light was turned on. Vash and Xellos watched from behind a nearby table the chibi Stampede had found, anxious... or at least, Vash was anxious. Xellos watched in fascination.  
  
"Ichigo? Ichigo, what are you doing in here?" A voice suddenly queried. Saber, not exactly knowing what was going on, pulled her arms away from her forehead, and looked upward.   
  
An extremely handsome young man with long black hair stood in front of her, his facial expression one of immense concern. He kneeled down in front of Saber, and held out a hand.  
  
"Ichigo, what's the matter? Everyone was looking for you and- when did you dye your hair?"  
  
Saberpilot blinked, not understanding. "I-Ichigo?"  
  
The young man laughed. "Don't tell me you have amnesia, you little cat-girl. Look, everyone in the cafe was worried about you- Purin's already gone through at least five stacks of dishes performing while they waited for you."  
  
"Purin? Cat-girl?" Saber blinked, more than a little confused, and still out of it, due to the slowly-ebbing pain. She scratched the back of her neck, then looked up at him.  
  
"I- who are you?"  
  
"Ah, playing games now, are we, Ichigo? Don't tell me you've forgotten my name, little meow-cat. But, I'll play along for now," he winked, and smiled. "Keiichiro Akasaka. Remember now?"  
  
"But- my name's not Ichigo," Saber protested, standing up with the aid of this- Keiichiro's pro-offered hand. "And... what do you mean by 'cat-girl', anyways?"  
  
The young man laughed. "You must be nervous- you're forgetting yourself." He then looked seriously at the blonde girl. "Wait a minute... your hair doesn't look as though it was dyed... and since when have your eyes been blue, Ichigo?"  
  
"...What did you mean by cat-girl?" Saber asked, not to be distracted. Keiichiro's eyes suddenly widened, and he withheld the girl anew.  
  
"You- you really don't... you're not Ichigo!" He said, blinking. He held Saber in front of him. "Now on second glance, I can see that, but... then how do you have-" he gestured to the blonde's side of her body, Saber following his gesture.  
  
A black tail apparently came from somewhere behind her, and Saber looked behind herself to the back of her jeans. The tail apparently came from her own pants... but... how could that be unless... the college student blinked, then raised her hands up to her forehead. Something wasn't...  
  
She stopped in shock. Her ears weren't on the side of her head. Allowing her hands to play further, she found a set of very furry, very pointed ears on top of her head. Panicking, the blonde ran to a nearby window she saw in the room, and glanced in the reflection it gave off.  
  
Saberpilot, college student fantastic, stupid genius extraordinaire... was sporting a set of black cat ears and a tail. The girl's blue eyes widened to the size of saucers, not knowing what to make of everything.   
  
Five seconds later, Keiichiro barely caught the girl from falling and hitting her head as she passed out. He laid her on the floor, then noticed movement nearby. Seeing two very small boys hiding, he motioned for them to come out.  
  
"Don't worry... I won't hurt you. She's just passed out, is all. It's okay."  
  
A red-jacketed blonde child was followed by a violet-haired one, the first looking concerned, the second amused. The first ran to the still-unnamed girl's side, then looked up at the raven haired young man.  
  
"Is she going to be all right? What- what happened? Why does she have cat ears and a... a tail?" he asked. The other small boy seemed to be interested in the tail, poking it.   
  
"She'll be fine," Keiichiro assured the spikey-haired young child. He took a breath, then lifted the young woman off the ground, making sure not to hurt her as he lifted her body. "I'm going to take her to a different room... you're more than welcome to come along with her. I'm sure you're concerned. And when she wakes up, hopefully we'll find out what's going on."  
  
The red-jacketed kid nodded, then followed the young man, followed more leisurely by the violet-haired boy, who seemed more interested in his surroundings than the well-being of the young woman. Shaking his head, Keiichiro led the two towards a room that had some medical machinery inside.   
  
Ryou was not going to be pleased.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************  
  
"Okay. Aspirin. Doctor's... there's got to be something around here," Shadow-chan muttered, looking around the streets of the world they'd landed in. She scratched her head, then looked down at the three chibis accompanying her- two by daylight, one following in the shade.  
  
"You three see anything?"  
  
"Nope," Wolfwood said, giving the brown-haired college student a sad look. "I don't see a single medical shop around here."  
  
"Gene?"  
  
"...no medical shops, but- can we go into that store?" he asked, pointing at a store clearly marked for women's underclothing purposes.  
  
"Alu-san?"  
  
"...I still say it'd be easier just to bite her," the vampire retorted. Shadow-chan looked about ready to respond, but she threw up her hands, finally defeated.  
  
"You know, I hate to say this, but this dimension looks like it has nothing but stores relating to the environment or clothes," she said. She glanced around herself. "In point of fact... this setting looks very familiar," she mused, then shrugged.  
  
"Well, Saber'll just have to do without any pain relief," Shadow-chan sighed. "Come on, boys, let's get back to miss Neko."  
  
"...Miss Neko?" Wolfwood queried.  
  
"Neko. The Japanese term for cat. Don't tell me you don't know it, you speak Japanese anyway-" Shadow stopped, then laughed nervously. "Yeah... ah... let's just get back. Shall we?"  
  
"...sometimes I get the feeling you're hiding something," Gene muttered.  
  
"...you just got that?" Wolfwood asked, turning a corner back towards where they had come from. The priest really had to wonder about this outlaw's intelligence at this point... it didn't seem as though any kind of shrink ray could make his body the right size for his brain...  
  
*****************************************************************************************************  
  
A black hole with electric sparks appeared in the middle of the hallway, allowing two very pissed-off-looking women to rise out from it. One, redheaded, and the other a short brown, looked around with precaution before they relaxed in the slightest.  
  
"That was... without a doubt, the weirdest dimension ever," the red-haired one, known as the evil Janie Forka, pointed out. The short haired one agreed.  
  
"I know- that girl with the pink hair that kept trying to have us duel her- it was so strange! And I couldn't tell if there were any bishounen- every single one of them looked like women!"   
  
"Yue-chan?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...remind me to find a way to bomb that dimension as soon as we get to Earth Prime again. After, of course, we find the Pokemon universe."  
  
"Yes, Lady Forka-"  
  
"Call me Lady Ketchum, damn it- I hate that name!"   
  
"...yes, Lady Ketchum."  
  
"That's better." The red haired female looked around her, and gave a small grin. "This place isn't so bad, actually. I wonder..." she looked around the hallways. "Do you think this could be a gym?"  
  
"It's possible," Yue-chan agreed, inspecting their surroundings as well. "Although I can't tell really well- we are in a hallway, after all-"  
  
"True, true," Janie agreed. She looked around the various surroundings, then nodded towards one side of the hallway.   
  
"We should find out if this is it. And if it is- Oh, Glorious!" The Pokemon otaku clasped her hands together, her expression rapturous. "Oh glorious, glorious day! How wonderful it will be- and how dismal to our enemies- including that crazy twin sister of yours," Janie cackled. Yue smiled.  
  
"Lead the way then. I'm anxious to see where we are."  
  
With large grins on their faces, the pair headed further into the hallway they were in, searching for any sign of a pokemon nearby.  
  
**********************************************************************************************************  
  
"This isn't good, Shadow," Wolfwood complained. Shadow-chan gave the chibi priest a loathing glance.  
  
"Don't complain, Chapel," she spat back at him. "Otherwise, your 'church bells' may be in danger of a swift kick."  
  
"..." Wolfwood did not respond, but placed his punisher closer to his person, shielding himself from the offending female's legs that walked beside him. Alucard smirked from the shadows, and Wolfwood made an upside down cross- the reason it being upside down being that the largest part was comprised of his middle finger.  
  
"Isn't that it?" Gene asked, pointing towards a building that looked like a fancy cafe rather than anything else. Shadow-chan blinked. "Well... the sides do look familiar- but- that was a restaurant? What the hell universe are we in?"  
  
"...I have no idea, so don't look at me," Wolfwood quipped.  
  
"Pussy priest," Shadow cat-called. She then shrugged, and glanced at Alucard. "Hey- Alu-san, can you check around the back and see if it's locked?" The vampire disappeared from the shade of a nearby tree, then reappeared in all his chibi goodness back in the same spot.  
  
"It's locked. I could break it if you wished..."  
  
"No, that's okay. We don't want to draw any attention," Shadow-chan mused. She placed her finger and thumb to her chin, trying to work out a plan. Gene, however, had other ideas, his chibi nose following the smells that wafted out of the cafe. When the college student looked up, she realized that he already had his nose pressed against the window- although it wasn't the food that had gotten his attention.  
  
A young woman- fifteen, by Shadow's guess, stood in front of the window, her long violet hair held back by a waitress's headband. She was bending slightly to ask a table their order, and Gene was loving every second of it.   
  
A love tap ended all that.  
  
"OUCH! Shadow, you're such a-" Suddenly Gene looked up, realizing that his yelling had gotten the attention of the young lady inside. Wolfwood stood beside Shadow, and Alucard stood directly in her shadow. The young woman blinked at the company outside, then stood up and pointed at the door, as if Gene had been misdirected to the entrance.   
  
"Um..." Shadow gulped, then nodded, a large sweatdrop eating at her hair. She escorted via hard pushes the chibis towards the door... Gene by the lobe of his ear.   
  
When they reached the door, another young lady awaited them. Her large green eyes were slightly hidden by a pair of glasses, and her hair was held back not only by a slightly crooked waitress headband, but a pair of braids. She smiled at the new guests.  
  
"Hello! And welcome to Cafe Mew-" she was cut off suddenly by a small blonde girl who bounced in front of her, causing the first girl to trip. The new arrival waved her arms at Shadow and company, proceeding to do a backflip right in front of them.   
  
"WELCOME TO CAFE MEW MEW!" she exclaimed, then proceeded to procure four menus out of thin air in front of their eyes. Gene blinked, then looked at Shadow.  
  
"What the-"  
  
"Or, would you like three kids' menus?" the green-haired girl asked, smiling. She'd apparently recovered quickly enough. She then let out a small giggle. "I mean, would you like three kids menus? Purin, she might not have wanted all adult menus-" she chided the blonde girl gently, whose face fell slightly.  
  
"I may look like a child, but I have a grown man's appetite," Gene smiled and winked at the green-haired girl, who blushed. Shadow managed to slap the redhead hard enough that he landed directly in front of the blonde Purin.  
  
"Wow. She's strong. Is your mommy a martial artist like my daddy?" she inquired of the fallen Gene. The outlaw's bruised eyebrows twitched.  
  
"Um... just four regular menus, that's fine," Shadow-chan said, glancing around as she answered the green-haired girl's question. The waitress, whose nametag she was not able to read, led them to their table, Shadow dragging Gene along with them.   
  
They came to a nearby table and had barely sat when a girl wearing blue buns in her hair came over to the table and nodded promptly. Wolfwood raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Aren't you all a little... I don't know... young to be working in a restraunt?"  
  
The girl seemed to ignore him, started on her waitress schpeal already. "Hello, and welcome to Cafe Mew Mew. My name's Minta, and I'll be your server. Would you like anything to drink?"  
  
"...she is as devoid of any life as I am," Alucard commented. Wolfwood gave the chibi vampire an elbow to the guts... which the vampire conveniently forgot to feel.  
  
"Just four waters, please," Shadow-chan said, finally getting the girl to leave. The college student looked thoughtful for a minute, then snapped her fingers. "That's it!"  
  
"That's what?" Gene asked, rather acidly. He still didn't like her.  
  
"The dimension- we're in the Tokyo Mew Mew dimension... wow. We must have gotten to it before the dubbers got here," she said, looking around. "They still mostly have their Japanese names- except for Lettuce, and Minta. I wonder..." She glanced over to another side of the cafe, and noticed that a slightly familiar pink-haired girl was taking someone's order.  
  
"And there's Ichigo- and that little blonde was Purin, and that girl from earlier was Zakuro-"  
  
"The really hot one?" A cat-like outlaw asked.  
  
"She's only FIFTEEN, you idiot!" Shadow said, giving him a good smack to the head. Shadow bit her lip. "This... isn't good. If Saber fell on a needle, that means that she... oh God, she could be half Giraffe by now!" The college student's face was panic-striken. "God... we have to find a way to... find her."  
  
"There is an opening towards the left," Alucard pointed out, his chibi gloved finger centered on a swiveling door that looked as though it led to a kitchen. Shadow-chan nodded.   
  
"Got it. Now all we need's a distraction-" she started, but stopped short when she looked at the chibis and realized that a certain one was missing- one with very unique red hair.  
  
"...Gene?" she hissed, looking around the restaurant. She then noticed that he was kneeling behind a nearby booth, next to which the violet-haired Zakuro was talking to a group of customers. Shadow-chan sighed, then balled her hand into a fist.  
  
"Well, when nothing else presents itself-" she started, then picked up her fork and aimed it at the chibi. Seconds later, a yelping Starwind lurched forward, attaching himself to Zakuro's leg.   
  
Pandemonium ensued.  
  
"Let's go," Shadow hissed to Alucard and Wolfwood, the two chibis following her back towards the exit that the vampire had pointed out earlier. The rest of the Mew Mew waitresses ran towards Zakuro, all of them attempting to detach the little imp from her leg, who was crying because of the fork stuck in his rear end.  
  
A few minutes later, the college student gave the signal that it was okay to talk, now being back where they had started earlier- in one of the Mew Mew hallways. Wolfwood crossed his arms.  
  
"You know, I'm just about getting real sick of you stupid college students and these 'adventures' you drag us on-" he started, when Shadow-chan clamped her hand over his mouth, making the motion to shut up. Alucard smiled with his canine teeth and hid in a nearby shadow, as sounds of steps were coming nearby.  
  
"Damn... don't have the chibi ray," Shadow sputtered, feeling in her pockets. "Saber must have it... damn." She and Wolfwood pressed themselves against the walls of the hallway, Shadow praying that the people coming were absolute idiots who wouldn't notice their very obvious hiding spot.  
  
"...and I don't think this is a gym," a familiar voice said, and Shadow-chan froze. Alucard's red eyes suddenly slitted while in the shadows, seeing her expression.  
  
"Then shouldn't we just leave?" another voice asked.   
  
"Yue. That's Yue," Shadow-chan spat quietly to the vampire. "And Janie," she mouthed, as the voices were coming closer.  
  
"No, we should find out if there are any bishounen in this universe first. And destroy them. That'll give your sister and her friend some difficulty if they'd come here... I still don't know if they managed to fix that other one... what was his name?"  
  
There was a slight pause, and Shadow's face uplifted, hoping that her sister hadn't been completely turned to the dark side. Her hopes were squashed, however, when her sister's voice answered.   
  
"I don't remember, to be honest," she said. Shadow-chan panicked, their voices now matching a set of bodies coming down the hallway. She shut her eyes in fear.   
  
"And what do we have here?" an acidic voice rang. Shadow-chan opened her eyes to come face to face with the Pokemon Otaku, Janie Forka. The brown-haired college student snarled.  
  
"I didn't expect to see YOU here," Shadow spat. She then looked at Yue with disdain in her eyes. "Or you."  
  
"That's what you get. You shouldn't expect us," Yue smiled evilly. "We were just passing through. It's funny to see YOU here, sister. What'd you do, get lost with that pathetic dimensional transport of yours? And where's Saberpilot?"  
  
Shadow-chan kept her lips sealed, watching a certain vampire move slowly in the shadows behind the duo.   
  
"She doesn't want to talk. What is it? Too afraid? Saberpilot must have been left behind in another dimension or something. You should never have decided to fight Janie," Yue spat, then added with acid, "sister."  
  
"Saberpilot's... disposed at the minute," Shadow said behind tight lips.   
  
"Really? Then why do you look so scared? She must be left behind somewhere. How does she know me, anyhow? I saw recognition in those eyes whenever I met her. Where did I meet her, Shadow-Chanter?" Janie satirized.  
  
"To the left. It's in her left pocket," Shadow whispered to the vampire that was now standing behind Janie and Yue.   
  
Janie narrowed her eyes. "Who are you talking to?"  
  
Wolfwood smiled from beside the college student. "No one. But why don't we sit down and chat while we're here? Have tea or something?"  
  
"Little heathen," Janie spat. Shadow-chan smiled. It had been enough. Alucard whipped out Janie's dimensional transport device and pressed the button, then tripped her and Yue-chan before running back to his shadows. The two were slowly sucked into their gate, Janie giving Shadow deadly eyes before disappearing into the lightning-coarsed black hole.   
  
"This isn't finishe-"  
  
"Oh, yes it is," Shadow-chan smiled, brushing off her hands and smiling. She bent over slightly to Alucard, who leaned against a rift in the wall, his legs and arms crossed.  
  
"Thank you, Alu-san, I-"  
  
"Who the HELL are you?" A new voice came from nowhere, leaving Shadow slightly stunned. She stood straight and found herself staring into a pair of blue eyes. She blushed for a minute, then blinked.  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Again, who the HELL are you?"   
  
The voice belonged to a young man with blonde hair and blue eyes, who was accompanied by a man with long black hair. Shadow-chan blinked.   
  
"This is Tokyo Mew Mew, so that would have to be-" she said to herself, then exclaimed aloud, "You're Ryou! And you're- you're Keiichiro!" She smiled, then jumped forward and gave the blonde haired young man a hug.   
  
The young genius Ryou tried to fight the embrace, a look of disgust on his face. "What- is- she- doing?"  
  
"I believe she's hugging you," Keiichiro smiled at the young man, then noticed Alucard and Wolfwood in the background. He then gave a thoughtful nod, and tapped the fighting Ryou on the shoulder.  
  
"Ryou- I believe they're with that other girl we found."  
  
"Other-other girl?" Shadow stopped embracing Ryou long enough to look at the black-haired young man. "You mean- you found Saberpilot? Is she okay? Is she hurt?" She jumped away from the young man, questioning Keiichiro with large eyes. The young man laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, she's fine. We'll take you to her- she hasn't woken up yet, but... there are a few things we need to tell you, as well as some things we need to ask."  
  
"That's great! We can-" Suddenly something occured to Shadow-chan, and she looked at Ryou. "Um... did you guys find a... well, I guess you'd say he was a little kid, with red hair outside in your cafe?"  
  
"You mean this kid?" Keiichiro asked, stepping aside to reveal a very subdued Gene Starwind. He'd been collared and leashed... as well as gagged. Shadow-chan had to fight to keep from laughing, and the outlaw gave her as acidic a glare as he could manage.   
  
"Well, all's well that ends well," Keiichiro smiled, then motioned towards a back hall of the hallways that Shadow hadn't noticed before. She skipped ahead, Ryou and chibis in tow. Ryou gave Keiichiro a look before he and Gene followed- the outlaw with very little enthusiasm.  
  
********************************************************************************************************  
  
"Is she asleep?" Shadow asked Keiichiro, who was busy unrestraining Gene, who looked pitiful even with his bandages off. The raven-haired boy had obviously done a number on him. Suddenly, a knock distracted Shadow from her friend's slightly unnatural slumber.  
  
"Yes?" Ryou asked with a slightly agitated tone of voice.   
  
"Ryou? What's... going on?" A distressed Ichigo asked the blonde. Purin, Ritsuke, Zakuro, and Minta were behind the young woman, Zakuro looking like she was about to explode with anger. Ryou turned and beheld the girls, then sweatdropped slightly.  
  
"Well- might as well tell you what's going on," Keiichiro smiled, gesturing to Shadow-chan, the chibis, and an unconcious Saberpilot. It was then that Minta recognized Shadow, pointing at the young woman.  
  
"Hey- you came in here earlier with your kids- what is she doing here, Ryou?"  
  
"And you- what are YOU doing here?" Zakuro asked Gene, who started to back away slowly from the tall violet-haired Mew Mew.   
  
"...unfortunately, he's with me, so if you please, can you... let him live?" Shadow-chan asked. Zakuro looked peeved for a second, then swiped the angered look off her face with a cool sweep of the hair to her shoulder. Milliseconds later, it was difficult to tell she'd ever been mad.  
  
"...she's scary," Gene muttered.  
  
"That's what you get for skirt-chasing," Wolfwood smiled at the outlaw. Gene snorted at the priest.  
  
"As if you never-"  
  
"Not with GIRLS, no. With women... maybe."  
  
"Thought you were a priest."  
  
"Haven't you ever heard the expression 'Missionary Man' before?"  
  
"BOYS!" Shadow-chan yelled, and the two finally shut up, silenced by the girl's outburst. Purin loped into the room on all fours to inspect Saber who was still asleep on the table. She looked at the girl, then Ichigo.  
  
"You know... except for the blonde hair, she looks exactly like you, Ichigo," she told the pink-haired pre-teen.   
  
"...you do realize, she's nearly twenty," Shadow pointed out, sweatdropping.  
  
"She-" Ryou pointed at Saber- "is nearly... TWENTY?"  
  
"Yep," Vash smiled. "Not nearly as old as I am, but old enough."  
  
Ritsuke blinked, then walked over towards where Purin was very carefully. They found themselves in the medical ward of the Mew Mew cafe- which was also part of the operation known as Tokyo Mew Mew- a secret group of superheroes who wanted to save the world from the invading alien forces.   
  
"You know, you're right. She does look like Ichigo." She raised a hand to lay on the table where Saber lay- and fell on her face, her balance set off by raising her arm to the table.   
  
Walking carefully, Ichigo navigated around Ritsuke, and joined the two in inspecting the blonde college student. She gasped.   
  
"They're- they're right! She really does look like me... this is freaky."  
  
"Hmmph," Minta spat. "That's not important. What's important is who the heck are these people? They are annoying me with their presence."  
  
"Give them a chance to explain," Keiichiro said. "I've been talking to these three young men, and apparently these two are on a quest to make sure that all 'bishounen'... whatever they are, are safe from an evil known as 'Janie Forka', who wants to take over the world using... what did you call them again, Xellos?"  
  
"Pokey-mon."  
  
"Pokemon," Keiichiro smiled. "So you see, Mew Mews, they're out to save something apparently much bigger than just our world- they're out to save all the worlds."  
  
"Wow," Minta said, looking between the chibis. "And what, exactly, can five little boys and two... girls do to stop some evil madman?"  
  
"What can five little girls do to save the world?" Shadow-chan spat at the blue-haired girl. Minta closed her mouth, realizing that she had no answer to the college student's claim.   
  
"Is she going to wake up or what?" Shadow-chan asked Ryou, glancing at Saberpilot. The blonde was still unconcious, but just as Shadow spoke about her, as if on cue, the little college student started to move, her eyes vibrating from the end of REM induced sleep. Purin smiled.  
  
"WAKEY WAKEY!" She yelled in the college student's ear, causing the girl to jump, her eyes wide and a pair of cat ears and tail springing up from her head and base of her spine. "Wow," Shadow-chan said. "Uh... my guess is the syringe held animal DNA?"  
  
"You know about that?" Ryou demanded. "What exactly do you know?"  
  
"Ummm... educated guess?" Shadow-chan tried. "I mean, I'm not all that smart, but she fell on a syringe and now she has cat ears and a tail. Conclusion: animal DNA."  
  
"It's not a bad guess," Keiichiro said softly.   
  
"You have it correct," Ryou admitted. "But she only recieved a half-dose, so I'm not sure what the full reaction will be. I imagine that it will be similar to Ichigo's reaction. When your friend becomes stressed out or over-excited the cat ears and tail will appear. When she calms down, it will go away."  
  
Shadow-chan sighed, while Saber looked about ready to cry.   
  
"What is it?" Ritsuke asked worriedly.  
  
"She's gonna have those ears and tail a lot..." Shadow explained. "She's always stressed out or over-excited all the time. College life gets like that. Is there any ways to fix it? Like an antidote or something?"  
  
Ryou shook his head.  
  
"I'm stuck like this!" Saber yelped, finally awake enough to speak. She felt her new additions and yelped, "I'm stuck with ears and a tail?!"  
  
"Reacting like this is only going to make it worse," Ichigo warned Saber, in a friendly tone. "I'm Ichigo, by the way."  
  
But Saber just promptly fell back into a stupor.  
  
"Is she really like this all the time?" Minta asked airly. Shadow nodded. "And you're going to save the world? Or universes or whatever?"  
  
Shadow rolled her eyes. "Yes, we are. And if you have a problem with that, Miss High-and-Mighty, then tough. Believe it or not, that girl lying there is actually quite strong, especially if someone she loves is in danger. She's just undergone a huge shock and she fell on a friggen needle, which stabbed her in the neck! Leave her alone, and if you decide to make any more comments you deal with me; understood?"  
  
Minta, and in fact, everyone else, stared at Shadow as if she were an alien. Minta looked surprised, everyone else in shock. Shadow just stood there, as cool as a block of ice, not flinching at all under all the sets of eyes. It was finally Ryou who broke the stunned silence.  
  
"Ladies, I'm sure there are customers out there waiting for someone to take their orders," he said with a slight cough.  
  
"Oh, of course," Ritsuke said, the first to speak up. "Come on, Purin." They were the first to leave, followed by Zakuro, Minta, and lastly Ichigo. Ichigo paused as she passed Shadow-chan and gave her an apologetic smile.  
  
"Minta isn't really all that bad; she just gets that way some time. Give her a while and she'll grow on you; she really is nice." And with that the pink-haired pre-teen left, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"Oh, Saber... what am I going to do with you?" Shadow-chan asked, the blonde still asleep. Her cat ears and tail hadn't disappeared, Saber having passed out while they were still on her. The concious collegiate smiled at Ryou and Keiichiro.   
  
"Thanks so much for putting up with all this- we're sorry about any trouble we've caused. Right, Gene?"   
  
"Uhh..." the red haired chibi gave Shadow a scathing look, then muttered a disclaimer to the two males. Keiichiro smiled and Ryou gave a smirk in answer.  
  
"Well, that takes care of that. We should probably be on our way first, but-" Shadow pulled out Saber's chibi-ray from the girl's pocket and fired it upon Keiichiro and Ryou. The blonde genius seemed less than pleased.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL-"  
  
"It's a precaution. To keep you safe from Forka and her minions," Shadow told the boy. Wolfwood snickered as Ryou tried to figure out exactly how tall he really was.  
  
"It's not going to be over three feet, I'm telling you that right now," he guffawed. Ryou held up a finger to Shadow-chan.  
  
"This ISN'T necessary. Myself and Keiichiro are not these- 'bishounen' things, I'm sure-"  
  
"Actually, you might be considered them," Vash pointed out. "If we're going by Saber and Shadow's comparisons by way of us," he said, gesturing to the rest of the chibis, "then, yeah."  
  
"This is odd, but then, for the precaution!" Keiichiro responded happily. Ryou threw his affiliate a scathing look.  
  
"Traitor."  
  
"What? They're just trying to save us."  
  
"They? She hasn't done anything," Xellos mentioned to the boys, who sweatdropped. And indeed, Saber was still passed out on top of the lab table. Shadow grinned, then saluted the two boys.   
  
"Well, it's been fun, but we should go," Shadow-chan winked at the boys, picking up her half-feline partner in crime. She then glanced over at the two chibified Mew Mew bosses, and an evil twinkle came into her hazel eyes. Ryou took a step back just as she took one forward.  
  
"Um... what are you doing?"  
  
"This," Shadow-chan smiled happily, scooping up Ryou with her free arm. She motioned to the rest of the chibis to follow her, then pressed the transport home button on her DGT. Ryou's blue eyes widened, and he reached out with his only free hand (since Shadow had secured him rather well) towards Keiichiro, who couldn't quite reach him in time as the portal closed.  
  
Just before it did, however, a black-haired young man jumped into the portal right after Shadow and company, unseen to the now very-dizzy Keiichiro.  
  
"Are you all right in there, Ryou? Keiichiro? We heard yelling-" Minta's voice echoed outside. Keiichiro slapped his forehead with a chibi palm. This was going to take a while...  
  
*************************************************************************************************************  
  
"LET. ME. GO!!!" Ryou fought against Shadow's grasp, the college student finally letting go of him so that she could place Saberpilot on her bed. The girl's cat ears still had not receeded, and she was still unconcious. Shadow-chan smirked at the blonde.  
  
"Rather pushy, aren't we?"  
  
"Why the HELL did you bring me here?" he asked. He crossed his chibi arms, about to make a comment, when Shadow-chan heard movement beside her, where she'd laid Saber. She turned to look-  
  
And saw a slightly clad young man with large pointed ears leaning over the bed, watching Saber. He floated in mid-air, his gaze intent upon her sleeping visage.  
  
"What- who the HELL are you?"   
  
The young man didn't respond at once, his gaze not leaving Saber's face until a few minutes later, when he looked at Shadow.  
  
"The name's Kish. Is she... she's not Ichigo, is she?" the young man queried. Shadow-chan shook her head, feeling very confused at this moment.   
  
Vash, having caught onto this 'danger' being around Saberpilot, ran over to where the girl laid and sat himself by her side, in between the blonde and this new threat.  
  
"You'd better explain yourself," he said, holding out his chibi pistol in front of him... knowing full well that it was filled with nothing but water. Kish, however, seemed not to know this, and he fell back a bit, floating a few feet away.  
  
"No, that isn't Ichigo. Wait- I remember you. Kish, you said? Aren't you one of those alien invaders that's trying to take over Tokyo-"  
  
"WE'RE not the invaders. Humans are," the now-clearly alien young man spat at Shadow, then became unnaturally calm, his glance returning to Saberpilot's sleeping face. "She's not Ichigo. I didn't think so. But- I just- she looks so much like her, and I had to-" He paused, then sighed, looking at Shadow.  
  
"Where are we, exactly?"  
  
"...my dorm room," Shadow said, her wide eyes very confused.  
  
"What do you want with Miss Saber?" Vash asked, not letting up.  
  
"I just wanted to- she looked so much like her, but Ichigo won't have a thing to do with me, so..." The young man floated over to the foot of Shadow's bed and looked at Saber, then back at Vash. "I just... I don't even know her name, but I think I'm in love with her. If not only for the fact that she looks like Ichigo, but... from the company she keeps, I'd wager she acts like her, too."  
  
Ryou then realized who the black-haired imp was, and snarled. "You're one of those stupid aliens who keeps making trouble for Tokyo."  
  
"And you're one of those stupid Mew Mew affiliates, aren't you? You're the one who makes Ichigo fight me- if she wasn't on the other team, she might have loved me, you jerk!" Kish spat at the young man. His eyes looked sad, and then he gazed back to Saber.  
  
"But maybe... I can start again."  
  
"Hey, hold on here, loverboy," Shadow interjected. "First, it wasn't cool that you just 'came' with us. I don't know quite yet how to work the memory banks on this thing- that'd be something I'd have to ask Saber. Second, just because you love someone doesn't mean they'll love you back. Saber doesn't even know you! Third, she's almost twenty. I don't know how old you are, but you look like jailbait."  
  
"Heh. I'll have you know that I'm about 22 of your puny human years," Kish spat. "You humans. You think that just because something looks young, that it is young. Which- if you say she's nearly twenty-" he looked at Saber again, then looked down, feeling a pressure against his leg.   
  
Vash, very nearly fed up with this talk of Saberpilot in such basic terms, had placed his gun against the alien's leg. Wolfwood smirked.  
  
"I'd back away if I were you, KID. That's a pistol, in case you didn't know."  
  
"But it's filled with-" Gene started, only to recieve a slap to the back of the head by the priest.   
  
"CALM DOWN, ALL OF YOU!" Shadow-chan yelled. She then huffed, slightly exhausted by the outburst. She straightened herself up and spoke.   
  
"Yes. We realize she looks like Ichigo. Get over it. You-" she turned to Vash, "Stop being so damn protective. We know you have your heart set on her, but she's not helpless. You-" she pointed at Wolfwood, "STOP BEING SO DAMN INSTIGATING!"  
  
"...but it's so much fun," nurtured Xellos.  
  
"Okay. We're going to first sit down and make some plans," Shadow-chan said. She then looked around her. "You know, this is interesting. No matter if we leave from Saber's or my room, we always end up back in my room. Hmm. Homing beacon must be set particularly to my room. Anyways-" she got back on target, "We're going to make some plans. Everyone here is going to have to pitch in. Five chibis was a little tight, but we squeaked by. Seven and ourselves is going to be hell."  
  
"Seven?" Kish asked, raising an eyebrow. "I only see six."  
  
"You're not looking close enough," Shadow-chan winked, then fired the chibi-ray on the alien. The alien was not happy to say the least. Ryou smirked.  
  
"Heh."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"All of you, quiet. We're going to have to make some plans now while she's asleep."  
  
"...why while she's asleep?" Wolfwood asked.  
  
"So we can feed on her, you idiot!" Alucard added. Shadow-chan glanced over at the vampire, giving him an evil look.  
  
"No, we're making plans now because we don't want to STRESS HER OUT. If we do this while she's awake, then who knows how long it'll take those things on her head to disappear, not to mention that tail- and we need to buy some hats and a trenchcoat for her-"  
  
"...God," Wolfwood said, slapping his forehead. "We have to go... clothes shopping?"  
  
"...God indeed," muttered Alucard. "This... should be interesting."  
  
"This is infuriating!" Ryou interjected. Nobody responded, but made plans, Saber continuing to slumber in her unconcious dreams...  
  
**********************************************************************************************************  
  
Heh, poor Saber. What's gonna happen next? Can things honestly get worse? ... yes. yes they can. C&C please! 


	9. Let's Go Shopping!

A/N: yep, we're back again. tired of us yet? too bad. hypnotises everyone and orders them to read on oh yes, we don't own any of the characters save for ourselves and Janie. And we do not own Canada, nor do we own Madagascar (sp?). Where do people think of these rumors?  
  
Saber: the internet. .  
  
Shadow: ... some people should just let their kitty genes take over and go to sleep.  
  
Saber: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....  
  
"Why are you dragging me along?" Ryou demanded, trailing behind Shadow along with Kish and Gene.  
  
"If I reverse the chibi ray will you be less ornery?"  
  
"It's a start."  
  
"Done." Shadow hit the reverse switch and fired the ray-gun, which she'd 'borrowed' from Saber, and returned Ryou to his normal size.  
  
"Now, why am I being dragged along on this trip?"  
  
"Well, I can shop for Saber perfectly fine," Shadow explained. "But Kish needs clothing, and I don't know what exactly is 'in' for boy's clothing. I only have one brother, and I never paid attention to his clothing. I would guess at flannel shirts and jeans, since that's what I wear all the time, but we're hitting summer and my clothing becomes a little more -" Shadow shuddered, "- girly."  
  
"So you want me to pick out clothing for HIM?!"  
  
"Yes." Shadow glanced back at the chibi alien, which she had thrown into a pair of her shorts and one of Saber's t-shirts. He definately looked pitiful, but Shadow felt it was an improvement over his original outfit. "I'm not going to let him run around in what he was originally wearing. He looked like Madonna."  
  
"Madonna?" Kish asked.  
  
"You don't wanna know or look like her," Shadow advised, ushering them all into the elevator.  
  
"All right, so we know why those two are going," Gene huffed. "Why am I being dragged along?"  
  
"I don't trust you."  
  
Gene's jaw dropped. "Me? You don't trust ME? And yet you leave Saber, asleep and defenseless, with the VAMPIRE?"  
  
"I told Alucard not to bite her, and he won't," Shadow said. "If I told you not to go near, drool over, and/or grope her, you would have ignored me. Besides, I gave her a silver cat collar. So yes, I can trust that Alu-san won't bite her. I left her with Vash, Wolfwood, Xellos, and Alucard," she said aloud, thinking. Something then occurred to her. "...oh dear lord and lady, I left her with Xellos..."  
  
"Will he do anything to her?" Kish demanded.  
  
"To her... no. To my room... better start praying."  
  
"Would you like me to drive?" Ryou offered.  
  
"I can-"  
  
"No, let him drive!" Gene interrupted. Shadow gave the chibi a scathing look but handed the keys to Ryou. He slid into the driver's seat of Shadow's car while Shadow shoved the chibis into the back seat, then slid into the passenger seat.  
  
"Gene Starwind, you leave my fire and EMT gear alone, do you hear me?" Shadow warned from the front seat, glaring at the chibi by way of the rearview mirror. Gene had just been reaching for Shadow's EMT 'tool-box'.  
  
"Damn it!"  
  
"You work in the fire services?" Ryou inquired quietly as he pulled out of the parking lot and Shadow instructed him where to turn.  
  
"Does that surprise you?"  
  
Ryou glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Yes."  
  
Shadow face-vaulted. "Why does it surprise everyone when a woman is involved in a program that was once dominated by males? For the love of all that is holy, we do just as good, if not a better job, then men!"   
  
Ryou didn't apologize. "That isn't what I meant."  
  
"What did you mean then?"  
  
"Nothing. It just surprised me that someone like yourself would be involved in an occupation that involves dealing with situations that involve a mass amount of pain, blood, or stress."  
  
"Ryou, the guys and I make bets to see who'll piss on a grass fire," Shadow stated a bit crossly. "I'm not shocked by gore or stress. Don't make assumptions when you don't even know me."   
  
"She's pissed," Gene whispered to Kish, who nodded boredly.  
  
Shadow didn't say anything else except for telling Ryou when and where to turn. They pulled up to the store and once the car was stopped, Shadow climbed out, silent and mad.  
  
"You know, I think you really have pissed her off," Gene said gleefully. "Do it again. Maybe we'll get lucky and she won't speak to us. Or better yet, she'll take us home."  
  
"Aww, Gene, I love you too," Shadow giggled, her anger vanished.  
  
"Damn that short-term memory loss!"  
  
Shadow laughed and led them inside. "Okay, Ryou, if you would help out Kish- I know you two despise each other, but if you don't help each other out I'm going to make sure that not only are you chibi, but you will be made female. Permanently."  
  
"But how would you-" Gene began.  
  
"K-12 saw."  
  
The boys all stared at her and gulped. "Fine," Ryou grumbled. "I'll help him out." Shadow de-chibified Kish, for the sake of finding clothing that fit.  
  
"Gene, you're with me," Shadow said and the two groups split.  
  
"So, are we going to pick out something sexy for Saber?" Gene queried, a cat-like grin on his face.  
  
"Most definately not," Shadow stated. "We're here to find her a hat that will work with all colors, and some loose fitting jeans... to hide that tail of hers."  
  
"You're no fun."  
  
"I know."  
  
After about an hour of shopping Shadow had found a few pairs of jeans for Saber, but no hat. Gene wasn't much of a help... in fact, it was proving quite difficult to keep him out of the lingere section. "Pervert," Shadow muttered every time she caught him.  
  
"What about this?" Gene asked, pointing to a black hat that resembled a fishing hat.  
  
"It would hide her ears and black does go with everything," Shadow mused. "It'll have to do." She added the hat to her pile of items. "Let's go check up on the guys. I'm almost afraid to see what they're up to."  
  
But nothing extremely damaging had happened. Amazingly. Well- both Ryou and Kish looked like they were ready to kill each other, but neither were sporting any cuts or bruises (so far as Shadow could tell), and Kish was holding a pile of clothing that appeared acceptable to Shadow.  
  
"Are. We. Done. Now?" Ryou demanded. His blonde hair appeared as though it might stand on end.  
  
"Er... yeah, I think so." Shadow took the items and paid for them, placing the bags in the back of her already stuffed trunk. Seconds later, they were piled into the car and on their way back.  
  
"Was it really that bad shopping with him?" Shadow asked on the ride home.  
  
"All he went on about was how humans are parasites destroying the world," Ryou growled.  
  
"And it's true!" Kish called from the back seat.  
  
"Not for all humans," Shadow interrupted. "What about the humans who are trying to save nature?"  
  
"They're hypocrites," Kish spat. "They pollute the world they claim to be saving."  
  
"And you're different?" Ryou demanded.  
  
"Ye-"  
  
"ENOUGH!" Shadow yelled. "I don't want to hear any more of this! Right now, you are stuck in the same world, and the same room for that matter. You'll have to deal with it. And Kish, if you hate humans so much, then I guess you can just forget about Saber."  
  
"I-" But Kish realized he couldn't argue with that one. "But-" he sighed. "You're right," he admitted. "I'll put up with this humilation... for now."  
  
Faint whisperings of "nyah" came from the side of the room where Saber was still unconcious- although it seemed more that she'd fallen into a slumberous form of unconciousness rather than one of complete stasis.  
  
"...isn't she awake YET?" Wolfwood complained, putting his hands against his ears. "That yowling of hers is giving me a headache."  
  
"She must be having some bad dreams," Vash said. "Her cat ears and tail are still there. Not good. She's stressed even when she's asleep."  
  
"Well, they ARE at a learning institution," Alucard pointed out. "Sir Hellsing was even worse than this when she went to Oxford." The chibis turned to look at the vampire, who smiled slightly.   
  
"She'd toss and turn all night in her bed- when she wasn't trying to cram her head full of books. Bah. Books. I've never seen the point in toiling half of one's mortal life away when one's life is so... limited," he smiled. Wolfwood gave him a blank stare.  
  
"You give me the creeps," he muttered.  
  
"I think she's waking up," Vash pointed out to the chibis, holding out a brown gloved finger towards the college student, who indeed seemed to be awakening.  
  
Saberpilot first rubbed her eyes whenever she awoke, then looked around herself.   
  
"I'm in- Hey-" she pointed at Vash. "There's only four of you."  
  
"Stupid genius doesn't miss a thing," Wolfwood muttered.  
  
"Miss Shadow went out with the others to get some clothes to cover your, um..." Vash turned slightly pink with embarrassment, "changes, and-"  
  
"Changes?" Saber panicked, making her ears and tail stand on end. She ran her fingers up through her hair, then stroked the two hearing organs, sighing as she did.   
  
"So it wasn't a dream. They're- they're real." She sighed, and sat up in bed. She allowed her newly-developed cat tail to curl around her legs. As she did, her stress level nearly became intolerable, and she started to weep into her hands. Xellos rolled his eyes.  
  
"Idiot," he muttered.  
  
"What's the matter?" Vash started, walking over towards Saber. "I'm sure that whatever they get will cover them up really well-" he began again, only to feel a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Wolfwood shaking his head.   
  
"You don't get it, do you, needle head? Growing limbs may not be a new thing to you, being a Plant and all, but to her- well, it's just a big shock. Not to mention that no one else on this planet probably has cat ears or a tail like her. She's feeling pretty ostracized right now."  
  
"But no one's making fun of her," Vash pointed out.  
  
"Not yet. But trust me- if word of this gets out, I have a bad feeling that she wouldn't exactly be pleased with the outcome."  
  
"Miss Saber-" Vash said, his voice filled with compassion. He started to walk over to the blonde, when Xellos stopped him, then grinned with a slightly evil twitch to his lips.  
  
"You don't make them feel better by pitying them," he smirked to the Stampede. "You snap them out of it. Here, watch." He climbed up on top of the bed where Saber lay and snapped his fingers in front of her. Saber stopped crying.  
  
"Look. You want to keep crying? Your face will be as red as a tomato then, and the other people on campus will be SURE to notice you," he pointed out. "Is that what you want?"   
  
Saber sniffled for a minute, trying to keep from starting to cry again- and failed horribly, crying harder now. Alucard winced in his shadowed corner.   
  
"Can you please try something else? My eardrums are being killed AGAIN," the vampire complained.  
  
"You stupid-" Vash started, then regained his composure. He coughed into his hand, then took a step forward, pulling Xellos down from the bed. The mazuko sniffed as he was forced away from his seat, then sighed as Vash sat in front of the weeping cat-girl.  
  
"Idiot. Sympathy never works in the long-term," Xellos muttered, nodding to himself.   
  
Vash didn't seem to hear the mazuko's comment, climbing up onto the bed and facing Saberpilot. Alucard then seemed interested, his eyes looking towards the Plant and the blonde.  
  
"Look," he said, trying to be gentle as he could with his words, "I know it's tough, all of this. It looked like it was right painful, to be honest." Saber stopped bawling so hard and sniffled, looking up at the chibi. Vash smiled the most honest way he could. "And I know that you're worried about what will happen if anyone else finds out."  
  
"I know it's hard to believe me, but don't worry. Shadow-chan and the rest of us will help you hide this- change. And that's what it is- not a disfigurement, not a hideous mutation, it's a change. To be honest, those ears are kind of cute," Vash smiled, his cheeks turning slightly red. Saber had stopped crying now, her tears diminishing to slight sniffles. She looked at him.  
  
"You mean it? Really?"  
  
Vash nodded. "Really."  
  
"You don't think... I look ugly?" She asked, biting her lip. As she did, Vash noticed that her canines were slightly... larger, but- that didn't matter. He nodded whole-heartedly.   
  
"I think they make you look even more beautiful."  
  
"Vash- I-" Saber's face turned bright pink, and she looked at the chibi, who sat in front of her with his large blue/green eyes. She nervously leaned forward, as if she planned to do something.   
  
Wolfwood and Xellos watched the entire scene with blank expressions, Xellos's left eyebrow twitching with agitation. Alucard, however, did not seem to be as blank as these two, his eyes betraying the intense attention he was giving to the scene.   
  
Vash, his cheeks also pink, leaned forward towards Saber, their faces now about an inch away. He closed his eyes, Saber following. They were nearly touching lips, when-  
  
"We're back!" Shadow-chan exclaimed from the doorway. Vash practically jumped away from the edge of the bed, his cheeks on fire. Saber's cheeks looked like red paint had been spilled on them.   
  
The brown-haired college student blinked, noticing Vash's 'fall' from the bed. "Hey, you okay there, Vash? Saber, what did you do to him?"  
  
"N-nothing," the blonde commented. Her cat ears were very solid at this point.  
  
"Oooh-kay," Shadow said, shaking her head. She then focused her attention back onto the chibi and two men that followed her. "Ryou, Kish, just stand over there for a minute. Gene, put that stuff on the bed, will you?"  
  
"Why should we stand over-" Ryou started, only to find himself facing the business end of a chibi ray. Shadow-chan grinned, then fired three shots- once for him, once for Kish- and once for Kish's new clothes.  
  
"...I hate you," the blonde said to Shadow. The collegiate didn't seem to be paying attention, instead walking over to where Saber was and sat on the bed.  
  
"Hey, you. Feeling any better?"  
  
"...Shadow, I'm a FREAK!" Saber yelled at the top of her lungs, then placed both of her hands over her mouth. The other college student shook her head.   
  
"Saber... Saber, look at me," she said, holding her finger in front of Saberpilot's nose. "Look. First, you are NOT a freak. If anyone's a freak, it's Forka. Secondly- you have a freaking tail! I want a tail!"  
  
"...but it makes me weird-looking," Saber whimpered. Shadow-chan laughed.  
  
"No it doesn't. Having a clown's hat on your head would make you look weird. Or his face for that matter..." she said, then shook her head. "Listen to me. It DOESN'T MATTER. Ears or tail, fur or hair, you're still the same person, right?"  
  
"Yeah, but I-"  
  
"That's all that matters. I know that no one here will think less of you for having a pair of cat-ears and a tail-"  
  
"Actually, it's kind of a turn-on," Gene said, as if he had been thinking about it. Wolfwood carried out Shadow's unspoken order and whacked him with his punisher.  
  
"Just listen. As long as you don't freak out or get overly emotional, they won't even be there. I bet you haven't even touched your head this whole time we've been speaking, have you?"  
  
"..what do you mean?"   
  
"Take a look- or, feel, I guess.."  
  
Saber reached towards her forehead, where the ears had been, and opened her eyes in surprise when all she felt was normal hair underneath her fingers. She looked at Shadow-chan and grinned. "They're gone!"  
  
"For now. But the next time you freak out, they'll be back. And that, my friend, is where these come in," Shadow-chan said, gesturing to her purchases. "They'll help hide everything that's ailing you if you happen to lose control- which, at first, I assume, will be constantly. Think of this as an exercize in keeping your cool."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Look, we can't reverse it, so you might as well learn to live with it, no?"  
  
Saber sighed, then nodded. "I guess..."  
  
"Then try these on!" Shadow-chan exclaimed, holding up a pair of pants. "They're cargo pants- I know you like them... and they'll be big enough to hide any popping tails..."   
  
"They're so cute!" Saber exclaimed, hugging them to her person. "I'll have to try them on right now-" she said, and went about to do just that- when Shadow-chan tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"Um, hon... not now. Go to your room. Later."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Hon? Look around you."  
  
Seven pairs of chibi eyes were staring at the blonde. Her cat ears perked up into existance, and she blushed bright pink.   
  
"Um..."  
  
"No worries," Shadow giggled. "It could be worse, you know."  
  
"How?" Saber demanded  
  
"You could have fur covering your entire body like Nightcrawler," Shadow pointed out. "Or you could have started to try and lick yourself clean - comment on that Gene Starwind and I will throw you out of the window!"  
  
Gene, who had been just about to say something, shut his mouth and gulped.  
  
"Anyways," Shadow continued. "These feline troubles will work themselves out eventually. You have to look on the brighter side of life."  
  
"Always look on the brighter side of life," Saber started to sing, Shadow joining in. All of the chibis stared at the pair of college girls as if the two were insane... or on drugs... or both.  
  
"And they're going to save the world?" Ryou asked incredulously. "Why do I feel like we're doomed?"  
  
"Because you are," Xellos confirmed.  
  
Wolfwood shook his head, muttering, "God save us all."  
  
Shadow: awww, I want a tail! I want a monkey tail!  
  
Saber: ... why do you want a monkey tail?  
  
Shadow: ... I want to be a lemur!  
  
Saber: -.-' ...until next time folks. 


	10. Planttastic Adventure and Change

A/N: We don't own any anime characters or any countries of the world. But we played nickel poker last night and Saber won her soul back. darn "Trash Your Neighbor" and it's evilness!  
  
"It's raining again?" Shadow murmered, glancing out the window after beating her alarm clock to death. It was only six-thirty in the morning, but she had early class, and she actually had to attend this one. The heat wave that had been plaguing the college town had finally broke in the night, though, it seemed, with a thunder storm. She was sleeping on the top bunk now, giving her bed up to Saber so that the floor could be cleared up for the chibis. With seven of them, it was imperative that Kos-mos keep the room clean, much to Shadow's dismay. She couldn't find anything now... and even under her bed had been cleaned out by the persocom. Of course that space went to good use, as Alucard had taken over the space for day time napping.  
  
With a grumble, Shadow climbed out of bed and carefully navigated her way around the rest of the chibis and grabbed her shower stuff and an outfit. When she came back from her shower she found that everyone was still asleep, except for Vash. He was standing on a chair next to the window, watching the rain fall.  
  
"You okay there?" Shadow asked in a whisper.  
  
"Huh? Me?" Vash asked. "Er... I'm fine, I guess."  
  
"You are such a pitiful liar," Shadow teased. "Something's on your mind." But Vash didn't say anything, and Shadow stared out the window as well, watching the rain create rivers down the sidewalk. "You have a brother, don't you?"  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
Shadow cringed, silently cursing to herself. "We-ell," Shadow began slowly, trying to catcher herself, "er... you look like you miss someone. From the way you're staring out that window, I'd say it's a sibling. I have so many of them, that I know the feeling and the look. So... a brother?"  
  
"Ye-es..." Vash said slowly.  
  
"I have a brother," Shadow said brightly. "He's an odd one. He plans on taking over the world. But that's after he becomes a firefighter. He also likes to hang from trees by fire hose."  
  
Vash blinked, not sure if the girl was making this up or if she was telling the truth.  
  
"But he pales in comparison to my sisters. Three of them have children and the rest are all nuts. One plans on working with dead people, the youngest is just odd as a pear in an apple orchard, and Yue-" Shadow stopped, leaning her head against the window. "Well... Yue is Yue."  
  
"Knives..." Vash began slowly, not even sure where to begin. "He..." The alarm clock interrupted him and Shadow cursed, slamming a fist down on the machine.  
  
"Sorry, Vash, I have to go to class. I'll listen to you when I get back, okay?" And with that Shadow ran out the door, leaving a pensive Stampede behind in her wake.  
  
"Are you sure you should be messing with that?" Ryou questioned of Saber, who was sitting on Shadow's bed, playing around with the DGT. The cat-girl looked over at Ryou questioningly.  
  
"What's the worst that can happen?"  
  
"We could wind up in hell," Wolfwood suggested. The rest of the chibis gave him a loathing glance.  
  
Gene replied with a touch of sarcasm, "We're already there."  
  
Saber ignored the remarks, pressing a few of the keys that she knew wouldn't actually send them anywhere. "Oh... hey, she wasn't kidding. I didn't know it could actually do this."  
  
"Do what?" Vash asked, intrigued.  
  
"It really does catalogue the universes that we've been to. We've just never utilized that feature before," she pondered. Her curiousity was so peaked at this point that her cat ears and tail were completely stabilized... much to Kish's crushing dismay.  
  
"So... we can go home, right?" Gene hinted hopefully.  
  
"...No. Not any time soon, anyways. Nice try, though," Saber replied.  
  
"...Damn."  
  
The door opened and Shadow walked in, dropping her umbrella on the floor in front of her closet. Her shoes were drenched, as were the bottom of her jeans.  
  
"Wet outside?" Saber asked with a grin. "Hate morning classes, huh?"  
  
"Bite me."  
  
"With pleasure," called a drawling voice from underneath the bed.  
  
"Heel, Alu-san," Shadow ordered. She then gave a nod to Saberpilot. "Saber, I need to see you out in the hall. Now."  
  
"Huh?" the blonde asked.  
  
"Just- get into the hall, won't you?" Shadow said softly, yet forcefully, pulling the blonde outside, shutting the door behind them. Saber blinked with confusion before Shadow spoke.  
  
"Notice anything odd about Vash?"  
  
"Vash? Is something wrong with him?" Saber bit her lip, worried.  
  
"He's brooding," Shadow stated. "He looks like something's bothering him and I think it has something to do with his brother."  
  
"Oh!" Saber exclaimed, frowning slightly. "You know, we did kind of leave that unfinished. I mean, Knives is one sick puppy... and he's actually quite a bit dangerous too."  
  
"Maybe we should take care of that?" Shadow suggested.  
  
"I don't know... I mean, Knives alone is really bad, but the Gung Ho Guns-"  
  
"Pshaw!" Shadow dismissed. "I don't think any of them are going to be able to do much without a leader. Besides, it'll make Vash feel better to know that his brother's not out torturing all of humanity."  
  
Saber smiled and nodded, then looked serious again for a moment. "What do we do with Knives once we chibify him?"  
  
"Hmmmm.... you know, I think Washu was looking for a new guinea pig."  
  
"Shadow, you're dispicable. Knives won't stand a chance."  
  
Shadow grinned. "I know. Hmmm... but I'll have to figure out how to access the memory banks of the DGT. I haven't quite figured that part out yet..."  
  
"No worries," Saber said. "I figured it out while you were at class."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"No way!"  
  
"I did."  
  
"Saber, you're awesome!"  
  
They walked back into the room where the chibis all looked up at them, a bit apprehensive. Saber raised her eyebrows at their scared expressions.  
  
"What?" Shadow asked, placing her hands on her hips. "Why do you always look at us like we're planning to drag you to your impending doom?"  
  
"Because usually you ARE planning to drag us to our impending doom?" Gene asked sarcastically.  
  
"I have no problem going along with her," Kish said lazily, looking over at Saber with a smile. Vash let out a low growl, but a warning glance from Shadow stayed both his tongue and his hand.  
  
"Where exactly are we going?"  
  
"Back to planet Gunsmoke," Shadow stated, oblivious to Wolfwood and Vash's startled glances. "We realized that we'd left a bit of unifinished business there."  
  
"We're not bringing back another person, are we?" Ryou inquired. "Space is uncomfortably tight as it is."  
  
"No worries, we're not bringing anyone else back to the dorm room," Saber answered, grabbing her chibi ray while Shadow grabbed the DGT and something else from her dresser.  
  
"Shadow, what are you doing?" Saber asked.  
  
"Nothing, nothing," Shadow replied around a moutful of... something. She joined the group with a large grin on her face. "Okay, so how do we access the catalogue?"  
  
"Press these three buttons, in this order-" Saber began, showing Shadow how. "And then-" The DGT's black hole swallowed the group, transporting them out of the dorm, leaving it empty and silent.  
  
The black hole dropped the group onto a plot of green ground with a heavy THUD. They all landed in a heap, save for Alucard and Xellos. The mazuko looked very amused at this transpiring of events, and smirked for good measure.  
  
"Owww! Wolfwood, get off of me," Shadow grumbled.  
  
"I can't," Wolfwood huffed. "Gene's on top of me."  
  
"Would you please get off of my leg?" Ryou asked acidly of Shadow.  
  
"I'd love to except that I CAN'T MOVE!!!"  
  
Saber and Vash rolled off of the top of the pile, freeing the rest of the lot to move. Everyone was muttering and grumbling, except for Vash, Wolfwood, and Saber. Alucard raised an eyebrow behind rose-colored glasses, thinking how sad humanity really was.  
  
"What is this place?" Shadow asked. "I thought Gunsmoke was a desert planet."  
  
"It is," Wolfwood replied.  
  
"A Plant has made this place green," Vash added softly.  
  
The entire group had landed amid a green paradise on the planet Gunsmoke- leaves blew softly in a gentle wind that passed them by, and the grasses that they had landed on moved in harmony with them. Small windcocks and cattails pressed against their stalks, moving in rhythm to their surroundings. Saber and the others appeared amazed at this natural wonder.  
  
"What have we here?" demanded a cold voice. The group looked around and came face to face with a white haired man, whose face reminisced of Vash's very complexion. He looked at the newly arrived visitors and set his sights on the chibi gunner who stood beside Saberpilot.  
  
"Brother, why have you brought these spiders here to our Eden? You disappear from my mind's eye for over a month, then come back bringing this filth with you to dirty our haven! Most of that filth being spider children, no less!"  
  
"They're not spiders!" Vash argued. "They're my friends." He glanced up at Saber, who squeezed his hand encouragingly and smiled at him.  
  
Knives snorted. "They're an inferior race and not worth the air they breathe." He paused a moment, then gave his brother a piercing glare. "Why have you come?"  
  
"He sounds like you, Kish," Shadow commented with a fearless grin. She turned to Knives and smiled. "You know, you're pretty long-winded. Do you like the sound of your own voice or something?"  
  
"Shadow!" Saber hissed, afraid for the girl.  
  
"Get ready, you dolt!" Shadow hissed back. She threw a pointed look at Saberpilot, and the girl drew her chibi ray, giving Shadow a cautioning look.  
  
"You dare insult me?" Knives demanded, looking Shadow straight in the eye. Shadow just grinned and nodded, not betraying any worry... if she even felt any. Knives then pushed into her mind, meeting very little resistance in the endevor.  
  
He would break this uppity spider and then destory the others as well. Friends of his brothers or not, he could not have this filth infecting this precious Eden meant for only himself and his brother's kin, the Plants. But what he found in that girl's mind was something not even he could control.  
  
'What is this?' he asked himself, confused at what he saw in Shadow's mind. A little goldfish floated around in all directions, chanting: 'sugar! sugar! sugar! sugar!...' repeatedly. There was nothing to control or break. When he tried to destroy the fish, another one appeared, chanting the same thing. Knives' blue eyes opened wide in a mixture of fascination and puzzlement.  
  
"Saber, fire that blasted thing before he hurts her!" Wolfwood ordered. Saber fired the chibi ray, shrinking the white haired Plant into a pint-sized one. That broke him from his 'mind-battle' with Shadow, and the girl blinked, confused at what had just transpired.  
  
"Shadow, are you okay?" Saber asked worriedly.  
  
"I'm fine," Shadow grinned.  
  
"But how-" Vash wondered. Normally his brother would have disposed of her within seconds.  
  
"She has no mind - no mind at all," the now chibified Knives mused, shocked that there was one 'spider' that he could not control. "There's nothing in there but a fish..."  
  
"A fish?" Gene, Xellos, and Ryou asked at the same time, giving each other a confused look. Kish scratched his head.  
  
"Was this fish chanting 'sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar'?" Saber asked Shadow. The brown haired collegiate nodded. Saber sweatdropped.  
  
"How many pixie sticks did you eat before we left?"  
  
"Thirty."  
  
"That explains it."  
  
Shadow walked over to examine the chibi Knives and cooed. "Seeing you like this, I'd say you made a cute child. What happened?"  
  
"You dare mock me?" Knives shouted. He drew his newly-chibified black pistol, the casing flying off the top. His arm became encased and enlongated, his angel arm appearing after a few seconds of growth.  
  
"Knives- don't!" Vash pleaded, but the white haired Plant ignored the blonde, firing at Shadow-chan. The blast was a direct hit, and Shadow was lying on the ground once the dust cleared. However, she was still breathing.  
  
"T-that should have killed her," the Plant exclaimed, taking a step back from the fallen college student. "What- What have you done to ME?"  
  
"Owww..." Shadow whimpered, sitting up.  
  
"Shadow!" Saber shouted out, running to her friend, cat ears and tail appearing as she did. "Shadow, are you okay?"  
  
"My skin hurts," Shadow mumbled, blinking. "My insides hurt too. What happened?"  
  
"You should be dead!" Knives growled. He punched the ground and gritted his teeth, very pissed off at this turn of events.  
  
"I'm supposed to be a lot of things, so I'll just add that to the list," Shadow said hoarsely, a forced smile touching her lips.  
  
"You're not okay, are you?" Saber whimpered. Her friend's breath was rather shallow at this point, and it appeared as though she might pass out at any given second.  
  
"I'm okay, really. I'm just... really tired."  
  
"Well, you've chibified him," Wolfwood said. "So... what are we going to do with him? Even small, he's dangerous." The chibified Knives glared with enough acid in his stare to back up Wolfwood's claim.  
  
"Oh, we have plans for him," Shadow stated.  
  
"You're not going to hurt him, are you?" Vash asked, a mixture of disapproval and concern in his voice.  
  
"No, we promise that we're not going to hurt him," Saber said solemnly. "We're taking him to Washu. She's probably the only one I'd trust to keep him from doing anything. And while we're there we can have her check over Shadow."  
  
"Why? I'm fine," Shadow breathed, huffing as she did.  
  
"You are lying," Alucard accused.  
  
"You are no help, do you know that?" Shadow said with a dry laugh.  
  
"Well, if we're going, let's not hold it up any longer," Ryou snapped.  
  
Shadow nodded, gritting her teeth against another wave of pain, and accessed the catalogue, finding the Tenchi Universe. "Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times, and if you must throw up, do so over the side-" she huffed, her voice cracking as she tried to retain a level of sarcasm to keep her spirits up. The black hole of the DGT absorbed the group, removing them from one universe and sending them to another.  
  
"Wow, Tsusami, that smells wonderful," Tenchi complimented as he sat down at the table with the rest of the 'family'.  
  
"Thank you very much!" the blue haired Tsusami smiled, serving up the dinner. She was just about to hand a plate of food to Ryoko when a black hole appeared in the ceiling of the kitchen.  
  
"Not again!" Ryoko growled as a large number of chibis and two full grown people were spit out of the hole, some of them landing on the table, some on the floor. "Damn it!" the space pirate shouted. "Why do you show up at the worst times possible?"  
  
"Like we planned to land on your dinner table," Gene spat, rolling onto the floor, brushing some noodles off of his shoulder.  
  
"We need to see Washu," Saber said urgently. "It's an emergency. Shadow-"  
  
"Saber, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm-" But she herself was cut off as another wave of pain rippled through her body.  
  
"All right, all right, just what is going on here?" a dark green haired woman demanded, looking at the group with piercing eyes. She then pointed towards Saberpilot. "Do you realize how much trouble you're causing the galactic police with all of this dimension hopping? You're in violation of-"  
  
"To hell with you and your stupid laws!" Shadow-chan growled through clenched teeth.  
  
"Kiyone, I think this is an emergency," Tenchi stepped in, lifting Shadow off the floor, much to the chagrin and jealous looks of both Ryoko and Ayeka. He walked towards the closet door, which actually served as the entrance to Washu's lab and knocked on it with his foot.  
  
"Ye-es?" the short, pink-haired scientist asked, answering the door with goggles over her eyes and two vials filled with different coloured fluids in her hands. "Ah, Tenchi, come to help with an experiment?"  
  
"Actually, those two girls from before are back, and this one needs your help, I think," Tenchi answered, looking down at Shadow-chan.  
  
The pink haired genius allowed the vials in her hands to be sucked into her worm-hole transporter, and she motioned towards the inside of her lab. "Bring her in," Washu instructed, "and lie her down on that table."  
  
Tenchi walked into the lab, trailed by Saber, the chibis, and the rest of the people in the household who were curious as to what brought about this dinner-time interruption.  
  
"The lot of you will need to stay here," Washu said, donning a lab coat and some medical gloves. "Except you," she pointed to Saber. "I want you to tell me what happened."  
  
"Knives is what happened," Saber explained, helping wheel Shadow to a different part of the lab, away from the rest of the group. She then explained about Shadow's 'distraction' and how Knives had fired at her with his angel arm. As she explained everything, her cat-tail swished back and forth, betraying the worry that she felt for her friend.  
  
"So that's what happened, huh?" the pink haired scientist queried. "Well, I'm going to run a few tests, but first-" She phased out of appearance and when she re-appeared, she held in her arms a struggling chibi Knives. "First I need to see what exactly we're working with. Don't worry, I'll find out what's going on. And if I may ask..." she gestured to the cat tail and ears.  
  
Saber blushed. "An accident in one of the other universes."  
  
Washu grinned, then waved Saber off to join the others. "Don't worry about her right now. I'm going to see what I can do about getting her stabilized." With that, she made herself, Shadow, and a still-struggling Knives disappear, leaving Saber to her own devices.  
  
"Do you think she's dead yet?" Xellos inquired. Everyone had been waiting for over an hour, yet the pink haired scientist had yet to return. Saber squeaked and looked over at the violet haired mazuko... then began to bawl.  
  
"Why did you have to go and say that?" Vash demanded, wrapping his arms around the crying Saber as best he could.  
  
"Don't worry, Miss Saber," Tsusami said comfortingly. "Miss Washu won't let your friend die."  
  
"Besides," Gene added, "Shadow's too much of a stubborn bitch to die."  
  
"Gene!" Vash scolded.  
  
"He has a point, needle-noggin," Wolfwood agreed. "Knives couldn't even destory her mind, so I think Shadow-chan is made up of stronger stuff than any of us have guessed."  
  
Saber just began to bawl harder, her tail puffed up from worry.  
  
"I think you've made her worse," Ryoko grumbled. Then she blinked, as if noticing something for the first time. And before anyone could say anything or stop her, the space pirate tweaked one of Saber's cat ears. "They're real?" She burst out into laughter, which only made Saber cry even more.  
  
"If you're not going to be helpful, Ryoko, then why don't you just leave?" Ayeka growled.  
  
"As if you-"  
  
"Well, she's stablized," Washu called, appearing out of nowhere and stopping the cat-fight between Ayeka and Ryoko before it even began.  
  
"Is she okay?" Saber asked, her tears stopping for the moment.  
  
"She's okay, or she will be in any case," Washu nodded. "Congratulations, your friend is now half Plant. The pain she was experiencing was do to additional growth and a few other changes her body had to under-go."  
  
"A-additional growth?" Saber asked, blinking away her tears. "How tall is she now?"  
  
"Well, she started out at 5'6" and she's now 5'10". I gave her a sedative so she'll sleep through the rest of it. When she wakes up tomorrow, she'll be taller, but for the most part the same."  
  
"What a relief," Ryoko said, rolling her eyes. Ayeka punched the space pirate on the shoulder.  
  
"Show some decency- this girl was just run through the mill, Ryoko!" the Jurian princess exclaimed. "I'm very glad to hear that Miss Shadow is now doing well. How soon until you think she'll wake up, Washu?"  
  
"Well, she'll be up at some point tomorrow," Washu explained with some forced patience. She glanced over at Saber, whose expression was one of deep thought. "Something eating at you?"  
  
"She's half Plant... what am I supposed to say?" Saberpilot asked. "If this were anything else, I'd be fine with it, but... well, at least it won't be half as worryful as my changes have been," she sighed. "I'm assuming she still looks normal enough?"  
  
"Well, the last I checked, her hair's undergoing a change. I think it'll be safe to say that your friend's brown hair is now going to be longer and a nice shade of royal silver."  
  
"...she is going to KILL Knives."  
  
"Other than that, there's no physical appearance changes save for her growth. Someone is going to have to teach her about controlling the new energies she'll have growing inside her, too. Although I get the feeling that she can get that from Vash," she said, giving the chibi a nod.  
  
"That's good to h-hear," Saber said, passing out. The girl's worry had drained most of her energy, and now that she knew everything was going to be okay, she gave herself over to unconciousness. Washu smiled, then thought of something, reaching into the girl's pocket.  
  
"I think she'd agree with this decision," she smiled, and reversed the chibi ray's effects on Vash, who blinked up at Washu.  
  
"Why-"  
  
"Someone needs to take care of her. Not only does she worry herself sick, it looks like she's gone through some genetic changes of her own. Stabilized they may be, but they're still fairly new- even if it's only a month recent, it takes about a year for the body to fully accept genetic implantation. And-" she smiled and winked at Vash, "she needs someone that cares for her right about now."  
  
She then glanced at Alucard and shrugged. "Eh, what the hell," she said, and fired it on him, allowing the vampire to regain his full stature. She didn't even have to say a word, the vampire disappearing to wherever Shadow was being kept.  
  
"...What about me?" Kish demanded. "Shouldn't I be made full size to help out, too?"  
  
"...I think you're a little young for her," Washu said, nodding towards the unconcious Saber that Vash now held in his arms. "Besides... I like to at least keep most of the genetic pairings the same. Plant genetics are closer to humans than yours are, you little elvish spri-"  
  
"Shh!" Kish said, sweatdropping as he spoke. Washu grinned and nodded. She looked over the other chibis and smiled.  
  
"I'm sure we'll find some space here to let you sleep." She looked over towards Ayeka.  
  
"Why don't you go and talk to Tenchi about helping set them up for the night?" The princess smiled and went to go about her duty, Ryoko complaining on her heels about the girl getting the honor of talking to Tenchi. Washu nodded towards Vash.  
  
"Since they're out of my hair..." she muttered, then smiled. "Why don't you bring her along and come into my lab? I want to double check that whatever's happened to her is stabilized."  
  
Ryou, about to follow Tenchi, who'd come back to collect the chibis, turned and gave Washu an evil glare. "She's perfectly fine. I'm the one who came up with the genetic manipulative serum that's-"  
  
"Hush, you. I've got over two millenia experience and respect over you, so just keep quiet and let me double check." The pink haired genius directed Ryou to follow Tenchi, then motioned for Vash to follow her.  
  
"So, tell me exactly how this happened," she started, the Plant following her into the depths of her laboratory...  
  
"Ugh..." Shadow-chan awoke with a grunt, placing her hand to her forehead as she did so. "That was something I'd not like to repeat," she sarcastically whispered aloud to herself. As she touched her hair, she realized the texture felt different.  
  
"...what exactly happened?" she queried, not exactly remembering everything that happened after she'd been hit by Knives's chibi angel arm. "Where... Alu-san?" She had just noticed the red-clad vampire standing next to her bed, standing over her, which meant he'd been de-chibified... somehow.  
  
"Am I dead yet?"  
  
"No, you are not deceased," Alucard answered.  
  
"So I'm not dead yet? This is an improvement." She ran her hand through her hair, which she noticed was a bit longer as well. "Why... why is my hair different? It's not coarse like usual and it's... longer." She pulled a lock of her bangs down in front of her eyes. "Oh. My. God."  
  
"Is something the matter?"  
  
"Where are my glasses? I have to be seeing things." Alucard handed Shadow her lightly tinted glasses, which the girl put on, then looked at her hair again. "I'M GOING TO KILL KNIVES!" Alucard simply smirked. His smirk faded when Shadow began to weep though. Not knowing what to do, he awkwardly placed a gloved hand on her shoulder.  
  
"I can't have grey hair," she wept. "I'll look like such a freak. How am I supposed to explain everyone that I left in the morning with short brown hair and come back with long silver hair?"  
  
"You are hardly a freak," Alucard stated, not sure what else to say. So he just left his hand on her shoulder, trying to be comforting.  
  
"Ah, so you're awake," Washu said, walking into the room. "I just want to do a quick check-up." She noticed Shadow's tears and shook her head softly. "Well, you're handling this better than most people would, I think." She removed Shadow's glasses and when the collegiate protested Washu hushed her. "You don't need these anymore."  
  
"But they're not correctional for distance-wise," Shadow protested. "They stop double vision and-"  
  
"Trust me, dear," Washu smiled gently. "You won't need them." The pink-haired genius sat down on the edge of the table where shadow'd been lying and smiled at the now silver-haired girl. She placed her hand on Shadow-chan's and looked into the girl's eyes, which she didn't bother to tell her had been changed from their hazel to a light green.  
  
"There are a lot worse things that could have happened, Shadow. You're lucky that I was able to get you stabilized because of Saberpilot bringing you here. That was smart on her part. For instance..." she started, then stopped. "No, it's better not to tell you what could have happened. It'd just scare you." She then gave her a smile.  
  
"But look on the bright side of things here," Washu smiled. "Your hair is almost unbreakable at this point- very silky and easily styleable. You now have perfect vision, you're four inches taller-"  
  
"...WHAT?" Shadow-chan nearly jumped.  
  
"Calm down," Washu smiled nervously. "It's another one of the changes I mentioned. You'll just be... much taller than your comrade now."  
  
"Saber's going to bawl her eyes out- she already has a height complex as it is!"  
  
"Quiet," Alucard hissed. "If you keep this up, you will stress yourself out, and then all the work this one accomplished may be made undone."  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Saber wanted to see you whenever you woke up, but Vash is watching over her at this moment- the last I checked, she was still asleep. You're lucky. From what I checked, your genetic transformation was less damaging than hers. Plant genetics are closer to a human's than a cat's. Go figure," Washu grinned.  
  
"In any case, I'm glad to see you're up and about. Would you like me to tell Saber and the others you'll be okay?"  
  
"...I guess," Shadow responded, placing her palm on her face. "I just-"  
  
"It's a change, I'll agree," Washu shrugged. "Unfortunately, however it bonded itself to your genetics is unreversable. Same for Saberpilot. The most I can do is speed up the process to it becoming melded- it'll make you both more at ease, but that's the best I can do."  
  
"Thanks," Shadow-chan smiled. "Tell Saber I'll be fine."  
  
"Will do," Washu smiled and winked. "In the meantime, I'll leave you two alone." With that, she winked out of existance into the shadows of her lab, leaving the vampire and half-Plant alone.  
  
"Alu-san..." Shadow started to tear up again. "What am I going to do? I look like such a freak of nature- and if Washu's right, I'm nearly six feet tall! Girls aren't supposed to be that tall- we're supposed to be five foot six or so- what I was earlier!"  
  
The vampire placed his hand on her shoulder again, and Shadow felt herself disappear from where she laid, then reappear next to the bed. When she blinked, she realized that she was standing next to Alucard, who was holding her steady so she wouldn't fall.  
  
She looked back at him and realized that she still had to look up to him. A toothy grin answered her.  
  
"You see? Height is not an issue," Alucard growled at the now silver-haired Shadow-chan. "Besides, your hair reflects your wise nature now."  
  
"A-Alu-san?"  
  
Shadow-chan passed out in his arms. As the vampire kept her from falling to the floor and hurting herself, he gave himself a small grin in appreciation of keeping her safe.  
  
If truth be told, it felt good to hold this breathing, living flesh in his arms. He didn't know why, but something about her... intrigued him. Something made her seem as though it was right to want to have her in his arms. Alucard placed her back on the level top where she'd been laying and sighed, although it was a satisfying sigh.  
  
He stood back and watched her behind his red glasses. Whenever she woke up, he'd be waiting.  
  
"I don't wanna get up," Saberpilot complained as she felt a pair of hands lifting her off the little chair bed that she'd been somehow laid upon. She stretched, feeling her cat ears twitch as she yowled a yawn.  
  
"Come on," Vash said, smiling at the blonde cat-girl. "Shadow-chan's awake now, and better than ever. Everyone's waiting for you, so you need to wake up."  
  
Saber yawned again. "Do I really have to?" she complained.  
  
"Yes," Vash said with a grin. "I could carry you down the stairs," he winked. Saber had closed her eyes and was already half asleep again. Vash shook his had, gently shaking the girl awake and helping her down the stairs. Ryoko gave the couple a cat-like grin as they passed and Vash tinged a bit pink at the cheeks.  
  
"Are you STILL asleep?" Shadow demanded from her seat at the table where she and Tsusami had been discussing different recipes. "Lord, Lady, and all that is holy, how many hours of sleep do you need in any given day?"  
  
Shadow's answer from Saber was a loud yawn. Shadow rolled her eyes.  
  
"Well, now that you're out of serious condition," Kiyone stated, walking into the room, "we need to have a talk about your universe jumping."  
  
Again Shadow rolled her eyes. "As far as I'm concerned your superiors in the Galactic Police Headquarters can cry me a river, build me a bridge, and hang themselves on it. Their policies don't apply to us."  
  
Kiyone looked flustered. "Now... now that's not-"  
  
"Look, we're on a mission. They can kiss our asses for all I care. Let us do our job and they can leave us alone. Unless of course they would rather be ruled by a bunch of useless creatures that can only speak one word in their entire existance... so if they give you a hastle just say they can deal with me personally."  
  
"You... tread a very dangerous line, do you know that?" Ayeka inquired slowly.  
  
"You're not so bad, kid," Ryoko grinned.  
  
"Kid?" Shadow asked, her eyebrow twitching.  
  
"Oh, don't have a litter of kittens or anything," Ryoko said in an off-handed manner.  
  
"Ryoko, be nice," Tsusami scolded.  
  
"Shadow..." Saber said slowly, noting that her comrade wasn't wearing her glasses. "You really do look different."  
  
"Oh, thank you so much," Shadow replied sarcastically. "What gave it away, the fact that my jeans now fit like capris or the fact that my hair is long and the colour of melted silver?"  
  
"Well... that and your eyes."  
  
"What about my eyes?" Shadow asked. "I haven't looked in a mirror since before we left home."  
  
"Well... you're eyes aren't hazel anymore," Saber explained. "They're green."  
  
"Okay, so let me get this straight, not only am I 5'10", have long silver hair, but now I have green eyes too? This just gets better and better..."  
  
"You'll get used to it," Washu murmured. "Just- you dyed your hair, and you're wearing green contacts. Nothing that can't be explained.  
  
"The height?"  
  
"Well, everyone has growth spurts," Kiyone reasoned, still not pleased with the dimensional transporters. "Just- yours came about in the course of one day. Or... um..."  
  
"That IS going to be hard to explain," Saber reasoned. "But... hey, people have uncontrollable spurts all the time. Why should you be any different? That's what we'll go with. And if anyone has a problem, well... you can use that height to your advantage."  
  
"Great," Shadow answered, rolling her eyes. "And I thought Saber's new look was going to create a stir-"  
  
"We have to HIDE my changes- yours are easy. New contacts, hair dye, and a growth spurt. That's what we'll say." Saberpilot looked up at Vash, who lowered the girl to the ground, where he helped her stabilize herself so that she could stand. "Look. You were the one who kept telling me I didn't look like a freak, right? Well, think of it this way- at least your changes can be reasonably explained. Mine can't."  
  
"...good point," Shadow stated, then stood up with her hand balled into a fist. "We'll just have to make the best of it, that's all. As much as I dislike it, there's nothing I can really do about it-"  
  
"Except take these," Washu exclaimed, smiling as she held out two bottles of pills. She handed one to Saber and tossed the other to Shadow. "These will speed up the genetic merging- it'd be too dangerous to separate the genetics, so this is the only solution I can think of. It'll end up making things easier. And help you-" she pointed to Saber, "not lose your balance with that tail of yours."  
  
"In any case, we should be going," Ryou grumbled. "You two do have school to attend, don't you?"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"...something tells me they really don't care about that at the moment, Ryou," Wolfwood suggested to the chibi blonde.  
  
"You know," Gene started, "Those two somehow seemed to have regained their full height," he said, nodding to Alucard and Vash. "So... why couldn't, you know, someone like me have their full height restor-"  
  
"Absolutely not," Ryoko stated. "Haven't had a man try and grab my chest as much as this little one has. I can't imagine what he'd do if he was full-size."  
  
"Hey, I'm not THAT big a pervert," Gene stated. "I was only trying to get a look, not grab them."  
  
"...riiight," Kish stated. "You humans are as filthy in your minds as you are with the world you live in."  
  
"-shut up, Elf Boy," Wolfwood spat. Xellos smiled amid all the verbal chaos.  
  
"Now this is my kind of environment!"  
  
"SHUT UP, XELLOS!" Everyone yelled at the chibi, who calmly sat with a large grin on his face.  
  
"Well, we'd better get going," Shadow stated. "Much as we hate to agree with Ryou, we DO have school to attend, and places to be. So without further adeiu," she pulled out the DGT and held it in front of her, "we must be going."  
  
Grabbing the chibis close, she, Saber, Vash, and Alucard disappeared into a black hole that sucked them in. Ayeka sighed as soon as they were gone- a sigh not of despair, but thankfulness.  
  
"Well, there's one problem out of the way. Now, Lord Tenchi-"  
  
Just then another black hole appeared, this one with electric sparks on its sides. Tsusami hid behind her sister, and Ryoko made her light sword appear, holding it in front of her for whomever tried to exit the hole.  
  
"I am NOT missing another meal," she spat as a duo of people appeared. As Yue-chan and Janie Forka rose out of the black hole they'd created, their eyes were wide- Yue's with recognition, Janie's with fear.  
  
"Oh, Fu-"  
  
Hildebrant stood outside of Shadow-chan's door, knocking for what seemed the upteenth time. The young man had come around almost fifteen times today, waiting for the brown-haired girl to return. He'd even left about five messages on her door.  
  
"Where the hell are you, Shadow?" He asked, sighing.  
  
Just then a loud noise came from inside the room, and he panicked, slamming into the door, yelling.  
  
"SHADOW! Are you okay? SHADOW!!"  
  
"I- who is that?" a female voice inquired. A few seconds later, the door opened due to Hildebrant's constant worry, revealing a very big pile comprised of wriggling chibis and humans- three of them very large, one with a set of cat ears and tail. Shadow-chan stood up and held her head in her palms, then started to sway, being caught by Hildebrant as she nearly fell to the ground.  
  
"Who- what- Shadow?!?" Hildebrant blinked, staring at the green-eyed and silver-haired college student that laid in his arms. She blinked right back at him.  
  
"Hi-Hildebrant? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Waiting for you. What the hell happened to you? Where the hell have you been? I've stopped by at least two or three times-" he said, playing down his many visits to see if she was back yet, "but-" Just then Saber stood up and stretched, her cat tail limberly curling outward and joining the rest of her limbs.  
  
"What the hell-"  
  
"We can explain. Really," Shadow-chan tried to start, only to fall back down into Hildebrant's arms. She then found herself transported into another set of strong arms, this pair belonging to Alucard, who laid the college student on her bed. Hildebrant blinked.  
  
"Um... when did he become full sized again?" he asked, pointing at the vampire. A pair of red eyes behind similarly colored glasses stared back at the young man. Saberpilot darted forward and placed her arms between he and Hildebrant.  
  
"Calm down, boys, calm down." Apparently the blonde had sprung up with her cat-like reflexes from the pile of bodies and had put herself between the two boys. Vash was right behind her, helping her hold the two at bay, not noticing that Kish was fighting to escape the pile of chibis to fight for 'his' girl Saber.  
  
"Calm down? What the hell happened to Shadow? And you- you're a- you're a cat-girl!"  
  
"It was an accident that happened whenever we visited the Tokyo Mew Mew universe," Saber explained, a sweatdrop forming on her brow. "And Shadow- well, let's just say that Knives didn't agree with her."  
  
"Knives? Was someone trying to torture Shadow?" Hildebrant asked, worried. He pointed at Alucard. "Was it him? Did he trick you into making him full-size?"  
  
"No, no, no, NO!" Saberpilot exclaimed, tears welling. "It's not that at all- we've just- hit a few setbacks from trying to prevent Janie from taking over the universes-" she held Hildbrant back from Alucard, the human being the only one after the other. Alucard seemed rather bored with the entire situation, and apparated next to Shadow, stroking her face.  
  
"The transportation seems to have tired her out," Wolfwood mentioned to the vampire. The chibi priest was standing next to the bed, keeping watch over the girl. In point of fact, Shadow-chan seemed to have passed out from the travel.  
  
"Huh. Think I could-" Gene started, a cat-like grin coming to his lips.  
  
"I wouldn't. I don't think you'd want to become vampire food," Ryou told the outlaw.  
  
"Oy vey," Wolfwood exclaimed, watching as Hildebrant tried to get around Alucard's protective gaze and hovering about Shadow-chan. Ryou raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Aren't you a priest? Shouldn't a rabbi say that instead?"  
  
"A man of God's a man of God. And God, I hope this ends soon," He remarked, continuing to watch the antics of Hildebrant, Alucard, and Saberpilot.  
  
"God..."  
  



	11. Side Quest 2

A/N: Seriously, though, we don't own CANADA! huffs It's not even funny, the amount of e-mails we've gotten asking us if we own the country- we don't, get it? It's final!  
  
Shadow-chan whispers into Saber's ear  
  
Oh! And we don't own any of the anime characters presented in here, including Xenogears, Trigun, Hellsing, Outlaw Star, Slayers...or any of the references to thereof. IN ANY CASE, onto the second side quest!  
  
Gene Starwind sat down on the floor, watching Kos-mos clean Saberpilot's room. The younger college student, Shadow-chan, had been appauled at the idea of having Kos-mos stay in her room, because she abhorred cleaning. So... the persocom had been moved into Saberpilot's dorm room.  
  
"Is something the matter, Master Starwind?" the red-haired persocom asked, smiling. Gene shook his head, his smile slightly cat-like.  
  
"No, no- you continue to clean up, don't mind me," he motioned with his hand towards the insides of the room, whose contents were now a lot cleaner.  
  
"Pervert," Wolfwood muttered at the redhead. Today, it had been designated Saberpilot's turn to watch the chibis- much to her roomate's chagrin. The other college student had been planning to work on a paper- with a boy- but found herself relocating to his room, so weirded out by the small bishonen was she.  
  
"And so what if I am?" the outlaw smiled.  
  
"Saberpilot won't like it if when she returns, she finds you still staring at her chest," the priest pointed out.  
  
"Screw Saberpilot," Gene muttered off-handedly. "If it weren't for her and that friend of hers, Shadow-chan, we'd never even be here."  
  
"Agreed," Xellos muttered from his own corner, his tone slightly acidic. "I came to help fight and create chaos, not to be humiliated." He blew out a puff of frustrated air. "And the second is all I have recieved."  
  
"Keep it down," the blonde chibi Vash exclaimed, putting a finger to his lips. "She's coming-" He pointed out the dorm room window, where he saw the blonde Saberpilot entering the building. Wolfwood raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You've been watching for her for the past hour or so. Anything you want to tell me, pal?"  
  
The gunner remained quiet for a second, his cheeks slightly pinkening for some odd reason. Ignoring him, Xellos continued his rant.  
  
"And furthermore, this one is worse- she's so easily tricked- and stupid, on top of that. If I had to spend my day with one of them, why'd it have to be her? I'd rather be spending it with the other one- Shadow-chan. At least that one's not gullible and makes us stay here for 'our own protection'. Please."  
  
"Uh- Xellos-" Wolfwood tried to point behind the chibi, but he paid no attention.  
  
"The only thing I need protected from is idiotic people like her."  
  
A stifled sob accompanied Xellos' last words, and the chibi just as he heard a large object fall onto the ground. Saberpilot was standing in the doorway, tears welling in her eyes. She collapsed onto her knees and started to cry, hurt by Xellos' words. Wolfwood gritted his teeth together.  
  
"Look what you did, you asshole!" The chibi picked up his punisher and held it towards the mazuko. He pointed towards Saberpilot. "You had to do that, didn't you?"  
  
"I create chaos," Xellos said simply, smiling. He shrugged happily, and held out his palms. "It's what I do."  
  
"Saberpilot- Miss Saber-" Vash started, running over to the bawling college student. "Please- please don't cry. I'm sure he didn't mean it," he said, then gave Xellos an evil glare.  
  
"Tell me you didn't."  
  
"I told you, it's what I do," Xellos said, smiling. He sat back and stretched his arms.  
  
Gene held his hands over his ears, in pain from Saber's wailing. "Can someone PLEASE shut her up?"  
  
Kos-mos blinked, unsure of what to do. "Miss? Miss Saberpilot?"  
  
The blonde continued to whimper. Alucard, having being silent this entire time, let out a small sigh, then appeared next to the wailing girl. Saberpilot blinked in confusion when he appeared before her.  
  
"Silence, human. Words have no threat behind them- only actions," he stated.  
  
Saberpilot blinked, then closed her eyes, appearing meditative. Vash looked at Wolfwood, and the priest shook his head, just as confused. Alucard nodded slightly to himself, then reappeared back in his usual haunt of Saberpilot's room- right beside the bed, where it was darkest.  
  
"Saber?" Vash asked. "...Saber?"  
  
The girl slowly nodded, then opened her eyes, revealing a very mature expression. She pushed herself up off of her knees and set to work, picking up the contents of the bag she'd dropped, which turned out to be food. Gene raised his eyebrows at this sudden change of attitude. Wolfwood glanced at Alucard.  
  
"What'd you do to her?"  
  
"Do to her? Nothing. I merely reminded her of her training," the vampire stated.  
  
"Training?"  
  
"I overheard Shadow speaking at one time about how this young woman had learned the artistry of martial defense. So had my protege in Hellsing, and during a training exercise I performed the same feat, with the same results. They are very similar, so I assumed the technique would work."  
  
"And that technique would be...?"  
  
"Reminding me that even though others disagree with me does not make me wrong," Saber answered, having cleaned up all the food items she'd picked up. Seconds later, Kos-mos walked over and helped her place all the food into Saber's fridge.  
  
"Would you like me to prepare this later?" the red-haired persocom asked gently. Saberpilot, after a moment, smiled and waved her off.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I've been meaning to cook, after all."  
  
"Actually..." Wolfwood said, smiling. "I've got a better idea. Why don't you let Kos-mos cook and you can answer a few questions I've got."  
  
Saber blinked. "Q-Questions?"  
  
"That sounds good to me, too," Gene added, crossing his arms. "I have a few things that I'd like to ask you about this supposed 'plan' of yours."  
  
"Plan? Questions?..." the blonde looked plain confused, and it was then that Vash placed a chibi hand on Saber's leg. He smiled up at her, and Saberpilot calmed down, sitting. She motioned to Kos-mos.  
  
"Kos-mos, why don't you call down Shadow-chan. I'm sure she could answer some of these boys' questions, too. And while you're at it- since you're so eager to... why don't you go ahead and cook."  
  
"Thank you, Miss Saberpilot," the persocom said, picking up the food items and gathering them together. "I should have something together in about half an hour." With that, she placed the food into a nearby bag and took the phone off the reciever, calling Shadow-chan.  
  
"Miss Shadow? Saber requests that you come down to her dorm room immediately. Thank you." With that, the persocom hung up and smiled. "She'll be right down." With that, Kos-mos practically skipped out of the room towards the dorm's kitchenette.  
  
Minutes later, Shadow-chan knocked on the open door of Saber's room. "You called?"  
  
"Yeah," Saber grinned. "The boys here have a few questions." Shadow threw the blonde a saddened glance, then looked at the chibi bishounen.  
  
"What did you threaten her with?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing, actually," Wolfwood smiled. "She's quite an honest young lady." Saber blushed, touched by the compliment. Shadow-chan sighed.  
  
"That's not a compliment, Saber," she pointed out to the blonde, but to no avail. The girl was already off in la-la land.  
  
"Well, since I'm here anyways," Shadow sighed. "Why not? Throw them forward, boys."  
  
"Well," Vash started, looking up at Saber, on who the effects of the 'compliment' were starting to wear off, "why do we never see you go to class? I mean, you said that this is a college where you learn things, right? But... we never see you actually going. You're always in your room."  
  
"Well," Saber started, thinking for a moment. She then raised her finger. "That's easy! First off, we DO go to class. You just never see us leaving because I have doubles made of us that stay here."  
  
"...WHAT?" Wolfwood asked, raising an eyebrow. "But- that's-"  
  
"Impossible, I know," Shadow-chan smiled. "I know it seems that way, but trust me. Saber concocted an invention a while ago that allows us to literally be in two places in once- Show them, Saber."  
  
"Certainly," the blonde said calmly, picking a piece out of her pocket that looked like a coin. She pressed the coin on both sides, and suddenly another Saber sat next to her. However, this copy didn't exactly copy Saber's actions, sitting indian-style while the original kneeled.  
  
"...that's scary," Gene muttered. "...is that like, cloning or something?"  
  
"Hardly," Saber 1 said, smiling. "We're not one of the tomatoes or anything like that." Alucard raised an eyebrow, then sniffed both. Seconds later, he drew back in slight surprise.  
  
"They're both real. Not a hologram or anything."  
  
"No matter," Saber 2 answered. "Here. We'll fix it so you're not so uncomfortable." With that, the original Saber pressed the button on her coin-like invention, and soon there was only one Saber sitting in front of them. She giggled.  
  
"...why are you at a college like this?" Wolfwood asked. "From what I've heard of others, with skills like those, you could go almost anywhere-"  
  
"The world's not exactly ready for our little Saber just yet," Shadow-chan smiled.  
  
"I came here because it's a small college near home- it doesn't draw too much attention," Saber smiled. She then looked at the chibis with a wide grin. "Any other questions?"  
  
Alucard smiled. "Can I feed on one of your doubles?"  
  
"No," Shadow snapped. "Next question."  
  
"Where exactly are we?" Xellos asked. "You keep referring to this place as 'Earth Prime' and yet, I have no way to figure out where we are. For all I know, this could be another fanfic that we've been stuck in."  
  
"...well," Shadow-chan said, sweatdropping slightly, "Earth Prime is a place divided into seven continents," she started, and explained the general nature of Earth to the chibis... except for Vash and Alucard, who amused themselves by playing with their chibi guns.  
  
As they did, Alucard's teeth became slightly pronounced, and he held out his gun towards Saberpilot. "WHY is my Jackal squirting WATER instead of BULLETS?!?!" he asked, angrier than either college student had ever seen him.  
  
"Um... because chibis with real working weapons isn't a good idea? Or cute?" Saber asked, backing away from the chibi Vampire's water gun.  
  
"This is not amusing," Alucard added his two cents. Shadow-chan grinned, finished with her explanation to Wolfwood, Xellos, and Gene.  
  
"But it's so cute, Alu-san!" She said, scooping up the chibi vampire into a hug. Alucard looked peeved.  
  
"...that still does not satisfy my question," he said.  
  
"Tough cookies, next question," Shadow ordered.  
  
"He's a vampire, right?" Gene asked, pointing to Alucard. Shadow and Saber both nodded. "So why isn't he turning into a pile of dust?"  
  
"... sunscreen," Shadow answered.  
  
"Sunscreen?"  
  
"Sunscreen."  
  
"...you scare me, did I tell you that?"  
  
Shadow-chan preened under the 'compliment'.  
  
"She has no idea that he's insulting her, does she?" Wolfwood asked Saber. Saberpilot shook her head no and sighed. Wolfwood shook his head as well. "They say God has a sense of humor, but do I honestly have to be in the middle of all His laughs? God..."  
  
"Miss Shadow? Saberpilot?" A flutey voice came from the doorway, and Kos-mos's redhaired head revealed itself. "Brunch is served if you'll come downstairs."  
  
The chibis and Saber didn't waste a moment, jumping up and following the persocom, leaving Shadow-chan alone in Saber's room for a moment.  
  
"Never a dull moment, is there?" she wondered, following at a more casual pace. After all, Kos-mos would need to make seconds and thirds, anyways...  
  
Saber: Well that's it for this round of 20 questions.  
  
Shadow: This contest was brought to you by the letter "A", the number "27" and the word "boobs".  
  
Saber: ... -.-' you scare me too. . Until next time folks! Bai! 


	12. Hanyou and Other Things

Disclaimer: we still don't own anything.  
  
Shadow: I own the galactic hampsters.  
  
Saber: -.-'  
  
Genesis: ... and now back to the show.

* * *

The dorm room was set in dark shadows as the chibis and Saber slept. Vash, no longer a chibi, was stretched out on the floor next to the bunk-beds where Saber and Shadow slept. The rest of the chibis were sleeping in various areas around the room. All of them were deep asleep except for Shadow, who was sitting on her bed, dressed in a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a t-shirt. Her now-silver hair was tied up in a pair of buns, one on each side of her head, and sitting in her lap was a bag of powdered doughnuts.  
  
"I can't believe I'm eating breakfast," Shadow grumbled, biting into one of the powdered doughnuts. "Stupid Knives. Stupid Plants. Stupid-" Her reply was muffled as she finished off the the first doughnut and started on her second. "Why do Plants have to be hungry in the morning? I don't like eating breakfa- hey, I'm almost out of doughnuts?" The silver-haired young woman blinked, a sad look coming upon her face.  
  
"Doughnuts?" Vash murmured from the floor. Shadow peered over the top bed, looking down at the now half-awake Vash the Stampede and narrowed her eyes as he sat up.  
  
"Mine," Shadow stated, taking a purposeful bite out of the pastry.  
  
Vash was wide awake now, and the gunner was looking at Shadow pleadingly. "Won't you share, Miss Shadow? Just- just one?"  
  
"No," Shadow stated through a mouthful of doughnut. "It's your brother's fault that I'm eating breakfast as it is. When I used to wake up during the mornings, I had no sense of hunger. Now what do I do? I wake up extremely hungry, and for something sweet!" She threw up her hands in frustration. "This is all the store had. Go buy your own, you're tall enough now."  
  
Vash was on his feet now, trying to reach the bag of doughnuts, while Shadow stood up on her bed, pressing herself as close to the wall as possible. "Come on, just one!"  
  
"Not a chance, Vash."  
  
"Plea-"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"What is going on?" came an annoyed grumble from below. "Vash... Shadow? What are the two of you doing?"  
  
"Saber?" Shadow inquired, lowering her guard for one moment, which Vash used to snatch the bag, and the last doughnut with it.  
  
"Victory!" the gunner cheered, holding up the powdered fry-cake.  
  
"Hey!" Shadow protested. "That's mine!" She jumped off of the bed and onto Vash's back, trying to get at the doughnut, but Vash quickly shoved the pastry into his mouth... whole. Shadow slid down to the floor and sighed, disappointed. "Oh..." She looked like she was ready to cry.  
  
"All of that," Saber growled, "for a doughnut? For a single doughnut?!"  
  
"... yes?"  
  
Shadow found herself on the recieving end of a pillow, which landed right in her face. "... ow."  
  
"Screw the doughnut. I'd only fight over something like sushi this early in the morning... you weirdos," Saber yowled, yawning. As she did, it became frighteningly obvious to Shadow how large the girl's canines had become since her transformation, and she grimaced, then rolled her eyes.  
  
"You idiot. Only you would think that sushi is better in the morning... that's not fair, Vash... it was my last doughnut..."  
  
"But I'm hungry too!" the gunner protested. Shadow-chan rolled her eyes, then pounced on Saber's knapsack, pulling out the chibi ray and firing it upon the red-clad Stampede. The formerly taller man shrunk down in size, his expression one of hurt.  
  
"...that was mean," he cried, and ran to Saber, who gave him a big hug. Saber glared at Shadow-chan, not noticing that Vash had an eyebrow raised towards the silver-haired girl. Shadow-chan's internalized anger boiled, and as she did, the nearby cactus that had belonged to Shadow's twinling started to twitch slightly.  
  
"Um... Shadow?" Saber started to point towards the plant, not noticing that Shadow-chan was completely ignoring her.  
  
"You. Ate. My. Last. DOUGHNUT!" She screamed, accomplishing two things. The first was that the cactus, which had apparently been Yue-chan's pride and joy, exploded. The second was that all people inside the room, full size or chibi, were now completely awake. This being the case, it was not long before Alucard was holding the half-Plant Shadow at bay.  
  
"You wake too many people up," the vampire complained, his eyes twitching slightly. Ryou, Gene, and Wolfwood appeared to be glaring at the half-Plant, Gene worst of the three.  
  
"Some people were TRYING to SLEEP," he grumbled. Ryou raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Too much alcohol last night?"  
  
"...shut up, you."  
  
"What time is it?" Kish complained from the floor. Apparently the chibi alien had been enjoying a nice dream, as he was hugging the little pillow Shadow-chan had given him tightly the entire night through. "...What's happening? What did you-" He suddenly noticed the remains of the cactus, and it was though a stick of dynamite went off.  
  
"What the-the- YOU-" he pointed at Shadow-chan, his eyes glowing a slight red. He flew into the air, pulling out his set of throwing knives... which now seemed to be made of plastic instead of steel. He held one towards Shadow's throat, not seeming to care that they had no mortally dangerous value.  
  
"YOU KILLED IT!"  
  
"...ears. Just- ears... ughh..." Wolfwood complained. Apparently the priest had joined Gene in his efforts after the chance meeting with Hildebrant last night.  
  
"YOU KILLED IT!" Kish screeched again. Saber, upset, had her feline instincts take over, her ears and tail sprouting, her tail puffed up.  
  
"Quiet- you're scaring-" Shadow-chan tried to start, but Kish was already too peeved off.  
  
"YOU- You are DIRECTLY responsible for that- that innocent plant's DEATH. How COULD YOU?"  
  
"...But I'm not dead," Vash blinked.  
  
"Oh... oh crap!" Shadow-chan exclaimed, blinking at the remnants of the cactus. "I did that? Oh man, Yue's gonna kill me when she sees this! Wait, I know! I'll get her a new cactus. She'll never know the difference!"  
  
"Shadow?" Saberpilot inquired, blinking with her large blue eyes. She felt rather sarcastic, and her next words were saturated with it. "I think she's going to notice the difference."  
  
"Do you even CARE that you've killed that plant and ruined a piece of NATURE?" Kish demanded angrily, shaking his chibi fists.  
  
"What, do you want me to give it a funeral?" Shadow-chan asked. The alien crossed his arms and sniffed.  
  
"It'd be the LEAST you could do. You stupid humans. Messing up every single little thing you see- and you wonder WHY we want you off this planet..."  
  
"I'm sorry, Kish, really I am. I have no idea how I even did it. Ask him." She pointed her finger at Vash. "He's the full Plant, not me. I'm new at this." The Stampede blinked.  
  
Shadow-chan snapped a finger, thinking of something. She then grabbed an empty container, placing the bits and pieces of the cactus inside. After removing the spines she stuck it in the microwave. "Dearly beloved," she began, trying not to snicker, "we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of...umm.. what did she call it...?"  
  
"Bob, I think," Saber mewed.  
  
"Bob," Shadow stated, with all the dignity she could manage... which wasn't much.  
  
"Bob?" Ryou repeated, with a touch of sarcasm. Kish threw the blonde chibi a glare.  
  
"Respect the dead, you ignorant human!"  
  
The microwave dinged and Shadow took out the container, mashing it up and adding salt to it. "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust..." She added some pepper as well, then scarfed down the mashed plant. She then gestured towards her stomach, still trying to maintain some level of dignity.  
  
"And here lies Bob. May he rest in peace."  
  
Everyone stared at her, Kish looking terribly affronted, everyone else just looking stunned. Shadow looked at him and shrugged.  
  
"What?! At least I didn't waste him."  
  
"Well..." Gene said slowly. "Technically you did."  
  
"...you call that a CEREMONY? YOU BLEW HIM UP, YOU STUPID BIT-"  
  
"You mean like YOU got wasted last night, smart guy?" Shadow-chan retorted to Gene... and ignoring Kish. "You reek of alcohol. Don't even try to-"  
  
"STOP IT!" Saber cried out, her hands holding down the flaps of her cat ears, which were shivering with fear. Everyone blinked at her, not noticing how much of the fighting had been affecting the blonde's temperament. Shadow-chan took a step towards her.  
  
"Saber, I-"  
  
"NO!" the blonde squealed, her tail on end. She curled up into a ball. "No more fighting. No. No more. No."  
  
"...has she lost her marbles?" Wolfwood blinked.  
  
"...Um, Saber- are you upset? Do you... maybe want some Bob?" Shadow-chan asked, holding out the last bite of the cactus's remains. Kish's left eye started to twitch.  
  
"You're offering HER part of this taint? Part of this... this SACRILAGE? Her? The sweet, innocent one called Saber who seems to be the exact copy of my... my dear ICHIGO? You- You-"  
  
Saber began to bawl, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"Look, you made her cry even more," Shadow said. "Here, Kish, do you want the last bit of Bob?"  
  
"How can you eat that?" Vash asked incredulously, trying to comfort Saber. "Granted, I eat fruit and vegetables, but I've never named them!"  
  
Shadow-chan shrugged, holding back an angry Kish. "Calm down, nature-boy. This cactus isn't the end of the world. Besides, I didn't name it. And forgive me if I seem callous, but it is only seven in the morning."  
  
"And what's done is done," Alucard said, seperating Shadow and Kish, who were circling each other.  
  
"Saber, calm down, the fighting's over," Vash said soothingly, patting the blonde cat-girl on the back. "See," he gestured towards the surroundings, where Alucard was keeping Kish and Shadow separate from each other. "No one's arguing anymore."  
  
Saber peeked, then sniffed, rubbing her eyes. Shadow looked down at her feet.  
  
"I'm sorry for upsetting you, Saber," she mumbled.  
  
"I forgive you," Saber said, wiping away her tears. She then jumped up and gave Shadow a quick hug, the last of her tears being ones of happiness. She grinned. "Well, we're up, thanks to your early morning rampage. Any plans for the day?"  
  
Shadow snatched her DGT from her desk and grinned. "Up for a little dimension hopping?"  
  
"Let me get cleaned up first," Saber said, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. The tail and ears didn't vanish, betraying that she was still, at the very least, worked up. The strawberry blonde grabbed a towel from a nearby shelf, then left the room.  
  
"Right... she's gone now," Shadow said slowly, then lunged for Kish. Alucard caught her, and restrained the fighting girl.  
  
"As much as I would enjoy watching you destroy him, I think you would only cause yourself more problems," the vampire very nearly purred in her ear. Shadow sighed and leaned into him, letting Kish be for the moment.  
  
"I hate it when you're right," she mumbled.  
  
"Ugh, enough with the romance already," Gene mumbled, making gagging sounds. "You people..."  
  
Shadow blushed, then coughed and took a few steps away from the vampire. "Anyways... yeah."  
  
She set about tidying up the few things around the room, despite the fact that Kos-mos had already made sure the place was spotless. It was a sign that Shadow was either nervous or agitated... or both. A little while later Saber came back, washed up and changed into some of the new clothes Shadow had bought. She was even wearing the hat.  
  
"So, where are we off to today?" she asked cheerfully.  
  
"Do we have to go?" Gene whined.  
  
"Yes, you have to go," Shadow ordered. "It's not our fault that you went out and got drunk last night."  
  
"How did you even get the alcohol?" Saber asked suddenly.  
  
She never got the answer, as they were swallowed up by the DGT's black hole.

* * *

A teen girl with long black hair hid behind a tree, watching a young man clad in red with long white hair and a set of white dog ears face off a small horde of small yellow rodent-like creatures. She wasn't the only one watching. A young man dressed in monks' clothing, a small boy with a fox tail, and a tall woman who also had black hair watched the situation.  
  
"What are those things, Kagome?" the little boy with the fox tail asked.  
  
"I don't know," the black haired teen replied.  
  
"Maybe it's a new demon from Naraku," the monk said. "They certainly look like something he'd create."  
  
"Go get 'em, Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted.  
  
The white haired young man glanced back at her and smirked, then swung at one of the rodents, slicing it into oblivion. "This is too easy," Inuyasha snorted. "A bunch of useless rodents? Naraku is slipping."  
  
A girl with large glasses wearing a red cap stood oppiste of Inuyasha and the rodents glaring. "Useless rodents?" she repeated, her eyebrow twitching. Behind her a young man stood, tied up. Beside him stood a young woman with very short brown hair, holding his leash.  
  
"I'll show you useless! Pikachus! Thunder-"  
  
Her attack call was cut off as a black hole opened above the electric pokemon, dumping six chibis, two young women, and one full grown vampire onto the rodent horde. They all landed on the rodents, squishing the pikachus completely.  
  
"My pikachus!"  
  
Janie Forka, Pokemon Otaku at large, gritted her teeth when she noticed who exactly the dumped ones were upon her newly-conquered lawn.  
  
"Ugh," Shadow grumbled, sitting up and grabbing a squished pikachu by the tail and holding it up to look at it. "What the hell?"  
  
"You... you.... you bitch!" Janie screeched.  
  
Saber covered her ears with her palms, the high pitch noise very hurtful. She then looked at Janie with angered and slitted eyes. "What'd ya have to do that for?"  
  
"You bitch- YOU BITCHES!" Janie yelled, noticing Saber. She stamped her foot on the ground, agitated, then grew slightly haughty, placing her hands on her hips.  
  
"HA! You think that you've taken care of me just because you destroyed a MERE FEW Pikachus? HA! HA ha ha ha ha-"  
  
"...who the HELL is this girl?" Inuyasha asked, scratching his head. He pointed at her, then back towards Shadow-chan, who by this time had stood up, Pickachu still in hand. "And who the hell are you?"  
  
"Shadow-chan, at your service," she bowed to the hanyou, holding out the Pikachu towards him. Wolfwood snorted.  
  
"That's MY line, you little-"  
  
"Who's under three feet in height here?" Shadow retorted, then turned to face Janie Forka and her sister, Yue-chan, both of whom were glaring at her.  
  
"So, you've happened upon us FINALLY. And here Yue and I were thinking that we'd never run into you again- we were both kind of hoping that you'd been killed by someone-"  
  
"...not that drastic, but yes, we were hoping you'd have been taken care of..." Yue added.  
  
"In any case, now that you're here, we can give you a preview of what we're about to create in every single universe in which our reign shall occur!" Janie said, her green eyes flaring. She held out her black Pokeball that she used for dimensional hopping towards the Pikachu that Shadow held in her hand.  
  
"What's she going to do with that?" Ryou asked, rolling his eyes. "Run away?"  
  
"Probably," Kish snorted. "They'd take one look at Shadow and run."  
  
The redhead grinned. "Oh, this is no sort of dimensional hopping. This is the ultimate form of my creation. Pokeball Command: REPLICATE!" She yelled, and a black beam came out from the main portion of the Pokeball, settling itself on the Pikachu.  
  
"What the-" Shadow-chan blinked.  
  
Suddenly ten more Pikachu surrounded Shadow, and all of them appeared ready to shock the girl. It was then that Shadow-chan, still clutching the original, found herself in a pair of red-clothed arms, belonging to a certain vampire.  
  
"They're multiplying!" Wolfwood yelled, holding his chibi punisher in front of him. He set it down on the ground and pulled out his miniature pistols, swearing as he did.  
  
"Saber!"  
  
The blonde appeared catatonic, not having moved since covering her ears since earlier. Wolfwood gritted his teeth again, then shoved Vash on the shoulder.  
  
"Blondie- Get your girlfriend out of her self-pity mode- I need her to make us full-size again in order to fight this-" He yelled, then opened the sides of the chibi punisher, pulling out a quick set of chibified guns. Vash blinked, then held out a finger towards Wolfwood.  
  
"She is NOT my girl-"  
  
"What? Isn't she good enough?" Kish asked angrily. He crossed his arms, ignoring the Pikachus that were starting to circle around himself and the other chibis. Vash's expression grew just as angry.  
  
"She is MORE than good enough, but that's not the issue- the issue is-"  
  
"Can someone PLEASE stop these things from getting any closer?" Ryou asked. The normally emotionless blonde was backing away from the yellow menaces. Just then, a large metal blade came into the middle of the creatures trying to come at them. Inuyasha smiled with raised teeth as he watched at least half of the pikachus die before him.  
  
"Here- get over to where those guys are-" he ordered, nodding towards the tree that Kagome, Shippou, Miroku, and Sango were standing at. Wolfwood nodded to the others, and all the chibis headed towards where the hanyou had pointed. Vash and Kish, however, stayed behind whenever they realized that Saber still hadn't moved.  
  
"Saber? What-"  
  
"Leave this piece of garbage in the dust," Janie advised the two chibis, stepping forward. "I recognize this piece of dirt. She's the one who made me cheat in the invention awards so that I could win." She kicked the cat-girl on the side, Saber mewling in pain.  
  
"Such a stupid," she kicked her after the insult, "worthless," and again, "and idiotic piece of shit. You had to go against me, didn't you, Miss Saberpilot? And look where it got you. On the ground, afraid of the very person you tried to stop. On the ground, more worthless than the dirt you lay on." She snorted, then gave one final kick to Saber's side, the girl crying out not just with a scream, but blood that flew from her mouth. Shadow-chan fought Alucard's arms, the vampire trying to keep her from getting into the fray.  
  
"SABER!" She screamed, her green eyes becoming nearly white.  
  
"Hush. This is something she must handle herself," Alucard stated.  
  
"And here you are again, trying to best me. Only this time, you're using a stupid invention called a 'chibi-ray'. Pshaw. You don't even know the basics of being an inventor. What's the use of inventing something if it doesn't-" she held out the black pokeball to a nearby Pikachu that was still alive, against Inuyasha's destructive efforts, "DESTROY THINGS!"  
  
Saber's cat ears perked up to their full length, and her eyes turned to slits. In a split second, she jumped from her position of half-kneeling on the ground and pounced towards the red-haired genius, her expression one of anger. The pokeball fell from Janie's hand onto the ground, but the damage already seemed to have occurred, the Pikachu multiplying once more. In a few seconds, more than a hundred Pikachu littered the ground.  
  
"...Saber?" Shadow-chan called to the blonde, who was now sitting on top of Janie, clawing towards the girl, trying to hurt her any way she could. Shadow's eyes widened. "...Saber? What are you-"  
  
"So, you think it's okay to hurt things, do you?" Saber growled at the redhaired Forka. "You think it's okay to destroy the natural order of things, do you? Well LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, FORKA." She held one hand in the air, and a change appeared to occur in it, claws starting to grow from her fingers. Her blue eyes started to change to a deep green.  
  
Saber knelt down and whispered into Janie's ear. "This isn't over yet, BITC-"  
  
"SABER!"  
  
The blonde girl blinked, then shook her head. She looked down at Janie, then back towards the voice that had called. Vash, in all his chibiness, stood right behind her, panting. He'd apparently ran as fast as he could to the girl.  
  
"Don't- Don't do it, Miss Saber. Don't you see? You'd be no better than her, then," he said. Saber's eyes faded back to their normal blue, and she came back to herself, her eyes wide in shock.  
  
"What- What was I going to-" She blinked, then looked down at Janie, whose eyes were even wider than Saber's, and filled with something much more haunting- fear. Which was replaced by vengance seconds later.  
  
"Don't have the guts. Well, we'll just have to cure that. PIKACHU!"  
  
A hundred sets of beady eyes turned towards Janie's voice, and the crazy Pokemon Otaku smiled with great wrath at Saber.  
  
"THUNDERSHOCK!"  
  
Inuyasha, seeing what was coming, jumped away from the center of the hurricane towards his friends. Kagome held on tightly to the hanyou's arm, watching.  
  
The hoarde of Pikachus readied themselves for the attack, Saber starting to sweat in fear. Shadow-chan fought against Alucard, who eventually gave in to her wishes, transporting himself and Shadow next to the blonde. Shadow-chan pulled at the girl, then nodded to Alucard, who pulled on Vash's hand. The vampire transported them away from the battle, Janie left in the center of the Pikachu circle.  
  
"Oh, Shi-"  
  
The electric sparks could have powered an entire city, causing lightning to fly up and down the vast field. Seconds later, a burnt-looking Janie Forka lay on the ground. Yue-chan ran to her mistress's side, then looked up at Shadow and company, anger in her eyes.  
  
"How? How could you DO this?"  
  
"She did it to herself," Shadow-chan pointed out. She spit at her sister, clearly pissed off. "Get out of here. Before I change my mind and hurt her myself."  
  
Still glaring at Shadow, Yue picked up Janie and walked over to where Ash still sat, picking up his leash. Minutes later, she disappeared into an electrified black hole, her expression hauntingly cold to her sister as she did.  
  
"...Shadow!" Saber cried out, weeping into Shadow-chan's shirt. The blonde seemed overly shaken by the set of events. Shadow-chan shook the girl out of her weeping gently with a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Saber... not now. Not yet. We still have a problem. She left all those Pikachu here-" she said, and gestured towards the hundred yellow creatures that laid in front of them. Saber's eyes grew wide, and she backed away from the creatures.  
  
"I am not doing anything to them. Shadow-"  
  
"Don't worry about it," another voice chipped in. Saber blinked, then looked up into a pair of yellow eyes, belonging to a familiar hanyou. "I can take care of them as long as that freak who controlled them isn't here."  
  
"Is everyone okay?" the black-haired Kagome asked, coming out from behind the tree where she and the others had been hiding. She walked towards where Shadow, Saber, Vash, and Alucard were, then kneeled in front of Saber.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"She'll be fine," Shadow-chan said. "It's these things I'm worried about." She gestured towards the Pikachus, who were blinking innocently.  
  
"I told you, don't worry about it," Inuyasha said, rolling his eyes. "They're mincemeat."  
  
"I don't know about that," Wolfwood grinned. The chibi had apparently decided to crush a few with his chibi punisher while the others had been talking. "They look more like pudding to me." He winked, then waved to Saber.  
  
"You were pretty tough out there, girl. Nice moves."  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Why can't you act like that all the time?" Xellos complained. The chibi seemed disappointed to see that the fierce Saber had disappeared rather than that she was okay.  
  
"Do you want to be the scratch post?" Shadow inquired with a raised eyebrow. Xellos shrugged, as if the option didn't really matter to him. "Mazuko," she muttered, rolling her eyes and taking a step toward Kagome... only to step on the tail of one of the few remaining pikachus. It yelped in pain, then proceeded to shock the three nearest people... which happened to be Shadow, Saber, and Inuyasha.  
  
"WAHHH!" Shadow screeched, falling to the ground, twitching slightly in the middle of a rather large circle of charred dirt and singed trees. Inuyasha was also lying on the ground twitching. Saber, however, was not lying on the ground as a human. She was curled up on the ground, a sandy coloured ball of fur.  
  
"S-she's a cat!" Kagome exclaimed, wide-eyed. "What... how..."  
  
"Ugh..." both Shadow and Inuyasha groaned, sitting up.  
  
"What the hell?" the white haired hanyou demanded, looking around. "One little rodent did all that?!"  
  
"No..." Vash said uncomfortably. "One half-Plant did that." He pointed at Shadow, who blinked.  
  
"What?" she asked. "I charred all of this?"  
  
Vash nodded, then sweatdropped. "I think I'm going to have to give you lessons in control."  
  
"It's not as if I tried to get electrocuted by that stupid thing!" Shadow protested. "Hey. Where's Saber?"  
  
The others had come out from their 'hiding' places to inspect the damage. "Is this her?" the little fox boy inquired, sniffing at the little cat lying curled up.  
  
"Saber?" Vash asked, gently poking at the felinde form to see if it was still alive. "Saber?"  
  
The cat stirred, blinking confusedly. When she looked up and saw that Vash, still chibi, was a LOT bigger than her, she hissed, puffing up her fur so that she looked like a little golden cotton ball.  
  
"Hmm," Ryou mused, inspecting the puffed-up Saber. "The lightning must have shocked the cat genetics into taking over temporarily, despite that other woman's tampering and stabilizing her genes."  
  
"Can it be fixed?" Vash asked.  
  
"Yes," Ryou answered in an off-handed manner. "She just needs a kiss."  
  
"A kiss?" Vash squeaked.  
  
"A kiss?" Kish repeated eagerly. "I can solve this problem-"  
  
"No way!" Vash argued. "There is no way-"  
  
"You're pretty defensive over someone who isn't even your girlfriend," Kish cut in. "And I hear you constantly denying that you two are attached, so don't even try to deny it. So I see no reason why I can't deliver the kiss to change her back."  
  
"I... I..." Vash stammered.  
  
"If you two are going to argue over this, I'll solve the problem," Ryou growled, annoyed with the fighting.  
  
"No," Shadow stepped in, holding Ryou back with a hand gesture. "Let them work this out. If they don't figure something out then I'll give them a plan to solve it."  
  
"Can't you just give them the plan now?" Wolfwood asked.  
  
"Where's the fun in that?" Shadow grinned.  
  
"I knew there was a reason I liked you," Xellos purred.  
  
Saber, in the meantime was rubbing frantically against Shadow's ankles, mewing repeatedly.  
  
"Oh Saber," Shadow sighed. "Why don't you go play with Kirara or something? This will be settled soon enough." Saber mewed again, this time it came out as a questioning chirp. "You know," Shadow continued, "Sango's cat-demon pet thing. Over there. Go on."  
  
"You do realize that there is a sort of time limit," Ryou pointed out. "If she doesn't change back within ten minutes then she'll be stuck in the cat body forever."  
  
Saber hissed, puffing up again.  
  
"Well aren't you just the bearer of good news today?" Shadow quipped, checking her watch. "No worries, she still has eight minutes."  
  
"Do you mind explaining who you are and why your friend turned into a cat?" Inuyasha growled.  
  
"I could..." Shadow began slowly. "But I don't think I could come up with a way to explain it that would make sense to any of you... it hardly makes any sense to me."  
  
"And YOU can destroy a forested area in a quarter mile radius!" Inuyasha continued, so loud that Shadow backed up a step. "How do you explain THAT? Are you some sort of demon? Did Naraku send you here?!"  
  
"Inuyasha, SIT!" Kagome shouted.  
  
With a loud thud Inuyasha was pulled to the ground by the magical rosary, and Shadow had to stifle a giggle. "You know, I've always wanted to see that happen."  
  
"Shadow, your friend is down to five and a half minutes," Ryou called.  
  
"Shouldn't you help them settle this?" Sango asked of Shadow. The silver haired collegiate looked over at Vash and Kish, who were still arguing, the looked over at Saber, who was sitting next to Shippou and Kirara, the two cats batting at a string that Shippou was holding up in the air.  
  
"Yeah... yeah I think I'll fix this now," Shadow nodded, walking over to the two chibis, grabbing each one by an ear.  
  
"oww... oww... oww..." they both protested together, trying to break free of Shadow's grasp, which only made it hurt more.  
  
"Enough you two!" Shadow shouted, tweaking their ears. "We're going to settle this like gentleman. Saber, get your furry butt over here!" Saber trotted over to where Shadow stood and sat down, mewing. "All right, you two, we're going to do something of a modified duel."  
  
"A duel?" Kish asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Here's the rules," Shadow began calmly. "Saber will sit right here. You will each stand on one side of her, backs facing her and take ten paces, then turn around. On my mark you will both run for her. First person to reach her gets to give her the kiss."  
  
"This is so easy," Kish snickered.  
  
"No powers," Shadow finished.  
  
"Damn you..."  
  
"Okay, are we ready? Gentleman, take your places." Both chibis took their places, then took ten steps away from the cat-Saber. They turned on their heels, facing each other, each wearing a scathing glare meant for the other. "On my mark... get set... go!"  
  
The two chibis bolted forward, running as fast as their legs could carry them. They both made a dive for the cat. Kish reached her first, scooping her up and cradling her in his arms as he rolled away from a very upset Vash. "I win," Kish said haughtily.  
  
"No fair-"  
  
"It was fair, Vash," Shadow said, giving the chibi gunner a sympathetic look. "He won this time, there's alway next time."  
  
"But her genetics are stable! Washu said so-"  
  
"Look at how clumsy Saber is. She's bound to get hit by another attack powerful enough to change her again. And from here on out you two will take turns... until she declares one of you her boyfriend, I guess..."  
  
Kish held Saber up and smiled at her, leaning down and placing a kiss on her lips. With a little flash of light she turned back into a human, her lips still touching the alien's. She stared at him with her blue eyes, her cheeks turning crimson.  
  
"Okay, she's changed back, quit touching her now," Vash growled.  
  
"Are you jealous?" Kish grinned.  
  
"Like you had to ask that one?" Wolfwood muttered.  
  
"And with a minute to spare," Shadow chirped. Movement within her right peripheral vision made Shadow turn her head, to see the monk approaching her.  
  
He coughed into his hand, clearing his throat, then got down onto one knee. "Miss, I have a question to ask you."  
  
"Ye-es?" Shadow asked, quirking an eyebrow.  
  
"Will you bear my child?"  
  
Shadow looked stunned, then offended, then neutral. "I don't like that look," Vash murmured to Ryou.  
  
"What does that look mean?" Ryou asked the blonde gunner.  
  
"Watch," Xellos commanded gleefully.  
  
Shadow leaned forward, a tiny smile on her lips. She then decked the priest under the chin, sending him flying back into Sango. "PERVERT!" she screeched. "I AM NOT SOME CHILD-BEARING MACHINE!" A few of the trees that had only been singed began to wilt.  
  
"You definately need to teach her some self control," Ryou stated, the other chibis nodding in agreement.  
  
"That's Miroku for you," Kagome said with a nervous laugh. "Don't feel bad, he does that to every girl he sees."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"So, why are you here?" Kagome asked as the group, now much larger, walked along.  
  
"You remember the freak that brought the rodents?" Shadow inquired. "Well, she's trying to take over the world, and all the other worlds, by infecting them with pokemon. Er... those rodent creatures. There's hundreds of different species though."  
  
"Why is she doing it?" Shippou asked.  
  
"Why does anyone do anything they do?" Miroku asked philisophically.  
  
Inuyasha snorted. "Feh."  
  
"So she just plans to jump from world to world, leaving these little monsters?" Sango said.  
  
"That and destory all bishonen in the universe."  
  
"Bishonen?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Hmmm," Shadow mused, eyeing Inuyasha. "Yeah, he would count. Your brother would count too."  
  
"How do you know my brother?" Inuyasha demanded, drawing his sword. Alucard stepped in front of Shadow to protect her, smirking at the hanyou.  
  
"SIT!"  
  
"Would you stop doing that!" Inuyasha shouted from the ground.  
  
"I'll stop doing that when you stop being rude," Kagome replied. "So if she plans on destroying them, how do we keep Inuyasha safe?"  
  
"I don't think Janie will be back any time soon," Saber said assuredly. "But, well, we could..."  
  
"Nah, I don't think it's necessarry," Shadow interrupted. "In all honesty... I think he's safe." She added in a whisper for only Saber to hear, "besides, if we chibify him I know I'd just have to take him home, and I know for a fact that a full moon is coming up soon."  
  
"A full moon?" Saber asked.  
  
"He turns human during the full moon. The hanyou's equivalent to 'that time of the month'. Get my point?"  
  
"Ah... yeah."  
  
"Don't you think we've spent enough time here?" Wolfwood asked, looking around, bored. "Besides, I think we left your other friend behind. Gene."  
  
"It has been quiet... ish," Shadow mused. "You realize that we've left Gene alone with Kos-mos."  
  
Saber squeaked. "We definately need to get home."  
  
"Well, it's been fun and all," Shadow grinned. "But we have to get going. Sorry if we messed with your mind or something..."  
  
"It breaks my heart that you have to leave," Miroku began, making sad-puppy eyes... which were quelled by a joint evil glare from both Shadow and Sango.  
  
Shadow pulled out her DGT, gathering all of the chibis around. "Well have fun, be safe, destroy Naraku..." She entered the button for home, the black hole swallowing up the group, leaving behind Kagome and party.  
  
Shippou looked out into the forest ahead of him and noticed several beady black eyes belonging to more pikachus. "Hey guys? I... I don't think we got them all...

* * *

"Hey Gene!" Shadow shouted from the bottom of the dog-pile. "You better not be touching Kos-mos, you pervert!"  
  
Gene gave the silver haired girl a cat-like grin, wrapping his arm around a very confused persocom. Shadow struggled under the weight of the chibis, but they were slow moving and she was stuck.  
  
"What are you going to do when I get free of this, huh?" Shadow asked threateningly.  
  
"Run like hell and hide in a place where you can't get me," Gene replied.  
  
"Ah, you're going to hide under the bed," Vash stated.  
  
"Coward," Wolfwood said.  
  
"Hey, she's scary when she's on a rampage," Gene pointed out.  
  
"True..." Wolfwood agreed, climbing off of the pile, helping Vash up. Vash then wrenched Kish off of Saber, where the alien had landed. Kish hadn't seemed to mind and Saber's cheeks were crimson again, her cat ears and tail very apparent. Shadow set Ryou on the floor then climbed to her feet, lunging for Gene, who dodged her and hid under the bed, just barely out of reach of Shadow's hands.  
  
"You little monster..." She growled.  
  
"And I'm out of reach," Gene grinned.  
  
Shadow growled and felt a hand rest on her shoulder. "Let it go for now," Ryou advised, giving her a smile. "Besides, he'll have to come out sooner or later to eat."  
  
Shadow blinked, startled by the fact that Ryou was actually being nice to her. She smiled and stood up. "You're right." She sighed.  
  
Saber sighed as well. "Well, now we know that Janie and Yue have made it to the Pokemon world and have captured some of the vile little creatures. We also know now that that transporter of hers multiply them as well. So... Shadow, any ideas?"  
  
"Yeah, let's get something to eat."  
  
Saber fell on the floor, exasperated. "You're hungry? Now? At a time like this?"  
  
Shadow grinned. "Yup. Bob has long since worn off and I'm hungry again."  
  
"I can't believe you're referring to the plant you DESTROYED as if it was nothing more than a snack."  
  
"Poor Bob," Shadow said, "alas I knew him well. And such a tasty treat he made."  
  
"You are vile, cruel-"  
  
"And hungry. We'll worry about Janie later, let's eat!"  
  
"You people," Ryou muttered. "But I suppose I should just make the best of this situation."  
  
"Ah, you're finally getting the hang of things," Saber smiled at the blonde chibi-genius. "Welcome to the club."  
  
Shadow grinned. "And what a strange group of people we are."

* * *

Well that's the end of this chapter. What do you think? R&R! 


	13. Beboppin'

Disclaimer: Guess what, boys and girls? We are the knights of NI! And therefore- WE OWN NOTHING... except a SHRUBBERY!

Shadow: --;; just ignore Saber and get to the story. We'll find a plastic bag to put her in, I promise.

* * *

Saber yawned from her place on the bed, rolling onto her side to look at all of the chibis sleeping on the floor. Vash and Kish were both right at the side of the bed; they'd argued over who would get to sleep closer to the bed by Saber, and Shadow had solved the problem by re-arranging sleeping plans for the night.  
  
Shadow was currently sitting at her neatly arranged (thanks to Kos-mos) desk, leaning over something with a mug of coffee in one hand, and a box of chocolate filled toaster pastries at the other, which she was eating... cold.  
  
"Don't you heat those things up?" Saber murmured sleepily.  
  
"No," Shadow replied absentmindedly.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Work."  
  
"What kind of work?" Saber persisted.  
  
"The kind of work that's best done when cat-girls go back to sleep," Shadow stated, grinning at her friend. She recieved a pillow to the face, which hit dead center, then bounced down onto Gene's head. The outlaw muttered something incomprehensible, then rolled over and fell back asleep. Shadow shook her head and turned back to her work while Saber stretched and sat up. She yowled a yawn and pawed at her eyes.  
  
"Are you sure you don't need any help?"  
  
"Yes, I'm sure," Shadow stated, hunching over her desk, trying to work with a little light as possible.  
  
"...you do realize that you're going to damage your eyes by doing that," Saber warned.  
  
"Not now that I'm half-Plant. Would you try to do something else, please?"  
  
"Okay, okay," Saber sighed, flipping the television on and keeping the volume low so that the others could sleep. The channel, when turned on, displayed the news. The report flashing across the tv made Saber drop the remote. The item dropped right on top of Kish's head.  
  
"Ow!" he complained, elbowing Vash, as he thought that the blonde gunner had been the culprit of the 'attack'. He yawned, and glared at the chibi gunner angrily.  
  
"Hey!" Vash grumbled, sitting up and yawning himself. "What was that for?"  
  
"For hitting me first!"  
  
"God... you two could wake the dead," Wolfwood grumbled, joining those among the 'living'. Gene and Xellos ignored everything, and Alucard just rolled his eyes behind his glasses. Ryou sat up but didn't say anything.  
  
"Shadow- look at the TV!" Saber exclaimed, going from normal college student mode to stressed out cat-girl in two seconds flat.  
  
"What?" Shadow demanded, looking up from her newspaper, not really expecting anything overly important. When she saw what had Saber's attention, her jaw dropped. "Oh. My. Lord."  
  
"What is it?" Ryou inquired, confused.  
  
"Shadow, remember we used to think Pokemon was a dying fad?" Saber asked. Shadow nodded dumbly. "I think... it's coming back. Just- just.. LOOK!"  
  
Indeed, what the blonde said seemed to be true. The news channel reporter was showing a local comic shop in the mall- a hoarde of kids were surrounding it, holding out cash in their hands. From where the collegiates sat, the words "pokemon" and "resurgence" came to their ears.  
  
"Forka must have succeeded in some of the universes," Shadow growled. She snorted out a gush of fresh breath, then closed the newspaper in front of her.  
  
"What? So for every universe this... Forka takes over, a change happens here?" Kish asked.  
  
"It would make sense," Vash agreed. He glanced up at Saber, whose cat ears seemed to disappear, ironically. The girl seemed more driven than worried at the moment. She closed her eyes in frustration for a moment, then balled her right hand into a fist.  
  
"Forka... how dare she. Not only does she think she can just... ignore me, she thinks that she's powerful enough to take over ALL the worlds using her evil minions." The blonde's eyes became slits, and she punched the nearby wall in agitation. Shadow-chan looked back at Saber.  
  
"Hey, there. Whoa, cowgirl, calm down. I know you're mad because she beat the shit out of you- I mean-"  
  
"Damn straight I'm mad," Saber spat back. Vash raised an eyebrow and looked up at the college student.  
  
"...you can be mad, but please don't kill her," he asked patiently. Saber gave the gunner a bittersweet smile.  
  
"As much as she might deserve it, no... No, I couldn't do that."  
  
"I could!" Shadow-chan responded cheerfully. Wolfwood raised an eyebrow.  
  
"...and you're not bloodthirsty?"  
  
"Never said I wasn't," Shadow-chan said just as cheerfully as earlier. Wolfwood glanced over at Vash.  
  
"The things you get us into, Needle-Noggin..." The red-clad gunner didn't respond, standing up, all pretenses of silliness out of the way; he was more concerned about Saber, whose seriousness seemed unnatural. He pulled himself onto the bed next to her, Kish giving him dirty looks as he did so.  
  
"This isn't good. Shadow, we have to step up our efforts," she continued, staring straight at her silver-haired friend. "I can NOT have that little otaku ruining this world!"  
  
"Ummm... calm down?" Shadow suggested.  
  
"Calm down? How can you suggest that we calm down? We have to go and stop her, while we still can!" Saber punched the air with her fist.  
  
Shadow raised a hand. "Can I shower first?"  
  
Saber blinked. "Um... okay?" The other college student gathered the necessary materials needed to take care of her morning duty, then walked out of the room, shutting it behind her. Ryou raised an eyebrow as she left, then looked at Saber with some form of concern.  
  
"Is she okay?"  
  
The blonde snorted, then gave a slight grin. "You don't get girls, do you, genius? We need our showers in the morning in order to function. And Shadow- she's not exactly herself until she's had hers. That's all, nothing more." She smiled happily, and her cat ears and tail disappeared.  
  
"Wow... you're getting better at that," Ryou commented.  
  
"I have to be. I don't want to look like a freak all the time, do I?" Saber sarcastically nebbed at him. Ryou gave a lopsided grin.  
  
"You're not as bad as you try to act, you know that," he smiled. "Not you, and not that Shadow girl, either. In fact... I'd say that you're almost tolerable- the both of you."  
  
"Thanks for the compliment... I think," Saberpilot smiled at him, then reached over and gave Vash a quick one-armed hug. "Well, we'd better get ready. Whenever Shadow's ready, she'll want to get going. I know that I'm in the mood for kicking some butt- besides, I owe Janie for the beating she gave me. No second level cheater is going to get the best of me again!" She bounced off the bed, still smiling, then proceeded to fall face-flat on the floor, tripping over Kish.  
  
"Owwiee..." she mewled, and Kish bit his teeth in worry, not having meant to trip her. He floated towards her and placed his chibified hands on her face in worry.  
  
"Are you okay, my Saber?" he asked, concerned. "Saber, please speak to me- Saber-"  
  
"I'm fine," she assured him, giving a weak smile. Vash had climbed down from the bed by this point and was helping her up in short order. Wolfwood banged the back of his head against the bunk beds in Shadow's room from boredom.  
  
"...when are we going again?"

* * *

"Takes you women long enough to get ready," muttered Gene. He'd been awakened by having a white-sheeted punisher "gently" applied to his face. Wolfwood had been annoyed with the outlaw's continual snoring.  
  
"Well, I'm sorry. Next time I'll just stand around and smell like I've been wearing my clothes for more than twenty-four hours, okay?" Shadow-chan snorted. She was busily twisting her hair into a twin set of buns that adorned the back of her head.  
  
"Ewww... no, that'd be worse," Gene agreed, holding his nose in mock fear. He then raised an eyebrow. "However... if you didn't get a shower, you'd be all hot and sweat-"  
  
The full word didn't leave his mouth, a certain vampire having picked him off the ground. Shadow-chan hadn't had the heart to change Alucard back into a chibi, the Hellsing Hound having behaved rather well for being full sized. His red eyes bored into Gene's own, the chibi outlaw holding up his hands in slight fear.  
  
"Um... I didn't mean it? I mean, honestly, what's a little joke? Really-"  
  
"It wasn't funny," Ryou agreed verbally with Alucard. "In fact, it was less than a little tactful. Women should be treated with more respect."  
  
"And what would you know about women? You're only fifteen, after all-" Kish started, then was cut off after he saw a saddened look from Saber. Kish laughed it off. "...but fifteen's still old enough to know a thing or two, I guess..." he ad-libbed.  
  
"Are you boys ready to stop fighting and get going?" Shadow asked, placing the final bobby pin in place to keep her hair straight. Xellos suddenly appeared next to her and looked ready to nab the pin, but Shadow-chan didn't seem to notice him, turning just in time so that the chibi couldn't reach it.  
  
Ryou nodded. He looked rather smart in his collared white shirt and a pair of khaki slacks. Saber had asked him earlier why he had decided to get 'snazzed up' as she called, but had yet to recieve an answer. Whatever the reason, Alucard seemed to not be happy with the chibi blonde genius.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, we're ready," Gene rolled his eyes. "I guess." Alucard set the redhead down and quickly reappeared next to Shadow. For some reason, he appeared agitated.  
  
"Saber? You ready?" Shadow-chan asked the girl, who had been inseparable from her laptop since their return. Ever since the last run-in with the Pokemon otaku, had Shadow even BREATHED the term Janie, Saber would go into full blown technical mode... needless to say, it didn't make Shadow too happy.  
  
"...just one minute more. Please?" Saber begged. "I just got into contact with Kawaii Neko-"  
  
"I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about now," Xellos snickered.  
  
"-and she still hasn't heard from Janie. So even if she's causing changes in this universe indirectly, she isn't making any REAL headway. Yet. However, that doesn't mean that these changes aren't serious... in point of fact, it means that we have to step up our effor-" Saber blinked, noticing that Shadow had curled up on the bed next to her. "...Shadow?"  
  
"...do we have to go?"  
  
Saber blinked, then raised an eyebrow in agitation. A pair of cat ears also were raised seconds later. "YES, we HAVE to go... do you really want to be ruled by a Pokemon otaku and your sister?"  
  
"...my sister... do you think she's all the way turned by now?" Shadow-chan wondered. "It's been nearly two months..."  
  
The blonde cat-girl turned away from her laptop and looked at her friend. Her silver hair, while put up into the buns, seemed to be lacking its luster, and her skin appeared clammy. Saber, concerned, placed her hand on her forehead.  
  
"Hey, you feeling okay?"  
  
"I don't know," Shadow-chan said, then looked up at Saber with her green eyes. "But... I feel very down lately... as if there's part of me that's missing..."  
  
"Her sister. She misses her twin," Ryou said, snapping his fingers. Everyone turned and looked at the chibi as though he were the most obvious person in the world.  
  
"...duh, you idiot," Wolfwood said, rolling his eyes as he did. "Even the least intelligent person in the world could see it. Look at Gene-" he pointed at the outlaw, who seemed strangely concerned about Shadow-chan, almost as if he were empathic to what she was going through. "He gets it."  
  
"Hey, be quiet," Gene said, with a surprising lack of sarcasm within his voice. Kish blinked, then looked to Saber for an answer.  
  
'His dad died,' Saber mouthed so that no attention was drawn to the outlaw. Shadow-chan closed her eyes, her expression pained. Saber reached over and gave her friend a hug, afterwards, her cat tail waving to and fro.  
  
"We'll bring her back to her senses... somehow. I promise," Saberpilot assured her friend, rubbing her back. It was then that Saber noticed the unbidden tears falling, and she hugged her closer. "It's going to be okay. We'll bring her back... I promise you that. She can't have fallen all the way. Yue's too smart for Janie. She'll eventually tire of her trying to control the world through such stupid means."  
  
"...I hope you're right," Shadow-chan sniffled. Saber closed her eyes, empathizing with the pain that was ripping her friend's heart in two, but frustrated. There was nothing that she could do... and it killed her to no end. She eventually let go of Shadow-chan, the half-Plant's abilities to project telepathically coming alive through her emotions.  
  
"Let's get going," Saber ordered the chibis, glancing over at Shadow-chan. Ryou and Alucard were half-hovering around the college student, worried sick about her. Saber clenched her teeth in anger.  
  
"...damn you, Yue," she hissed under her breath, her tail twitching in agitation. She straightened up and walked torwards the center of the room, then motioned to Shadow-chan.  
  
"Come on. Let's go." Saber glanced at all the chibis, all of them standing and ready, save for Xellos, who seemed to instead want to create more chaos by disobeying. He sat on the floor, arms crossed. Alucard noticed this and picked the chibi up by the nape of his neck.  
  
"We are going. Did you not hear the girl?" he hissed at the violet-haired chibi, who shirked his grip on him off, then stood on the ground.  
  
"I heard her. That doesn't mean I need to heed her word," he pointed out. Alucard growled slightly, his prominant canines showing themselves off to the chibi. Xellos rolled his eyes, but walked over to the group gathered.  
  
"I suppose. Don't think I'm doing this because you ordered me to. I came of my own free will, remember."  
  
"...SHUT UP!" Wolfwood yelled at him. "JUST SHUT UP! YOU IDIOT- DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF EMPATHY AT ALL? THIS GIRL-" he pointed at Shadow, who turned her head away slightly, trying to get out of the center of attention, "IS IN A GREAT DEAL of... pain." The priest huffed for a minute, gaining his breath, then placed a finger in front of Xellos.  
  
"Don't you dare say another word for the rest of the time that we go out now, do you hear me?" Wolfwood glared at the chibi, then turned his head away with a snap.  
  
"W...what was that all about?" Gene whispered to Vash. The blonde gunner shrugged.  
  
"Shadow, come on, everyone's ready," Saber called. Shadow grumbled something under her breath and sat up... very slowly. "Any slower and you're going to start moving backwards."  
  
Shadow couldn't help but grin at that one. To make a point, Shadow stood up just as slowly then joined the group... walking backwards.  
  
"You just couldn't resist, could you?" Saber giggled, handing her silver haired friend the DGT.  
  
"Of course not," Shadow replied, pressing some random numbers. "Well, here goes nothing."

* * *

"You just had to bring her back all banged up, didn't you?" a tall man with a metal arm growled, looking at a small, damaged ship. A second man with green hair leaned against the ship, smoking a cigarette.  
  
"The Helstar bounty was a little rougher than I thought," the green haired man replied non-chalantly.  
  
"Do you have any idea how much those repairs are gonna cost, Spike?"  
  
"Aww, get off me, Jet. We'll come through, the bounty was enough to cover repairs with some left over," Spike replied, putting out the cigarette. "Faye come back yet?"  
  
"Not yet. But supper's ready."  
  
"Anything with meat?"  
  
"As a matter of fact... no."  
  
Spike's face fell and both men sighed. "Go figure..."  
  
"Faye-Faye called," Edward called from her laptop, Ein sitting in the redhead's lap.  
  
"And?" Spike asked, digging into a plate of noodles.  
  
"She's gonna be late," Ed answered without a hint of care. She was too busy surfing the net.  
  
About fifteen minutes later a woman with short, chin-length black hair wearing a rather skimpy yellow outfit walked in, grumbling about some bounty she'd just gotten back from.  
  
"That bad, huh?" Jet inquired with a raised eyebrow.  
  
He never got the answer, as a large black hole opened up in the ceiling, dumping a number of small people, and three tall people, onto the floor. Saber landed right next to Ed, the chibis all landed on Faye and Spike, and Shadow landed on top of Jet.  
  
"Ow," Shadow mumbled, tilting her head back to look at Jet. "Sorry 'bout that."  
  
"Not... a problem," Jet replied, keeping his temper while helping the girl up.  
  
"Hey, get off of me!" Faye shouted, throwing Gene Starwind across the room.  
  
"What's going on?" Spike demanded, pushing the chibis aside.  
  
"I'd like to know the same thing," Faye growled.  
  
"We apologize," Saber called, bowing her head in apology. "We didn't mean to crash on top of you."  
  
"We can't always control our landings," Shadow added. "So... we're in the Bebop universe... go figure, huh Saber?" Saber didn't reply, she was too busy conversing with Ed about the net. Shadow let out a heavy sigh. "Go figure, she gets absorbed into electronics and I get stuck with the explanations."  
  
"Explanation?" Spike inquired. Shadow took a deep breath then proceeded to explain everything on the same breath. Needless to say, Spike was left rather speechless after the entire explanation was given.  
  
"Wow," Wolfwood said, looking at Ryou.  
  
"She talks faster than Ichigo when she's nervous," the blonde chibi-genius noted. He then glanced at Saberpilot, who was also conversing at a steadily faster rate, and shook his head.  
  
"So you're saying that the lot of you are jumping from dimension to dimension trying to stop some crazed idiot trying to take over the world?" Jet summed up.  
  
"In a nutshell, yes," Shadow nodded.  
  
"But that's impossible!" Faye protested. "That shouldn't be able to work!"  
  
"But we're here, aren't we?" Shadow contested. Faye grumbled but she couldn't argue with the silver haired girl.  
  
"Well, we haven't had any strange things happening here," Spike said, lighting up another cigarette. Jet raised a mechanical eyebrow, then looked at the emerald-haired bounty hunter.  
  
"Nothing odd, you say? How about the fact that neither you nor Faye has caught a bounty head in the past three months?" Jet commented. Spike didn't respond, taking a long draw from his cancer stick. Faye appeared to not have heard the older man's comment.  
  
"In any case, we have to safe-guard this universe before she gets here," Shadow-chan stated, holding up a finger towards the eldest bounty hunter.  
  
"Safe-guard it?" Jet repeated. "Well, how're you going to do that?"  
  
"Ed knows!" Edward called from her laptop, where she and Saber were sitting, Saber petting Ein. The data dog seemed to find this agreeable, barking happily. At the words 'Ed knows', his ears perked up.  
  
"How do you know, Ed?" Faye asked.  
  
"Ed knows because Saber told Ed. Saber is going to chibify the bishonen!" Ed tossed her hands up in the air, as if this was something to celebrate. Saberpilot grinned and stood up, Ein barking as she did.  
  
"...bishonen? Is that some kind of meat or something?" Faye asked, searching the nearby food compartment to see if there was any sort of protein to pick up.  
  
Shadow-chan and the rest of the chibi company face-vaulted at Faye's naiveity. Wolfwood coughed behind his hand, and Gene giggled from his position on the floor, where Faye had thrown him.  
  
"...she doesn't know much, does she?" the priest commented.  
  
"No, but she looks like she does," Gene laughed, pulling himself up from the floor and slowly making his way over to where Faye stood. Xellos raised an eyebrow at Shadow-chan.  
  
"He never learns, does he?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Can I go instigate something?"  
  
"Certainly."  
  
The violet-haired chibi walked over to where Faye was and smiled.  
  
"You know, it's very rare that such a harlet is picked up by such a low-life man, but I'm sure that in Gene's case, you'll be happy to make an exception," Xellos told Faye. The black-haired bounty hunter's eyes nearly doubled in size.  
  
"What the HELL are you talking about? I am NOT a harlet-"  
  
"He obviously thinks you are-" Xellos noted, pointing towards the forward edging Gene Starwind. That was enough reason for the raven-haired woman to dart forward and kick the approaching Starwind chibi. With that, the violet-haired chibi strided back to where Shadow-chan was, all a-grin.  
  
"Have fun?" Jet asked the little mazuko.  
  
"It was enjoyable, yes," he stated as Gene writhed on the ground, in pain from a stiletto heel kick. Faye stalked away from the chibi, going to search in another cupboard for something to eat.  
  
"...right," Jet stated, crossing his arms and staring Shadow down. "So... you're going to 'chibify' these 'bishounen' things. Fine. Okay. Then go do it."  
  
"Well, you see..." Shadow-chan started, then waved at Saber, who was currently swaying back and forth with both Ed and Vash, who had decided to join in on the fun. "Loco girl over there has the equipment we'd need."  
  
"Loco girl?" Spike asked. He spat out his finished cigarette, hitting a nearby pipeline. "What are you people, crazy?"  
  
A black shadow loomed behind the bounty hunter, as well as a pair of enlarged canines. Shadow sighed, then snapped her fingers, and the shadow dissolved from around Spike, then reappeared next to her. Shadow-chan shook her finger, not bothering to turn around and focus on Alucard.  
  
"Not now. We'll stop at a pet shop or something like that. No snacks for you."  
  
"Snacks? Chibis? Bishonen? What the hell is going on here!" Spike demanded, slamming his fist down on the table, causing Shadow to jump the tiniest fraction.  
  
"Spike, calm down," Jet advised.  
  
"Yeah, they're just kids after all," Faye added haughtily.  
  
Shadow's eyebrow twitched and for a single moment she really considered letting Alucard loose on the crew. However, she figured that that would probably only help Janie so she refrained from giving the order.  
  
"I don't care if they're kids or not," Spike ranted. "I want to know why they're on this ship and what they mean by all of this stuff."  
  
"Let me simplify it for you then," Shadow growled through her teeth in a tone that made Saber look very worried... the chibis all gaining worried looks as well.  
  
"This... is going to be brutal, I think," Wolfwood mumbled, Kish, Vash, Ryou and Gene all nodding in agreement.  
  
"We 'special' college students are here to save your ass from evil pokemon otaku," Shadow reiterated, as if speaking to a very small child. "Pokemon. Evil creatures. Otaku plan to destroy bishonen. You bishonen. We save you. We go home. Stop evil. Is that basic enough for you?"  
  
Faye looked as if she were on the verge of laughing, Jet looked mildly amused, and Spike looked rather irritated.  
  
"Faye, if you laugh-" Spike warned. Faye got up and walked out of the room, her laughter floating through the hall and back into the main living space. Spike's eyebrow began to twitch and Shadow smirked.  
  
"Who would have thought," Jet began, his voice thick with amusement. "You... a bishonen."  
  
"Ha ha," Spike replied, sarcasm dripping acidly from his voice.  
  
"Saber, would you like to do the honors?"  
  
"Ed wants to do it!" Ed shouted gleefully. Saber handed the redhead the chibi-ray without a fuss and Ed took aim at Spike. Before Spike could protest, Ed fired, shrinking Spike down to a child-like size.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?" Spike demanded, trying to give Shadow an evil glare... but coming from someone who was now under three feet in height, the glare wasn't very menacing.  
  
"Now, if Janie makes it to this universe she won't be able to hurt you," Shadow grinned. "You make such a cute chibi."  
  
"Faye-Faye will think so too," Ed said, turning back to her computer.  
  
"No way!" Spike shouted, then turned to Shadow. "You have to turn me back! I can't let Faye see me like this!"  
  
"Believe me, Faye seeing you like this is a far better fate than what Janie will do to you," Saber stated.  
  
"I don't care! I can't let anyone see me like this! Especially Jul-" he stopped, then regained his angry stance.  
  
"Well, I do know a way..." Saber began slowly, snatching the DGT out of Shadow's hands.  
  
"Hey!" the silver haired girl protested. Then it dawned on her what the strawberry blonde college student was planning as she herded the other chibis together. "Saber, no. We can't!"  
  
"Sure we can!" Saber giggled.  
  
Shadow climbed to her feet, protesting. "We're tight for space as it is and I haven't found-"  
  
Her protest was cut off as the DGT's black hole swallowed up the group, leaving behind Jet, Ed, Faye, and Ein.  
  
"Hey... where'd Spike go?" Faye asked, stepping back into the room.  
  
"He...uh..." Jet stammered, trying to figure out what had just elapsed in the past few seconds. "He had something to take care of. He'll be back later. I hope."

* * *

"Saber, why on earth did we bring another one home?" Shadow demanded from the bottom of the dog-pile. "You said we didn't have enough room for me to bring Inuyasha back, but you can have Spike?"  
  
"Ummm... he didn't want to be seen?" Saber tried weakly.  
  
"Ooooh..." Shadow took a deep breath and let it out as a heavy sigh. "I guess a few of the chibis can take my bed for tonight. As it is, I'm going to have to stay up all night and work anyway."  
  
"What are you working on anyway?" Gene asked.  
  
"Er... a final project for economics," Shadow lied.  
  
"Gross," Saber stated. "Let me know if you need any help with graphs and what not."  
  
"Always."  
  
Saber let out a huge yawn then curled up on the bottom bunk, closing her eyes. Seconds later she was passed out.  
  
"She's napping?" Spike asked incredulously.  
  
"It's been a long day for her," Shadow dismissed, sitting down at her desk, re-opening the newspaper from earlier. "Hmm... let's see... that one's got five rooms, but this one's cheaper. No, too far away..."  
  
"That's not economics," Ryou stated, peering over the desktop at the newspaper. "That looks like apartment hunting."  
  
"Bingo," Shadow answered absentmindedly, circling an apartment prospect.  
  
"Why-"  
  
"There are far too many of you to keep here in the dorm," Shadow interrupted. "So I have to find an apartment that will fit all of us."  
  
"So why won't you let Saber help?" Vash inquired.  
  
"She would be most useful," Kish agreed.  
  
"She would stress out over this, believe me," Shadow stated. "And you know that she would, Vash, so don't bother sticking up for her in this case. She's trying to keep those ears and tail under wraps and having to apartment hunt won't help her in the least." She circled another prospect.  
  
Kos-mos, who had woken up with the group's arrival, had set out blankets on the floor, re-arranging some of the sleeping arrangements. Kish, Gene, and Wolfwood all shared the top bunk now, leaving Spike, Vash, Alucard, and Ryou with the floor.  
  
"I can't believe I've been dragged into this," Spike grumbled before forcing himself to sleep.  
  
"You should try to sleep," Ryou whispered softly, sitting up from his place on the floor. Shadow shrugged from her spot at the desk. "It's... one in the morning, Shadow. Do you honestly plan to work through the whole night on finding an apartment?"  
  
"I'm not just doing that," Shadow replied. "Is my light bothering you?"  
  
"Er... not at all," Ryou said.  
  
Shadow turned in her seat and grinned at the blonde chibi. "Besides, there isn't much room for me anywhere, now is there? Not with the lot of you taking up all the walking space as it is."  
  
"Well...uh... there's room right over here," Ryou said, doing his best not to blush as he gestured to a small amount of free space between him and Vash.  
  
"I do not think that is necessary," Alucard stepped in, glaring at the blonde chibi through his ruby coloured glasses. "If she needs a place to sleep then I shall give up my own place."  
  
"Now now boys, settle down," Shadow said. "I appreciate the gesture, but I think I'm going to be pulling an all-nighter. So just go back to sleep." Alucard slunk back into the shadows and Ryou let out a sigh. Shadow looked at him and mouthed a silent 'thank you though' and winked.  
  
'Boys," she thought to herself with a grin. 'How dull life would be without them.'

* * *

Alucard: You know, I wasn't kidding about the sleeping area. The coffin is quite comfortable.

Shadow: ....

Saberpilot (with cat ears): Bai bai! waves


	14. Of Chibis and Men and more chibis

Disclaimer: We don't own anything. Really. ...except for the large amount of posters that adorn our college dorm walls. ...and even that's pending.

* * *

"...let's see... the Fifth Street looks promising..." Shadow-chan muttered, half-awake and groggy. The college student hadn't gotten a wink of sleep; she'd been up all night apartment hunting. Sadly, it hadn't yet occured to her that the work she'd stayed up for, economics, would not be accomplished.

"Shadow?" Saberpilot blinked. The blonde yowled a yawn, a pair of cat ears perking up as she did so. "What are you-" she yawned again, "What are you doing up? Don't tell me you've been up since last night... it's almost seven in the morning!"

"Seventh street..." Shadow-chan muttered, still not completely in the here and now. She blinked, then realized Saber was talking to her. Her silver hair moved along with her head as she turned to stare at the girl.

"...what did you say?"

"Shadow... did you pull an all-nighter?"

The silver-haired girl yawned, then nodded. "Yep. But I may have found us an apartment-"

"What about the economics you were supposed to do?"

"The eco- SHIT!" Shadow-chan freaked, yelping. As she did, she stood up, knocking all the papers off of her desk... including, apparently, a set of papers that hadn't been there before. She placed both her hands on her temples and started to rub them.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shi-"

"Oh, nevermind, here it is," Saber smiled. Shadow-chan blinked. The blonde had been picking up papers, and one set of them Shadow didn't recognize. Still not concious, she pointed.

"What- what is that?"

"Your economics work," Saber blinked, then smiled. It was then that Shadow-chan noticed that the blonde had black marks under her eyes, a sign of little sleep. She peered at the girl.

"You didn't- wait. I would have noticed if you'd gotten up. So how-"

"You're not exactly... what would you say, um... AWARE whenever you're working on something at two in the morning. So it was easy for me to quickly grab your book, sneak out, and get to work on it. Besides, Ryou helped me- he snored extra loud so that you wouldn't hear me escape."

"Ryou... Saber, you are an evil bitch, you know that?" Shadow-chan pointed out. The cat-girl smiled, then keeled back over onto the bed. When Shadow-chan poked her to see if she was still awake, she recieved negative results. Saber had, in point of fact, passed out. Easily. And quite quickly.

"...you're an idiot."

"She also cares a lot about you," a new voice added. Shadow-chan raised an eyebrow, then turned to see Ryou. The chibi crossed his arms. "Why else would she tackle five hours' worth of boring economics if she didn't?"

"...because she's a crazy girl who happens to LIKE math for some weird reason?"

"No, it's because she knew you wouldn't get it done. Which is why she asked me to create a diversion... or rather, cover up the sound of her leaving."

Shadow-chan sighed. "And exactly how much sleep did YOU get last night, Mr. Smarty Pants?"

"Enough. More than you or she, I would assume, at least."

Shadow yawned and stood up, stretching as she did so. Half asleep, she walked over to where Ryou was sitting and settled down into the sleeping space that he'd offered her earlier.

"Wha-" Ryou blinked as Shadow curled up on her side, let out a soft sigh, and fell asleep. Ryou blushed for a moment, then lied back down as well, taking the opportunity as it came.

* * *

"They're so cute," Saber cooed softly, grinning from her place on the bottom bed. Shadow and Ryou were both still curled up beside each other on the floor and Ryou's arm had somehow managed to drape itself over Shadow's shoulder in the process of the nap. Most of the the other chibis were awake and all of them were wearing ear to ear grins at the adorable scene... except for Alucard, who looked as if he would have loved nothing more than to rip Ryou's lungs out.

"We should wake them!" Xellos said mischieviously. Spike raised an eyebrow.

"What? With your bad breath?"

"No!" Saber hissed, raching into her backpack for a camera. "Not until I have some blackmail."

"Do you honestly think that a picture of her sleeping next to blondie there will actually blackmail her?" Gene asked skeptically.

"When it comes to Shadow, anything mushy will be enough to blackmail her," Saber grinned, snapping a few photos. "Okay, now we can wake them. No permanent injuries either, Alu-san."

"Wakey-wakey," Wolfwood called while Xellos poked at Shadow's shoulder, something which the silver haired girl found annoying at all times. Shadow let out a soft groan while Ryou blinked his eyes open, Shadow following suite.

"What?" Ryou asked through a stifled yawn.

"Did you two love birds enjoy your nap?" the black haired priest grinned, gesturing to Ryou and Shadow.

"WHAT?!" both shouted at the same time, sitting up. Both Ryou's and Shadow's cheeks were the colour or red roses.

"What do you mean love-birds?" Shadow choked. "I just took the only spot available since we had to make room for one more!"

"Sure you did," Gene said slyly.

"But we... I...er..."

"I've got pictures," Saber grinned, holding up her camera. "It was so cute to see you two cuddling like that."

"We were not."

"Oh but you were," Saber insisted. "And the film doesn't lie."

"We're burning that film," Shadow growled.

"Not a chance," Saber cooed. Meanwhile, the guys were all nudging Ryou on the shoulder and cheering him on, much to the blonde chibi genius' embarrassment.

Shadow gave Saber an evil glare, then yawned and flipped on the tv, checking all of the different news stations. "Well there's a good note to wake up to," she mused. "No more advances in the sales of Pokemon products. Maybe we got lucky and Janie got stuck somewhere."

"If only," Saber muttered, pouring over the rest of the paperwork that was on Shadow's desk. "Why didn't you let me help you with this?" she demanded, pointing to Shadow's lists of possible living spaces.

"Because you have enough to stress out over as it is," Shadow replied.

"And you don't?"

"True... but I handle stress better?" Shadow tried. "Besides," she added, "I don't have cat ears and a tail pop up every time I'm stressed so I didn't want to bug you with it."

"I take it we're looking at these today?" Shadow nodded. "Are we leaving them here?"

"I don't see why not," Shadow said. "Kos-mos can look after them. We'll just be sure to tie Gene up before we leave-"

"Hey!" the chibi outlaw protested. "Why do you always act as if I'm going to do something horrible the moment you turn your eyes?"

"Ten bucks says he'd try to grope Kos-mos if we left him untethered," Shadow stated.

"I'm not taking that bet," Saber replied. "I'd lose too easily." Gene face-vaulted. Spike stared at the chibi with little pity in his eyes.

"Sucks to be you..."

Shadow let out a heavy sigh. "Well, let me get ready and we'll head out. I have to be back before my six o'clock class." With that she got up, gathered her things, and hurried out of the room. Saber had the same thing in mind and gathered up her shower things as well, giving Ryou a sly grin before she left as well.

"Women," Gene muttered under his breath while Kos-mos began to straighten things up. "Can't live with 'em; can't live without 'em."

"Amen," Wolfwood agreed.

Gene's face then took on a cat-like grin. "So, Ryou- hey... where'd the kid get to?" Sure enough, Ryou was nowhere to be seen.

"Probably hiding from our tall friend over there," Wolfwood said, gesturing to a brooding Alucard over in the corner. "He'll turn up. Probably."

* * *

"I can't believe we wasted an entire day looking at shitty apartments," Saber complained as the two girls walked down the hall to their dorm. "Janie could be out there causing all sorts of problems and-"

"Well, we had to at least look," Shadow replied.

"None of them were even liveable!"

"Now we know that." The silver haired girl let out a heavy sigh. "We'll just have to keep looking and keep a look out for Janie. Simple multitasking, right?"

"Heh heh... right..."

"We're back!" Shadow called, opening the door the apartment. "You haven't been causing too much trouble for Kos-mos, now have you?" She tweaked Gene's nose as she passed by the bed, giggling at his muffled reply. The redhead had not managed to escape Shadow's bonds this time around... and none of his compatriots had felt the need, it seemed, to free him. So he was still tied up, bound by knots that Shadow had learned in her fire fighting training, and gagged, lying on the bed.

"Where's Ryou?" Saber asked after doing a quick head count.

"Right here," came a somewhat breathless response as Ryou appeared behind the strawberry blonde college student. Saber raised an eyebrow at the chibi but didn't say anything.

"Hey Saber?" Shadow called, standing in front of the television.

"Yes?" Saber replied.

"When did garden gnomes for the rich and the famous become Pokemon?"

"Shadow, what on earth are you talking about?" Saber asked.

Shadow pointed at the TV, which was showing off the house of some starlet in Hollywood. Apparently one of the chibi bishonen had left the screen on while the girls had been away. Spread all across the lawn where garden gnomes normally would have been stood statues of different types of Pokemon. Saber's jaw dropped.

"SHIT! THAT FREAKING BITC-"

"Not in front of those under three feet tall," Shadow-chan stated, holding up a finger to the now nearly-permanent cat-girl. She then sighed, sitting down. "Damn. I thought that last throw-down we'd had with her might have taken care of her for good. Guess I was wrong."

"You GUESS you were wrong? Gee whiz... shit. I've got to get to work on this," Saber stated, 'plugging' herself into her laptop, Vash following to watch. Kish raised an eyebrow, shrugged, then floated over towards where the blonde worked. Wolfwood watched the entire scene with amusement.

"You people..." He glanced at Shadow-chan, whose expression was one of mixed anger and agitation. "...besides the obvious bit about the problem at hand, what else is wrong?"

"All the apartments we looked at today were complete crap! I can't believe how hard it is to find a place that's roomy, furnished, and under $400 a month! There's nothing in this damn college town!" The silver-haired girl flopped on her bed. "Not to mention, none of the people we talked to took me seriously because of my hair color- they kept asking how much it had cost to dye it," she sighed.

"...somehow that doesn't surprise me," the preacher stated. "From what I've seen, it ISN'T normal for a young girl to have pure silver hair.." he trailed off, noticing that Ryou seemed a little edgy.

"What's eating you, kid?" He asked, leaning on his chibi punisher. Spike raised an eyebrow, then shook his head and went back to listening to Shadow's headphones. Shadow glanced over at the chibi blonde.

"What's the matter, Ryou?"

The chibi blonde seemed to be rather circumspect in his response, fingering what seemed to be a small sheet of paper, before sighing and handing it over. Shadow blinked, puzzled, then opened the folded piece of parchment.

"Apartment 1138-B, Two-Fifty University Avenue... Ryou, where did you get this? It looks like everything we need here's included- utilities, space, and it's only... what's this? $150 a month? How the heck did you-?"

"Who cares how?" Wolfwood smiled. "That takes care of one problem- why don't we go check it out?" He smiled, seeing Ryou act slightly nervous about his good deed.

"Okay..." Shadow agreed slowly, her mind still reeling. "Saber, are you coming?" The silver haired girl received no answer. Shadow let out a growl, stood up, and forcefully pulled Saber away from her laptop. "Do that later. Let's focus on the immediate problem of a living space, shall we? Now let's move!"

"But-" Saber began.

"No buts, let's go!" She dragged the blonde out of the room, the chibis following them down to the car.

After a surprisingly uneventful car ride, they finally arrived at the designated address, Shadow-chan putting the car into park for a second, then looking around. "Okay, now where is this 1138 complex...?"

"There it is," Ryou pointed out from the back seat of the car, pointing to an apartment building that looked like it had seen its better days many years ago.

"Are you sure that's the place?" Vash asked. "It..."

"It looks like a shit-hole," Gene finished.

"Well, it can't be any worse than the rest of the stuff that we saw today," Shadow shrugged, getting out of park and pulling into the drive way. "Right, Saber?"

Saber just sniffed from her seat, still pouting at having been torn away from her computer.

"Well, let's take a look, shall we?" The group climbed out of the car and walked up a small flight of stairs, Shadow in the lead. She knocked on the door, but no one answered. "Hello? Anyone here?"

"I think you can just go in," Ryou suggested knowingly.

Shadow gave the chibi an odd look, shrugged, then twisted the knob, pushing on the door. It opened without much effort involved.

"Oh. My. God!" Saber exclaimed, her jaw dropping at the inside of the apartment. Despite the crappy exterior appearance, the inside was gorgeous. It was most definately large, with no less than six double bedrooms, a kitchenette, a living room and a bathroom. There was furniture already in place and everything was clean and working.

"Wow... all of this for only 150 a month?" Shadow asked. "Ryou, how-"

"I think this might explain things," Alucard said, holding out a note addressed to Shadow and Saber that had apparently been placed on inside of the door.

Shadow took the note, reading it out loud. "Dear Shadow and Saber, your little scientist friend paid me a visit today and told me about your predicament. I hope this helps. I've taken the liberty of making a few 'additions'; I'm sure you won't mind. Enjoy." Shadow paused, then ran over and kissed Ryou on the cheek. "Thank you!" she exclaimed, ignoring the fact that the blonde was blushing and Alucard looked very jealous.

"I can't believe this place," Saber muttered, having already taken the liberty to explore. Kish was also floating around, inspecting the premises. The blonde, still worried about Janie's apparent winning strategy, had her cat ears and tail up, although at this moment they appeared to be more curious in nature than anything else. Shadow-chan suddenly heard a yelp, and she turned her head in curiousity, trying to find out where Saber's squeal had come from.

"What's up? Saber, are you okay?"

Shadow-chan rounded a corner to find a bouncing Saberpilot. Literally. After a raised eyebrow and some contemplation, she yelled to get the blonde's attention.

"WHAT THE HEL-"

"THEY HAVE IT ALL!" Saber squealed, still bouncing. Shadow-chan paused.

"They have all what?"

Saberpilot pointed at the wall, her excitement still going strong. "Cable, T1, Ethernet, Wireless- it's ALL HERE! Shadow-chan, do you realize how easy it'd be for me to network to Kawaii Neko and possibly find out Janie's location? I could just connect here and-"

"Okay, okay, I get the message," Shadow-chan sighed. "I thought it was something important, not more of your computer mumbo-jumbo."

Saber stopped mid-bounce, her blue eyes growing wide. "But- this IS something important, Shadow. With this, I can help take down Janie-"

"Which is something you seem to becoming more and more obsessive about."

The blonde turned and gritted her teeth. "Shadow, she nearly beat me to a pulp and almost caused me to turn on all my beliefs- you really think that I'm going to let something like that go?"

"...she holds a grudge, doesn't she?" Xellos muttered to Gene.

"...she's a woman. Of course she does," he retorted.

"Saber, we're going to defeat her . Don't worry about that. But what's the point in defeating her if my best friend becomes just as mad as she is?"

The blonde fell onto the ground and started to bawl, much to Shadow-chan's dismay.

"Oh, come on, don't- don't be like that-"

It was too late, though, because the cat-girl was already starting to blubber. "But you-you're right... if I'm mad, then I'll have crazy children, and I'll be a bad mom, and they'll all love the evil Pokemon, and- and-"

SMACK

Vash and Kish ran over to Saber after Shadow-chan had slapped the girl so that she'd stop crying. Saber, although stunned, seemed to have calmed down thanks to Shadow's treatment, only stunned tears of silence falling down her cheeks.

"Sorry! But there was no other way to make you calm down- I don't want you to turn into a cat again-"

"Which, considering how forced the injection was, could become permanent," Ryou stated, matter-of-factly. Saber's face became even paler.

"-and I don't want you to burn yourself out! Saber-" Shadow-chan rushed into her friend's arms, and gave her a large hug. Vash and Kish looked nearly like bodyguards on either side of her.

"Don't worry about your kids," Shadow added. "They'd never become obsessed with Pokemon... they wouldn't live to see three if they did." She chuckled dryly and Saber smiled weakly.

All of a sudden Shadow heard another loud THUD, which made her jump slightly. "Now what?" she wondered, exiting the room. "I swear, if any of you have broken something already-" She opened one of the bedroom door and let out a loud screech.

"Shadow, what is it?" Saber called, trying to push her way through the horde of chibis blocking the hall. "What- who are they?!"

A large number of people, most of them children, were sprawled across the floor in one big heap. As they grumbled and separated from each other, they seemed to split of into two main groups. In one group, three children with dark hair, and a set with blonde were checking each other over for injuries, while the second group consisted of only three children, two girls and a little boy.

"Mo-" one of the boys began to say, when another child clamped a hand over his mouth.

"W-who are you? How did you get here?" Shadow asked faintly. She looked about ready to pass out.

"I'm Nicholas, this is my sister Rem," a boy who looked about fourteen began. "These three-" he gestured to the dark haired kids, "Are Locke, Liam, and Genesis."

"And these three?" Wolfwood asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm Cecile," a little girl with sandy coloured hair and bright green eyes said cheerfully. "These are my friends Jayde and Brannet."

"Rem?" Vash repeated quietly. A slight expression of pain went over his face.

"Okay, we know who you are now," Gene snapped. "How'd you get here?"

"Gene, be nice, they're children," Shadow scolded.

"That one looks like he's 18," Gene protested, pointing to the tallest of the dark haired children. He then noticed one of the girls, and smiled. "She, however, looks-"

"Off limits," Shadow growled, following his cat-like grin to Jayde. "She can't be more than fourteen."

"Fifteen, actually," Jayde corrected.

'Okay okay, so now what?" Ryou asked. "They're here, but why?"

"For help," Rem said. "We-"

"Alucard... what are you doing?" Shadow asked incredulously, interrupting Rem. She glared at the vampire, who was standing very close to the oldest boy. Both were sizing each other up from behind pairs of ruby lensed sunglasses. "You're being so rude!"

"Shadow, I don't think he cares," Saber whispered.

"You would think that after living with Integral Hellsing for all those years he'd pick up some manners," Shadow whispered back.

"Aunt Integral is still trying to pound manners into-"

The other boy, Liam, quickly clapped his hand over his sister's mouth. 'What are you trying to do?" he hissed darkly. Of course, her reply was muffled due to his hand.

"What was that?" Alucard hissed to the eldest child of the trio, Locke, who was still staring back at the vampire with little trace of fear. The vampire disappeared, then reappeared next to him, still examining him. A vague sniff and a smile later, he found himself standing directly in front of the youth.

"...take those glasses off. Now."

"No can do," Locke answered the elder man, his own arms crossed. Shadow-chan let out a yelp.

"Um, kid, I really don't think you should-"

"Take them off," Alucard stated, a wide grin on his face. "Now!"

"NO!" Locke retorted once again. Alucard darted forward to pick the kid off the floor, but ferally grinned when he realized the kid had dodged his cuffing. Another dart forward, and still the vampire somehow missed. This went on for about five minutes, the rest of present company watching amusedly.

"...how much do you want to put on the small one?" Gene asked Wolfwood, who was currently trying not to laugh at the duo's antics. Spike gave the outlaw a look as though he was wondering at the redhead's intelligence level.

"No more than five. Alucard's only playing with him," the preacher answered. "If he weren't, he would have had that kid moments ago. I think he's testing the kid out."

"For what?" Vash queried.

"...for genetic comparison," Ryou noted. The four elder chibis gave him odd looks.

"...what the HELL are you talking about?" Gene asked. Vash blinked, but after a few moments, Wolfwood and Spike got the message the kid was trying to convey.

Spike cleared his throat. "So you think-?"

"Most definately. Not only that- look at the other two accompanying him-" Ryou pointed out the younger child called Liam and the smaller girl known as Genesis. "Same face structure- although the other parent is questionable, at this point-"

"Why would they show up here of all places unless both parents were here?" Wolfwood asked. "That just wouldn't make any sense... that means-" his eyes grew wide- "that means that either Saber or Shadow is the mother of these kids-"

"And that the others are the other girl's children?" Vash asked, picking up the thread of thought.

"That'd actually make sense," Gene agreed, gesturing towards Locke and Alucard, who were still dancing about each other, Alucard towards, Locke away. "But... then who would be the parents of the other kids? And why are there so many? I'm assuming that each girl didn't have a harem of men... I mean, for a man, it's one thing, but-"

"Are you saying that a woman can't do the same thing as a man?" Saber interjected, having heard the last line. Gene looked for somewhere to hide, and Spike sighed.

"...and he's supposed to be a bounty hunter? Hopeless..."

Saber started to go in search for the chibi Gene, who had apparently taken the interjection by Spike to be a reasonable cover, but was instead interrupted by a pair of bright blue eyes.

"...um... hello?" Saber asked, staring down at the little boy that sat in front of her. Kish, having noticed the blonde college student's movement, had followed and was floating next to her.

"Who's this?"

"My name's Brannet!" The little imp yelled, nearly knocking out Saber's sensitive eardrums. The cat-girl fell back onto her haunches, shook her head, then kneeled in front of the kid to inspect him.

"Brannet, huh? So you like electricity," Saber murmured. The young boy blinked.

"Yeah... how'd you know?"

"The name means 'electric one', if I recall correctly," Saberpilot grinned. Kish blinked, suddenly noticing a few similarities between the two talking.

"So... why'd you come here?" Saber pressed the little boy, who crossed his arms whenever she asked.

"Well... sister," he started, sniffling as he did, "and Cecile decided that I need to be taken care of by someone other than my parents... according to Jayde, Mom lets me get away with too much, and Da encourages me to do bad things."

"What kinds of bad things?" Kish asked, curious. The kid seemed reluctant to answer, but after a gentle smile from Saber, he started.

"Well... I like to take apart Mom's electronics and make new things... I call it inventing, but Mom sometimes needs those parts for her own inventions... I like to use Mom's inventions without asking... on Cecile, or Jayde..."

"That doesn't sound too bad," Kish blinked. "In fact, it sounds like fun!"

"Yeah, but Jayde doesn't like it," Brannet sniffled. "So she used Mom's time machine to-" He stopped, placing both his hands over his mouth. Saber looked at Kish.

"Time machine...? I didn't know that someone could actually make those things... it's supposed to be impossible."

"...so's a dimensional transport," Kish pointed out to Saber, who nodded.

"True."

"Stop it, you two!"

"Alucard," Saber and Kish said at the same time. Saber held out her hand to little Brannet, who took it with a grin. The three of them then walked over and joined Wolfwood, Spike, Gene, and Vash in the watching of the two red-glasses wearing men fight it out... which now apparently had a new part of drama within it- Shadow was trying to get between the two.

"That's enough!" She yelled, but it seemed as though neither was heeding her words. It seemed as though the boy Locke also had the ability to disapparate, because it was nearly now a blur of a red jacket and school clothes that wrapped themselves around Shadow.

"Ugh! Why don't you two just stop it!"

"...because it's entertaining?" Xellos put forth.

"Not a good enough answer," Shadow growled. 'Saber, why do men have to be such idiots?"

"I dunno," Saber replied.

Shadow pulled off her silver necklace, then used it like a whip, catching Alucard on the side of the face. That got his attention momentarily and the look Shadow gave him would have killed even the bravest of mortals... Alucard simply smirked at her. However, when Shadow spoke, both men paused. Her voice was even, low, and very very cold. "If you don't stop this right now," she began slowly, "then I will send you back to Integral Hellsing chibified and permenantly made into a female using battery acid, holy water and molten silver. Do I make myself clear?"

"Are you sure she's our mum?" Genesis asked, breaking free of her older brother's grasp and going to try and save Alucard. "She sure doesn't act like that at home."

"Genesis, you dolt!" Liam shouted. "You weren't supposed to say anything!"

"Well go ahead and shout it louder, you freak!" the little girl snapped back.

Shadow watched the exchange, stunned, and Alucard was smirking again, as if something had been confirmed for him.

"M-mum?" she repeated. She spun around and peered closely at Locke, then at Alucard. Then she walked over to Liam and Genesis, looking closely at their faces. "Y-you..." She gently grabbed Genesis' face by the chin, to get an even closer look at the girl, when Genesis snapped at Shadow, biting the silver haired girl's hand.

"OUCH!" she shouted, jumping back while Liam cuffed his sister. Shadow chuckled wryly. "Well there's no doubt in my mind... that one's mine. Which means these two must be mine as well. Alu-san, leave Locke alone before I send you gift wrapped to Iscariot!"

"So if those three are yours," Saber began slowly.

"Then those two-" Shadow pointed to Rem and Nicholas, "- are yours."

"Oh God..." Saber started, her anxiety level going through the roof. "Oh God... Oh God oh God oh God oh God..."

"But who's the dad?" Wolfwood asked, questioningly. Shadow-chan threw him an 'it's-so-obvious' glance.

"Duh- look at the hair color- the way the hair sticks up on the boy- um... Nicholas! It's obvious- they're Saber and Vash's kids!" Shadow-chan nearly yelled at the chibi priest, who flew back from the strong yell of Shadow-chan. Spike raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

"WHAT?" Kish yelled, and Saber proceeded to bawl from the noise levels surrounding her; her sensitive cat ears were hearing decible levels near that of an airplane. The alien winced, realizing that he'd hurt her, but his anger would not be withheld. "What- you mean that she- and him-" he pointed towards the two- "have KIDS? In the FUTURE?"

"It would appear so," Ryou agreed, nodding. Kish fell to the ground from his lofty position in the air, his expression very dejected and hurt. Vash, overcome with shock slightly, walked over to Saberpilot and proceeded to try and comfort her, hugging her.

"Please don't cry, Mom!" Rem stated, seeing the blonde cat-girl crying. Upon closer inspection, it could be seen that the girl's ears were slightly pointed at the ends. Nicholas followed, and both kneeled in front of Saber and Vash. Rem took the weeping blonde's hands into her own.

"Please don't cry... we didn't mean to upset or scare you- you weren't even supposed to know," she stated simply. Nicholas rolled his eyes.

"Yeah- good going on that one, Genesis," he commented to the little imp, who crossed her arms.

"I just couldn't believe that Mum would do something like-" she blinked when she noticed Shadow-chan's slightly agitated expression. "What?"

"...you are MY kid?" Shadow-chan asked, then shook her head. "No, wait, wait, wait a minute here. Why did all of you come here in the first place? And who-" she pointed at Jayde and Cecile, "are these kids-" Shadow-chan released her supposed future husband Alucard and placed her hands on her hips. "I want some answers. NOW."

"...Mum hasn't changed in some ways," Liam noted to Locke, who nodded in agreeance. Shadow glared at the two boys until Locke held up his hands in mock-defeat.

"Okay, okay- some answers-" Locke then thought of something, and turned to Jayde and Cecile. "You wouldn't... be here for the same reason that we are... would you?"

The elder girl blinked, then nodded towards Brannet, who was still sitting next to Saberpilot and Kish. Locke's eyes narrowed, and he looked towards Genesis. Jayde's eyes grew wide, and she proceeded to laugh out loud.

"Well, imagine that... we are here for the same reason," she grinned. Saber, Shadow, and the rest of present company blinked in confusion. It was then that Shadow-chan grew impatient.

"Answers. I thought you were going to give me some," she flat-out stated. Locke and Jayde both laughed nervously, then stopped when Shadow snapped her fingers.

"I'm waiting."

"Well, um..."

"I don't wanna go back!" Brannet suddenly exclaimed, taking everyone by surprise at his outburst. He looked his sister Jayde straight in the eye, then Cecile. "And you can't make me."

"...now I'm really confused," Wolfwood pointed out. "...what the heck's going on?"

"Well, you see," Liam began, a bit uncomfortably. "We came back because we needed your help with a problem… or should we say problem child." He pointed at Genesis who glared back at him. "In the future, Dad-" He pointed to Alucard. "- let her get away with just about everything, because she's your little girl."

"She has you wrapped around her finger," Locke stated dryly.

"What about me?" Shadow asked. 'I know I wouldn't let her get away with anything."

"By the time you get home from teaching at school everyday, you let us do just about anything as long as it isn't murder or destroying London," Liam explained. "Aunt Integral has attempted to pound manners into all of us, but when it comes to Genesis, Aunt is smitten. Genesis is a real devil."

"You take that back, you heathenous moron!" the little girl shouted.

"Our mother, you in the future," Rem added to the conversation, speaking to Saberpilot, "suggested we look to the past for help… I think you knew that Shadow'd be able to solve Genesis's bad behavior…"

"And what about you three?" Spike asked of the rest of the children. "Who do you belong to?"

"Well, I guess since the cat is out of the bag," Cecile began, "I 'belong' to you." She pointed to Shadow. "And to you," she added, pointing to Ryou. "These two are yours and his," she finished, pointing to Kish and Saber. Kish grinned triumphantly.

"But that's not possible!" Gene protested. "They can't be married to both!"

"Alternate futures and parallel universes, among... other things," Cecile explained. 'It's true."

"We came back because of this Imp," Jayde said, pointing to her brother. "Though I don't think he's as bad as that one."

Everyone's eyes fell back on Shadow and Genesis, who were glaring at each other.

"There's definitely no way that this old hag is my mother!" Genesis shouted, kicking Shadow in the shin.

"OLD HAG!" Shadow repeated, outraged. She grabbed Genesis by the collar just as the little girl turned to leave.

"Let go of me, you bitch!"

Shadow raised an eyebrow, then proceeded to lift the girl off the floor by her waist, delivering a swift blow to her behind. Genesis froze up, as did her brothers, shocked. Shadow set a stunned Genesis back on the floor.

"If you're going to talk like that then you'll get the same punishment I did as a child, either a spanking or a bar of soap in the mouth," Shadow stated in an even, motherly tone. "Children aren't supposed to swear. Are we clear on that?"

Genesis glared up at Shadow, then teared up. "I hate you! There's no way you can be my mommy! You're too mean!"

Shadow sighed lightly but didn't give in to the crying. "Everyone, into the kitchen… we need to sort things out."

Saberpilot and the others followed, albeit a bit nervously. Rem, Nicholas, and Brannet helped their mother up, Kish and Vash on either side of the blonde as though they were honor guards. After a stern look to each other, Alucard and Locke followed- both of them attempting to out-apparate the other into the kitchen. Liam shook his head, then dragged his wayward sister off the floor into the kitchen.

"...this is most definately interesting," Xellos noted, following the others. Both Spike and Wolfwood looked at each other, about to comment, then shook their heads.

"Too easy," Wolfwood agreed with Spike's silent nod. The bounty hunter smirked, then followed the rest of them. Jayde scooped up Gene by both arms and dragged him along, muttering something about 'perverted uncles' as she did so.

Cecile stood in front of her chibified father as the others left for the kitchen, Ryou staring up at the girl. She knelt down and looked at him, her now clearly green eyes wide with wonder. She blinked, then opened her mouth to speak.

"So... this is what you looked like?" she asked, slightly afraid for some reason. Ryou nodded, then smiled gently at her.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Well, I just- you never really talk about this time in the past," Cecile said, looking down at Ryou. "Mom doesn't, either... it's almost as if it was a shameful time or something-"

"It's not shameful," Ryou stated, smiling slightly. He placed his hand on Cecile's. "I'm sure that whatever the reason, it's a good one that I haven't told you about things here. I don't know what kind of man I am in the future, but I must at least be somewhat of a good father- you seem like a very intelligent and kind young woman," he grinned. Cecile grinned as well.

"Shall we go and join them?" She asked, smiling. Ryou nodded, and was surprised to suddenly find himself in his future daughter's arms. She winked at him.

"Hey, while you're this small, I get to carry you," she smiled. Ryou grinned, and they went to join the others.

* * *

"So what exactly is the problem with Brannet?" Shadow-chan asked Jayde, ignoring her future daughter Genesis for the moment, who was still angry at the silver-haired college student. "He looks pretty all right to me, in comparison to this one," she said, nodding towards the little girl.

Genesis looked about ready to kill her future parent.

"Well, he's not THAT bad," Jayde admitted, smiling at him. "It's just- I can't keep him under control, and neither can Mom. Dad eggs him on, and there's nothing I can say that'll keep the tyke from destroying the planet," she laughed. Wolfwood dropped his cigarette after hearing the last statement.

"...d-destroying the PLANET?" Spike blinked along with the preacher. Jayde laughed.

"Well, we ARE half-alien," she smiled. "Dad's taught us all about our abilities since we were very young- Brannet loves electronics, but doesn't seem to realize that if he powers them with his abilities..." she shrugged and laughed. "He's a silly little kid. But you see our problem."

"Y-yes," Wolfwood blinked. "I could see where that could be an issue..."

"But he's not dangerous," Saber smiled. The little tyke was sitting on her lap, snuggling against her as she stroked his hair. "He's just mischievious. He actually reminds me of myself when I was that age," she smiled. Shadow-chan blinked.

"You tried to blow up the planet with a toaster-turned-experiment? That explains a few things..."

"...would your child be interested in helping me overthrow the world-" Xellos started, only to find himself backhanded by Jayde.

"Hmmph. My mom may be a pacifist, but I sure as hell am not, and you are NOT going to use my little brother for your schemes. YOU haven't changed a bit, Uncle Xellos."

"...Uncle?" Spike blinked, then raised a hand. "Does that mean that-"

"What? You're all our uncles!" Rem stated happily. Locke and Liam looked a little embarrassed.

"What is there something wrong with us being your uncles?" Xellos inquired of the two boys.

"Well, you're kind of a bad influence on the girls," Locke said.

Gene snorted. "As if their mothers aren't bad enough influences!"

"Us?" Shadow asked with mock innocence. "Never."

The chibi outlaw rolled his eyes. "Please."

"Shadow, do we have enough room for all of them?" Saber asked worridly. "I mean, with the chibis and now eight kids? I know you can't manage THAT many people..."

"You've never been to my home on Christmas," Shadow grinned. "No worries, we'll figure something out. If anything, we'll just ask Washu to add on more rooms. Right? Let's just worry about our two main problems. Janie. And this little brat."

"Ugly wench!" Genesis spat. "Wh-"

Shadow grabbed a bar of soap and shoved it into the little girl's mouth, holding it there. When Genesis tried to pull away, Shadow grabbed her by the hair, holding her still. "For every insult you say that is completely inapproriate, meaning either slanderous or swearing, you'll get a bar of soap." She let Genesis go and removed the soap. "Now rinse your mouth out and think about what I said."

"I hate you!" Genesis cried, running out of the room.

"Do you think you're being too harsh?" Saber asked cautiously.

"Not at all," Shadow replied calmly. "It's what my mother did to me and what hers did to her. It'll work. You'll see."

"Shadow..." Saber started, then sighed. "How are we going to afford food for all these people? And stop Janie, and get good grades in college, and-" the cat-girl started to hypervenhilate, worrying herself to death. Shadow-chan slapped herself on the forehead, and Kish and Vash became quite worried.

"Saber, don't-" Vash started, remembering what had happened the last time the blonde had become this upset. However, his warning did no good, as Saberpilot the cat-girl disappeared, only to be replaced with Saberpilot the blonde cat. Wolfwood sighed, then turned to Shadow-chan and the others.

"Good job. DAMN good job. Now she's a cat again." He looked at all the kids. "See what your coming back did? Now she's a-"

"It's easy to fix," Nicholas stated matter of factly. Wolfwood blinked at his namesake. The child continued. "Dad just has to kiss her. That's all."

"...kiss her? What kind of setup is this place?" Spike questioned. Vash's face turned beet red.

"...kiss he-"

"Hey, if you're not up to it," Kish stated, then turned to pick up cat Saber. When he did, though, he saw that she was nowhere to be found. He blinked. "Where'd she go?"

A loud hiss reached the group's ears, and Shadow-chan sighed. "Bet you can't guess who that is. Saber, what is it? Find something-" she started, walking back into the living room, where the blonde feline Saber stood, her complete fur on end. It appeared as though she was watching the television.

"...that's right, call in now and get your premiere set of Pokemon designer clothes- word is on the street that these were designed by the reclusive president of Forka and Company..."

The screen showed a saleswoman holding up outfits that were completely bizarre, but completely Pokemon. Models walked down a runway, sporting the outfits, not realizing how completely weird, or stupid, they looked. Shadow-chan's jaw dropped.

"You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding."

Saberpilot the cat hissed some more, then shook her head in answer. Cecile bit her lip and ran to Ryou's side, picking the chibi genius up.

"Daddy, I'm scared."

Rem and Nicholas stood next to Jayde, whose fists were clenched in rage. Brannet started to cry in his older sister's clothes, the older girl placing her hand on his hair. The little boy seemed to glow for a second, but Kish walked over and calmed the tyke down slightly.

"This isn't good," Wolfwood stated through slightly clenched teeth. "She's taken over more dimensions, hasn't she?"

"Looks like it," Spike agreed. "You guys were right- this girl really is evil."

Saberpilot the cat hissed once more, then stared back at Shadow-chan, as if to state that she'd been right earlier in assessing the threat of Janie Forka. Shadow-chan blinked, then held up her hands in defeat.

"Okay, I get it, I get it. You were right, I underestimated her. Okay?"

Saber sniffed the air once, then ran over to Brannet, curling against his pantleg. The young boy smiled and started to pet his future mother. Xellos grinned, a feral grin at that.

"Well. Looks like we're going to have to get serious on this girl, eh?"

"It would appear so," Shadow-chan sighed. Alucard and Locke appeared next to her, both of them looking as though they would thoroughly enjoy whatever chaos came from this. Genesis ran next to Shadow and hugged her middle, finding the girl to be a good source of comfort, even if she hated her. Liam's expression was serious.

"...you never told us about this," he spoke to Shadow.

"Probably because you won't exist if we don't take care of it," Ryou stated, his expression just as serious as the others'. He hugged Cecile, whose expression became even more afraid. Shadow-chan nodded, then pointed to Vash.

"Kiss Saberpilot. We've got some plans to start working on."

"Ki-Plans? Wha-"

"Just do it," Shadow-chan stated. Vash, turning bright red, held out his chibi gloved hand to Saberpilot, who cautiously padded next to the gunner. When he held her in his arms, he leaned forward and gave the blonde cat a kiss, much to Kish's chagrin. Seconds later, a full-size Saberpilot lay in his chibi arms... which couldn't support him, and made him fall on top of her.

"Alright, enough of that," Kish growled, glaring at Vash. "We have work to do."

"Might I ask a queston?" Wolfwood called out raising his hand.

"Ye-es?" Shadow replied.

"How are we supposed to help you fight this wacko if all of our weapons shoot out nothing but water?!"

"He has a point," Saber said, blushing.

"Indeed he does. Good thing I was prepared for this."

"Y-you were prepared for Pokemon designer clothes?" Saber asked, shocked.

"No, not that," Shadow replied with the wave of one hand, digging into her backpack. "For the time when we'd actually have to make a truce with the chibis to let them be full-sized in case of an all our war with Janie."

"Why on earth would you be prepared for something like that?" Gene asked.

"Don't you know the boyscout's motto is 'always be prepared'?"

"But you're a girl," the chibi outlaw pointed out.

"And I'm a boy scout," Shadow stated, grinning at Gene's confused look.

".. wha? How does that work?"

"Confusing, ain't it?" Shadow grinned, pulling out a scroll of white parchment. "In any event, this little puppy is a treaty. There aren't a lot of rules and it's fairly simple to follow. If you agree to the terms and sign it, you get to be full sized again."

"What are the terms?" Kish asked cautiously.

"Term one: there will be no consumption of alochol in this house without express permission of either myself or Saber, even if you're over 21 or the equivalent thereof," Shadow began, ignoring a few face-falls at this.

"Term number two: there will be no escape attempts. Any such attempt will result in the return to chibified stature." Spike raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Term number three: you will all help out in chores." A few groans accompanied this one, but Shadow continued.

"And finally term four, which applies to mainly to Gene. And that term is that Gene Starwind shall not grope or enter into any other such vile acts of ludeness. Any such acts wll result in being returned to chibified stature and painful and embarrassment punishment. Any questions?"

"You actually came up with that on your own?" Ryou asked.

Shadow nodded proudly.

"Who has a pen?" Wolfwood asked.

The other chibis were just as quick to sign the agreement, though Gene grumbled about the terms of the fourth part.

"Okay, we've signed it, now turn us back," Xellos ordered.

"Saber, you heard the mazuko."

"Yes, ma'am," Saber grinned, flipping the chibi-ray to reverse and firing it on the group. When the light cleared away everyone was back to their original size.

"Finally!" Wolfwood cried out joyously. He was about to say something else when a little boy stepped into the room, looking around fearfully. Wolfwood stared at him, as did everyone else, and he couldn't help but notice some similarities. Both Shadow and Saber seemed to notice some as well, for both girls looked at him, Saber's look one of surprise and glee, Shadow's of questioning and... something else.

"Wolfwood?"

Wolfwood gulped and squeaked, "Yes?"

"Come. Here."

"Help me!"

"Wow... three sets of kids," Saber grinned. "So much for sanity."

* * *

shadow: yes. as if things weren't crazy enough, now children have been tossed into the mix. this is why people shouldn't write things at three in the morning, neh?

saber: or when they've been eating lots of sugar either


	15. Not On Doughnuts Alone

Shadow-chan sat at her desk, contemplating. Things had changed a lot since Saberpilot had made that damn chibi ray- not that they had changed for the worse, per say, but they had **_changed_**, and that was the main idea behind her little thought-processes here. 

A great deal of time had passed... and in the course of that time it seemed like an eternity of change had occured. First off, there were the chibis themselves. Vash, Alucard, Xellos... just to name a few. So many different personalities... so much food, she groaned inwardly. But it had all been worth it- they added a warmth and dimension to their home that would have never been there if they hadn't traveled to their universes and 'rescued' them.

Then there had been the little 'genetic' changes that had occurred- Saber's transformation into a REAL catgirl, as well as Shadow's own half-genetic mutation into a Plant thanks to Knives. It made life... interesting. Shadow-chan now had to drink more water than she'd care to admit, actually eat breakfast in the morning, and she had to watch herself around electric things...

In any case, she was now permanently changed from their 'misadventures' physically... not to mention mentally. Speaking of mentally, what the HELL was with all these rug-rats running around? Not that Shadow minded, of course, she always had liked kids. But WHEN THE HELL had she asked for her kids from the future to come and visit her? And since when had she apparently had THREE SUITORS?!

...it was all too surreal at times. But then, reality kicked in whenever she thought about Forka and what hardships she'd put them through. If not her alone.. then Saber, at least.

She'd never seen the well known 'stupid genius' snap before that incident with the Pokemon otaku. It could have been the new genetic structure, as some of the bishounen (mostly Kish, for some odd reason) seemed to argue, but Shadow wasn't quite sure. The girl had been picked on when she'd been little, and everyone had a stress point.

In any case, the situation had been solved by yelling at her, (which Shadow hadn't enjoyed... but Saber had gotten the picture, she'd thought) and then giving the girl a hug.

Besides those obvious changes to their already hectic lives as college students, everything should have been okay.

**_Should _**have.

...Yue-chan was still missing. Her twin, her other half, had gone to the 'dark side' almost a full month and a half ago, and the last time she'd seen her... well, it hadn't ended pretty, to say the least. Shadow still didn't understand why she was helping Janie Forka; after all, the girl had no interest in Yue's cares, and it seemed she'd reduced her twin to the level of 'Ash Ketchum babysitter'.

"Yue-chan," Shadow-chan whispered aloud. There had to be_some_ way to get her back, to make her see the truth about Forka. Some way-

"Mom- I mean, Shadow-chan?" a tiny voice asked, cutting into the middle of Shadow's thoughts. The silver-haired college student looked down to see Nicholas Wolfwood Jr., his young expression open and eyes wide.

"Yes?"

"Aun-I mean, Saberpilot said to tell you that din-supper," he corrected himself, "is ready," he said.

"Oh," Shadow-chan stated. Apparently that's what the little blonde cat-girl had been doing all this time. With a sigh of regret, she stood up and let herself hold hands with the little tyke, letting him lead the way.

Yue-chan would just have to wait for another day.

* * *

"More doughnuts? Saber, you spoil me!" Vash exclaimed from inside the dining room. The girl's feline ears were already tweaked and pointed straight in the air, and her face was red as Vash paid her the compliment.

"No-not really," she whispered slightly. "I- um... like doughnuts too..."

"As do I," Kish smiled genially. His eyes, however, were like darts towards Vash. "I'm sure that you were thinking of me when you bought all these, right?"

"Well, um..." Saber could not respond, both handsome, fully grown males looking as though they were ready to fight. The silence that followed Saberpilot's muffled reply could have been cut with a butter knife.

"She got them for me," Shadow-chan winked as she entered the kitchen with her small escort. Both the men blinked in surprise. "After all, she knows I love pastries just as much as she does," she winked, taking a few and setting them on her plate. Kish grumbled something and crossed his arms, and Vash blinked.

Then Shadow looked down at her plate and sweatdropped. "Wait. Saber?"

"Hmm?" the blonde inquired.

"Why are we eating doughnuts for supper?"

"... Vash and Kish wanted them and the kids didn't seem to mind?"

Shadow sighed and pushed the plate forward, looking sympathetically at Saber, who looked a bit hurt. "It has nothing to do with you. I just can't live on doughnuts alone, unlike some people."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with that!" Vash protested.

"Especially when its my beloved Saber who's made them," Kish added, stabbing a glance at Vash.

"Maybe for you, there's not. But I cannot live upon sweets alone, despite the amount of pixie sticks that I eat. So, I'm going to heat up something... with protein in it. I'll eat the doughnuts for dessert." She pulled some chicken out of the freezer and placed it in a skillet on the stove, adding rosemary, garlic, and sage to the meat. Pretty quick that scent brought a few of the adults sniffing their way into the kitchen.

"What's that?" Gene inquired, peering over Shadow's shoulder.

"Rosemary-garlic chicken," Shadow replied, ignoring the fact that he was hovering so close.

"Smells good."

"Glad you think so."

"So... how about you, me, a little bit of candlelight... we can-"

"Touch my food and I'll stab you with this fork," Shadow stated in a perfectly calm, even, normal voice.

"Burned," Kish, Vash, and Saber all laughed at once.

"Yeah, yeah," Gene muttered to himself, skulking off. "The candelight offer is still open, regardless of the food you know," he added from the door. Only to find himself being beaned with Shadow's boot. The outlaw stumbled into the living room, falling on his behind, getting tackled by Genesis, followed by Nicky, Brannet, and Cecile.

"Get off me, Cecile!" Brannet shouted.

"You get off me!" Nicky yelped from beneath the two.

"You two are such babies," Genesis called, nonplussed from underneath the pile, doing her best to squash Gene.

"Can't... move..." Gene gasped. "Can't... breath! Get. Them. Off!"

"You know, you whine too much," Genesis snickered. "Some famous outlaw and/or bounty hunter you are."

"I'll show you!" Gene growled, trying to sit up. "You just wait! I'll tie you to the ceiling fan and leave you there to rot!"

"Excuse me?" Liam asked, now standing over Gene's head. Gene looked up at the boy.

"What do you want?" Gene snapped.

"No one threatens my little sister except me... and maybe Locke."

"Oh yeah?" Gene asked sarcastically, unable to keep his mouth shut. "What're you going to do about it, huh kid?"

"This," Liam stated, joining the dogpile.

"Oomph!" was all Gene could get out from the added weight.

"Do you think we should save him?" Ryou asked from a chair.

"They look like they're having fun," Wolfwood said, not quite sure he wanted to get involved. The kids might turn and try to tackle him, or one of the other adults. No... best to let Gene handle this... after all, the outlaw had brought it on himself...

"If his face starts to turn blue, then we can do something about it," Xellos concluded. "Maybe."

Rem and Nicholas giggled watching the children hold down the outlaw, both of their blue eyes twinkling merrily. The girl looked at Vash, then at Saber, her eyes still twinkling. Saber blinked, not understanding.

"Is dad still ticklish now?"

Saber didn't answer. "I- I don't really-"

Rem didn't pay attention to her answer, instead, jumping on her future father and starting to tickle him. Nicholas joined in, pulling Saber along.

"No, no, stop!" Vash pleaded, trying to pry his future children and wife off of him. Pretty soon they were little more than a rolling pile of squirmng people on the floor next to the pile that contained Gene.

"What, you don't intend to join them in their antics?" Xellos asked Shadow slyly, eyeying her first, then Wolfwood, Alucard, and Ryou.

Shadow took a bite of her finished chicken, chewing thoughtfully before answering. "No," she stated. "Because the minute I left the table I would probably have my food stolen by... someone. And because if I wound up on the floor lord and lady only knows what'll happen. Most likely everyone will pile onto me. And I'm not ticklish."

"Is that so?" Wolfwood asked, as if he didn't believe her.

"Don't even think about it," Shadow warned.

"Think about what?" the priest asked innocently.

Shadow pointed her fork at him as he inched a bit closer. "I'm warning you, priest. I will hit you with this, and it will not feel good."

"My money is on the woman with the fork," Xellos grinned.

Wolfwood feinted a poke at the silver haired woman, who made a move to block his hand. "You're quick."

"I will stab you, Nicholas D-"

"Uh-oh, she's using the middle name," he interrupted, teasing her.

"Perhaps you should just let her finish her dinner," Ryou suggested, though he seemed to go unheard.

Wolfwood sighed, standing up. "Fine," he said, pretending to walk away as hemoved behind her, as if to circle the table to leave the room. "Since you don't want to be any fun..."

Shadow went to take another bite of chicken when Wolfwood put his arms around her waist and lifted her out of the chair, carrying her to the living room where the kids had finally untangled themselves from Gene. "Kids, prove me wrong," Wolfwood said, setting Shadow down on the floor. Shadow was about to snap something when she found herself underneath a pile of squirming children.

"Spike, how nice of you to join us," Wolfwood said, returning to the kitchen to see the green haired man finishing off Shadow's chicken. The priest looked at him for a moment before sweatdropping. "Well at least I'm not going to be the one in trouble any more."

"She'll still hit you for removing her from the table," Alucard pointed out.

"Probably," Wolfwood shrugged, watching Spike make a hasty exit before anyone saw him return to his hiding place. "But she needs to do something that will take her mind off the current situation. Why not play with the kids?"

"So she intends to go through with her plan?" Ryou asked. The older men nodded. Ryou just shook his head. "I don't like it."

"She's a strong woman, she can handle it," Wolfwood stated.

"Saber's also a very strong pacifist and she was halfway into a complete meltdown that nearly killed the woman," Ryou pointed out. "You saw what happened when she realized what she nearly did. Do you think Shadow will be able to survive, intact, after she does finish the job?"

"What happens is what happens," Xellos stated in a non-comittal tone.

"Oi," Shadow panted, managing to make it back to the table. "What're y'all chatting about, huh?" She then noticed that her plate was empty. "WHO ATE MY CHICKEN?!?"

Spike Spiegel had never looked so intent on skipping a scene as he did at that moment.

* * *

With a audible THUD two women and one young man, along with several pokemon, fell onto the empty floor of a college room. One side was covered with posters of the latest boybands while the other side was covered with posters of Ash and other various pokemon paraphanelia. A girl with red hair in pigtails and glasses stood up, looking very cheerful.

"We're back!" she exclaimed, tossing the leash connected to the young man to the other girl. "At last, we've returned! Do you see, Yue? We're back in our world!"

"Wonderful," Yue muttered.

"Let us see how much success I've had," Janie cackled, flipping on the TV. Nearly every channel she flipped to had something involving Pokemon and the rising market thereof. "Excellent! Yue, be sure to tie my beloved to the bedpost. I wouldn't want him trying to escape. And feed the Pokemon as well."

Yue's eyebrow twitched as she climbed to her feet, doing as she was told until she saw a list lying on Janie's computer desk. It was a list of anime universes, some of the names having been crossed off. Yue assumed they were ones that they'd visited. Janie had tossed it onto the desk before turning on the tv. Yue was about to walk away until she saw a name on the list that made her very agitated.

"The Rockman universe?"

"Oh, we haven't been there yet, but it's on my list of places to destroy," Janie said offhandedy, still watching the television.

"_WHAT_?"

"Oh, yeah, it's just a little, back-water universe that no one's really going to care about if we destroy." The evil genius continued to watch the television, entranced by the effects that she'd caused throughout the globe. "How's my pet Ash doing, by the way? Don't feed him too much, you know."

Without even thinking, Yue grabbed Janie's DGT, untied Ash and activated the device. A slightly crazed expression took over her visage. The DGT sparked to life, black electricity surrounding the twin of Shadow's invention.

"What do you think you're doing?" Janie demanded.

"No one messes with my Rockman," Yue snarled as the portal opened up. She pushed Ash through, the pokemon following him. Janie glared at Yue.

"We could have destroyed the world as it is and made ourselves a paradise. But no- you had to blow it all away with your fascination for some stupid piece of technology-"

"The portal's about to close," Yue smirked.

With a low growl that was aimed towards her former co-hort, Janie Forka grabbed the DGT and jumped into the portal after her beloved Ash and the Pokemon. The portal vanished a moment later, leaving Yue alone in the now-empty dorm room.

"Now to get home," Yue muttered. "But before I do that..." She walked over to Forka's computer, inspecting the machine. Smiling at the already pre-programmed Kawaii Neko AI that Saberpilot had so obviously infected the computer with, Yue snapped her fingers, an idea coming to mind. Working quickly, she communicated to the little AI and added something into its programming. Moments later a little image of a met-tool appeared on the screen bouncing around while saying: 'the power of Capcom compells you' over and over.

"That'll do it."

Yue-chan smirked at her surroundings, then grinned widely. "Perhaps before I return home, I should do a bit of redecorating... I wonder what Janie thinks about the color pink...?"

* * *

"Shadow, you need to wake up," Alucard whispered into the silver haired girl's ear, causing her to shiver in her sleep.

"You shouldn't toy with her like that," Ryou admonished.

"She keeps silver on so I cannot toy with her any other way,"Alucard responded, wrapping a small lock of Shadow's hair around his gloved hand.

Ryou just glared at the vampire before turning his attention back to the sleeping girl. "Shadow, wake up! Saber needs you to see something."

"Five more minutes," Shadow murmered in her sleep. "Just five more minutes. I'll make it to class... it's just...across... the street..."

"You two are hopeless," Saber grinned, showing up at the door. "Watch and learn." She jumped onto the side of Shadow's bed, shouting out in a chipper voice, "WAKE UP!"

"AHHHH!" Shadow yelped, bolting into a sitting position, using her pillow as a shield / weapon. "Saber! That was mean!"

"You need to see this!" Saber exclaimed, ignoring Shadow's plaintive groans. "There's good news and bad news, and you need to see both right away!"

"Can I change into normal clothes?"

"No time!" Saber said, grabbing Shadow's arm and dragging her out of the room in pajamas... which happened to be a large t-shirt and a pair of biker shorts. They entered the living room, where Gene, Wolfwood, Xellos, and Vash were all sitting, watching TV. Saber's laptop was hooked up on the counter.

"Woah!" Xellos snickered. "You look like something the monster dragged in."

"Who are you kidding?" Gene countered, eyeing Shadow up. "She looks just great from my viewpoint."

"Why you little-"

"Shadow, look." Saber interrupted, pointing to the tv. It was the president of the US, and instead of rambling about health care or taxes, he was rambling on about the benefits of raising certain types of Pokemon to increase the production of food-stuffs. Shadow's jaw dropped.

"... yeah, that's the bad news." Saber looked as though she hadn't gotten any sleep, so many dark circles were under her eyes.

"I'm afraid to ask, but what's the good news?" Shadow started, her voice hesitant.

"This is the good news," Saber stated, drawing Shadow over to the laptop and typing up some commands that displayed a video streamed image. "Yue's home. She broke away from that freak. Something about Forka wanting to destroy the Rockman universe. But she's home."

"She's home...? SHE'S HOME!" Shadow exclaimed, jumping up and down like a kid at Christmas. "She came back! Yue-chan came back!" She hugged Saber than ran over to the men, giving them all hugs. Vash looked shell-shocked, Xellos looked disgusted, and Gene looked as pleased as punch.

"Saber, tell her again what the good news is," Gene suggested. Instead he got a kick from Shadow.

"Pervert..."

"Hey- you're the one who hugged me!" Gene retorted.

"Momentary loss of sanity," Shadow covered.

"Sense when have you been sane, you crazy bird?"

Wolfwood and Vash watched the bickering go back and forth with nervous and embarrassed grins.

"Well, at least things are getting back to normal," Wolfwood offered with a nervous laugh.

"Maybe," Vash agreed, "maybe it's a sign. Things are getting back to normal. ...maybe."

* * *

Shadow: this might actually be the shortest chapter left. Its starting to wind down folks. Yue's not evil anymore and Forka's getting a bit desperate... And some of the guys are just asking for trouble by stealing Shadow's food. XD. Could it possibly get more insane?

Saber: She had to ask... didn't she?

Shadow: ... yeah... murphy's law. Now thatI've asked, its going to get even worse. ;


	16. A Final Battle Or Something Like It

Disclaimer: let's see, we don't own Pokemon, Slayers, Trigun, Tokyo Mew Mew, Cowboy Bebop, Hellsing, Tenchi, Outlaw Star, Petshop of Horrors, and or Fullmetal Alchemist. They belong to their respective owners. We own all of the children, Yue (who lost her soul in a game of drunken uno), Forka, and our own respective selves (snirk). So no stealing from us either!

* * *

"Okay, we really need to stop this before it gets any worse and Forka is named ruler of the world," Saber stated to a very attentive audience. "All of the children will be staying here, however, until we or Washu is able to fix the time-space continum to send you all home."

This was met with a bunch of 'come on's' and 'why not's'. Shadow answered that question before the protests got any louder. "We're your mothers, or we will be in a matter of years. As such we want what's best for you and that means that we're not going to put you into harm's way."

"But what if you get hurt?" Nicholas asked.

"We won't," Shadow countered. "You're here, so we obviously make it through this."

"But," Rem spoke up quietly. "But the future isn't set in stone. Things can change. That's why you weren't supposed to know that we were your children."

Shadow looked uncomfortable and Saber jumped to the rescue. "Just trust us that we'll make it out of this just fine. Spike will remain behind on babysitting duty."

"What?" the bounty hunter protested. "Man, I hate kids."

"Which is such a shame," Genesis said in an evily playful tone. "Because we love you." Spike's eyebrow twitched and the little girl cackled evily.

"Ooookay," Saber continued, a bit nervously. "The rest of us will take the DGT and hope that we land in the same dimension as Forka. If not, we'll continue the general mission and do what we can to help prevent more spreading of the disease. Any questions? Good, lets go."

"I'm going," Locke said once the discussion was done.

"If he's going so am I," Jade and her brother both said at the same time.

"None of you are going," Alucard said in a cold tone. "This is not a battle for children."

"Then neither of our mothers should be going either," Locke replied, his red eyes narrowing.

"They are not children."

"Nineteen doesn't quite put them as adults on a psychological status either."

"You will stay put," Alucard warned. "Or I will make sure that you do not leave this place at all."

"You know, there's a lot to be said about species that eat their young," Shadow stepped in, breaking up the tense moment. "Or their mate," she added pointedly at Alucard.

Alucard gave her a toothy grin. "I would happily oblige in letting you sink your teeth into me."

Shadow mimed a blow at Alucard then turned to Locke, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Watch out for your sister."

"Alright," Locke agreed with a resigned sigh.

"Aight, good. Let me just get dressed..." Shadow ran back into her room, digging through her dresser drawers, then her closet. "DAMN IT!"

"What's wrong?" Ryou called.

Shadow didn't answer right away. A few moments later she returned to the living room wearing a short skirt, a red, form-fitting tank-top, and black sandles. A dress jacket was draped over one arm.

"You're going to fight Forka... in that?!" Saber asked, voicing the question that was on everyone's mind... the guys were just too busy picking their jaws up off of the floor to say anything.

"We forgot to do the laundry," Shadow grumbled. "It's all I have that's clean. And you're wearing a skirt too, even if it is ankle length!" Shadow looked down at herself, and sighed. "The sad thing is, this isn't even considered a short skirt in today's fashion."

"And that's a sad thing because... why?" Gene asked with a leacherous grin. Shadow responded by showing him her middle finger. Gene pretended to be hurt. "Oh, that's real deep."

"Grow up, Starwind," Shadow ordered.

"In any event, we should get going," Saber said, holding out the DGT.

"Yeah-" Shadow said, stopping short. "Oh, hang on, I forgot my watch!" She jogged back into her room again, with a surprising amount of grace given the skirt she was had the jacket on. She took the DGT and selected some random numbers. "Here's to hoping we get a good dimension, huh?"

"What's a bad dimension?" Kish asked curiously.

Shadow shrugged as the black hole appeared. "Dunno. A planet made entirely out of water? Who kn-" The adults vanished before she could finish her sentence, leaving Spike and the children alone in the living room.

"Well, there's not a lot we can do now but wait," Nicholas said.

"...so who's up for a game of clue?" Jayde suggested.

* * *

"Fullmetal, this report is one of your more particularly disappointing ones," A man dressed in a blue uniform folded his hands as he spoke to a red-jacketed youth. The young man who was being adressed seemed particularly agitated, as though he'd been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

"Well, I-" the youth scratched the back of his blonde haired head, a sweatdrop forming on his right brow. "I didn't know that the Philosopher's Stone's trail would lead directly into that vein of Ishbaelian mines..."

"So that's the excuse you use to explain the destruction of," the man started, then lifted up a sheet of paper from a report he held in his hand, "two military tanks, three shipments of medical supplies, and what appears to be the materials for drilling a well. Is that... correct?"

The young man seemed even more embarrassed. "Well, the people didn't have any water, so-"

"Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, you know as well as I do that the Ishbal people are NOT under our jurisdiction for aid! Just because you have a personal agenda against the military's actions does not mean that you-"

A knock interrupted the Flame Alchemist, Roy Mustang's tirade against Ed, and the black-haired man blinked before calling for the interruption to enter. "Come in."

A blonde-haired young woman, accompanied by what looked like a set of armor behind her, walked into the room. After a brief salute, she maintained her stance of being at ease, her face not betraying any hint of emotion.

"Colonel."

"Yes, Hawkeye?" The man asked, then motioned towards the suit of armor that appeared to be trying to hide behind her.

"Colonel Mustang. There is a disturbance directly outside of Central that needs to be taken care of immediately. We've already sent Major Armstrong in, but he's unfortunately been-" the woman paused, and she heard a small intake of breath from Mustang as she searched for the term, "-taken prisoner. Mustang released the air he'd been holding in. Hawkeye raised an eyebrow, then looked straight at her boss.

"Your orders?"

"We depart immediately. Fullmetal, Al-" the blonde youth and suit of armor turned to face the man. "I wish you to accompany me in this excursion. Hawkeye-"

"Sir?"

"I wish you to be my backup." Colonel Mustang rose from his seat and strode towards the front of his office. He pulled a set of gloves from his pocket and placed them gently on his hands. After a moment of adjusting the gloves. "Let's finish this. I still haven't finished chewing you out, Fullmetal. You had better not get yourself killed just so you can escape."

The blonde blinked, chagrin taking over his features. "Um... yes, sir."

* * *

"What a worthless universe," Janie snapped, her Gerados holding Major Armstrong prisoner. The red-headed pokemon otaku was clutching the re-captured Ash Ketchum, her eyes burning with a fierce anger. She couldn't believe that Yue-chan had betrayed her like she had. And after all Janie had done for the ignored twin. Snarling and grumbling, the crazed college girl was replicating Pokemon left and right, sending them out into the city.

"I'll destroy this city and all the bishounen in it!" Janie shouted. "And then soon I will rule the Earth!"

"Hey you!"

Janie stopped her maniac laughter, looking to see who it was that had called out to her. She saw a short young man with long blonde hair pulled back into a braid, a taller man with short black hair, and a tall suit of armor standing not too far away.

"Who are you?" Janie demanded, eyeing them all up and deeming Ed too young to worry about. She did, however, aim her anti-bishonen ray at Roy.

"I suggest that you release Major Armstrong, and quickly, if you don't want to find yourself on the wrong side of the military."

"Oh please," Janie sneered. "You don't frighten me. Flareon!" A small fox-like creature that looked like it was made out of fire appeared, snarling at the men. Roy smirked, snapping his finger, producing flame. Janie's smirk just widened. She fired her anti-bishonen ray, hitting Roy dead on.

"Co-Colonel?" Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye blinked in mixed horror at her newly feminine captain, the moment of distraction making her lose her grip on the gun she held. Alphonse ran up in front of the woman, protecting her from the fire that the Flareon had caused to fly out.

"Don't let her alchemy fool you, Hawkeye!" Roy- a very female Roy, for that matter, yelled with her newly high-pitched voice. Sneering at the redheaded girl, Roy snapped her fingers and caused another stream of flame to fly towards the Pokemon creature, which shirked at the amount of inferno heading towards it and ran away.

"Flareon, you coward- Get back here!" Janie yelled at the little creature, which was hiding behind the now entangled Major Armstrong. The Major's overly strong muscles were fighting against his restraints, and he looked at the little creature with pity.

"I understand your pain," he grimaced, the sun shining off like diamond reflections from his smooth muscular skin.

Edward had just started to turn around to look at what had happened to his senior officer Mustang, when a black hole opened up just above his head. However, he realized that there were bodies spilling out of the hole too late, as he was very quickly pinned under a mound of bodies, save for a blonde girl who was being held in the arms of a long-eared creature.

"Did we make it? Are we in the-" a train of coughing followed the beginning question, "-are we in the right universe?" A mound of what appeared to be handsome men pulled themselves off of a pile, the last being a man in a black jacket who lifted a silver-haired young woman from off of a now very squashed Edward Elric.

"Right universe? I'd say we are," the blonde girl answered, as she was let down gently onto the ground by the long-eared young man with black hair. She pointed torwards the girl that had fired the gun at Roy and turned back, only to notice the blonde mound laying behind her.

"Are- where are we?"

"I should be the one asking the questions!" a sharp female voice interrupted. The blonde girl turned torwards the sound, then blinked when she saw the short black haired woman standing behind her.

"Who are you?"

"The name's Colonel Roy Mustang-" the woman started, only to cough. "Well, I at least _WAS_ Roy Mustang in both name and gender," he started. It was then that the blonde mound on the dirt known as Edward Elric finally lifted his head and saw his commander.

And proceeded to squeal with laughter.

"You will be SILENT, FULLMETAL," Roy Mustang spat at her underling. She stared straight ahead at the two young girls and the group of men that surrounded them. She held out her gloved hand before them, her eyes full of distrust. "You. Visitors from... somewhere. Tell us who you are, and now. Else I will set you aflame."

"Set us aflame? With what?" the silver-haired girl snorted.

"My gloves. I want a name. Now."

"Shadow-chan. I want to have a word with you, Mr. I-can-set-fire-with-my-freaking-GLOVES!"

"This... might just be interesting to watch," Saber sad slowly, helping Ed to his feet.

"What do you mean?" Al asked the short blonde girl.

"Watch as your brother's commanding officer get ripped a new one," Saber answered, unable to help herself as she started to snicker.

"Nii-san...?"

"I don't know, Al," Ed replied, trying to regain full consciousness. "Too many strange people."

Shadow had cornered the now female Roy Mustang and was staring at her as if the alchemist was the oddest thing she'd ever seen. "Aside from that we're in the middle of battle and all, I demand to know... How the hell- what the hell are you?" she demanded of the flame alchemist.

Roy looked a bit stunned. "I beg your pardon?"

"You... you have got to be a freak of nature!" Shadow vented. "Fire needs three things in order to burn. Fuel, oxygen, and heat! That's the tripod!"

Roy's facial expression went from stunned to annoyed. "If this is all you've come to discuss then I'll ask you to step aside. I have more important matters to deal with."

"No, I want to know how you do it. Alchemy is based on nature and the manipulation thereof. You are disregarding that rule with your alchemy! I want to know how its done."

"You have no power to make such demands," Roy sneered.

"And you're trapped in a woman's body," Shadow countered with a cruel look. "With no way to change that effect. Your alchemy won't work. Such is the pity."

"D-did she just threaten the Colonel, Nii-san?" Al asked his brother.

Ed looked just as stunned and he couldn't imagine what Hawkeye was thinking. "She... what is-"

"She's a firefighter," Saber explained, almost apologetically. "When she...uh... heard about Colonel Mustang's alchemy ability and the way that he ...er... uses it she got kind of upset. She has a lot of training in fire science and she knows the way fire works in nature. So it irks her to no end to see someone use it in a way that isn't natural. I think its because she's afraid because if it isn't used naturally, the way nature intends it to be created, then she won't know how to fight it."

"Hello?" Janie shouted. "Remember me? I'm the one who's destroying your city, remember?"

"Saber!" Shadow called, removing a backpack from her shoulder and tossing it to the blonde girl. Saber's ears and tail appeared from the sudden burst of nerves at the prospect of going into battle as she caught the backpack. "Take care of the rodents, would ya? I don't look forward to getting any shocking surprises. Wouldn't want to destroy the city you know."

"C...chimera?" Ed stammered, looking at the girl's cat ears and tail.

"Got it," Saber said, catching the backpack and pulling out several different spheres, not hearing Ed's stammered question.

"What are those?" Ed asked curiously of the metalic spheres.

"Weapons to destroy those damned creatures," Saber explained.

"You think your worthless contraptions can stop me?" Janie sneered. "You're a pathetic, worthless, second rate inventor and a Freak to boot!"

"She's a freak?" Shadow choked, resisting the urge to draw the gun from its shoulder holster beneath her jacket.

"I'm through wasting time," Forka snapped. "Go, my Pokemon! Destroy them! Destroy them all!"

"Guys, I need you to give me some time," Saber said, one screwdriver clenched between her teeth, another in her hands working on one of the spheres. "No time to collect DNA, have to reconfigure them..."

Vash, Wolfwood, Alucard, and Gene all drew their guns, taking aim, while Xellos simply smirked. Kish drew his knives, also smirking. Ryou joined Saber, helping her reconfigure the DNA bombs. Ed joined the others in defending against the pokemon as well.

Roy had drawn a weapon as well, taking aim at Forka, but Shadow grabbed the newly-woman's wrist, shaking her head.

"Don't," Shadow ordered, a very serious look in her eyes. She showed Roy the hidden pistol and added, "If she doesn't stop after this, she's mine."

"But I-"

"Trust me," Shadow assured the Colonel. "If Saber can't take her down, _I WILL_."

Suddenly what felt like an earthquake pounded against the earth, and the bishounen stood ready, their weapons held out. Wolfwood turned to Vash as the swarms of Pokemon started to stagger against the planes.

"Just like old times, eh partner?"

Vash winked, then grinned. "Let's go!"

A stampede of a different sort rose on the horizon, made up of numerous types of creatures. Kish licked his lips, then flew into the foray, Alucard following with what looked like a hungry stare in his ruby eyes.

At first, the animals seemed intent on merely overrunning the bishounen, but that theory was quickly laid to waste as what looked like orange dragons with flame-spewing mouths tried to burn the defensively stanced men. With a war cry, Kish flew directly downward, spiralling his body so that his hand knives twisted around him in a circular motion. Several different Pokemon fell upon his hand. However, Forka's minions were terrible in their pursuit of the bishounen, and it was only a few moments' worth of time before the creatures started to overwhelm him and pull him into their momentum of movement.

"S-Saber-" he called out as his hand started to slip into the gathering of Pokemon.

"I gotcha!" Wolfwood called into the mass, lending his punisher into the foray to give Kish something to hold onto. The young man grabbed onto it as the preacher shot into the skirmish with his side guns that came from his punisher. Vash backed the man up, his fourty five calibur pistol firing into the giant mass of Pokemon as they continued to edge forward.

"Fourth level restriction, lifted," Alucard hissed against the oncoming hoardes. With a quick hand gesture to seal the restrictions, he darted forward and used his dark abilities to spike through the hearts of almost ten Pokemon. However, one of the Pokemon stopped him in his tracks, its head appearing to be made of silver. He hissed at the creature, slowly backing away as it advanced.

A quick reload of Castor shells had Gene Starwind ready to defend the vampire, firing a doublet set of the expensive weapons into the silver headed creatures' forebrow, causing it to fall back in pain. With a quick salute, the outlaw ran back into the foray.

Xellos seemed to be having an excruciatingly large amount of fun as he constantly used his dark abilties to destroy small groups of the smaller Pokemon with his magics.

Ryou watched the men as they constantly destroyed the swarms of minions that Forka sent into war in their name. Looking over at Saber, whose ears were twitching with annoyance, he raised an eyebrow. "You'll be able to join in soon."

"Not soon enough. They're not doing very well out there, and you know it. We have to get these things up and running soon."

"Well, I'm almost done with this adjustment here-" Ryou started, then wiped sweat off his brow as he handed Saber the genetic bomb he'd just finished re-adjusting. He handed Saber the bomb, turning towards her as she started to go. "Now don't get yourself hur-"

Saber didn't hear the end of Ryou's statement, as she was busy loping into the battle, bombs in hand. Both Vash and Kish saw the blonde's jump into the foray and rushed forward to protect her, but it soon became apparent that the inventor was in need of no help.

Edward watched the girl's back as she sped forward towards the redhaired fiend, quickly clapping his hands together so that the full circle of a modified array fell onto the ground as soon as he touched it. Spikes flew up from the ground, piercing Pokemon that advanced like the fervent demons Saber accused them of being.

Utilizing both her arms and her tail, the girl looked like a firing squad for the small genetic bombs that she threw about her in a haphazardly fashion. Pokemon fell about her, their bodies going limp as they fell against the grassy surroundings. Kish and Vash finally reached their destination, covering both her right and left flanks as she tossed the spherical weapons around them. Finally, the field seemed to be covered more with dead Pokemon bodies than living ones.

When the dust cleared, a slightly bloody catgirl known as Saberpilot stood before Janie Forka, her chest heaving from the amount of effort she'd put forth in destroying the Pokemon menace.

Janie's smile grew into a full grown smirk, her teeth glistening. She pulled a rope close to her, forcing Ash Ketchum to stand weakly next to her.

"So what? You've defeated a few of my minions. That's nothing. I've got the Pokemon Master." It was then that she pulled what looked like a badge from the young boy's jacket and pressed it against her dark DGT, smiling evilly as she did so.

"There's one thing you've forgotten," Saber hissed, her canines prominantly showing.

Shadow-chan looked concerned, her silver-blue eyes widening as she saw what looked like claws raising themselves from Saber's hands. She started to dart forward, when a familiar preacher's hand held her back.

"Don't worry. She won't."

"But-"

"Just watch."

Janie raised an eyebrow at Saber's claim that the girl had forgotten something.

"And just what, FREAK, would I have forgotten?"

"I'm still armed," Saber grinned through her lengthened canines, pulling a sphere away from her tail, which she'd been holding. "And you've still got one big weakness the size of a canyon."

"Huh?"

Saber's eyes turned to slits. She nodded at Ash, whose eyes grew wide with confusement, then acknowledgement as he figured out what the girl was thinking. A slight nod answered Saber's, and the girl grinned widely as Ash closed his eyes, ready.

"Your heart does not belong to you."

With that, the cat-girl threw the final electric bomb, but her target was not Forka. Seconds later, Ash Ketchum, Pokemon Master, fell to the ground, immobillized and unconcious for the time being. Janie Forka screamed as the boy fell to the ground, then turned to Saberpilot, her eyes ablaze with anger.

"You- you BITCH!"

Kish smiled as he wiped a trail of blood away from Saber's mouth, then turned to Janie. "She's not a bitch. She's outsmarted you yet again, Forka. She's a genius."

"You- YOU-" Janie started to run towards the blonde haired college student, who apparently was quickly running out of strength. It was only then that Vash noticed the bit of shrapnel sticking out from her side that was making her quickly fall to the ground from exhaustion. The Stampede quickly placed his gun back into its holster and scooped the girl out of harm's way.

With a quick turn, Vash picked up the girl and placed his back against the oncoming Forka. The Stampede then nodded to Kish, who teleported the duo away barely in time from the crazed Pokemon otaku. Kish reappeared with Vash and Saber almost a hundred yards away from the scene of battle, in which Xellos and Gene were cleaning up the remains of the still-existant Pokemon.

Even so, Janie didn't stop running. She was holding out her weapon, ready to fire at the first person who came in her way.

"Shadow!" Wolfwood called as Janie bowled through Ed, making his way toward the other allies. Shadow drew the antique pistol, trying to take aim at the running fanatic, but her hands were shaking too much for any good to come of it.

"Shadow, fire the damned gun!" Wolfwood shouted again, firing his own weapon at one of the few remaining pokemon.

"I- I can't do it." Her voice was barely a whisper as she hesitated squeezing the trigger. Janie was almost to the steps of the building, her weapon ready to fire.

"You're mine!" Janie growled.

Shadow aimed, closed her eyes, and pulled the trigger, just as Janie was about to fire. The gun shot with a very loud BANG and seconds later Janie fell to the ground, her body limp. "Oh God," Shadow uttered, her face white with shock. "I- I j-just killed her. Oh my god, I killed her!"

"Relax," Roy ordered stepping forward towards the fallen psycho and proceeding to pull something out of Janie's shoulder. The small object was a silver dart with red feathering. "It's just a tranquilizer dart."

"What?" Shadow asked in a breathy voice. She regained her composure almost instantly, her eyebrow twitching. "I'm going to KILL that scientist-"

"Major," Roy called to Riza, the blonde military woman walking quickly over to the black haired woman, "Tie this creature up and get a crew in here to clean up this mess."

"Yes S-sir," Riza replied curtly, not quite sure how to respond to Mustang's change.

Roy looked over at the silver haired Shadow, who was still trying to steady her racing heart, and smirked. "For a moment I thought I was going to have to finish your job for you."

"Oh please," Shadow snapped. "I made the shot."

"Barely."

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go and make sure my friends are okay," Shadow snapped. "Oh, and if I might add, you'd look marvelous in a lavender coloured dress, I think. If you go short enough it will show off those nice legs you have now."

Roy's eyebrow twitched. "If you know how to reverse this change I would highly recommend that you share that information."

"Or what, you'll turn me into a human smore?" Shadow taunted fearlessly.

"She's at it again?" Ed asked as the rest of the group approached the bickering pair.

"It would be very easy to do so," Roy threatened.

"Go for it," Shadow dared him. "Then you'll be stuck as a woman forever. Of course," she snickered, "you might get more dates that way."

"Heh, you think you're in control here," Roy sneered. "Soon more military personel will arrive and you and all of your cohorts will be placed under arrest. That- that cat-human chimera of yours will be sent to a military lab-"

"Blah, blah, blah," Shadow interrupted, much to the Elric brothers' shock. "I refuse to get into a battle of wits with you, Colonel. It's against my moral code to attack someone who's unarmed as it is." Ed snickered, earning him a very cold and daggerous look from the flame alchemist.

Shadow smirked and continued. "My friend and I know the secret to changing you back to normal. Take us away and you're stuck as a woman for the rest of your natural life. As much as you hate it, we are the ones in charge here."

Roy looked very irritated at being the one who had something held over him, and it was obvious that he was suffering a great humiliation because of it. "What do you want then?"

"Sir?" Ed asked, surprised that his commanding officer was going to give in to the demands of the very strange foreigners.

"Hmmm," Shadow said thoughtfully. "I don't know. I'll let you know what I've come up with when we come back. Kish, Vash, bring Saber down here and let's go. If we get her to Washu's she'll be fixed up in no time." Shadow grabbed ahold of the now-tied up and unconscious Forka and passed her off to Xellos, then pulled the DGT out of her backpack.

"What's that thing?!" Ed demanded, thinking that it was one of the spheres that had been used to kill the rampaging pokemon.

"We'll see you later!" Shadow chirped, activating the DGT. The group disappeared with a flash of light, leaving behind some very dumbfounded alchemists.

"Nii-san," Al began in an amazed tone. "That thing she had..."

"Could it be?" Ed wondered aloud. "Was that the- the Philosopher's Stone?"

* * *

"Ryoko, what on earth are you doing?" Tenchi asked as he watched the blue-haired space pirate as she looked around the house frantically.

"It's been too quiet lately," the space pirate muttered. "Too quiet for my liking. It means that any moment those brats will be back here and if they fall on me one more time-" She never got to finish her sentence, as a black hole opened up in the ceiling, depositing its occupants right on top of Ryoko.

"I swear that thing is set to target me!" Ryoko screamed from under the pile of bodies.

"Gee, it took you this long to figure that out?" Shadow asked sarcastically. The silver-haired girl turned about to survey her surroundings. Seeing the youngest male of the Misaki clan, she nodded towards him. "Tenchi, where's Washu?"

"Right here," the pink haired woman called, appearing out of thin air. "You look worse for wear; I take it you won the battle?"

Shadow nodded towards a bag from which muffled and angry curses seemed to be coming. Xellos kicked his baggage. "Saber needs a bit of help, though and I need to speak with Kiyone about this thing." She pointed to Forka, then gave the scientist a slightly evil glare, which Washu seemed oblivious to.

"I'll get Kiyone," Tenchi offered, jogging out of the room. Washu led the others into the lab so she could patch them up, Xellos leaving the unconscious pokemon fanatic lying on the floor at Shadow's feet.

"So," Ryoko began, eyeing Shadow over, "you were able to do it. I personally didn't think you had it in you. You don't seem to be the shooting type."

"I still have a shot left in this gun, Ryoko," Shadow warned with a grin. Just then, footsteps alerted Shadow to another presence.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Kiyone asked, entering the kitchen.

"Yes," Shadow replied in a very business-like manner. "I brought the person responsible for all of those intergalactic disturbances back with me. I'm turning her over to you to take back to the Galactic Police. Do with her what you will."

"... my superiors will want a report on what happened," Kiyone said slowly, her eyes turning to slits.

Shadow shrugged. "I don't give interviews. Sorry." The silver haired woman grinned. "I especially don't give police interviews. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make certain that Xellos isn't trying to tear down Washu's lab."

With that, the young woman stepped out of the kitchen, her silver hair leaving invisible trails behind her as she stepped. Whenever Shadow-chan was out of earshot, Kiyone raised an eyebrow and glanced at Ryoko.

"I believe you owe me twenty credits, Miss Ryoko. She did fire the weapon, after all."

Grudgingly, the blue-haired woman pulled out a pile of chips from a side pocket and handed them to the police officer. Ryoko raised an eyebrow.

"How'd you know she'd do it, anyways?"

Kiyone grinned and winked. "Because she's got a blonde partner, same as me. And we people with blonde partners in crime ALWAYS have to save them." With that, Kiyone pocketed the chips and headed out of the kitchen and torwards the outside lake, in which her and Mihoshi's spaceship had been hidden.

FINALLY, some good news to report to HQ. Maybe now she'd be taken off of the probation list.

* * *

"I need you to grit your teeth and not scream- there's a good girl," Washu comforted Saberpilot as she pulled what looked like shards of metal from the young college student's side. Vash and Kish both held a hand of the girl's each in their hands, respectively.

"Why- Don't- You- USE- ANESTHETIC?!?" Saber hissed between bits being pulled out of her side. Washu grimaced as she took out another piece.

"If I did, it wouldn't heal up without a scar," the scientist said. "Or... well, you're going to have a scar, but you won't have one that would be as big as one Mr. Vash here might have," she smiled and laughed.

Present company did not seem to get the joke. Washu coughed and returned to her bloody work.

"Hold on, Saber," Kish comforted the blonde girl as the pink-haired scientist pulled out the last pieces of shrapnel. "Almost done."

"That's righ-" Vash started to agree, only to feel a tug on his red jacket. Looking down, he raised an eyebrow and gave a dry laugh. "Knives. What a pleasant surprise."

"Pleasant, my ass. Where have you been, you human loving spider?"

"Ouch. Remind me to tell Washu to make sure your food's correctly adjusted to your attitude," Vash commented, looking up quickly to make sure that Saberpilot was okay. Washu had already started sewing up the girl's wound with her laser skin grafter, so Vash let go of the girl's hand for a second to deal with his current 'menace'.

"My ATTITUDE? Vash, do you realize that you've left me HERE, in this HELLHOLE, for nearly three months now? My Gung-Ho guns and personal servant Legato are probably going insane without me- and if I've been here, you've certainly not been there to stop them-"

"Oh, you mean your little minions? Saber and Shadow took care of them right after we dropped you off," Vash commented off-handedly. He then laughed at the last image he'd seen of them before DGT jumping- a group of super-deformed gung-ho guns... with water pistols for guns. 'Trust me," he laughed aloud, "they won't be harming a soul."

"But- my plans- our Eden-"

"Your Eden is here, for now," Vash answered sternly, shaking his finger at his chibified twin. "Until you learn to deal with humans in a kind manner, I am NOT letting you out of this laboratory, or this dimension, for that matter."

Knives' eyes nearly popped out of his head. "But-"

"No buts," Wolfwood winked and joined his partner in crime, stepping forward to face the chibified Knives. "You could live with a few centuries of penace for what you've already incurred against the population of Gunsmoke- not just them, but your brother as well."

"You- YOU-" Knives started, jumping forward to attack, only to find himself held aloft by the end of a magical staff. Xellos grinned.

"You're not going anywhere."

A few moments later, the chibi Plant was found hanging from a beam in Washu's endless ceiling.

"GET ME DOWN! NOW!"

"...how long before we should take him down?" Vash asked, slightly worried for his brother, although more out of concern for Washu's hearing.

"Eh... don't worry. She'll bring him down for supper," Wolfwood grinned. "Now as for your girlfriend there-"

"She's... she's not my girlfriend," Vash blushed, but turned back to find Saber unconcious and sleeping peacefully on the medical table where she'd been laid. A few keystrokes later from Washu, and the girl had switched her sleeping arrangements, now laying on a simple bed and pillow. The pink-haired genius grinned.

"She'll be fit as a fiddle and starving like a hyena whenever she wakes up," Washu told the Stampede, patting him on the arm, as his shoulder was completely out of question for reachability. "Don't worry. Kish said that he'd take the first watch for making she's okay until she wakes up- he'll get you in a few hours." The small woman grinned.

"In the meantime, I suggest you little punks get some rest! You've worn yourselves all out to almost the point of exhaustion! And that includes you-" Washu pointed to Shadow-chan, who had just opened the door and entered. "You need the rest, too."

"Right now I'm more concerned with the fact that you put tranquilizer darts rather than bullets in my gun," Shadow coughed. Alucard said nothing, merely staring at the girl as she pressed forth her accusation to Washu.

"Well..." Washu started in a serious tone, then giggled. "It wasn't as if I was lying to you outright... I just- I couldn't stand the thought of you having to stain your pretty little hands with blood," the scientist smiled. "So, I figured that putting tranquilizer darts would both do the job, AND keep your innocence intact."

"...I still don't like the fact that you did it."

"Nothing you can do now, right?" The young woman laughed, while rubbing her nose with amusement. "But in the meantime-" A few keystrokes later, a set of beds appeared, as well as a familiar coffin. "You all need some rest. Alucard, you'll find some packets inside-" she told the vampire, as she directed the rest of the company present to their beds. Shadow-chan made a move as to resist, but Washu shook her head.

"No 'buts'. You need the rest. Go lie down, and now."

It was then that Shadow-chan started to yawn, and passed out. A few seconds later, Alucard appeared before she dropped to the floor and laid her on her bed. The rest of the bishounen, as well as Kish, were all sleeping on nearby beds. Alucard raised an eyebrow to the scientist.

"You didn't need to set the sleeping gas so high."

"...she's stubborn as hell and wouldn't have resisted otherwise." The woman grinned, then winked. "Now go get in your coffin. I'll transport you to directly beside her bedside."

With a slight toothy grin, Alucard shook his head, then went and laid in his coffin, shutting the lid as he lay down. Washu smirked, typed a few commands, then wiped her hands free of the invisible dust particles on her hands as the beds transported their different people back to the apartment where the anti-Forka force lived.

It was then that Kiyone walked into the laboratory, smiling as she saw the last traces of the beds vanish. Sipping a cup of coffee, she gave a slight grin.

"Back home for them?"

Washu nodded. "Correct. They're going to need a few days' rest, so I already prepared food and everything for the kids. They're so brave... they don't even know that Forka was actually packing a real forty five that she hid in her left pocket." Washu sighed, picking up a gun she'd laid on a nearby table. "I doubt that they'd have been as brave if they'd known."

A burlap sack nearby made more muffled noises, and Washu raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of the little bitch, what do you plan on doing to her?"

"Well, first," Kiyone said through a sip of coffee, "we're going to wipe Ketchum's memory of this event. Otherwise the lad's going to go through life tramautized. Then, we'll return him to his dimension. After that, we'll probably end up putting Janie into a medical psych faciluty until..."

"Until...?"

"Until she's cured, or until she dies," Kiyone shrugged. "I can't imagine what would happen if we let this kind of menace loose on the world again." The police officer then grinned. "However... I think I'm going to let the manner in which she was captured remain confidential. Those kids don't need that kind of attention, and... well, let's just say that if I reported them, I'd have to report the miscellaneous travel between dimensions that they'll do after this."

"So you have no doubts that-"

Kiyone laughed. "Of course not. But kids always rebel against adults, so I just had to say that it was illegal," she smiled. "Otherwise... well, it would have been a hell of a lot harder to capture her. And this time, I didn't have to save Mihoshi from anything."

Just then a loud alarm went off in the kitchen, and Kiyone moaned as she heard a familiar female voice crying out from behind the main noice. Giving both a groan and wave to Washu as she left, she ran in the direction of the stove, certain that Mihoshi was behind whatever the mess was.

Washu smiled as she looked at her laboratory, and the remains that the kids had left. Sure, Knives was on the ceiling, and Forka was in a bag... but there was still the young Ash Ketchum that remained.

"You poor kid," the scientist smiled as she looked at his laid out form. With a quick wink to herself, the woman pressed a key as suddenly a small yellow creature appeared at his side. Washu waved at the little creature and smiled, all the while typing strengthening techniques into his genetics.

Washu grinned. "Now listen to me, little Pikachu..."

* * *

"Mom. Mom. Mom!" a voice called into Saberpilot's conciousness. The girl blinked her blue cat-eyes, unsure of where the yelling waas coming from- her dreams, or reality. She'd been kind of out of it for the past few moments since she'd been at Washu's... at least, she thought it was moments. When one was sleeping, it was hard to tell what the passage of time was. Saber turned her head and opened her eyes fully, only to see four sets of eyes all watching her.

She cleared her throat to speak, but found it difficult. After a whoop of joy for Saber waking up, little Brannet ran off for a moment, returning with a glass of water in hand. He handed it to his future mother, who drank it quickly and cleared her throat once more.

"You- you guys..." She smiled, and it was then that all four of her future children practically swarmed the bed and pulled her into a large group hug. The college student laughed, then grew serious.

"How- how long have I been out? What day is it?"

"Four days," Rem answered. Right after her, Nicholas finished with "Tuesday."

"Crap!" the blonde girl stated, starting to get up, her eyes clearly worried. "I've missed so much schoolwork and everythin-"

"Don't worry," Jayde calmed the girl down. "Washu took care of everything. A body double has been attending your classes, and Vash and the others have been doing your homework as best as they can," she winked, then laughed. "Dad's so horrible with math... it's kind of funny, when you think about it- I mean, he's great with it in the futur-" she stopped, realizing she was getting off the subject.

"In any case, everything's fine. Shadow woke up earlier today- you should have SEEN Genesis- I swear, that girl is such a Momma's girl if I ever saw one- and well, she's all healthy and taken care of. Dad and the other guys woke up about three days ago, and Spike-" she paused, unsure of how to answer. "Well, Spike..."

"I am NEVER babysitting again!" came a voice from the doorway. He smiled at the blonde girl, then grew serious. "Glad to see you're feeling better. But trust me- before you decide to go off like that again, you are getting someone else to take care of these rugrats- your kids were fine, but when I think about Shadow's-"

"What did you say about my children?" Shadow-chan asked the bounty hunter sweetly from behind him. Spike merely raised an eyebrow.

"You heard me. I just-"

"Saber, you're awake!" Shadow grinned, ignoring Spike's answer, much to his agitation. The other college student entered the room and joined the kids on the bed. Her eyes were searching. "How do you feel?"

"Fine... except, I'm very hungry," Saber mentioned, the second bit coming as an afterthought. "In fact... I feel almost ravenous."

"Would donuts make you feel better?" the college student asked mischieviously, her eyes dancing. "I know Kish and Vash brought some in earlie-"

She didn't get to finish her sentence, Saber having already rushed out the room towards the confectionary sweets, her future children at her feet. Shadow-chan laughed, watching as poor little Brannet tripped for a moment, then ran as fast as he could to catch up to his mom and the others.

A dark presence appeared next to Shadow, who grinned.

"She is better?" Alucard queried.

"Quite," the silver-haired girl answered. "All I had to say was 'donuts', and she was on her feet. Typical." She sat back on the other girl's bed, playing the events of a few days ago over in her mind. She smiled at the vampire. "We did it, didn't we?"

"If you mean that you defeated that little bitch Forka, then yes," Wolfwood answered from the doorway, Ryou behind him. Spike had vanished, apparently having been dragged off by the rugrats for something.

"I still can't believe it," Shadow smiled. She looked at the men, and shook her head. "Now that she's gone, it's almost like there's nothing to do."

"Oh, not quite," another masculine voice added. Gene Starwind grinned from the doorway. He held a packet of paper that he threw towards Shadow. "That's the list of clean-up that Kiyone told me to give to you when she visited a day ago. Told me that since you lot had to go and mess everything up, that you should be the ones to do the clean up."

"Why that- I can't believe that-" Shadow-chan swore under her breath, then smiled. "Well, I guess there's no helping it. We did mess things up a bit." She laughed.

"Well..." Gene grinned widely, "I'm sure I could arrange for you to get off scot free if you were to say, perhaps, go out on a date with-"

A bruised ego was the worst of the redhead's worries as he fell against the wall, Shadow having punched him very unceremoniously in the gut. She and the other men laughed as he got up, shaking his head. "I'm not going to give up," he winked before he left.

"Well, it's good to see some things haven't changed," Shadow grinned, her thoughts on the days of clean-up fun to come.

"It sure is," Ryou agreed.

* * *

Saber: Well, that's the end of the evil Forka! YAY!

Shadow: But that's not all- apparently we have to clean everything up, too.  
Saber: WHA?!? We just saved the universe and we still have to-  
Shadow: grin Don't sweat it. It just means that we'll have more chibis.  
Saber: ...chibis...

In any case, we'll be back- the fun's not quite over yet, and there's still some goodness to come! Stay tuned!


	17. Alchemist Issues

Disclaimer: We own nothing, except for ourselves and our souls... and Jeopardy is questioning that very fact now... Oh, and the kids. And Janie Forka. (although we don't try and admit that most of the time... ;)

* * *

"Mom! Mo-om!" the call echoed through the hallways of the college students' Saberpilot and Shadow's home.

Which is not what Shadow-chan wanted to hear at the moment.

The girl's headache was getting worse by the second as she attempted to perform the equations that the professor had set forth for her to solve, and the kids calling her name was not helping her aching forehead any.

"Not RIGHT NOW," Shadow-chan complained as she heard the voices coming closer... and thankfully run right by her room. The silver-haired girl blinked. "Huh. Saber's kids, I guess. Oh well... Keep it down, kids!" she yelled, then went back to her work.

However, other people had different arrangements in mind for how Shadow's time should be spent. A few seconds later, a dual set of black-haired heads popped in the doorway.

"Um... Mom?"

"I'm working on this stupid math homework- what do you want?" Shadow-chan cried. "If I don't finish this soon, I won't get it done. If I don't get it done, I'll get a zero. And if I get a zero, my headache will be EVEN WORSE!"

Locke and Liam exited the scene quite quickly, so fearful were they of their future mother's wrath.

A few seconds later, a blonde head popped in.

"I told you, I'm BUSY," Shadow-chan snapped without turning around. At the noticeable silence, Shadow finally turned to see Saberpilot standing in the doorway. Shadow blinked.

"Um..."

"Yeah, that's about what I thought. Math homework again?"

Shadow's shoulders slumped. "Yeah... but if I don't get it done, there'll be no other way for me to understand it- and then my headaches will be worse, because I'll have to study EXTRA HARD for the exams. And those kids are NOT helping." She pressed her forefingers and thumbs against her temples, rubbing them. "I do not want to know what it's going to be like when I have to study for my PRAXIS...."

Saberpilot jumped on the girl's bed. "Maybe you just need a break for now; ever think of that? Vash and the guys are getting ancy, being stuck in here. It's too cold to go outside right now, with the fall chill coming in, and they're going nuts. Maybe just... I don't know, getting out of here would do you some good."

"But where to?" Shadow asked. "You said it yourself, it's too cold right now. And I am NOT driving anywhere... I certainly will not be a good driver with the pounding headache I have right now."

"Oh, I wasn't thinking of going outside... directly. I was thinking more along the lines of a field trip to another dimension," Saber suggested, picking up the DGT that sat on the mantle near Shadow's bed. She smiled and pointed out the pros by counting them on her fingers.

"I mean, think about it. You COULD use a break from this math work, the men are getting spring fever and it's only FALL... Plus, we do still have a few things to clean up, according to that list that Kiyone left behind-"

Shadow stretched her arms over her head. "Well... I suppose a break wouldn't hurt. But we are NOT taking Gene along this time."

"Tried to get into your bed again last night?"

"Shut up and let's go."

* * *

"So, Colonel Mustang. Please explain to me again why, exactly, you are now a woman," Hughes snickered towards his commanding officer. Mustang looked as though he'd rather swallow a lemon than have this conversation with his underling.

"I TOLD you-" Roy forced out from her newly-feminine lips, "Two girls and some men showed up, and had a fight with this red-haired," she spat, "harlet, who fired some- some sort of gun at me. Once she fired, I was like- this," she gestured towards her new curves.

"And you expect me to believe this?" Hughes chuckled. "For one thing, you don't look ANYTHING like Roy Mustang-"

"Trust me, it's him," Edward Elric assured the army man as he and his younger brother Al walked into the room. "You can ask us, Captain Hawkeye, or Major Armstrong- all four of us were there to see it happen." The blonde young man sat down at the table next to Hughes and Mustang, his brother preferring to stand directly behind him.

"But it's- it's almost unbelievable!" scoffed Hughes. "If it weren't for the fact that she-" he attested, pointing to Mustang, "acted, spoke, and knew things that only Colonel Roy Mustang did, I'd have to say that this was one of the best practical jokes ever!" He then grew serious, raising an eyebrow towards the Elric brothers. "Does anyone else know about this?"

"Not a soul besides Major Armstrong and... Riza," Roy answered, her lips pursed. "And there's been no sign of the girl that did this, or the ones that were also there during the combat."

"So there's no way of knowing if this can be reversed?" Hughes queried.

"Not within the perimeters of alchemy, at least," Roy sighed. "I've been busy looking in the library all day- and avoiding the other women like the plague. If any of them found out about this-"

"Good thing for you Riza's got a tight lip when it comes to government secrets," Edward snickered. Alphonse, if he could have blinked in confusion, would have, as his body language was clearly confused.

"Nii-san?"

"Nevermind," Ed answered, a sweatdrop forming on his upper left brow. He then glanced at Roy and couldn't help but snicker some. His superior officer gave him a look that suggested that he'd better watch out for fiery beds at night.

"So for right now, what are you going to do?" Hughes questioned. "Besides not picking up any prospective dates?" he added with a snicker.

"Well, I-"

It was just then that all their heads turned, noticing a bright light outside the governmental office window. Edward ran from his seat to the window, noticing the same group from the other day was being deposited on the ground in a lovely clump.

"It's them!" He yelled, causing both Al and Roy to jump up and join the blonde at the window. Roy pressed his left hand against the glass, then turned tail and ran towards the door.

"Onii-san!" Al cried, happy. "The people with the Philosopher's-" he started, only to find Ed staring up at him with a look that clearly stated he should stop talking. "I mean," Al waved his hands, "it's those people! We should go help Colonel Mustang!"

With that, the two Elrics ran out of the building, leaving Hughes behind, still sitting in his chair. He smiled and shook his head before heading out the same way the three had previously left.

"Guess it's just me that doesn't drop hints about what I really want," he laughed, then pulled out a picture of his wife and daughter. "Not that I'm complaining, because it's all for my little girl and my beautiful wife-" he mused as he exited.

* * *

"Shadow-chan, next time we go out, make sure to look up the words 'gentle' and 'landing' and the way they should interact," Wolfwood groaned from his location on the bottom of the pile that had landed within the Fullmetal Alchemist universe.

"Hey, I can't help that you were on the bottom!" Shadow snorted. "I only programmed the thing for transport, not for safety!"

"I pray she never works for the travel commission," Ryou blinked.

"Oh, shut up, all of you!" The irritated college student muttered, standing up with the aid of Alucard. After a moment, she blinked when she noticed her surroundings, then swore. Saberpilot raised an eyebrow.

"I'm glad we left the kids at home, otherwise I think Genesis would've learned another bad habit," she mentioned to her roommate. Shadow-chan just threw the blonde a scathing glance. Saber grinned. "At least we know what the source of her problem is... maybe I should be in charge of fixing her bad habits."

"Oh ha ha," Shadow said rolling her eyes.

"We have company," Vash whispered, gesturing to a group of four exiting a large building and heading in their direction.

"Don't look now Saber, but it's Ed," Shadow whispered into Saber's ear, grinning as her friend blushed bright scarlet. Both Kish and Vash noticed, and both took on agitated looks, sizing Ed up.

"What's that pipsqueak have that's worth anything?" Kish muttered.

"He's her exact height, for one thing," Shadow grinned.

"What was that?!" Saber demanded, giving her friend an agitated glare.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Shadow said quickly with a nervous laugh, as the other group approached.

Roy Mustang had slowed down to a dignified walk, running a gloved hand through her short black hair. Hughes caught up with him, eyeing the girls and the men with them with a slightly amused look. Ed and Al caught up with the two men, Ed panting as their small group stopped, leaving a space of about five feet between both groups.

Shadow was the first to speak, calling out to Roy, "Blue really isn't your colour, Sir." She covered her mouth to hide a snicker. "It kind of washes you out. Maybe you should try something in, I don't know, pink?"

Roy's eyebrow began to twitch and her hands clenched into a fist.

"Calm down, Sir," Hughes advised. "If you do something rash then you'll have to deal with a few more problems than trying to avoid the rest of the female officers."

Ed couldn't help it, and let out a low laugh, which earned him a cold glare from the Colonel.

"Shadow, maybe you shouldn't provoke him," Saber warned.

"Why did you come back?" Roy cut to the chase. "If it's to do anything else besides changing me back, then we have no reason to talk to you harlets and your... entourage."

"HEY YOU LITTLE-" Kish started forward, knives in hand. Wolfwood held the alien by the leg so that he couldn't go after the female Mustang, although it looked like the peace-loving Stampede also wanted to run after the Colonel, as his forebrow was quite pinched with anger.

Alucard suddenly appeared next to the female Colonel, his gun at his neck. It was only a few seconds after this that a familiar blonde military agent showed up, her gun pointed at Alucard's back.

"Step. Away. From. HIM."

"NO FIGHTING!" Saber cried, falling to the ground. All parties concerned stared at the girl as her cat-ears and tail emerged from her body, making her appearance all the more cherubic and saddened. Vash, Kish, and oddly enough, Ed, seemed to rush towards the blonde girl protectively. Shadow-chan, however, sweatdropped heavily.

Mustang raised an eyebrow. "You're late, Riza."

The woman sweated heavily. "Sorry- sir. Was- busy- with paperwork-" Riza panted as she continued to hold the gun on Alucard's back. She narrowed her eyes and steadied her handgun. "Now you. Get away from the colonel."

Saber continued to cry, much to Vash and Kish's dismay.

"Alucard," Shadow called. "She isn't worth the effort."

Alucard smirked, disappearing away from the Colonel. "This is true," he agreed.

"If all you have come here to do is make fun of the state, which, I remind you, YOU placed me in," Roy hissed, "then I suggest you go back to the shadows where you belong!" The alchemist snapped her fingers, and appeared to be ready to strike with her fire-control skills at any moment. Shadow's eyes grew.

"Oh shi-"

Suddenly a beam of light came from behind the silver-haired girl. Once the smoke cleared, a very small, but very male version of Roy Mustang sat on the ground. Shadow-chan looked back to see Saberpilot holding a still-smoking chibi ray.

"Saber?"

"No. Fighting." The girl repeated.

Edward looked like he'd just found himself the greatest hero alive, so full of wonder and joy was his facial expression. Vash just smiled and cautiously rubbed the girl's cat ears, and Kish winked at the blonde.

"...what the hell did you just do to me?" the colonel complained.

"Turned you into a chibi," Shadow answered matter-of-factly. "And I must say, you are very adorable! Isn't he, Riza?"

The underling's eyes were very wide as she stared at her chibified commanding officer. "Um... well, Colonel..." she started, then just stayed silent, her stunned expression giving the Flame alchemist her answer well enough. Her cheeks started to turn pink.

"I do have to agree that you are quite the adorable... chibi or whatever it was," Hughes smirked, then grinned. "But my daughter still has you beat." Mustang promptly turned and gave his subordinate a very flame-encircled finger. Hughes chuckled.

"Guess your size hasn't changed your sense of humor."

"Nii-san! THAT must be the Philosopher's stone!" Al proudly pointed at the chibi ray that Saber held The suited boy ran over and stared at the cat-girl, and poked her on the shoulder. "It is, isn't it?" He asked Saberpilot, who nervously backed away from the suit of armor. Al, if he could have, would have blinked at her response to him.

"I do have to ask... IS that the Philosopher's stone?" Fullmetal pressed, leaning closely towards the girl, whose cheeks were becoming red hot. She backed up into Vash while trying to 'escape', and shook her head, pointing towards Shadow.

"She has the DGT! I just have the Chibi Ray!"

"What is that thing?" Hawkeye asked Shadow, a blonde eyebrow raised. She then leveled her gun towards the silver haired girl. "And why shouldn't I shoot you for what you've done to Colonel Mustang?"

"Because you think he's adorable too?" Shadow-chan shrugged. Wolfwood, Spike, and Ryou snorted with laughter, and Xellos just smirked. Riza didn't seem to know how to respond to this, and instead pulled her gun back towards her chest, dropping her guard.

"Well, I-"

"Just admit it!" Shadow-chan cooed, running over and scooping up the Flame Alchemist into a big hug. "He's adorable."

"Well, he is, but I-"

"Hawkeye!" Mustang complained, trying to get out of Shadow-chan's clutches. "I need your backup!"

"But-"

"...something tells me that in this battle, he's not going to win," Ed snickered. "Especially when it comes to the extreme factor of his just... well... being CUTE," he started to laugh. Al also started to chuckle behind him, and Hughes... was being Hughes, and laughing it up.

It then occurred to the blonde to ask Saber a question. "By the way- you didn't answer me earlier. Which one- this, or the one she has-" he said, pointing towards Shadow, "is the Philosopher's stone?"

"Philosopher's stone?" Vash asked, his curiousity finally getting the best of him. "What's that?"

"Is it like a Mew Aqua?" Kish asked. "...like... something able to heal the planet?"

"Not... quite," Edward stumbled, trying to come up with an explanation. "It's like a huge energy source that an alchemist could use for... well, for things that might cost a lot."

"So it's like a big wad of money?" Vash asked, confused.

"No, not like that..." Edward scratched his head. This was more confusing than how Winry acted. "It's... well, the cost might be something like... what you have to use to make something into something else." He blinked, then snapped his fingers, going over to pick up a twig. Clapping his hands together and touching it, the twig was transformed into a wooden horse. He held it out to Saber, Vash, and Kish. "See?"

"I think," Vash said. "It sort of makes sense." He glanced down at Saber. "Do you think Washu knows-"

"Probably. We're not telling your brother, though. And as for your question, Edward," Saber sighed, "Well... neither of them are, really."

"What? Is she telling the truth, Nii-san?" Al asked from his location near the overly-hugged Roy Mustang, who was now not only being hugged by Shadow, but being admired by a slightly cooing Riza as well.

"I'm afraid so," Saber winced. "I'd help you if I could, trust me. But I'm afraid that my skill only lies in making machines... and for taking them apart," she admitted. Ed blinked. She sounded so much like Winry... and yet... completely different. Upon second glance, he realized that her cat ears and tail had disappeared.

"Wait- you're not a chimera?"

Saberpilot stared a moment, then burst out laughing, to Ed's amazement. She wiped away tears, then smiled at the young man. "No, I'm afraid not. Why? Is that a problem?"

"N-no," Ed answered, his cheeks growing warm.

"So... you don't have the Philosopher's stone then," Al sighed. "And I was so hoping I could help fix Nii-san..."

Shadow heard the younger brother's lament and smiled up at him from her lowered position on the ground. "Sorry, kid. But if there's anything we could do, we'd help. In fact... Oi! Saber!"

"Yeah?"

"...do you think Washu could...?"

"Maybe," the girl answered. "She's smart enough."

"Then that's it! We'll have to take you two to see Washu!"

Ed and Al looked at each other, their expressions confused. "...Washu?"

"Washu is a supergenius," Saberpilot stated, standing up and brushing the dirt off of her pants. "A supergenius, who, of anyone I can think of, would probably know more about making the key to the Philosopher's stone than anyone else. Well... besides Dante."

"Dante?" Roy's eyes turned to slits amid his hugging torture. "How do you know-"

"Nothing!" Shadow quickly quipped, placing her mouth over the chibi colonel's mouth. Roy tried to snap his chibi fingers together to create a spark, but to no avail. The only thing that came from his fingers was a giant puff of smoke. Swearing underneath his breath, he snapped his fingers again, although this time the thing that was produced was a colorful, sparkling light. He grit his teeth and yelled at Saberpilot.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!"

"She turned you into a chibi. We already answered that," Shadow told him matter-of-factly.

"I CAN'T USE MY FIRE!" He spat back. "I'd say that requires more than a change in stature!"

"Well, duh," Shadow clicked her tongue. "You're a CHIBI, not a CHILD."

"...Riza, get your gun."

"If I shoot them, how do we turn you back?" Riza inquired cautiously, not quite wanting to harm either girl. Truth be told, she kind of liked Roy as a chibi. Seeing him that way just made her want to smile.

"I. Want. To. Be. Returned. To. Normal!" Roy snarled.

"Maybe he is a child, the way he fusses all the time," Shadow said, dropping Roy to the ground to talk to Hughes, momentarily forgetting about Roy all together.

"And the goldfish strikes again," Wolfwood sighed.

"Goldfish?" Edward repeated, confused.

"... is she always like that?" Al asked Saber as thesilver haired girl talked to the officer, him showing her pictures of his wife and baby.

"... yes."

Riza had knelt down in front of Roy, who was glaring at the girls as if he was trying to decide which would be the best way to kill them. The blonde woman couldn't resist and patted him on the head. "Pouting like that isn't going to get you anywhere." Roy turned on her and she covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes widening a bit. "Sorry, Sir," she said with a smile.

"Shadow, we should probably get going," Saber called. "The kids are going to destroy the house if we leave them alone for too long!"

Shadow looked back at Saber, then back at Hughes, who was still showing off his daughter's photos... which Shadow was comparing with pictures of her niece. "But... but..."

"Oh man, they're in a 'look who's kid is cuter' contest," Spike muttered. "Annoying."

"Shadow!" Saber shouted, tapping her foot impatiently. "If we want to ask Washu about these two then you need to get your ass over here!"

"I'm coming!" Shadow replied, pocketing her photos. She looked at Hughes and grinned. "Next time I'll bring the rest of my photos and I'll show you my nephew!"

"I'll be sure to take some new photos of Alicia so you can see how she's grown," Hughes promised.

"HUGHES!" Roy snapped irritably.

Shadow grabbed Roy by the collar of his jacket as she ran over to the others, not waiting to hear if Riza protested or not. She pulled the DGT out of her pocket as she joined the group, dialing for home. "Ladies and gentleman, keep all appendages inside the black hole at all times. Thank you."

And with that the group disappeared into the black hole, leaving Hawkeye and Hughes behind.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Riza asked, a bit stunned.

"Sure, he'll be fine," Hughes answered in an easy going manner. "I'm more worried about those girls."

* * *

"Fullmetal, I demand that you get off of me this instant!" Roy snarled from the bottom of the dogpile in the middle of Saber and Shadow's apartment livingroom.

"As soon as everyone gets off of me," Ed replied with a smirk, making sure to squash the chibi alchemist into the floor a little bit more.

"Okay, are we all here in one piece?" Shadow joked.

"Al?" Edward asked, looking around for the familiar site of his brother. But Edward didn't see the tall suit of armor anywhere. "AL?!"

"Nii-san, I'm right here," Al stated, sitting up. "Nii-san? Why are you looking at me like that? Is something wrong? Nii-san?"

Ed was staring at his brother, eyes wide as saucers, his jaw dropped. "Al... you're..."

"Woah," Saber gasped.

"Al," Edward began, tears brimming in his eyes. "AL!" He lunged forward, giving his brother a big hug. "You're back! You're back to normal!"

Al looked down at his hands, then down at the rest of his body. He clammered to his feet, finding the first mirror he could, staring at his face. "Nii-san! I'm back to normal!"

"But how?" Ed inquired of Saber and Shadow. "You said that neither of those devices with you was the Philosopher's stone."

"Neither device was," Saber replied, just as confused as the boys. "I don't know how..."

"I do," Shadow replied. "Or I have a theory at least."

"This should be good," Roy sneered from his position near the floor. "Let's hear it then."

"Oh shut it, you," Shadow ordered the Flame alchemist.

"How do you explain it?" Spike inquired.

"Theory of concievability," Shadow stated. "In their world its not inconcievable to have someone like Al walking around. In our world it is, so when he came into our world he had to take on a form that our minds... well, this world anyways, could convieve. Kind of like when God uses Her angels to speak to us since Her power is so inconcievable that if we were to hear Her true voice our heads would explode."

"You were watching Dogma last night, weren't you?" Saber asked with a raised eyebrow.

Shadow shrugged. "It works."

"Don't you mean He?" Wolfwood countered.

Shadow blinked. "No. She. God is a woman."

"... can I interest you guys in some food?" Saber offered to the two brothers and chibi Roy. "They could be at this for a while."

"The only thing I'm interested in is being returned to normal!" Roy shouted. He was about to say something else when a bunch of loud thuds interrrupted. Several children came running through the room, all shouting.

"Mom! Mom!"

"Mom! Liam stole the remote!" Genesis shouted.

"I did not!" Liam shouted over his sister. "She left the room!"

"Mom, Brannet is messing with our experiments!" Jayde and Cecile yelled to their respective mothers.

"Make him stop!" Jayde complained.

"He's ruining everything by adding too much electricity!" Cecile added.

"Brannet, leave your sister and cousin's experiments alone!" Saberpilot called out.

"I'm not doing anything!"the six year oldhalf-alien protested.

"W-who are all these people?" Al stammered, trying to get a count on all of the additional kids.

"Well, this bunch here is Jayde, Brannet, and Cecile," Saber introduced. "The two squabbling about the remote are Liam and Genesis."

"Hey keep it down you guys!" Nicholas called, poking his head out of his room. "How can we play poker if you guys are shouting?!"

"The three in that room down there are Rem, Nicholas, and Locke. Gene is probably in there too if they're playing poker," Shadow added. She looked around, at a loss for a moment. "Where's Nicky?"

"RAWR!" the little black haired boy shouted, jumping out of his hiding place and firing a toy gun three times. Three sticky darts found themselves on Roy's forehead.

"Hey what have I told you about firing that in the house?" Shadow chided gently.

"Sorry, Mommy," the little boy chirped, running off.

Roy's eyebrow was twitching as Edward tried not to roll on the ground and laugh at his superior officer's predicament. "Fullmetal-"

Ed couldn't help it any more. He cracked up laughing, completely ignoring the chibi colonel.

"It's official," Roy grumbled, his eyebrow twitching. "I'm in hell."

The rest of the gang pretty much ignored the complaints of the chibi alchemist, laughing their heads off at how amusing the Flame alchemist looked... with nerf darts stuck on his forehead.

* * *

Well, that's the end of this adventure- we've taken care of Forka, and have Mustang with us- things can't get any more interesting, can they? 


	18. Tiphares Escape

Disclaimer: we do not own any of the series mentioned thus far or those yet to be mentioned. We do own ourselves... or rather Saber owns my soul now since the last game of Trash your Neighbor. And for the love of all that is holy, we do not own any part of Canada!

Saber woke up and stretched, mewling as she did so. She looked at the clock and grimaced. It was early and all she really wanted to do was go back to sleep. 'Darned cat genetics,' she thought to herself as she climbed out of bed. She listened to hear if anyone was awake, but from what she heard, most of the house's inhabitants were still nestled away in bed. With a sigh, she headed down the stairs, her eyes half shut with sleepiness.

"Good morning, sunshine," Shadow said from the couch, musing over a cup of coffee.

Saber jumped, clamping her hands over her mouth to keep herself from screaming. Two puffed up ears and a very puffed up tail appeared. Saber hissed. "Shadow, what do you think you're doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?! Why didn't you just turn the light on?"

Shadow pointed to a sleeping chibi Roy curled up in a nearby chair and grinned. "I figured I'd let him have a little bit of sleep. That and if I'd turned the light on, I probably would have woken some of the guys... and I wouldn't have had the chance to scare the crap out of you."

"Has anyone ever told you that you are evil?" Saber inquired mildly, pouring a bowl of cereal.

"Several times," Shadow chirped as she finished off her coffee. "And I've thanked each and every one of them."

"So, what has you up so early, my evil friend?" Saber asked, joining Shadow on the couch.

"Couldn't sleep," Shadow replied.

"Well that coffee can't be helping," the blonde cat-girl snorted.

"Eh..." Shadow mumbled, standing up. "I think I'm going to take a break from all this noise... I think I'm going to class."

"Wait, I'll come too!" Saber said. "You're not the only one who needs a break." She dumped her milk in the sink, the looked over at her friend. "Do you think the kids will be okay?"

"Do you think the guys will be okay?" Shadow countered.

"... I'll leave my cell-phone number."

"Mom?" Jayde called. "Mom?"

"Aunt Shadow?" Brannet called, looking in the kitchen. "Where are they, Jayde?"

Jayde shrugged. "I dunno."

"It says right here, guys," Cecile stated, pointing to a note on the marker board on the fridge door. "They went to class."

"So it's just us?" Brannet asked. His sister and cousin nodded. "Sweet." He was about to say something else when something out the window caught his attention. Brannet grabbed his jacket and bolted out the door before either girl could say anything.

"What is he doing?" Jayde asked Cecile as she watched her brother disappear around the corner of the house, his footsteps sinking into the light snow that covered the ground.

"I don't know," Cecile replied. "He's your brother."

"Look what I found!" Brannet exclaimed, running back into the house holding what appeared to be a tiny, shivering ball of sandy pink-brown and white fur. "It's a puppy!" he exclaimed.

"Oh, it's so cute!" Jayde squealed while Cecile shut the door.

"It's covered in mud," Cecile said, eyeing the little fur-ball.

"What are you guys squealing about?" Genesis asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Those eyes went wide when she saw what Brannet was holding. "Is that a puppy?!"

"Yeah, Brannet found it," Jayde grinned.

"Do you think our moms will let us keep him?" Genesis asked.

"I don't know..." Jayde said slowly. "Aunt Shadow is allergic to dogs."

Brannet's face fell and he huged the dog close. "But he has nowhere else to go!"

"Hey, what's all the noise about?" Nicholas asked as he, Rem, and Liam poked out of there rooms.

"Do any of you have any sense of respect?" Roy growled from the chair.

"Look what I found!" Brannet exclaimed, holding out the puppy. Roy looked at the tiny dog and smiled.

"We should give it a bath," Rem grinned. "Maybe if we clean it up and make it look nice, Mom and Aunt Shadow will let us keep it!"

"Yeah!" all of the other kids exclaimed, carrying the puppy to bathroom upstairs.

"But you're asking, Brannet!" Liam stated.

"Why me?" the little boy asked.

"Because you found it."

"... well, the house is still standing," Saber said, peeking her head through the door.

"Really?" Shadow asked, peeking inside. "Heh, and there's no screaming... or bloody body parts lying around. Who would have thought, huh?"

"Does this mean that we can go to class ourselves more often?"

"...that would probably be pressing our luck." Shadow stepped in the door and waited for an attack of children which never came. "Kids? Kids, where are you?"

"They're working on a project upstairs," Roy stated smugly from his chair, normal size again.

"Oh yeah?" Shadow asked. "What sort of project?"

"They're not setting a chemistry set up in the room, are they?" Saber inquired.

"Not at all."

"And how did you get back to normal size?!" Shadow demanded.

Roy smirked. "That would be telling, now wouldn't it?"

Shadow's eyes narrowed and she shook her finger at the black haired man. "I'll deal with you later, Mustang." The two girls headed toward the stairs when Wolfwood and Vash came down, blocking there way.

"Hey, what's the hurry?" Vash asked, wrapping his arm around Saber's shoulder, causing the girl to blush. Wolfwood has wrapped his arm around Shadow's waist, pulling her away from the stairs. "Let's sit down and have something to eat."

"What are you hiding from us?" Shadow asked, giving the man a sly look.

"Why what would make you think that we're up to anything?" Wolfwood replied with a grin and a wink.

"You're hiding something," Saber stated.

Vash laughed, blushing. "N-not at all! Why would we be hiding anything?"

"You," Shadow began, "like my counterpart here, are a very poor liar. And obviously all three of you are in on this together. So I'll ask you again; what are you hiding upstairs?"

"Mommy? Aunt Shadow?" Brannet asked walking into the room. The rest of the kids were waiting just out of sight beyond the door.

"Yes Brannet?" Saber asked her future son.

Brannet held out the little puppy and made a cute, very innocent look. "Can we keep him?"

Saber's blue eyes widened, and she let out a squeal. "He's so CUTE!" Saberpilot took the dog out from her future son's arms and held him in her own, making happy mewling noises as she did so. "He's so... oh my gosh, where did you find him?"

"Someone left him outside," Brannet informed her amid high-pitched giggles. Edward and the rest of the men had by this time joined the group, and Alphonse was laughing as Saber was viciously attacked by the dog's licking pink tongue. A few seconds into the attack, however, a slight cough interrupted the merriment.

"Ahem," Shadow coughed again. "Aren't we forgetting something?"

"A license?" Saber asked, blatently unaware of what the girl was insinuating. The blonde nodded, snapping her fingers as she did so. "A license! If we're going to keep him, we need to make sure he has his shots, a license-"

"No, no, no..." Shadow-chan added, placing her forefinger and thumb against the bridge of her nose. "I'm ALLERGIC, remember?"

"So?" Brannet asked, then looked towards Kish. "Da, what's 'lergic mean?"

"Well.." The alien scratched the back of his head. "I actually have no real clue-"

"IT MEANS he goes out, out, OUT!" Shadow yelled. "I can't live in the same area as that- that dog! I'll get sick!"

"But-" Brannet's eyes started to tear up, and from the look on the rest of the children's faces, it was going to be a tearfest soon, Saber and Vash both included. Alphonse appeared as though he was ready to cry himself.

Shadow-chan threw her hands in the air. "I know, I know! But I can't help it- if the dog stays, I'll be sick like a dog- no pun intended!"

"...can't we just keep him out of your room, Mommy?" Nicky asked, tears already starting to tear up. "He won't be bad, I promise. And we'll feed him and water him, and- and Brannet and I already thought of a name-"

"Not a name!" Shadow cringed. "If it already has a name, then-"

"Let's... just- Let's just get out of here for a while," Wolfwood suggested, staring at the kids' faces and back at Shadow's pained expression. "Didn't you say that you had to do some more cleanup work today?"

"Yeah, but- I still have that bit of elementary mathematics-"

"I can do that when we get back," Saber stated, giving both a peace sign and the puppy back to Brannet, whose eyes were worried. She winked at the kids, then pulled Shadow towards her.

"Come on. It'd give the kids a few more minutes with the puppy before we'd have to give it away," she hissed, although there was an understated amount of pain behind her own expression. "And you did say that you wanted a day out of all this."

"Well-"

"Come on," Mustang smirked. "Where's your sense of excitement?"

"...it left whenever you came?" Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Calm down, you two," Saber winced, trying to keep the two from fighting. "Why don't we just take a few people with us and leave the kids here to... clean the house and mess up?" She asked, winking towards Jayde and Locke, who both nodded in answer. Saber smiled at Shadow. "Now then, we should take only a few of you with us- I don't think we'll need many for this trip." The blonde looked over at the gathered men.

Gene and Alucard stared at the girl, but gave small nods, alerting the girl as to their attendance. Vash grinned, and Wolfwood waved slightly. Xellos and the rest of the men seemed disinterested until Spike raised a finger in answer to his attendance.

"Good. There, you see?" Saber grinned. "The boys and kids will take care of the house, and we can go clean up Forka's mess." The cat-girl herded Shadow away from the kids and puppy, torwards Shadow's room where the DGT lay.

"Why do I get the feeling you're up to something?"

"Never you mind," Saber winked as the men followed suit. "Just press the button."

A few minutes after they'd disappeared, both Jayde and Locke let out long held breaths of air.

"Thank God Mom's a quick thinker," Jayde commented, smiling as the puppy tackled both Brannet and Nicky at the same time. "Getting Aunt Shadow away from here will give us plenty of time to figure out reasons why the dog has to stay."

"Don't you mean Pippin?" Nicholas asked, laughing as he watched the little boys play. Rem smiled in an eerily mirror image. Liam laughed.

"Let's just hope a change in scenery can change Mom's mind. If that can't do it, nothing can."

Ido smiled as he watched his pride and joy read the book that he'd left out. Alita, originally named Gally, was smiling as she turned the pages in the old novel he'd found the other day in his belongings from Tiphares.

"Ido?"

"Hmm?" the blonde haired man asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What does species mean? As in the title? I don't quite understand what the author's talking about. I understand the term man, and the origin, but species does not make sense as to what I'm reading..."

"Species means the specific group of a type of animal. In man's case, that would be homosapien."

"Oh! So Darwin, when he is saying, "origin of the species", means the origin of the species known as man, or homosapien?"

"Correct," Ido grinned, Alita sharing the smile before going back to her reading. The girl was very calm now that Hugo had been visiting a lot more lately- he was a good kid, that Hugo. But if he broke her heart...

Well, he could fix broken spines and broken skulls... he didn't want to think about what he'd have to do for an Alita whose heart he could not mend.

But no matter. He went back to his work, fixing up the scrap metal he'd found so that it could be a replacement for Key's hand that the child had talked about needing the other day. He smiled. He could barely wait to see the girl's look of joy- that was the entire reason he'd left Tiphares in the first place. The people of the scrapyard actually appreciated his work, for one thing...

It was just then that the flash of light in the back of his apartment caught his eye, and he grabbed his motorized hammer, ready. Alita was already on her feet, her fist clenched in a form of a panzer kunst.

"Ido, get back!" She yelled, holding her hand back to her re-animator. The dust cleared to reveal two girls, one whom was on her hind legs and whose tail was swishing back and forth, as well as another, who stood with her back away from the surroundings. A man with green hair and one with blonde stood behind the two, guns ready. Beside them, A man carrying a large cross, as one with a cross broach, backed up the pair. In the far back, a red-haired man held a gun towards the sky.

In a few seconds, a silver-fingered hand pointed towards the two girls, but in the same moment three sets of guns were pointed towards the young woman. Alita's eyes turned to slits before she performed a backflip and gracefully landed in a backstance, her hands formed into spearhands.

"Who are you and why shouldn't I kill you?" She asked the newly arrived people.

"I am Shadow-chan and this is Saberpilot," the silver-haired young woman answered, her voice just as serious as the cyborg's. "And we're here on a mission of peace."

"Prove it," Alita challenged.

Saberpilot looked up into the red eyes, closed them, and lowered her head to the ground, exposing her neck to the cyborg in a gesture of submission. After a few moments of this, she gazed deeply into Alita's eyes.

"We. Mean you. No harm."

Ido placed his hand on Alita's shoulder, and nodded to the newcomers. "I believe them, Alita-san. Do not worry, I don't think they came for either you or me."

"Where are you from?" Alita pressed. "Are you from Tiphares?"

"Tia-what?" Spike blinked, then shrugged. "Never heard of it. Where are we, anyways? Either of you girls know?" He glanced at the neko girl and the half-Plant.

"Not offhand," Shadow-chan admitted. "Saber?"

"Gunmetal Battle Angel Alita," Saberpilot hissed, her eyes turning to slits. "We're in the Scrapyard-" she stood up and faced the cyborg in front of her. "and this, I believe, is Alita, also known as Gally. Am I clear thus far?"

"Crystal," Ido answered with a grin. "And if you know Alita, I'm assuming that you know who I am."

"Doctor Ido, the best biotechnological surgeon and doctor in the entirety of both the Scrapyard and Tiphares," Saber grinned, giving the man a slight nod. Wolfwood raised an eyebrow at the man, lowering his merciful cross and instead glancing at the black-haired Alita, who had still not lowered her hands.

"You... going to relax?" he asked the young woman.

Alita's eyes shifted towards the preacher. After a second and a nod from Ido, the cyborg put her hands down. She glanced at Saberpilot and gave her a curt nod.

"So you've heard of us. Why are you here?"

"To check and make sure that you are dealing with the Pokemon menace," Saber outlined quickly, gesturing with her hands. "Or to see if you require any assistance in the extermination of the creatures."

"...Pokemon?" Ido blinked. "Creatures?"

"Yeah," Gene nodded, placing his gun back quickly and gesturing with his hands to indicate a creature of less than a foot in height. "Oddly bright colors- yellow, red, green, the works... seem to have childish abilities..?"

"Childish abilities?" Alita blinked and looked at her mentor. "I don't believe we've had anything the like thereof. Ido?"

"Not that I know of. And none of the bounty hunters have mentioned anything," he shrugged.

"Huh," Shadow mused. "You're sure? No strange occurrences lately?"

"Nothing?" Vash asked, skeptic.

"Well..." Ido said after a moment's thought, then snapped his fingers. "There was that one odd incident on the Eastern side of the Scrapyard, near the Tiphares dumping grounds..." The blonde man stopped a moment, rubbing his naked chin so as to speed up his thought processes. "Had something to do with 'unidentified creatures', to say the least. They could be the things you were mentioning..."

"Ido, you never told me about anything like that," Alita accused.

"I didn't think it was important," Ido answered. "Besides, I believed that a bunch of small creatures would be less than a worthy adversary for you." He turned to the newcomers. "You said these things are... dangerous?"

"Hardly to the likes of you," Spike responded with a raised brow. "I noticed your stance. Martian Panzer Kunzt style, no?"

Alita's face blanched as she looked at the green-haired man, her eyes quickly turning to slits. "What do you know of it?"

"I studied it," Spike responded off-handishly.

"Wait- wha-"

"If we could please return to the point here," Wolfwood coughed. Ido looked slightly amused.

"So these creatures are on the Eastern side of the Scrapyard, correct?" Gene asked with a grin. "So why don't we go and take care of the scum?" He pulled a castor shell from his left-carrier case that hung on his belt. Grinning, he thumbed a direction towards the others.

"Well? Are we going?"

"Locke?!?"

"Hmm?" the older boy asked little Nicky, who seemed to be making much noise amid his query. When no answer came, he stood up and headed towards the boy's room that he shared with the other younger boy, Brannet. There, the two kids had apparently decided that 'Pippin' needed a haircut.

"Oh my Go-LIAM! JAYDE! CECILE! REM! ...NICHOLAS! Get in HERE!" the vampiric teenager yelled. Seconds later, the twins and Locke's younger brother ran into the room, followed by Jayde, who appeared via her half-alien magic in the room with Cecile quite literally in hand.

"Locke, you-" the half-alien young woman started, only then to see the little dog's fur, which was quite disheveled. With wide eyes, she turned to glare at Brannet, who was staring at the newly arrived youths with what could only be described as feigned innocence.

Not buying it, Jayde grabbed his large ear, rather pointedly.

"What the HECK were you doing?"

"Giving the doggy a haircut," Nicky proudly smiled, holding up a pair of scissors. He grinned widely. "Pippin wanted to look nice for Mommy and Daddy, didn't you, Pippin?"

Liam face-vaulted for a minute, then began to laugh hysterically. Locke gave his younger brother a look.

"Stop it, you're encouraging them."

"Encouraging WHO?" Genesis asked, walking into the room. Locke blinked.

"Wait- you- it wasn't your idea to do this?"

"Do what?" Genesis asked, blinking at all the youth surrounding Brannet and Nicky, then tilting her head slightly so that she could see Pippin sitting on the floor with his tongue out, happily watching the chaos surrounding. The girl's eyes turned to saucers and she began to giggle wildly. Locke raised an eyebrow in chilled anger.

"You will be SILENT," he roared at the little girl, whose eyes became wide, and she shut up quickly. However, a tiny grin still pulled at the sides of her shut lips. An aura of red around the teen slowly faded once the girl had calmed herself down.

It was just then that Roy Mustang, Kish, Xellos, and Al all jumped into the area where the kids were, having heard screams and yells coming from the childrens' room. Roy's fingers were on the ready, his flame alchemy only being held at bay for not seeing any foreseeable trouble.

"What's going on here?" Kish asked Jayde, who was still holding her younger brother off the floor by his ear; the youth was barely managing to keep himself float off the floor.

"Well, you see," Locke started, only to have Genesis blurt out, "The boys cut Pippin's hair!"

"...WHAT?" Al blinked, getting about the kids' heads to see a very badly done hair cut applied to the dog, who was oblivious to everything still.

Xellos burst out into a wide grin and walked over to where Nicky sat by the canine. He patted the child on the head.

"Well done."

"I thought," Roy stated, his right eyebrow twitching, "that you were in TROUBLE. That this was an EMERGENCY."

"...it wasn't," Rem answered back, her hands on her hips and facing the alchemist. "So put that in your pipe and smoke it, because your hot air and anger is only making things worse- look at little Nicky!"

The child appeared as though he were about to cry, half from the level of anger surrounding him, the other half from being scared of Xellos. Mustang lowered his hands slowly, aware that he was, indeed, only making things worse.

"But doesn't Pippin look better?" he asked, tears threatening to fall. "I thought- me and Brannet thought- if he looked better, Mommy would let us keep him."

The men and other kids in the room stopped short at that remark, clearly unsure of how to respond. Rem, however, did not stop moving, instead running forward and clasping the child to herself before a tear could touch the floor. Nicky quickly settled down after that, Rem taking him out of his room and back to hers so that she could quiet him

"...Let. Me. GO!" Brannet yelled at Jayde, who merely raised an eyebrow, annoyed.

"You're older than him. You know better."

"We thought that if the dog was cut and cleaned, Aunt Shadow'd let us keep him," Brannet pouted.

"Yeah. Good job you did," Liam snorted, walking forward and patting Pippin on the head consolingly. He looked up at Locke and the rest of the fourteen and older crowd. "Well? What should we do now?" He glanced back at Pippin's disheveled coat. "There's no covering this up- poor dog looks like he's been half shorn"  
The men glanced between themselves, unsure. It was Mustang, however, who snapped his fingers, although fire did not burst from them when he did.

"Here's what we have to do..."

"So those are the evil creatures?" Alita asked with a raised eyebrow.

Leagues of yellow, red, and other random colored creatures littered the Scrapyard's Junk Yard. The Tiphares dumping grounds looked like an undone rainbow, so scattered and unorganized were the creatures amid the junk.

"Yep," Saberpilot nodded, reaching into her knapsack and pulling out what looked like metal lemons. Ido looked at the items with some interest.

"What are those?"

"The creatures?" Shadow-chan blinked. "But we explained earlier-"

"No, those-" he pointed at the grenades that Saberpilot held in both her hands... and the tail that had just sprouted, much to Alita's amazement.

"What the hel-"

"Genetic bombs," Saber grinned. "They destroy an entire species based on their genetic structure." Smiling from ear to ear, the cat-girl pressed the button on the side of the one and threw it towards a group of oddly-red lizards.

"Charza-" one of the animals yelled, then stopped as it, and its counterparts around it, were engulfed in a bright light that made them fall to the ground in a matter of seconds. Alita and Ido's eyes became wide.

"See?" Saber grinned. "Genetic bombs."

"Don't do that," Alita stated, and Saberpilot took a step back from the young cyborg, whose hands were clenched into fists. "Don't do that again."

"But-" Shadow started, "They're evil! They have to be destroyed!"

Edward stepped in between Alita and Saberpilot, his back towards the black-haired young woman. He turned his head slightly towards her.

"Miss Alita-" he started, "they're right- these things have tried to take over numerous worlds, including my own- they have to be destroyed!"

Alita's fists clenched even harder.

"That may be so, but it's not them that's evil! It's the person that was controlling them, right?"

Vash saw where this was going, and nodded, much to Wolfwood's chagrin. Gene appeared as though he was pissed at the cyborg for ruining his fun.

"Then why do we have to destroy them?" Alita asked Edward and the others. "They have done nothing wrong- their only fault is that they don't know where they are and are trying to make it into their new home-" she cried, only to feel Ido's hand on her shoulder. The cyborg started to weep into the man's jacket.

"...why will you not destroy these evil creatures? Why do you shed tears for them?" Alucard hissed. He walked up to the young woman and pulled one of her arms away from Ido's body, holding it one of his own. Alita gritted her teeth and pulled her arm through his, breaking through both skin and bone. A very loud thwack was heard as his hand fell to the ground. Ido's eyes grew wide.

"Alita! What have you-"

"It's not a problem," Alucard shrugged, and raised his handless limb over its part. A black shadow writhed up from the fallen limb, and in a matter of seconds, the hand rematerialized back onto its proper place. Ido's eyes nearly popped from his head, as well as Edward's.

"What the hell- where did you learn how to do that?" Edward asked, his golden eyes incredulous.

Alucard smiled, his own eyes gleaming from behind his glasses. "It is not learned. It is a talent born to my kind."

"Born?" Ido asked, blinking. "What are you, some kind of cyborg?"

Alita gritted her teeth, then smiled with great anticipation. "So you're one of those people filled with nanomachines, eh?" She held out her fist, angry with the black-haired 'demon', but it was then that Gene Starwind and Spike both pointed their guns in opposite directions, Gene towards Alita, and Spike towards Alucard.

"What are you doing, mortal?" Alucard hissed at Spike. The green haired man raised an eyebrow.

"Keeping you from stopping this mission. If you want this world to survive this epidemic of creatures, then you're going to have to sit tight and be a good boy."

Shadow's eyes nearly popped from her head at the bounty hunter's bold statement, afraid for what Alucard was going to do to the emerald-haired man. However, the vampire chuckled, much to her surprise.

"You are indeed foolish, mortal. But if it keeps this one happy," he smiled, placing a hand on Shadow's shoulder, "then I shall desist in fighting."

The silver-haired girl waved the vampire off, slightly embarrassed. "Now, Alucard-"

"Does anyone here want to make a decision as to what we're going to do?" Wolfwood asked, yawning. "Are we going to get rid of the Pokemon, or aren't we?"

"No," Alita said, just as Saberpilot said "Yes." Vash raised an eyebrow.

"Saber, what about 'love and peace'?" he asked the blonde. Saberpilot looked straight into his eyes and sighed.

"Vash, I just don't see any other way out of this," Saberpilot stated. "If we-"

"Oh for the love of God!" Shadow snarled, interrupting everyone. "Look, just... just stop. All of you just stop! I have an idea. Now, it won't please all of you, or at least, not completely, but it'll work. Maybe."

"And if it doesn't?" Alita demanded.

"Then we destroy them all before one of them shocks myself or Vash and weinadvertently destroy the entire Scrapyard." Alita and Ido's eyes went wide at that statement.

The blonde then turned to her silver haired counterpart. "So, what's your plan?"

"Are you certain this is going to work?" Spike asked Shadow as she, Saber, and he slowly edged their way deeper into the Scrapyard. He was covering her directly while the others waited at verious places, hidden by the junk, ready to spring forward into action if need be. Alita didn't look happy, but Shadow's plan had been the best idea thus far and at least gave the pokemon a chance, however small, to survive. Ido had been slightly amused at the idea, though he wouldn't say so out loud. He didn't need to though, the girls could see it in his eyes.

"No," Shadow replied. "But it's worth a shot right?"

"You do know that you have an incredibly sick mind, right?" Saber asked with a grin as they edged closer to the rainbow of rodents. With the charazard gone, it seemed that most of the Pokemon were mouse or rat types. It made Saber want to just run after them and play with them... and not in a good way. But the thought of what would happen if one shocked Shadow kept her from giving into her feline urges.

"Yes," was all the silver haired girl would say, though the grin on her face could only have been described as wicked. "Okay, let's see if we can get their attention."

"How are we going to do that?" Spike muttered. "Just yell out 'hey you'? That'll really work."

"Hey you!" Shadow called out. A sea of tiny heads with beady little eyes popped up, staring at her. Shadow shivered involuntarily. "Lord and Lady, that was creepy as hell."

"Well, you have their attention," Spike whispered, his finger sliding toward the trigger of his gun. "Now what?"

"Now it's my turn," Saber whispered back, stepping forward. "I know that you all are lost! I don't know if you understand me or not, but I know where your owner is!" The sea of beady eyes turned to her and the creatures all started to move, slowly, forward, as if listening to her. "Do you see that city up there?" Hundreds of little heads turned to the sky to look at Tiphares. Murmers of "Chu" replied to her question. "Your owner is up there! All you have to do is make it to that city!"

The creatures all let out various cries as they scurried and jumped and climbed their way onto the dumping tube that connected the scrapyard to Tiphares. Hundreds of them swarmed the tubular pathways as the rainbow of scurrying creatures climbed, jumping over the spiked knives that attempted, however futilely, to keep them at bay. A few were cut down as each guard passed, but a large number made it further and further, closer and closer to the city in the sky.

"Run, my little minions!" Shadow cackled. "Go forth and destroy!"

"You really are meant for that vampire," Gene mumbled as the trio rejoined the group.

"Will they be able to adapt up there?" Alita asked a bit worriedly.

"Sure," Shadow replied with a grin. "Most of them feed on electricity. The rich, smug, know-it-alls of Tiphares are about to get a real... shocker."

"So you're saying that we're going to reapply the dog's fur using alchemy?" Ryou inquired, watching as Roy drew an array on the kitchen floor using a marker. It had been the only thing that he'd been able to find and no one was trying to stop him, so he went with it.

"Yes," Al answered for the man. "The cut fur will fuse back into place as if it had never been cut. Shadow and Saber will never know that the boys tried their little experiment."

"What if it doesn't work?" Cecile asked.

"Then you won't have to worry about Shadow not wanting to keep the dog in the first place," Roy stated cooly as he placed the dog and the fur in the center of the array.

"You'd better not hurt Pippin!" Nicky shouted, his eyes tearing up. "I'll tell Mommy-"

"It'll work, Nicky," Al promised.

"You can't say a word of this to Mom or Saber," Cecile added. The little boy nodded and Roy knelt down at the edge of the circle, touching the line that he'd made. A bright red light filled the kitchen, blinding everyone momentarily.

"Did it work?" Kish wondered, blinking rapidly to clear his vision.

"Oh. My. God," Liam gasped, staring at the kitchen counter. He fought to not burst out laughing. Genesis had already given in and was rolling on the floor as the laughter escaped her lips.

"Colonel, what did you do?!" Al gasped, staring down at the puppy.

Sitting in the center of the array on the kitchen floor was Pippin. The fur had been replaced, but now the poor dog looked as if he'd been washed then tossed into a dryer for half and hour. A ball of cotton or a dandelion puff came to mind when everyone stared at it.

"The fur is reattached at any rate," Roy stated.

"You just need to work on your chemical alchemy a little more, that's all," Rem said consolingly. Roy glared at her but bit his tongue.

"We need to give him another bath," Nicholas sighed, picking the little ball of sandy pink and white fur up. And it literally was a ball of fur this time... "Come on you, let's get this fixed."

"Nicky, Brannet, you help Nicholas," Jayde advised. "The rest of us will make sure that the rest of the house is spotless." She turned on Roy. "You get to mop the kitchen floor. Your array, your cleanup."

"Well, I must say that your plan isn't one that I would have thought of, but it does work," Ido agreed over a cup of coffee.

"And the smug bastards that live in Tiphares will get some form of comeuppance," Shadow said gleefully.

"You're just overly happy to be causing some mayhem, aren't you?" Gene wondered.

"Oh yes." Shadow practically oozed smugness as she sipped at the strong coffee.

"It's a shame though, that we finished so quickly."

"Quickly?!" Spike choked on the local ale. "That took a few hours at least!"

"Yeah, but a few hours more with puppy is only going to seem like a few moments to the kids," Saber replied. "Especially Brannet and Nicky."

"Yes, I know, I know! I get it! I'm the evil mother and aunt!" Shadow said with an exasperated sigh, pushing away from the table. "Unfortunately, this is God's way of telling me She doesn't want me to have a dog!" Ido and Alita gave Saber curious looks, inquiring softly as Shadow stepped outside.

"Our... children found a small puppy this morning," Saber explained, "while we were both at class. They want to keep it and I don't have any problems with it; it's the sweetest thing in the world. Unfortunately, Shadow is allergic to dogs. They make her really sick, so she can't let the kids keep it. They're going to be so sad, but I suppose we can't do anything."

"Not quite," Ido said, a smile playing on his lips. "There is something that can be done, that would turn the allergy off, so to speak, and she would recover fairly quickly."

"Ido," Alita smiled, already knowing where this was going. She stood up, winked at Saber, then headed into the confines of his laboratory.

"Really?" Saber asked. "But... how? I have to warn you, she's not going to submit herself to a doctor willingly, not even for the sake of the kids. She's got... this paranoid streak. Call it an enigmatic sense of self-protection. If she doesn't see the doctor, she's healthy."

Ido raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" Saber looked down at her tea, trying to think of a nice way to state that Shadow would rather willingly fight Alita barehanded, eat garbage, then proceed to waltz around in a tutu than place herself in the hands of a doctor willingly. Not after everything that had happened before college when she nearly lost her life because of medical incompetence. "I'd haphazardly guess she thinks herself afraid of doctors?," Ido asked, reading the trouble look on Saber's face.

"To put it mildly," Saber admitted. "She'd probably try to take your hand off with her teeth if you attempted anything, even to help."

Alucard rose from the table with the grace of a cat, a cheshire grin stretching from ear to ear. "Leave that to me."

Ido raised an eyebrow as the vampire left, but Alita re-entered the duo's presence, allowing the two blondes to have a little techspeak before the vampire accomplished what Saber had assumed he was going to do.

Shadow stood outside of Doctor Ido and Alita's home, while the others talked, staring up at the sky. She felt bad that the kids wouldn't be able to keep the puppy but it couldn't be helped. Simply put, it was either her or the dog... and the dog didn't pay for the rent. Even though that was the case, though... it still put her out that she'd have to go home and face those forlorn faces of the kids... the faces that cut at her heart because of their large tearful eyes.

Alucard simply raised an eyebrow as he lurked in the shadow of the doorway. She was projecting her thoughts again, and loudly at that. He'd have to do this for his own self-protection. With an ample grin, he stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What am I going to do, Alu-san?" Shadow asked. "How am I supposed to tell all of those little faces that the dog has to go?" She turned to face him and moved to hug him, as if to seek some comfort. She looked up at him and saw him grinning. "What?"

"You won't." He leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back, and before she knew what was happening, everything went blank.

"How much time do you think we have until she wakes up?" Gene asked, staring at the unconcious Shadow-chan. "I don't want to fondle her only to find out that she's about to wak-"

A pair of red eyes bored into the outlaw, and he shrugged and laughed, waving off Alucard's glare.

"I'm kidding, blood-sucker, I'm kidding."

"Real bright, Starwind. Tease the deadly vampire, why don't you?" Spike asked, a green eyebrow raised. "I agree with what Jim said- it is a wonder you've survived until now."

Gene gave no comment, but merely gave the bounty hunter a moot glance, subsiding his vocal thoughts to mere non-verbal ones.

"Should only be a minute," Ido smiled. "Alita, you did bring the spray needle?"

The black haired android grinned and nodded. "Right here." She handed the instrument to Doctor Ido, and the blonde haired man smiled. With a quick nod to Saberpilot, he placed the spray needle nearby the computer module that he'd placed near her. "Now, Miss Saber, if you wouldn't mind programming the mech with the specifics I told you-"

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow towards Vash as Saber quickly typed away at the computer, her cat tail swishing back and forth. With a quick eyeglance to get the Stampede's attention, he finally jerked his thumb towards the girl.

"What's she doing?"

"Programming."

"Pro-what? Putting some computer stuff into a needle and injecting into her?" Wolfwood shook his head. "That doesn't sound like it'd work."

"That's... pretty much what she's doing," Ido answered, trying to stifle his laughs. "She's putting in the cross connections for the nanomachines I'm injecting into her." When Wolfwood's expression told him that he might as well have been speaking Greek, he laughed outright. "She's basically putting the stuff in the needle that'll make Miss Shadow-chan not allergic to canines."

"I can't imagine being allergic to dogs," Alita smiled. "They're too cute!"

"Well, you'd better hurry it up," Vash said, glancing towards Alucard. "How long did you say she'd be out?"

"At most an hour," Alucard shrugged. "I didn't weave a strong spell- I didn't want to lift any of my restrictions."

"...lazy git," Gene commented, then coughed to hide his comment behind a hand.

"All done!" Saber cheerfully squealed. She pulled the spray needle from its connecting compartment and gave it to Ido. "The nanomachines have all been converted to protein masses, so they won't interfere, just like you told me to."

"Well done," Doctor Ido smiled. "Alita, if you could lift her up like so-" he nodded towards Shadow-chan's shoulders, and the cyborg nodded, picking her up gently and holding her so that her head would not fall forward. The Doctor then gently placed his spray needle on the back part of her neck, where her spine connected to the bottom of her skull. After a moment's time, he smiled, and Alita laid her back down.

"Well, what else do you have to do?" Gene asked. "We don't want her to wake up."

"It's done," Ido smiled. Spike raised an eyebrow.

"You're done already."

"Yep," Ido agreed, nodding.

"...that seems too quick," Wolfwood agreed. "Shouldn't there be a checkup, or a list of things to look for, or-"

"No, it's done."

The men stood there, about to raise other questions, when Alita laughed. "None of you are used to this kind of technology, are you?" No one answered, except for a happy Saberpilot, who laughed and grinned.

"No, but I wish I did!"

Alita smiled, and took the blonde aside. "Before you leave, I want to show you something..." The two disappeared into the depths of the laboratory, returning a few minutes later. Saberpilot had a large grin on her face, and her tail could hardly stop waving.

"So I guess we're going?" Spike asked the blonde. Saber nodded.

"Of course." She turned to the Doctor and his surrogate daughter and shook both their hands. "Thank you for your help. I hope we helped out in some way."

"Indeed," Ido grinned. "I get the feeling that the Scrapyard is going to become more and more important in the days ahead." He smiled and nodded to the men. "Travel safely. If you can, be sure to keep in touch."

"Will do," Saber saluted, the rest of the bishounen standing behind her. Shadow-chan was in Alucard's arms, where she was under his continuing eye. In a few seconds, the entire party was gone, having disappeared into the black abyss of the DGT's warp hole.

"...what exactly did you show Saberpilot?" Ido asked Alita as the cyborg went about cleaning up the lab. The young woman smiled. "Just a little bit of your nanotechnology structures," she answered. "It seemed like something she'd enjoy." She paused, then asked Ido a question. "Did you mean what you said about the Scrapyard?"

"Yes," Ido said. "Now Alita, I have something to tell you, and I was going to wait, but I guess I should tell you now. It deals with Tiphareans and the citizenship ceremony..."

"Haven't you finished cleaning that yet?" Jayde hissed, rushing to put things black in place. Roy was still working, along with Al, trying to get the array off of the kitchen floor.

"It won't come off!" Al said plaintively. "Colonel, what did you use to draw this?"

Rem picked up the marker, and her eyes practically bulged out of her head. "Permanent marker! You used permanent marker! You... you..."

"Moron!" Genesis shouted. "That's not going to come off any time soon and Mom and the others will be home any minute!"

"So what do we do?" Liam asked.

"Jayde, come with me," Locke said, and idea forming in his head. Both disappeared for a few minutes and when they reappeared, they were carrying a rolled up area rug. "Here, help me roll it out."

The rug was cream colored with darker brown and rust designs woven in. It looked as if it had come from the middle east, and the designs were incredibly pleasant to look at. Al couldn't help think that it would have been something that Scar and the other Ishbalians would have liked. Nicholas and Liam didn't look so impressed though.

"You honestly think that Aunt Shadow isn't going to notice that?" Nicholas asked. "That just screams, 'Look! We did something wrong!' right when you look at it."

"It's better than Mom noticing the array and going nuts," Locke pointed out.

"He's right," Cecile agreed. "I'd rather not see Mom go berserk until after she says we can keep the dog."

"I don't think the dog is going to be the one in trouble," Rem said. "Just anyone who can use alchemy."

Saber, Wolfwood, Spike, Gene, and Vash landed on the living room floor in a pile, while Alucard landed on his feet, still holding Shadow. He set her down on the couch as the children all ran into the living room with the puppy, now less fluffy, in tow. Pippin launched himself onto Shadow before any of the kids could stop him, and started licking her face playfully.

Shadow let out a slight moan and shoved at the dog. "Ick, Lord and Lady, your breath stinks!" she exclaimed, opening her eyes. "Get away from me, you little monster!"

Saber lifted the puppy off of the silver haired girl and gave Shadow a curious look. "So... how do you feel?"

"How do I feel?" Shadow repeated, confused. "I feel... fine." She seemed surprised at that and Saber grinned. "Wow... I feel all right..."

"It worked!" the blonde girl exclaimed.

Shadow raised an eyebrow, suspicious. "What worked? And where- why am I home?" She slitted her eyes. "What the hell happened and why the hell did you knock me unconcious?"

"Um..." Saber stuttered. "Well... I figured it'd be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, so, um..."

"So...?" Shadow asked, fairly certain she didn't like where this was going.

"So," Alucard smiled through fanged canines, "We made sure that your allergy would not be a reason in your not allowing the children to keep the canine."

"...wait. Leyman's terms. Now."

"We... kind of had AlucardknockyououtandhadIdoinjectananomachineintoyousothatyouwouldn't beallergictoPippin," Saber answered quickly.

Shadow's eyes went wide then narrowed again. Saber's ears and tail appeared, her tail swishing nervously as she waited to see how her silver haired friend would react to the news. Shadow stood up, glaring daggers at the entire group. Saber cringed, waiting for the screaming to start, but instead, Shadow walked over to Alucard and punched the vampire in the shoulder with as much strength as she could.

"You knocked me out so that Ido could inject nano-machacallits into my brain?" she demanded. Alucard simply nodded, nonplussed by the girl's rising level of anger. "I can't believe you! I've told you how I felt about doctors!"

"Which is why I knocked you unconscious."

Shadow let out a low growl. "I can't believe you!" She was just about ready to storm out of the room when a tug at the hem of her shirt broke her out of her tirade. She looked down at Nicky and all of her anger practically evaporated.

"Mommy, can we keep him?" the little boy asked.

"Yeah, Mom, can we?" Cecile added. "You aren't allergic any more!"

"Well," Shadow sighed. "Since my only real reason to get rid of him is pretty much null, I- I suppose." The kids began to cheer. "But," Shadow cut in, "I will not be in charge of feeding the mutt. You will all feed him, groom him, and make sure he doesn't make any messes in the house."

"We will," Brannet promised.

Shadow looked down at the little furball, whose tongue was hanging out the side of his mouth as he panted happily. She looked uncertain for a moment, as if she was reconsidering her statement. Instead, she asked, "... so what's his name?"

"Pippin!" Nicky and Brannet said at the same time.

"Oh, what an adorable name!" Saber exclaimed, grinning. "I just l-" she stopped midsentence as something caught her eyes. "Guys... why is there an area rug in our kitchen?"

The children all seemed to step away from the 'infected' area, Brannet looking as though he wanted somewhere to hide. Saber, however, had other ideas as to what was actually going on, and she acted on her suspicions by scooping the young boy up by the back of his shirt collar. With a raised eyebrow, she walked into the room and slid the rug up off of the floor, revealing a very large and very permanent alchemic array on the floor.

The cat-gir's eyebrows went up and she gave the young boy a questioning glance.

"What? It's... well, um... he drew it!" Brannet pointed at Roy Mustang, whose face dropped at the child's outstretched index finger. The flame alchemist's brows twitched and contorted; his plain expression turned to one of anger.

"You little-" He went to snap his fingers instinctively and found a very strong hand holding his thumb and finger apart. Not understanding, he tried to pull them closer, only to feel a large searing pain in the back of his hand. Mustang looked up to see Saberpilot holding his hand in hers... with both her index and middle finger pointedly pressing on his back-of-hand pressure point.

"Don't. Even. Think. About. It." she slowly told the man, and pressed her fingers in deeper between the grooves of his fingers. Roy bucked down onto the floor, his eyes wide at the girl's sudden action.

"Now you," she stated to Brannet, who was still being held by the cuff of his shirt, "are going to clean up this mess."

"But we can't!" Nicky stated, Jayde slapping her forehead as soon as the child spoke. "He did it in perm- perm- perm-" he stuttered, the word slightly alien to his four-year-old tongue. Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"Permanent?" she queried.

Nicky smiled. "That's right, permanent marker!" he giggled with glee. Saber and Shadow exchanged glances. Maes, Liam, Locke, Rem, and Nicholas all looked as though they, too, were trying to find corners to hide in as well.

"So... why, exactly, is there an array on the floor in permanent ink?" Saberpilot asked, placing Brannet on the ground and kneeling next to him. Brannet looked down at the ground and wouldn't answer, shaking his head. The blonde slitted her blue eyes, and the little boy started to tear up. After about a minute of this, Saber stood up and looked at those around her.

"Well." she stated, and it was not a question. "SINCE no one seems to be able to speak, I guess I'll have to punish you ALL-"

"Wait!" Nicky stopped, holding up his hand. He looked at the other kids, then back at his future mother. "The other kids too?"

"Yep," Shadow nodded. "There's no other way for this to be fair."

Thinking on this, the little black-haired child pursed his lips together, then glanced at Brannet, who nodded slowly. After a minute, he pointedly gazed into Saber's eyes.

"We did it. Brannet and I. We wanted the dog to look pretty so that Mommy would keep him, so we gave him a haircut."

Shadow glanced at Saberpilot, who was fighting not to laugh at the image forming inside her head of an obviously sheared Pippin.

"But when the other kids and bi-bi- men," he decided, unable to pronounce the word 'bishounen', "saw Pippin, they thought he looked bad. So Mr. Mustang-" Shadow's eyes flashed at the man, "said he could put the hair back on Pippin if he did some things with the lines and his hands."

"And let me guess. You used permanent marker because that's all you bothered to pick up," Shadow stated. Roy didn't seem to hear nor look up, and Ed wore as guilty an expression, making the young woman smirk.

Saberpilot, on the other hand, stood up and snapped her fingers. "Fine. That's fine. I'm glad to hear the truth of the matter, that's all," she stated, and the children as well as the men seemed to let out a breath they'd been holding. "However-"

Those in the room stiffened again.

"However," Saber repeated calmly, her feline ears and tail disappearing, "you will be making up for this problem by cleaning up the mess you left. By paying myself and Shadow back through housework for the mess we're going to have to have professionally cleaned."

Brannet groaned until Saberpilot winked at him. "Your punishment, Mr. Brannet, will be to fix, scan, and defragment my computer network." The little boy tried to appear to not be too eager, although a definate smile came through.

"You," Shadow-chan pointed at Nicky, smiling, "Have the job of putting away all the toys in your and Brannet's room."

The rest of the kids smiled, happy the boys had gotten off so easily, or so they believed. Mustang stood up, ready to return to his room, when Saber stopped him with a hand. The Flame alchemist raised an eyebrow.

"What? Haven't you dealt with the children already?" he harrumphed.

"Not... quite," Saber answered him, then pointed at a nearby bucket and mop. "We're going to go get some cleaner. YOU, Mr. Mustang, will be mopping up the entirety of the kitchen, as well as every single linoleum floor in this house." With a smirk, the blonde crossed her arms. "You'd better get started."

Shadow-chan's jaw dropped as she watched the Colonel grumble for a moment, then proceed to pick up the mop and start filling the bucket with water. Ed smirked.

"I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks," he snickered as Roy continued to grumble under his breath, saying how unfair this crazy place was turning out to be.


	19. A Christmas Story

Disclaimer: huff huff I've been hurrying to get this ready and up before Christmas- Christmas Eve is a tight squeak, but I'm glad it's done. victory sign In any case, we don't own any of the anime forementioned (unless it's in VHS or DVD form- or manga) and we own no rights to the characters. So there.

Oh, and we still don't own Canada. :D

* * *

Roy glared at Shadow-chan, who was completely oblivious to him, her silver hair covering her face like a veil as she bent over a test study guide. "Are you going to answer me?" the chibified colonel demanded.

"You know," Ryou said in a conversational tone, "the more you ask her, the more she's going to ignore you."

"Mom?" Liam asked, appearing in the living room of the apartment.

Shadow looked up from her paper and answered, "Yes?"

"Did you put an electric collar on Genesis' neck?"

"Why?"

"Because she says you did and I asked dad the other day but he refused to give me an answer," Liam replied. "Did you?"

"Yes."

"Does it work?"

"Yes."

"Can I see the controller?" the black haired young man asked.

"No," Shadow stated. "But if she's getting into something, I'll give her a jolt."

"She's trying to rig Locke's and my room with water bombs." Shadow reached into her pocket and pulled out a tiny controller and pressed a button labeled '3'. Someone in the next room let out a high pitched squeal, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. Moments later Genesis stomped into the room.

"I wish you'd drop dead!" the little girl screamed, meaning it with every inch of her body.

"I love you too," Shadow responded calmly. "And when you've decided to stop behaving like a monster, I'll take the collar off."

Genesis just growled, stomping off.

"Thanks Mom," Liam said, running off.

"Now, if we could get back to the topic at hand," Roy demanded, before Shadow could look back at her paper.

"Are you still grumbling about that?" Shadow asked.

"Yes, and I will continue to press the matter until it is resolved."

Shadow grinned, tweaked the chibi's nose, and went back to her paper. The truth was, Shadow had returned Roy Mustang to chibi form because she knew his reputation. And, for some reason, she felt that if he'd tried his charms on her, eventually she might have reacted. So he was much safer to deal with as a chibi. Of course, everyone else figured she was doing it because she hated the military in general and never missed an opportunity to play with the colonel's mind.

"We're back!" Saber called, walking through the door trailed by Vash, Wolfwood, Edward, and Al, all of them carrying grocery bags.

"Heyla," Shadow called absentmindedly.

"You wouldn't believe the weather!" Vash exclaimed.

"I've heard of snow, but I'd never seen it until now!" Wolfwood added.

"It's great!" Al agreed. "There's so much!"

Shadow climbed to her knees and crawled over to the window, peering outside. A few inches of snow already covered the ground and more was falling lightly. Shadow just snorted and went back to her book.

"You southerners," she commented.

"What?" Ed asked.

"That outside is nothing."

"Shadow's from farther up north," Saber explained, unpacking grocceries. "They get a lot of snow."

"I don't remember a time in the last 17 years where I've seen less than five feet of snow... and that's a light winter."

The four men's eyes went wide. "Five feet!"

"How did you manage to get around with that much snow?" Al asked.

Shadow grinned. "That's what snow pants and boots were for."

"Enough about snow," Roy snapped, trying to bring Shadow back to the topic at hand, which was his height. "Will you or will you not return me back to my normal height?"

"Fine," Shadow said.

Roy looked surprised. "Really?"

"No."

Ed snickered, helping Saber unpack while Al looked over Shadow's shoulder. "Sir, you know why she's doing this, don't you?" the brown haired boy asked.

"The words evil and torture come to mind," Roy grumbled sarcastically.

"Because she hates the military," Wolfwood said from the door, lighting up a cigarette. "Everything and anything to do with it."

"Edward is in the military," Roy pointed out to Al.

"I don't see him wearing a uniform," Shadow stated with a grin. "And he's already short enough as it is."

"WHAT?!" Ed snarled, jumping at Shadow. "Who did you say is as small as a speck of-"

"Calm down, Edward," Shadow grinned. "I was just playing."

"Shadow, it's almost the start of theChristmas holiday," Saber pointed out, sympathizing with the chibi alchemist. "Let me turn him back, just for a little while at least."

"Fine, fine, but I'm warning you, Mustang, don't get in my way. I actually have to pass this test."

"Why don't you go home for the holidays?" Ryou asked curiously. "Your twin is going home, and it would probably be quieter there."

"You've never met my family. I have over twenty-five people in immediate family alone. All of them gathered under one roof trying to bake, grab at food, talk, and open gifts at the same time? No, thank you. It's quieter here. At least here I can go to an upstairs room, shut the door and lock it."

"Ah the joys of a large family," Saber sighed, firing the chibi ray at Mustang so he returned to his full size.

"What did you tell your family?" Al inquired.

"That I had to study for my test and I needed quiet so I was staying at school for the holidays," Shadow answered.

"What did you tell your family, Saber?" Ed asked.

"That she had a really bad case of the flu and shouldn't come home because it would get the new baby sick," Shadow answered for the blonde.

"How do you know what her excuse was?" Ed demanded.

"Because I'm the one who told her parents," Shadow stated.

"But why-"

"More often then not Saber couldn't tell a lie to save her soul," Shadow said affectionately, grinning at her friend. "I, on the other hand, can lie, cover up, cheat, and decieve with little to no remorse what so ever."

"And you say you wouldn't survive in the military," Roy commented with a smirk.

Shadow tossed a pillow at him, covering herself up with a blanket from the couch. "I never said I couldn't survive in the military, Colonel. I just said I despised it." And with that she returned to her books. Roy walked to the door, grabbing his hat and coat as he left.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked, looking at his commanding officer.

"Out." The door shut and Ed sighed.

"What was that all about?" Vash wondered.

"He's stretching his legs," Shadow answered. "Having him trapped here as a chibi apparently has apparently affected his brain."

"No, he's always like that," Ed stated.

"Speaking of affecting the mind, where's Alucard and Locke?" Saber asked. "I haven't seen either of them since last night."

"They're doing a little father-son bonding."

"Bowling?"

Shadow face-vaulted at the thought of either Alucard or Locke bowling. "Hunting."

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Rem shouted running inside, Nicholas and Jayde right behind her.

"What's up?" Saber asked.

"Brannet got his tongue stuck to the pole outside!" Jayde exclaimed.

"Yeah, some kid from next door dared him to do it!" Nicholas added. "It's so cool!"

"Oh, poor Brannet!" Saber cried, running out the door.

Everyone else turned to look at Shadow, who hadn't moved from her spot on the floor. She looked up, pushing her bangs back from her face.

"What?" she asked. "He's not my kid!" She saw the looks everyone was giving her and sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll go help. Al, would you get me a glass of hot water? As hot as you can make it, please?"

Al nodded and turned the hot water on, hunting for a glass while Shadow donned her boots. "Here you go."

Shadow took the water and plodded outside, no coat or anything, and walked over to the crowd gathered around the pole. "All right people, out of my way. Brannet, hold still." She carefully poured the cooling water on the place where the little boy's tongue and the pole met, and with a breath of steam, he was free!

"Mom!" he cried, burying his face into Saber's shoulder.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" Shadow scolded the child who'd dared the little half-alien boy. "He could have really gotten hurt from that! I ought to tell your mother-"

"No!" the kid cried out, his face crumpling into tears. "Please don't! She'll ground me and- and-"

Shadow softened her look, sighing. "Alright, I won't say anything, but you owe Brannet an apology."

"I'm sorry," the neighbor boy apologized softly.

"Good. Now don't let me catch you daring anyone to stick their tongue to poles or anything else again, or next time I will tell your mother." The boy nodded.

"You okay?" Saber asked Brannet. The little boy nodded, wiping away his tears.

He stepped back from his mother, then tagged the neighbor boy on the shoulder shouting, "You're it!" That started the kids into a game of snowball tag, and Shadow hurried back inside, leaving Saber to play with the kids.

"Brrr, its chilly out," Shadow stated, shutting the door behind her. After removing her boots she went to the kitchen, finishing the unpacking of the grocceries. "Ah, got to love Christmas... though I might have Kos-mos cook the ham..."

"Eh... if you don't mind my asking," Al began, "but what is Christmas?"

"It's a holiday that we celebrate," Shadow answered, "that symbolizes the birth of Christ - the son of God born as a man to save us all. It's also a time when families get together and exchange gifts and stuff themselves on good food."

"It sounds wonderful," Al replied.

"It is," Shadow said, turning to put something in the cupboard, oblivious the the fact the Roy Mustang was sneaking up behind her with a small pile of snow in his hand. He'd silenced Ed and Al with a sharp glance, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Shadow let out a loud screech as the snow slid down her back, dripping onto the linoleum floor. "Roy Mustang!" she shouted, glaring at the alchemist. "I'm so going to kick your ass!" She made to punch him, but the man easily dodged the hit, moving aside so that she passed him. "Hold still!" She scooped the snow up off of the floor and threw it at the black haired man, but he simply melted it with the snap of his fingers. "That's cheating!"

"You never laid down any rules of engagement," Roy countered with a smirk. "And you can consider that mild punishment for trapping me in the form of a child."

Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so you want to engage in a battle, do you?"

"Uh-oh," Ryou said. "She's got the look again."

"I challenge you to a game of intelligence, Roy Mustang," Shadow started.

"I guess he's out," Kish snickered, hovering near the ceiling.

"What sort of game?" Roy inquired.

Shadow retreated to her room, returning with a rectangular box marked 'Risk'. "The idea is to conquer the world. If you can take over the entire board, then I'll... I dunno, you can choose your terms. If I win... if I win you have to wear a dress for an entire day, in public."

"A dress?" Roy demanded.

"A dress?!" the Elric brothers echoed.

"Hey, what's going on?" Saber asked as she and the kids trooped inside. Ed and Al quickly filled them in on the details.

"Are you going to take the bet?" Cecile asked excitedly.

"Yeah are you?" Jayde chimed in.

"Of course," Roy stated, joining Shadow at the table as she set up the board game. "It's a test of military strategy. It's not that difficult."

"Except he's not playing someone who follows the rules of the military," Ed muttered to Al.

Almost an hour later Shadow had nearly three-fourths of the board covered with green pieces while Roy's black pieces sat there, looking as though he would be defeated. Roy looked at the board with a musing expression, trying to figure out what Shadow was going to do next. The girl moved with such randomosity that it was almost impossible to predict a pattern of any type. He noticed something, a smile touching his lips. With the roll of the dice, he made his attack... and wiped out almost all of Shadow's forces within five minutes.

"Blasted little bastard," Shadow was cursing under her breath, trying to regain what land she had lost. But Roy had cut her army in half, and within a half an hour she'd lost the last of her men. "Ah, I hate to admit it, but that was a good game. It's been a while since I've found someone who's worth playing against."

"So... what do you have to do?" Liam wondered.

"You never did name your terms," Shadow pointed out.

The smirk on Roy's lips grew a little. "We'll keep it at an I.O.U. for now."

"Bastard..." Shadow grumbled as the military man walked away. She let out her anger with a heavy sigh. "Alright, now that that's settled, time to get back to my studying..."

"It's a good thing Alucard isn't here," Saber noted.

"Why?" Ed asked the blonde.

"Because if he'd seen that smirk he'd have probably ripped the colonel's throat out."

* * *

Saber sat in her last class of the day, wishing that the holiday break had started already, and wishing even more that she wasn't in the evening class. With Forka out of the way, and clean-up of the Pokemon nearly complete, both girls had decided that a little break wasn't such a bad idea. 'Not that Shadow is resting' Saber thought to herself, worried about her silver haired friend. But then, she was worrying too much herself, as Ed had pointed out. The thought made her blush a little. She liked Ed a lot, and finally there was someone who was the same height as she was! And they would all be able to spend nearly a month together without any classes or evil pokemon otaku getting in the way.

"I'm back!" Saber called, entering the apartment to find it dark and strangely quiet. She flipped the light on, illuminating the eveing air. "Hello?" she called out cautiously.

"Hi Mom!" Jayde called from upstairs.

"Where is everyone?" Saber asked, entering her future daughter's room.

"The guys took all of the other kids to the movies and Uncle Ed and Al are helping Uncle Ryou track down Uncle Xellos."

"He got bored again?"

"Yep."

"So... where's Shadow?" Saber inquired.

"The colonel named his terms for winning after you went to class today," Jayde explained. "They're out on a date. Aunt Shadow said they'd probably be out late so not to wait up."

"He's taking her out on a date?" Saber asked incredulously. Jayde nodded. "Did Edward know about this?!"

"Yeah, why?"

Saber wasn't sure how to explain to her future daughter about Colonel Mustang's reputation of being something of a womanizer. She just hoped that Shadow would be all right.

* * *

Shadow sat in her seat next to Roy in the theatre, trying to pay attention to what was going on in the ballet, but all she could think about was how she wished Saber was with her and how much of a geek she felt like. 'Saber and I would be making fun of this if she was here...' Shadow thought. Not that Shadow hated the ballet. She loved it, and always had loved it. The Nutcracker just wasn't her preference in shows. She was more a Midsummer Night's Dream sort of girl. It didn't help that she'd been forced into a dress for the event either.

She was wearing a knee length green evening gown, courtesy of having to own something nice for her choir competition, and black heeled shoes which added almost an inch to her natural, already increased height. Her silver hair was swept up into an elegant french twist, the tones of her hair colour matching the silver collar and bracelets that never really left her body. Roy sat next to her in his military uniform, watching the performance with rapt attention.

The date had been his idea, his term for winning, and it almost seemed to Shadow that he'd been planning this for a while. But Shadow'd went along with it. 'What could happen at the ballet or dinner?' she'd thought.

"That was an interesting show," Roy commented as the pair ate supper at a nice restraunt. "I was rather fond of the second act."

"I prefer Shakespere's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' myself," Shadow replied, voicing what she'd thought in the theatre. A draft from somewhere in the restraunt blew through the dining room, extinguishing the small candles that sat at the tables. With a touch of his hand the candle at their table rekindled. Shadow gave him an unimpressed look.

"If you're trying to impress me, Colonel, you might want to try something else," Shadow said cooly. "Any goober with matches can start a fire." She licked her fingers and pinched the wick, snuffing the little light out. "And my job is to put it out."

"So you're unimpressed by fire," Roy stated smoothly. "What then, would it take to impress you?"

"Leave the military."

Roy chuckled, sipping his wine.

"Hey, you asked," Shadow grinned, leaning back.

"Anything else?" Roy inquired coyly.

"What, you actually need a list?"

"No," Roy said, leaning forward and reaching out and relighting the candle. "But it does make the task of trying to charm you a bit more interesting."

* * *

"You were out late last night," Saber teased a just waking Shadow, grinning slyly. "Care to spill the events of the night or is that something small children shouldn't hear?"

"You must be on drugs," Shadow cracked, sitting up, her hair falling over her shoulders. She'd fallen asleep on the couch, her study text lying on top of her. She was still wearing her dress from the night out. Roy lay alseep sitting in one of the chairs. A chess board sat on the table, the pieces left where they'd been when Shadow had beaten the flame alchemist for the fifth time.

"So how was the date?" Saber pressed as Shadow stood up and stretched.

"It was nice."

"Nice?" Saber repeated. "That's a little vague, Shadow."

"What do you want to know?" Shadow asked, heating up some water for coffee. "We went to see the Nutcracker, which by the way, so needs to be MSTed. We went out to supper at a nice restaraunt, which was fairly spiffy considering that I looked like a Christmas tree covered in tinsel-"

"You did not. Judging from the way you look now, you probably looked gorgeous last night," Saber said pointedly. "What else did you do?"

"We drove around and looked at Christmas lights..." Shadow said, her sentence trailing off as if she was remember something else, but not sharing it with Saber. "... we got lost."

"You got lost?" Saber asked, stifling the urge to burst into laughter.

"Hey, I'm not that good with directions at night and in the city!" Shadow defended. "But it was nice."

"It was nice," Saber repeated with a grin, as if she suspected something.

"What is that look for?" Shadow demanded.

"No-othing," Saber chirped, walking away with a grin on her face.

"What are you thinking?" Shadow demanded, chasing Saber with an empty coffee cup.

"Not a thing," Saber said knowingly. "So... how long were you lost?"

"What's it to you?" Shadow asked, walking back to the stove, filling her cup with hot water and instant coffee, adding a bit of sugar and cream.

"Alucard's gonna be jealous," Saber teased.

"Oh bite me."

"Well, not you, but he might just have to bite Roy."

Shadow downed most of the coffee in one gulp, then fixed a second cup, as well as a cup for Roy. "Are the kids up?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, right," Saber giggled. "They aren't early risers."

"Neither are you," Shadow pointed out, setting the black coffee in front of Roy who was just waking up. "Why are you up so early?"

"To bug you and see what happened last night," Saber grinned. "Why are you up so early?"

"Because I have to get ready for my exam."

"What ever happened to holiday break?"

"I'll start break tonight after my test is finished. Right now I have to hop in the shower and head into town. So I'll see you in a little bit, okay?"

"Good luck," Saber called as Shadow jogged up the stairs. The blonde then rounded on Mustang, who was sipping the hot coffee. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she watched him. "If you hurt her, in any way, I will remove your reason for wanting to make all the woman in the military to wear miniskirts. Do I make myself clear?"

"...Crystal."

* * *

"How was the exam?" Saber asked as Shadow walked back into the apartment and dropped her purse onto the floor as she slid out of her low black heels.

"I want to die," Shadow moaned, flopping onto the couch, making sure that none of the men could see anything under her skirt. She had dressed in a business like outfit, having felt the need to look somewhat professional.

"Was it that bad?" Saber wondered.

"The English, no. The math, yes. Why students in the third grade need to know algebra is beyond me! I remember when we just learned fractions in the third grade! And if I don't pass then I can't become a teacher and if I can't become a teacher then-"

"Hey, snap out of it!" Saber ordered, giving her silver haired friend a shake. "You're not supposed to be the one who freaks out about these sort of things, remember?"

"I know, but the exam was so terrible and-"

"You did well," Al interrupted, smiling supportively. "I'm sure of it."

"Thanks."

"I have prepared lunch, Miss Saber," Kos-mos reported from the kitchen.

"Great!" Saber exclaimed. "Would you collect the kids?"

"Yes, Miss Saber."

"Hey Shadow," Gene said with a cat-like grin. "Need a back rub?"

"Not from you," Shadow retorted.

"Hey, I know what will cheer you up," Saber said.

"Chocolate?"

"Okay... aside from that."

"What?" Shadow asked. "After chocolate everything else is second rate."

"Well, we do have to go holiday shopping," Saber grinned. "And there's nothing like shopping to cheer a person up."

"Did I mention I hate shopping?" Shadow asked with a lopsided grin.

"Too bad, you're going. You are not going to sit around mope for the next three weeks while you wait for the results to come back!"

"The results take that long to come back?" Roy inquired.

"Sometimes longer, depending on how many students take the test at any given time," Shadow explained. "Though it's a lot like your alchemy exam in that only one or two pass at any given time." She covered her face with a pillow. "I'm doomed."

"You're not doomed!" Saber protested. "Hey Spike, you wanna babysit again?"

"NO!" the green haired bounty hunter shouted.

"Just checking," Saber grinned. Shadow giggled from under the pillow.

"Just leave them here," Wolfwood said. "We can handle them."

"You were planning to go shopping too, weren't you?" Shadow accused good-naturedly.

"I'll confess when you confess."

"I don't have any sins to confess," Shadow said in a superior tone, sitting up.

"Everyone has sins to confess," Wolfwood grinned.

"Put the confessional anywhere near my head and I'll have Roy torch it." She stood up and left the room, and when she returned she was wearing jeans and a tailored shirt.

"Sure you don't want to make any confessions?" Wolfwood asked with a wink.

"I don't believe in confessing to a priest; sorry love." Arm and arm she and Saber stolled out the door, randomly singing a Monty Python song.

"Are they always like that?" Ed wondered.

Gene, Vash, Wolfwood, Ryou, and Kish all answered at the same time. "Yes."

* * *

"What do you think I should get Vash?" Saber asked, looking at the different shop windows.

"Get him a big pin shaped like a doughnut," Shadow suggested.

"As much as he'd like that... no."

"You know that he'll love anything you get him," Shadow stated, looking at a shop that had tons of baby toys.

"Thinking of the near future?" Saber asked slyly.

Shadow mimed a blow at the blonde cat girl. "What are you implyng? I do have nieces and a nephew you know!" She grinned. "What are you going to get for Ed?"

"I don't know... what do you get for an alchemist?"

"I know what I'm getting Roy."

"What?" Saber asked, giving Shadow a sidelong glance.

"I'm gonna get him a lighter. One of those really nice ones."

"...he's a flame alchemist. What would he need a lighter for?"

"... never mind."

"What are you going to get for Alucard?" Saber inquired.

"I dunno. What do you get for a vampire?"

"You could always let him have some of your blood," Saber suggested.

"... who knows. Maybe." Shadow grinned. "We should get Al a kitten!"

"Yeah!" Saber agreed. "... but you're allergic to cats."

"I'm allergic to dogs and we have one of those," Shadow shrugged. "I have my shots. He'd love it."

"Edward would kill us."

"We'll get Ed a fish."

"A fish?" Saber repeated, looking at her friend as if she was on drugs.

"Yeah, a beta. Then he couldn't kill us for getting Al a cat because he'd be too busy trying to save his fish."

"That... is just wrong in so many ways."

"You know you love the idea."

"...let's go shopping for the kids."

* * *

"So what did you get?" Rem asked as her siblings and Shadow's kids tried to peek into the few random bags the girls had carried in.

"Nothing for you," Shadow stated.

"Su-ure," Liam said.

"What's in the bag?" Genesis asked, trying to look inside.

"Nothing for you."

"... they're Christmas decorations," the girl reported, slightly confused. "What do we need decorations for? We don't have a tree."

"Sure we do," Saber grinned. "We just need some of the guys to bring it in."

"Not a problem," Vash said, saluting to the women, Kish following him. The two were still at it, trying to prove which one was better.

"Ahh. Pine, one of the few trees I'm not allergic to," Shadow asked to no one in general.

"By the way, I took the syrum out of the fridge for you," Ryou said.

"Thank you, Ryou," Shadow replied, grabbing two syringes, drawing the syrum out of the bottles.

Ed cringed, his eyes clamped shut as Shadow injected herself, once in each arm. "I still don't see how you can do that every week!"

"I think it's brave," Al said.

"Not really. Pin-pricks are the lesser of two evils if you think about it." She grinned at Ed. "And it's not as bad as you think. Sub-q's are barely noticeable!"

"Nothing you say can convince me," Ed shuddered.

"You need to grow up, Fullmetal," Roy commented. Ed stuck his tongue out at the Flame alchemist as soon as Roy's back was turned.

"And people say I'm immature," Saber grinned, earning a blush from Ed.

"The tree is up!" Kish announced proudly, drawing attention to a tree that was standing in the corner, slightly lopsided.

"It's crooked," Cecile said, walking into the livingroom, trailed by the rest of her siblings and cousins.

"It is not!" Kish argued.

"No, she's right, it's crooked," Shadow said, agreeing with her future daughter.

"Shadow, you aren't exactly the best person to be judging, you know," Saber pointed out lightly.

"Good point."

"It does look like it's leaning to the left," Ed stated. Kish and Vash sweatdropped, working on trying to straighten the tree.

"Wait, that's perfect!" Saber exclaimed. "Now we can decorate it!"

"All right!" Brannet and Nicky exclaimed.

"Can I put the star on top?" Genesis asked.

"Sure," Shadow agreed, pulling lights out of one of the bags. "...this is going to be interesting."

* * *

An hour later the lights were finally strung through the branches, setting the tree a-glow with blue, red, green, and yellow light. The kids were busy putting small decorations on while the adults helped every now and then. All of them, that is, except Roy, who just watched all of them work around each other.

"What, you're not going to join in the festivities?" Shadow asked.

"I don't take part in religious ceremonies," Roy stated.

"Too bad. Get off your ass and put some decorations on the tree." Ed snickered as Roy was pulled off of the couch and into the holiday fun. Shadow forced a green christmas bulb into Roy's hand and grinned. "Now put it on the tree and smile."

"Why do I-"

"Just go along with it," Shadow ordered. "It's not like it's that hard." She grinned at him and winked, walking back over to one of the bags. She pulled some more decorations out and distributed them among the kids. Soon the tree was covered with coloured glass bulbs and decorations in other christmas related shapes, reflecting brightly with lights.

"Wow!" Al exclaimed, his eyes shining like the tree. "It's so beautiful!"

"Yeah!" Ed agreed.

"It does look really nice," Wolfwood admitted.

"You guys did a great job," Vash commended of the youngsters, who were admiring their handiwork.

"It's not done yet!" Genesis shouted, holding a crystalline and gold star. "I want to put it on!"

"Hang on, then," Shadow stated, pulling the little girl onto her shoulder. "Can you reach it?"

"Yes." Genesis stretched out, ignoring the strain she was putting on her future mother. "There!"

"Now we just have to keep the dog from tearing it down," Saber said with a grin.

"At least dogs don't climb trees," Shadow pointed out.

"Pippin wouldn't do that!" Brannet cried out. "He's a good dog!"

"And Colonel Mustang has been training him too," Nicholas pointed out.

"So that's what you've been doing," Ed stated.

"We're home!" a male voice called from the front door. Locke walked in, while Alucard simply apparated. "Wow, that looks really nice," the older boy commented, looking at the tree.

"How was hunting?" Shadow asked Alucard. Alucard paid little attention to the silver haired girl, for once, and was instead glaring at Roy, who glared right back. "Alucard?"

"What's wrong with dad?" Genesis asked, looking up at her older brother.

"Jealousy issue?" Liam suggested.

"He hasn't acted like that with Ryou or Mr. Wolfwood," Genesis replied. "What'd this guy do that's any different?

"Don't mind them," Shadow said quickly, stepping between the men before a fight erupted in the living room. "Now, you two behave, or else I'm going to have to sit you in separate corners like children."

"...he started it," Mustang snorted, but did as she asked, going back to a chair to sit. Alcuard's eyes turned to red slits, but he did not say a word, instead apparating away to where Locke was standing. The shorter young man gave his dad a look as though he understood something, but did not comment in any way.

* * *

Pippin bounded into the room, going around to where the people were sitting until he finally settled on little Brannet, who had fun wrestling with the puppy until he eventually started to yawn with exhaustion. Kish smiled, looking at the little tyke as Saberpilot picked him up and started to carry him towards the room that he and her other future son Nicholas shared. As she was walking up the stairs, she felt a pressure at her waist, then felt the room around her move. A few seconds later, she was in the boy's room.

"Kish?" she asked as she laid the child into his bed and tucked him in, kissing him on the forehead gently before turning around.

The alien smiled at Saber, winking at her. "You're good to him and the other kids."

"Well, they're kids," Saber admitted, smiling. "You have to be good to them. Besides," she said, her cheeks slightly turning red and her cat ears and tail popping up, "they're good kids. And good kids deserve to be treated, well... well."

Kish smiled, then floated gently to her side and kissed her on the cheek, causing her face to turn a deep crimson. When the blonde went to yell at him, she realized that he'd disappeared. Saber shook her head and headed downstairs, only to find that the rest of the youngsters were also nodding off. Liam was already heading upstairs, Genesis nearly asleep. Cecile was helping little Nicky upstairs. Rem, Nicholas, Locke, and Jayde were the only children who looked nowhere near ready to go to sleep.

"What took you so long?" Shadow asked with a raised eyebrow, smiling as she handed Saber a cup of cocoa. Saber turned slightly pink, and Shadow noticed that both Edward and Vash's expressions turned to ones of slight jealousy.

"N-nothing," Saber fibbed, sitting down and joining the others. Pippin jumped into her lap, and the girl petted the dog absentmindedly, her cat tail curling around him.

"Mom?" Locke asked his future mother. Shadow-chan smiled. "Yes?"

"Do you- I mean, do you think that you and I- I mean, you and I and Aunt Saber- could go shopping tomorrow? I mean, I want to get the kids a few things, and-"

"We need to do some shopping, too!" Rem cheerfully said. "I still have the money that I took with me whenever I got here, and I'd like to get everyone some presents-"

Mustang looked as though the entire situation bored him, and was falling asleep according to his interest level. His chest was rising and falling as he slept.

"I really don't want to go shopping AGAIN," Shadow-chan complained. Gene and Spike looked at each other and smiled.

"Well, we were thinking, and it wouldn't be too much for us to take the kids out," Gene suggested. "I mean, you guys have been taking care of them pretty much on your own lately, and, well... it'd just give you guys a break."

"...why do I feel as though there's something else behind this plan?" Shadow-chan asked, raising an eyebrow, then sighing. She smiled. "Well, nevermind. If you guys don't mind-"

"Not at all," Spike grinned. "Consider it- your bounty fee," he winked, striding out of the room. Shadow-chan raised an eyebrow.

"Doesn't he absolutely hate kids?"

Saber shrugged her shoulders. "I thought so, but- I guess he's feeling generous. The holidays can do that to people, you know?" She gave a yawn, then stood up, Pippin leaping off her lap. "Well, I'm heading to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Good night," Nicholas cheerfully waved to the girl, and the rest of them sat up and talked for a while before heading up (or down, respectively) to their bedrooms for the night. Alucard and Mustang gave each other passing sneering glances before they parted ways for the night, Alucard to the streets and Mustang to sleep (Alucard having to resist the urge to kill the man outright for the look he'd given Shadow as the two headed off for sleep).

Because everyone else had left, no one but Pippin noticed the bright blue light that formed in the middle of the living room. When the light cleared, a set of blue eyes looked around, then grinned widely.

"Well, they'll be surprised. Now for some food-" the person grinned, and set towards the kitchen.

* * *

Gene and Spike kept good on their promise to take the kids shopping the next day, leaving Saberpilot, Shadow, and the rest of the men alone in the house. Because of the absence, it occurred to the silver-haired girl that today would be an excellent time to begin Christmas cooking.

"I need more flour... Xellos!"

"Yes?" The slightly psychotic spellcaster popped his head into the kitchen.

"Xellos, have you been taking some of my flour?"

The violet-haired man shook his head. "No... although, now that you mention it, flour would be good if I decided to-"

"Nevermind that I asked. Alucard? Ryou? Did you guys take any flour?"

"No. What would I need it for?" the vampire asked, as Ryou shook his head in a 'no'. Shadow-chan's brow furrowed.

"That's odd," Shadow-chan complained. "I could have sworn I had a whole bunch of flour... unless someone stuck it in the fridge by mistake-" she started, then opened the fridgerator, only to see a large cake sitting in the middle of the shelf. Shadow's jaw dropped.

"Um... did anyone make a cake?"

"CAKE?!? Where?" Saber asked, her super sensitive cat ears turning about as though she was a meercat.

"In... the fridge," Shadow-chan pointed. The rest of the men, the Elrics, and Kish showed up in the kitchen, worried about the commotion the girls were making. Ed blinked, then raised an eyebrow towards Shadow.

"You were worried because there was a cake in the fridge?"

"Well, I didn't make it!" Shadow-chan exclaimed. She placed her hands on her hips. "And I know Saber didn't, because she can't make good cakes like that!"

"HEY!" The blonde growled. "Just because I made it, doesn't mean it's not good!"

"Then you made it?" Al asked.

"No..."

"...I don't like this," Shadow-chan mused. She brooded over the cake for another moment before shaking her head and returning to her baking. "Oh well. It's another cake we don't have to worry about."

* * *

In the days that followed, more random baked goods showed up in the kitchen, up until Christmas Eve, when an entire meal's worth of food was laid out on the table sometime in the mid-afternoon- enough food for the amount of people that were living in the house. Saberpilot had blinked when she'd seen it.

"Um..." Shadow-chan gaped whenever she'd walked into the dining room. "Saber... anyone...? Do any of you happen to cook in your sleep?"

"No..." Saberpilot answered, and the rest of the males present shook their heads.

Shadow-chan went and checked the cupboards, her mouth starting to foam. Ryou touched her shoulder, concerned.

"Shadow, what's...?"

"ALL THE FOOD I WAS GOING TO PREPARE TONIGHT- IT'S ALL GONE!!!!" Shadow-chan growled.

"Not quite," Edward stated, looking at the food in front of them with eyebrows raised. "Shadow, you had said you were going to make some doughnuts, some cookies, brownies, muffins, and sweet-breads- well, they're all right here," he pointed out. Shadow-chan turned and saw the items, then shook her head.

"I still don't understand what's going on," Shadow-chan mused. Pippin barked as he ran around the table, until Mustang stopped the puppy with a hand gesture, upon which the little dog sat on the floor. "And I have to say, I don't like the idea of someone else messing around in my kitchen."

"Well... you don't have to do all the work now," Liam pointed out to his mom. He then saw something on the end of the table, his eyes going wide. "Wow."

"What?" Genesis asked, trying to push her brothers out of the way to see, making her recieve a shock from her collar.

"It's... blood," Locke said, startled. He pulled what looked like a medical bag filled with blood from an ice-filled dish at the bottom of the table. Upon reading the label, his eyes went wide. "...dad's going to go nuts. This is Type O blood!"

"Type O?" Alucard suddenly appeared upon the scene, sniffing the air as his hellhound form might have. He looked at the plastic bag that his future son held and his eyes became wide behind his red glasses. "...this is most... delightful."

"Pippin, do you know who's doing this?" Shadow asked the little pup, who barked in response. "Find him!" The dog looked at her, tilting its head. "Come on, Pippin, find who did it!" Pippen just growled at her, yipped, and laid his head down at Roy's feet. "... dumb dog."

"Well, you do ignore him," Cecile pointed out. "So of course he isn't going to respond to a command from you."

"Well, no point in letting good food go to waste!" Ed exclaimed, diving for the food. Shadow caught him by the collar of his shirt, holding him back from the collar. "...huh?"

"Not until after church," Shadow admonished.

"It's a tradition in our families," Saber explained.

"Church?" Al asked.

"We're alchemists," Ed argued at Shadow. "Alchemy and religion doesn't mix. Religion is too vague to be proveable and it makes people do things that make no sense. And-"

"And," Shadow cut in, giving him a level stare. "You. Will. Go." Ed gulped, nodded, and backed off. "Good. All right, kids, go up and get ready... and try to put on something that makes you presentable. Genesis, that includes you."

"Do I have to wear the collar?" Genesis asked, pulling at the device.

"If you come back down here looking and acting like a young lady instead of a little monster, I'll take it off."

"Is this really necessary?" Roy asked, as if he'd rather be doing something else.

Shadow looked at him and said, "well, if you don't WANT to go, I guess I can't force you." She turned away and sighed heavily, sniffling. "I just figured that we could all go together since its a family tradition..."

"Good job, you've made her feel bad," Ryou snarled.

"Have you any heart?" Wolfwood added, falling for the silver haired girl's act, or at least appearing to. "She just wants to do something that reminds her of what she's missing from home." Roy's face had taken on a look of slight discomfort as the rest of the men rounded on him. He looked away for a moment before letting out a sigh of his own.

"Fine, I'll go."

"Excellent," Shadow chirped, returning to her normal mood.

"Pippin," Saber said, looking down at the little dog. "Guard the house."

"Do you really think that little creature understands you?" Kish asked.

"Sure he does!" Saber exclaimed. "He understands when I tell him to guard. He listens to me."

"Then tell him to stop eating my shoes," Shadow said.

Saber giggled. "That's his way of telling you to stop locking him out of your room."

"Do we look presentable?" Rem asked as she and her twin brother walked out into the living room. Nicholas was wearing a pair of black slacks and a red dress shirt, and Rem was wearing a dark green skirt and white dress shirt.

"You look lovely!" Saber exclaimed, smiling.

"What about me, mommy?" Brannet asked. He was wearing an outfit very similar to Nicholas'. Jayde stood behind her little brother wearing a black skirt and a white shirt.

"You all look nice."

"Do we look nice?" Shadow's kids had all shown up wearing nice outfits in red, green, and white. Even Genesis looked like a little angel in her white church dress.

"Very nice," Shadow commended, removing the electric collar from her youngest daughter's neck. Saber had grabbed the chibi ray, getting ready to fire it at all the men, whose expressions ranged from stunned to outraged.

"We'd never fit you all in the car otherwise," Saber rationalized. "You did clear the back of the car out, didn't you, Shadow?"

"Of course I did," Shadow stated, as if she's was hurt that she had to be asked. "The only thing left inside is a trauma bag. But lets get them outside first. The snow is getting a bit deep and we don't want them drenched and chilled."

"Right."

Saber and Ed were about to walk out the door at the same time when a chorus of voices belonging to the kids shouted out: "MISTLETOE!" Saber and Ed paled, looking up at the tiny plant that was hanging from the ceiling.

"W-what's that mean?" Ed asked, pointing to the little plant.

"It means you have to kiss her!" Brannet shouted out.

"WHAT?!" both blondes yelped, Saber's cat ears and tail appearing.

"It's tradition," Shadow said in a sing-song voice.

"If I'd known that I'd have made sure it was me at the door with her," Kish growled. Vash glared at the little alien and muttered something under his breath.

"Come on you two!" Nicholas teased.

Ed and Saber, both blushing scarlet, pecked each other on the lips.

"Oh that was lame you two," Shadow stated.

"Well you try and kiss someone in front of an audience!" Ed shouted.

"The rest of you, outside. We're going to be late."

Everyone else filed out side in a single file line, not wanting to get caught under the mistltoe... until Locke and Jayde stepped through at the same time by accident. "MISTLETOE!" Genesis, Brannet, and Nicky shouted out together.

"Awww man..." Locke said, pretending to be annoyed, despite the fact that he, like Jayde, was blushing.

"Tradition," Jayde giggle softly, pecking Locke on the lips before running out into the snow.

"Yeah... tradition."

"Anyone else planning on getting caught," Shadow asked, standing in the doorway. She took a head count, to make sure everyone else was outside before locking the door, when she noticed they were one person short. "Where'd Roy go?"

"I'm right here," Roy stated, walking up to the door, his hat in his gloved hands. He moved to pass Shadow and step outside when the kids shouted out, once more. The loud shouts stopped both adults in their tracks, and the two paled just slightly.

"Now, we're going to be late-" Shadow tried.

"It's tradition, Aunt Shadow," Rem grinned.

"Yeah, Mom, it is tradition," Cecile agreed.

"You said so yourself," Liam added.

Ryou's arms were crossed, but he was smiling anyways. Wolfwood was also smirking, though he looked a bit envious. Alucard looked downright outraged as Shadow looked up at Roy and shrugged.

"It is tradition," she said weakly, blushing.

"One that I could come to enjoy," Roy breathed, sweeping Shadow into a kiss that made most of the children go:

"Eeeewwww."

"Now Alucard, calm down!" Saber called weakly, trying to calm the agitated vampire. "It's just a holiday tradition!"

"You and that boy did not make such an effort to complete the tradition," Alucard snarled.

"Who are you calling a kid?!" Ed demanded.

"We're going to be late," Wolfwood said, grinning at the couple who were still standing at the door.

"Don't make me chibify the both of you," Saber threatened.

"We're coming, we're coming," Shadow grinned, kissing Alucard as she passed the vampire. "Settle down, Alu-san."

"Alright, time to go," Saber grinned, chibifying all of the adults before they piled into the car.

"Everyone in?" Shadow asked as she placed the key in the ignition, pulling out of the driveway.

* * *

They made it to the church, just in time for the service. Making sure no one was around, Saber returned the men to normal size before everyone entered the church.

Saber watched the men watch the service, each with a varying degree. Vash and Wolfwood were paying an extreme amount of attention to the service while Kish seemed to border between interest and confusion. Al looked like he was really enjoying the story that the pastor was telling. Ed looked bored, leaning his head in his hand, but he was trying to pay attention. Gene just looked downright bored, as did Xellos, but both were awake. That much couldn't be said for Roy, who was leaning back in the pew with his arms crossed and his eyes closed. Alucard was somewhere in the back of the church, his eyes glancing from left to right in what appeared to be nearly undetectible nervousness.

"What's that?" Vash whispered to Wolfwood. The Gunsmoke natives were paying attention; the Stampede especially entranced by the entirety of the church ceremony. He'd constantly kept asking his preacher friend questions through the service, curious about its messages and purpose.

"That's an advent wreath," Wolfwood explained for what seemed the bajillionth time. "It counts down the four weeks before Christmas. Each week another candle is lit."

"Ah," Vash responded, growing silent as he watched. "What about the fifth one in the middle?"

"That one gets lit tomorrow," Wolfwood explained.

Locke, Jade, Liam, Rem, Cecile, and Nicholas were all watching the events with attentive expressions, although it seemed that Liam appeared a bit bored by the ceremonies, no matter how interested he tried to appear.

Throughout the service, Saberpilot seemed to be concentrating on remaining serene, so as to not let her cat ears and tail pop out and scare the congregation. Shadow-chan just leaned back into the pew and watched the preacher go through the entire sermon with a smile on her face.

_Thank God for Christmas. And thank God also that the priest isn't one who makes a habit of keeping long swords.

* * *

_

Jayde carried her little brother in her arms as they went upstairs after the ceremony, her expression one of tenderness towards the little tyke. Brannet had fallen asleep on the car ride home. Wolfwood had already carried Nicky up the stairs, the child having fallen asleep earlier in church. After she finished laying her kid brother into his bed and tucking him in, she teleported down the stairs to where everyone else was now digging into the feast from earlier.

And it appeared that her future mother had already found the doughnuts.

Settling in, Jayde joined Locke, Rem, and Nicholas on the floor, the other kids already having started in a game of Poker- Liam complaining because his older brother wouldn't let him play. Kish had joined in the game as well, although it appeared he still didn't understand the basics of the 'stupid human game'.

Genesis was yawning as she told her father about having gone up and having been blessed by the priest... much to her father's dismay. Shadow-chan watched and grinnedas the child wrapped her future father around her tiny finger between wide yawns for air. The college student busied herself with a cup of coffee as she talked between both Ryou and Edward on the application of alchemy in the "modern" world.

Vash, Gene, Wolfwood, and Spike were already at the eggnog, holding each other to exclusive bets as to whom could hold the most of the creamy liquid. Already the bounty hunter and outlaw were spinning off from the competition, holding instead a competition between each other to see who could drink the most the quickest... without puking. Needless to say, Al had been forethoughtful of this need, and had already brought in a wastecan for their use.

Roy was being anti-social, having left the group and gone up to the room he and the Elrics were using while staying at the college students' dwelling. Shadow-chan had complained, but the Colonel had ignored her, saying that it was best for everyone.

Saberpilot, after finding her doughnut stash, was now apparently missing from the rest of the group, but no one seemed to notice.

* * *

The cat-girl had changed out of her evening dress (which she thanked God had NOT ripped during the service) and back into some khaki slacks and a t-shirt, then put on her winter coat and headed outside for some fresh air.

The night wind was rather gentle for a Christmas Eve, the snow falling softly onto the ground. With a quick clothing adjustment, Saber breathed steam out in relief as her cat tail swished openly in the cold air. Everyone had seemed to have fun... of sorts, at the church ceremony. She was afraid, however, of having a flame alchemist in the house- especially one who was full grown with all his powers back to normal. It especially worried her when it had been apparent that both Brannet and Nicky were very young pyromaniacs.

But no matter. For right now, the fresh air was all she needed to be happy.

It was just then that a bright blue light caught the corner of her eye, and her eyes widened in surprise.

"A... what the heck...?"

The college student followed around the corner of the apartment complex to where the bright light had come from, her ears perked, listening.

"...stupid time machine. Have to have mom fix the locator on this thing..." a blonde haired young man yelled at what looked like a silver watch affixed to his right arm. He appeared to be trying to fiddle with what looked like attached parts that came off of the contraption. "Although if she knew how much I'd been using it lately..."

"Hello?" Saberpilot said aloud, blinking. The young man jumped about ten feet in the air, clapping his hands as he did so. Whenever he landed, a wall of snow was between him and the college student, who fell promptly backwards from surprise. She blinked, stood up, and brushed herself off before yelling at the wall.

"Hey- you! You're an alchemist, aren't you?"

Some random swearing was heard behind the snow wall. "Freaking- Yes, I'm an alchemist! ...who are you?"

"The name's Saberpilot. You don't have to be scared, I'm not here to hurt you."

The person seemed to stop a minute, as though he were thinking about what he should do. After a moment, a purple light shone through the wall made of snow, melting the cold water droplets until there was a puddle in the alleyway in which the person stood. Saberpilot watched, then smiled and held out her hand.

"Won't you come out of there? You must be cold."

"Well-" the boy hesitated for a moment, then gave a reluctant grin and grabbed her hand, using it for leverage to get himself over the large puddle of water that had formed. Once he was on the other side, Saberpilot got a better look at him.

His blonde hair was almost to ear-length... and quite messily arranged. A pair of wide blue eyes looked into hers whenever he smiled, and he wore what looked like a black dress shirt and slacks. Saberpilot grinned at the young man.

"So, what's your name?" She asked, smiling. "You're obviously not from around here, right?"

"Well- yes and no," the child answered. "My name- well, my first name's Maes," the child said with a nervous grin. "And I'm from around here- or at least, my mother is." He started to walk forward, Saber walking in step with him. "But... I hadn't expected to- to-"

"To run into me?" Saber grinned. She winked and held out her finger. "Don't worry kid, I won't spill the beans. I'm guessing you're the one who's been showing up at night and leaving treats, am I right?" She then added as an afterthought with a laugh, "And annoying the hell out of Shadow..."

The young boy turned slightly crimson. "Um... well..."

"And I'm assuming that 'watch' on your wrist is some sort of travel device- time, to be specific, correct?"

"How did you-"

"You were the one muttering about it," Saber pointed out cheerfully. "And, if I put two and two- AND two," she giggled, "together, I can probably say this. You're a child from the future, your mother is from this dimension of Earth, and your father is an Elric. Am I close?"

The child's jaw dropped.

Saber smiled. "I thought so."

* * *

"All right you guys, time for bed," Shadow chided gently, ushering the last of the kids to their beds. "The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner it will be Christmas morning."

"But we're not-" Liam began before letting out a huge yawn "- sleepy."

"Sure you're not," Shadow chuckled. "But you're going to bed anyways. Now up the stairs with you."

"Do we have to?" Cecile asked, fighting off a yawn of her own.

"Yes."

With a last few minor protests the last of the kids shuffled off to bed. Roy took the opportunity to come back downstairs, nibbling on a little of the food that was left over.

"So, you decided to join us, huh?" Wolfwood teased, nudging the flame alchemist in the side. Roy glared at the preacher, who was obviously a little bit tipsy from the eggnog he'd taken.

"Well, I think we're going to turn in, right Al?" Ed said, placing his empty plate in the sink.

"Er... yeah, okay," Al agreed, saying goodnight to everyone.

"Hey, where's Saber?" Vash asked. "I wanted to say goodnight to her."

"I'm right here!" Saber called from the doorway, grinning from ear to ear. "You going to bed?"

"Yeah," Vash said.

"Us too," Al said with a smile.

Saber grinned at the Elric boys with a look that said 'I know something you don't know'... a look that very clearly confused the two boys. "Good night then," was all Saber said to them though. "Good night, Vash. Night Kish."

Wolfwood, Gene, Xellos, and Ryou also turned in, leaving just Saber, Alucard, Shadow and Roy downstairs. Shadow looked at Saber with a raised eyebrow. "What's got you looking so smug?"

"No-othing," Saber replied in a sing song tone.

"Ri-ight," Shadow said slowly, eyeing her friend. "Well, I have to go pick up the you-know-what. You want to come along?"

"Nah," Saber said with a yawn. "I'm kind of tired so I think I'll head in for the night as well."

"Traitor," Shadow mumbled, grabbing her car keys from the kitchen counter. She saw the dog lying under the tree and smiled. "Come on Pippin!" she cooed, calling to the dog. "Wanna come for a ride? That's a good dog! Come on! Come on, Pippin!" The puppy looked at her, yawned, and went back to sleep. "... I hate you, dog."

"I'll join you," Roy said, a tiny smirk touching his lips.

"That isn't necessary," Alucard growled at the flame alchemist, showing off his fangs. Roy responded to the threat by taking on a slightly defensive stance, raising one hand, his smirk widening.

"Hey!" Shadow hissed, stepping between the men. "If either of you destroy this house, especially tonight, both of you are going to wind up female and under three feet in height for the rest of your unnatural lives. So just settle down. I don't care which one of you comes with me, as long as I have someone to keep me company."

"I would be most delighted to accompany you," Roy said charmingly.

"I would rather I accompany you," Alucard stated. "For your safety."

"Alu-san, I can take care of myself," Shadow said willfully. "I don't think any random hitch-hiker is going to attack my car or anything."

"It isn't a random hitch-hiker that I worry about," Alucard snapped, glaring at Roy from behind his crimson glasses.

"Men," Shadow muttered, grabbing her coat. "You can't live with them, and you can't live without them..."

* * *

The morning light filtered in through the windows of the apartment, a few winter birds chirping in the trees outside. Saber tip-toed through the living room with Maes, who was making his way to the kitchen. Saber watched with amazement as Maes took out several main ingredients from the cupboards, setting them on the counter. He then pulled out a small marker board, drawing an array on it with a marker. Grinning, Maes placed his hands on the array. With a flash of purple light the ingredients changed from all their seperate forms, into a tray of cinnamon rolls.

Shadow mumbled something incoherently from the living room, rolling over from where she was sleeping on the floor. Saber saw the opportunity and it was one that was too great to pass up.

"I'll be right back," she whispered to Maes, tip-toeing back to her room to grab a camera. She also grabbed a large pink bow left over from present-wrapping.

"What're you-?" Maes asked, watching Saber as she stuck the bow on Shadow's forehead and snapped a couple of pictures. Maes giggled. "You haven't changed a bit... I mean- er..."

Lucky for him Saber hadn't heard anything he'd said, as Shadow was waking up from the flash of the camera. "...Saber? What did you..." She felt the bow on her forhead and then noticed the camera. "Oh, I'm so going to get you for that!"

"You're going to wake the others up," Maes noted from the kitchen.

"...who's he?" Shadow demanded.

"Another future child," Saber explained. "This is Maes. Maes, this is Shadow-chan. Shadow, he's the one that's been cooking all of the pastries."

"He's- WHAT? How many future kids do we HAVE?" Shadow-chan groaned. "And wait- HE'S the one that's been messing with MY kitchen?" The silver haired college student looked as though she were ready to rip the kid a new one. "Now hold on a minute here, Mr. Mass-"

"Maes," the boy corrected.

"Whatever," Shadow snapped. "You've been messing around in my kitchen for the past two weeks without so much as a 'do you mind', messing with not only my schedule, but my mind-"

"Which is apparently very fragile," Saber teased.

"Not to mention you've been using alchemy in my home!" Shadow continued to rant. "Which I've been trying to convince the others not to do since it draws so much friggen attention... especially since the last time they tried to use it, it left a stain on the floor!"

Maes looked a little sheepish as he said, "Well, I did try to keep it toned down. I just thought you all might like a little surprise."

"We did appreciate it," Saber said supportively. "Shadow's just making a fuss because she's not the one who thought of the idea in the first place."

"... just don't leave any arrays on my counters," Shadow grumbled, pulling the pink ribbon off her head.

Maes grinned a grin that reminded Shadow terribly of Ed and yet of Saber at the same time as he picked up his markerboard and wiped it clean. "No worries. Mom makes me use this, that way I don't put any arrays on the floor or walls and drive the house robots mad."

"House... robots?" Saber asked.

"Eh, nothing! Nothing!" Maes said quickly, grinning nervously.

"Gee, I wonder which one of us spawned you," Shadow said sarcastically, gazing at Saber.

"Huh?" the blonde asked densely.

"Wow, something smells good," Vash noted, sniffing at the air as he alked into the kitchen. "Good morning you three... er..."

"Vash, this is Maes," Saber introduced.

"Hi Maes," Vash greeted cheerfully, snagging a cinnamon roll, taking a bite. "Shadow, these are delicious."

"Maes made them."

"Oh. Well, young man, you're an excellent cook."

"Thanks," Maes said with a bit of a blush.

"Christmas time!" Genesis squealed, running down the stairs at super speed. "Can we open present Mom? Can we? Can we?"

"Go wake the others up first," Shadow instructed, putting some water on for coffee and coco. Genesis ran back up the stairs, pounding on each of the doors to wake up her siblings, cousins, and future uncles. When she pounded on the Elrics' room, she got no response to her pounding though, so she walked inside.

"Wake up!" She shouted at the boys, who blinked slowly as they sat up.

"Huh?" Ed asked groggily.

"Get up! Get up! It's Christmas time! Hurry up!" Genesis shouted. Roy rolled over in his bed, trying to ignore the little brat. Genesis' eyes narrowed at the flame alchemist just a bit, and she ran, jumping on his bed. "WAKE UP!"

"Gyah!" Roy exclaimed, sitting up, fighting every urge to toast the little brat as she ran out of the room laughing.

"Come on, you guys!" Genesis called.

"We're up, we're up," Rem said groggily.

"Couldn't you let us sleep a little longer?" Locke asked, rubbing his eyes.

"She's your sister," Nicholas grumbled.

"Yay presents!" Nicky and Brannet cheered, running around the tree, chasing Pippin, who kept trying to bark at one present in particular.

"Oh wow!" Al exclaimed, his eyes lighting up at the sight in the living room. "Nii-san, look!" Ed grinned at the sight.

"Okay, now to ask the age old question," Shadow said with a grin as she handed out coffee to the adults, some of which were giving Maes odd looks. "Do we eat first or open presents first?"

"Presents!" all of the kids shouted.

"Hmm, I dunno," Saber said with a grin. "I think we should eat breakfast first."

"Mommy, no!" Brannet cried, holding onto a present that he'd picked up.

"Just kidding, you guys," Saber giggled, sitting on the couch. "Shadow, you want to do the honors?"

"Yeah, why not?" Shadow replied, setting her coffee down, sitting on the floor by the tree. Pippin came over, licking her face, and Shadow tried to push the dog away. "Pippin! Go away!" Roy whistled to the pup, who looked at the black haired alchemist, then trotted over to the couch, curling up at Saber's feet. _Okay, kids first._ She passed out the kids' presents, which they all tore into like... well... excited children on Christmas morning.

A chorus of "ooh" and "thanks mom!" filled the air then Shadow turned to the adults in the room. "And now for you. Saber get over here and pass the gifts out to your men."

Saber blushed, picking up a few gifts and handing them to Vash and Kish while Shadow handed gifts out to Wolfwood, Alucard, and Ryou.

"Al, Shadow and I got this for you," Saber explained, carefully handed a large box to Al, who took it just as carefully.

"And we got this for you, Ed," Shadow said, handing Ed a brightly wrapped gift. "We both had different ideas on what to get you, so this is our comprimise."

"Nii-san! Look!" Al exclaimed as he removed the lid from his box... to find a little white and brown kitten inside. It mewed at him, and Al picked it up, cuddling with it until it began to purr. Ed's eyebrow twitched, but only for a moment, as he watched his brother laugh. "Thanks you guys!"

"You'll have to think of a name for it," Ed sighed, turning to his own gift, which he opened with speed. His eyes widened and he took on a look of confusion as he held up a brightly coloured, rather large, stuffed fish. "Wh-what the?"

Roy laughed at the blonde alchemist. Ed growled at the black haired man.

"And this is for you," Shadow stated, handing the flame alchemist a small, very neatly wrapped box.

"Should we be afraid?" Wolfwood asked, noting the grin on Shadow's face.

"Nah, I doubt she'd give him anything explosive," Ryou replied. "Besides, it isn't ticking."

Roy raised an eyebrow as he opened the gift... to find a lighter inside, with a small tag attached. "In case of emergencies... or rainstorms."

Now it was Ed's turn to laugh. "Heh, she nailed you pretty good, eh Colonel?"

"Hold your tongue, Fullmetal, or I'll burn it from your mouth."

"With your lighter?" Ed snickered. The Flame alchemist didn't answer, his raised brow enough to constitute what he thought of the young man's statement.

"Well, now that takes care of that," Shadow grinned. "Now shall we eat something?"

"Wait, what about you guys?" Nicholas asked Saber and Shadow, giving the men a look.

"Er, yeah," Kish said with a laugh. "We almost forgot!" He presented Saber with a gift that was somewhat haphazardly wrapped, smirking at Ed and Vash for having been first to give his gift.

"Thank you, Kish!" Saber exclaimed, accepting the gift. She carefully unwrapped it, pulling the lid off of a long box to reveal an ornately decorated dagger sheathed in silver. Stylized cats covered the sheath, and the hilt had a cat wrapping up around it, two tigers'-eye stones making up a set of very feline eyes decorating the silver. Saber's eyes went wide with amazement. "Oh wow! Kish, it's amazing!"

Kish preened under the praise while Ryou handed a neatly wrapped gift to Shadow.

"Oh, this is gonna be good," Cecile giggled as Shadow unwrapped the gift, holding up a t-shirt.

It was black and had white print on the stomache that read "Here lies Bob". A tombstone with a cactus was printed below the words. Shadow cracked up while Kish glared at Ryou. Ed and Al looked extremely confused, as did Roy, and some of the kids.

"Bob...?" Ed asked, watching Shadow put the t-shirt on over her pajamas. His eyes went wide when he noticed where the print was. "Saber, is she-"

Saber laughed at Ed's expression, waving her hand to dismiss his question. "Not unless she has something she and one of you all have something they'd like to confess," Saber laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. "It makes reference to when Shadow ate Bob the Cactus."

"How dare you bring that blasphemous act up in a manner like this?!" Kish snarled at Ryou.

The blonde genious ignored the alien, grinning as Shadow thanked him for the awesome gift, which was now her new favorite t-shirt.

"I...er... this is for you," Ed said with a blush, handing Saber his gift next. "Al helped too," he added quickly.

Saber smiled and opened the gift, which revealed a silver statue in the form of a Maine Coon cat, the eyes made out of two opals, holding a mouse playfully in its paw. "Oh, Ed, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed, jumping up and pulling the blonde into a big hug. Ed blushed bright scarlet, but hugged her back.

"Okay, my turn!" Vash stated, trying not to show the fact that he was jealous. He pulled a little box out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"Vash?" Saber asked. "What's this?"

"Open it," Vash smiled.

Saber did as she was told, her cheeks turning bright red as she saw a tiny, very pretty ring sitting in the box. "Vash... it's- it's beautiful."

"You got her a ring?" Wolfwood asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's a... it's a promise ring," Saber breathed, placing it on her finger. "Vash, I love it!"

"That's so sweet," Shadow grinned, setting Wolfwood's gift aside with Ryou's. Just then the dog jumped onto her lap, barking and licking her face. "ARGH! Dumb dog! Get off me! Stop it!" The dog, of course, ignored her, settling down into her lap, refusing to be pushed off. "Blasted mutt!" Shadow grumbled, trying to remove the furball from her lap. That was when she noticed something tied to his collar. It was a small box. She gave Roy an accusatory look which the military officer ignored.

She opened the box and found inside a small pin set in the design of a flame. A note was attached which read "Anyone can light a fire, but it takes skill to control it." She recognized the reference from the night she and Roy had gone out to dinner. She gave him a smug look, then smiled.

"No one can control fire," she grinned cooly. "It has a mind of its own."

"I suppose I'll just have to prove you wrong," Roy replied, just as cooly.

"What's... what's that about, Nii-san?" Al whispered to his brother.

"No idea," Ed answered, slightly confused himself. Then his eyebrow twitched. "You'd better not be doing anything you shouldn't or Hawkeye-" Ed was silenced by a cold glare from Roy.

"Hey now, no fighting," Maes stepped in with a good-natured smile that was very reminiscent of Saber.

Ed had forgotton about the kid for a while, but now that Maes had spoken up, all attention was back on him and wondering where he'd come from, as well as which person had possibly spawned him. It was obvious to Shadow, and partially to Saber as well.

"Are you from the future as well?" Al asked curiously. He and his brother were still trying to wrap their minds around the idea that all of the kids had managed to jump back from a time in the future. It had been very odd at first, but they were adjusting to the knowledge.

Maes nodded.

"And you said your name was Maes?" Cecile asked.

Again the boy nodded. "I was named after a friend of my father's," he explained, figuring that he might as well give up the information. They had found out about him, after all, so, what was the use in hiding, he had figured.

Both Elric brothers and Roy stared at the ten year old boy with expressions of mild shock.

"I would say that narrows the field down to three," Shadow grinned. "Given his hair colour I'd say that you're out of this genetic running, Colonel." She grinned at the Elrics. "Which just leaves you two."

"And you two," Ryou pointed out, to Saber and Shadow. "Either one of you could be the mother."

"Oh I know who both parents are," Shadow grinned.

"Who?" Saber, Ed, and Al asked all at once. Shadow was about to answer when a knock from one of the closet doors interrupted.

"Is someone in the closet?" Rem wondered, opening the door. Washu was standing in the space as if it were perfectly normal.

"Aunt Washu!" Nicky cheered, running over to his pink-haired "Aunt" and giving her a hug.

"Well hello there," she grinned, returning the little boy's hug. "I just thought we'd stop by and wish you a happy holiday. And check up on how things are going, of course."

"Kiyone wants a report on the clean-up huh?" Shadow asked, leaning back.

"You're all invited to supper with us also," Washu added with a wink. "Tsasami has some pretty interesting dishes on the menu."

"Can we, Mom?" Rem asked Saber.

"Yeah, can we go?" Nicholas added to his sister's plea.

"I don't mind if Shadow doesn't," Saber replied easily.

"Not at all," Shadow agreed. "So go and get dressed, all you little monsters." The kids all jumped up and ran for their rooms. As Genesis ran by Shadow swore she heard the child giggle in an insanely eager voice:

"And round three begins."

"So, are you enjoying the holiday break?" Washu asked conversationally of Saber and Shadow as the men left to get ready as well.

"Definately!" Saber exclaimed. "No class for a month!"

"It'll be better when I get my test results back," Shadow replied. "Then I can relax."

"Test?" Washu asked with a raised eyebrow. "Is one of the youngsters coming sooner than we thought?"

Shadow's jaw dropped while Saber giggled. "What is it with everyone and making baby references in the past few weeks?!" she demanded, glad that none of the men or kids were in the room to see how red her face was. "I was talking about my PRAXIS exams!"

"So you were," Washu grinned, winking at Saber, who grinned.

"You two are so evil," Shadow grumbled, pushing the dog off of her lap.

"What, you can't handle being teased?" Saber grinned.

"Yes, but I'm not the one wearing a ring," Shadow teased, making Saber blush. "Who's red now?"

"You little-" Saber growled playfully, her cat ears and tail appearing. She chased after her friend as Shadow ran up the stairs, the both of them about to get ready for Christmas dinner. "I'm gonna get you!"

* * *

"It sure was a good dinner," Kiyone smiled to Shadow-chan, who was currently holding a sleeping Nicky in her arms. The little boy had tired himself out to the point of exhaustion, and was quietly breathing in and out.

"Mm-hmm," the silver-haired young woman agreed. Some of the men had already crashed for the night, their bodies stretched out on blankets laid on the Misaki living room floor. The girl had to laugh at Gene, who constantly seemed to be calling out for Mel in his sleep. "A very nice dinner. Tsasami outdid herself, I think." She nodded at the young aqua-haired girl, who was now curled up with Ryo-Ohki at her side on a pillow.

"And I'm glad to hear you're actually taking care of business. Saber said that the Pokemon 'devolution' as she calls it- I'll have to remember to ask her where the heck she came up with that archane word, by the way- is well under way to being reversed."

"You'd be correct," Spike added, a mild grin on his face... obviously caused by the warm sake he'd just ingested. "I just recieved word from Ed via Washu's inter-dimension-thing that the Bebop and everything else is now clear of the menace- apparently they were being overrun by some small swirly-shaped things." He shrugged, then chuckled. "Jet and Faye apparently teamed up and went on a shooting spree, from what I hear."

"...I don't want to know what caused those two to team up besides that," Shadow shook her head and smiled. "And I know that Jim told Saber via Washu that Aisha had a field day taking out her anger on them."

"So things are definately back on their way to becoming normal... well, as normal as it can get," Kiyone laughed.

"What did you do to Forka, anyways?" Wolfwood asked, walking in the living room with a cup of warm vodka in hand. He seemed rather calm and cheerful.

"We placed her in a sub-spacial prison facility," Kiyone said, accepting a glass of wine that Yosho handed her. "Once the police saw what havok her crimes had ravaged on not only THIS universe, but all the others... well, it was an easy decision for the committee to place her in the strongest quarters."

"Isn't that the one where- hic-" Mihoshi started, "that assassin after Tenchi-hic- wash?" Suddenly the blonde broke out into a fit of giggles and fell on the floor, drunk.

"Yes, Mihoshi," Kiyone answered, a large sweatdrop forming on her head.

"I still think we should have permanently taken care of her," Mustang stated openly. He also took a glass of wine offered by Tenchi's grandfather. "It doesn't sit right with me that she seemed so easily captured."

"Easy?" Shadow coughed. "You think that was EASY?"

Alucard gave the Colonel an evil glare behind red eyeglasses, then went back to nebbing his vial of blood.

"Well, Saberpilot pretty much defeated her physically before you shot," Mustang pointed out. "I'd say that constitutes her being easily captured."

The rest of the adults present sighed.

"Let's just be happy she's in prison and forget about it all, okay?" Kiyone smiled gently. "Besides, the kids are trying to sleep." She gestured towards the pile of youngsters that also laid near Tsasami and the sleeping forms of Ed, Al, Kish, Ryou, and Gene. She laughed. "And the grown up kids as well."

"Speaking of grown up kids, does anyone know where Saber and Vash have gotten to?" Ayeka asked, strolling into the room with what looked like sandtart cookies in hand. "I know that Miss Saber had expressed specific interest in trying some of these and the pizzelle pasteries that I made earlier."

"Well," Washu grinned, "I think it's just better to leave those two be."

* * *

"Saber?"

"Hmm?"

"...you know, I was kind of hoping... I mean, I found out what a promise ring is and everything..."

"Yeah?"

The red-clad gunner scratched the back of his head. "Well... I mean, since you and Miss Shadow have taken care of Forka... and my brother... Gunsmoke isn't in any great danger. And I know that this may come as kind of... well, sudden, and presumptuous, but... have you thought of the future?"

"The future?" Saber turned to look at him, sitting beside him in the gazebo that laid behind the Misaki house.

"Yeah... I mean... the others all have lives they've left behind in their universes, but I... I really have no reason to go back."

Saber blinked and stopped short. "You- you mean... what about..?"

"Saber," He asked, holding her hands in his, "Would you... I mean, I know this is kind of sudden and everything, but would you ever consider going... oh, what's the word?" he blushed, concentrating, "Um... steady? Yeah, that's it. Steady, with me?"

Saber's cheeks turned bright red. "You mean... are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Vash?"

"Well... yeah."

Vash looked down, worried at her answer, since it was obviously taking her a moment to decide. However, when he felt one of her small hands on his face, and saw tears in her cat-like blue eyes, he knew her answer. He then pulled her into a gentle kiss, the falling snow outside of their surroundings framing the moment like a picture.

When they finally pulled away, Saber snuggled against his side and watched the snow fall.

"Well... this has been a good Christmas, hasn't it?" he smiled.

"The best Christmas," Saber grinned, at peace. "The best Christmas ever."

* * *

Saber: Cutesy ending brought to you by Shadow, who teased me for at least a week afterwards. ; May you all have a happy and safe holiday season! :D


	20. Runaway

A/N: Thank God, an UPDATE! School has been hectic, but we're trying to get this out and complete. We have about 2 more chapters after this, then the sequel can commence :D 

With that out of the way, we don't own any of said anime characters (except in our dreams) and please, R&R!

* * *

Shadow sat cross-legged on the couch, eating a bowl of cerial while she glanced over a rather thick book. The only light source she had was from the street-light outside, but that seemed to be enough for the girl, especially with her eyesight as improved as it was. Upstairs she could hear the puppy running around trying to find a playmate, while the children slumbered away. Saber was in her room, hugging her pillow, or had been the last time Shadow had checked in on the blonde. At least she was able to get some sleep. 

"You're up rather late," a low voice purred through the darkness. Shadow looked up to see a pair of red eyes and a smirk.

"Good... morning, Alucard," Shadow replied after glancing at the clock. "I wasn't disturbing you was I?"

"Hardly," the vampire said cooly, leaning over Shadow's shoulder to glance at the book she was reading. Shadow's heartbeat quickened, and the college student felt some heat creeping into her cheeks. "The Count of Monte Cristo?" he inquired.

"Yeah," she sighed. "For literature class." She looked down, taking a large bite of cerial to hide the fact that her cheeks were starting to turn slightly pink. When she'd swallowed, she'd recovered completely.

"You are on holiday," Alucard stated, his face very close to Shadow's. "You should enjoy it."

"I don't have time to, really."

"You seem to have time for that dog of a military agent," the Vampire hissed.

Shadow raised an eyebrow. The jealousy in that statement was quite obvious and an unbidden sense of rebellion crept into the girl's chest. "And what is that supposed to mean? Why shouldn't I give him the time of day? At least he didn't knock me out and have brain surgery preformed on me. " she said evenly, leveling a glare at Alucard that would have made Integra proud. He just gazed back at her, his expression unreadable. She sighed, and her look softened. "Alu-san, you don't need to worry about Roy. Nothing between us is ever going to be serious. He loves Riza too much, even if he's too stubborn to admit it." She set her bowl aside and leaned her head against Alucard, closing her eyes.

"And knowing that you still invite him into-"

"Alucard," Shadow interrupted, sitting up straight. "Being jealous and pouting isn't going to change anything. If nothing more, it'll irk me even more and then I'll do something you really won't like." She let out a heavy sigh then gave him a teasing look. "You know I love you, and I always will love you. So just drop the subject, all right?" Alucard looked down at her but didn't say anything. Shadow then added, "And I forbid you to kill him."

Alucard smirked at that. "Of course." He bowed to Shadow, then vanished, leaving the silver haired girl alone. She shook her head and went back to her book.

A few hours later a second inquiry caused her to raise her head. "Do you ever sleep?"

She looked up and grinned at Mustang. "As if you can talk. And what has you up at... 5:30 in the morning? It wasn't me was it?"

"Just Fullmetal's snoring." The Flame Alchemist snorted. "And what has you up so early, if I might inquire?"

"Literature class," Shadow stated, holding up her book. "The one class that I actually enjoy this semester. So much better then math. Too much strategy in math."

"Ah, but strategy is necessar-"

"Yeah, but randomness is so much more difficult to counter," Shadow said absently, skimming through the pages of a chapter. "That's how real wars are won, my friend, by doing something so random and unpredictable that no one knows how to counter. Think about it. If soldiers are expected to meet on the battlefield face to face and you attack the enemy from tree-tops, you've not only confused the enemy; they no longer know what to expect. They can't plan effectively if you always act at random."

A smile tweaked at Roy's lips as he looked at the girl. "Amusing, that you claim to hate the military so much and yet you explain your theory in military terms."

"Well, they say that when you're explaining something, explain it in the manner that even the most simple-minded person in the room can understand," Shadow replied with a wicked grin. She shut her book and hopped off of the couch. "Well, time to take the mutt for his walk. See ya later."

* * *

"What are you doing?" Edward asked of Roy, watching the older man write something in a little black book. Al was sitting on his own bed, minding his own business as he played with Rubedo, the kitten he'd got at christmas. The little creature seemed to adore the brown haired boy and neither of them were ever seen seperated for more then ten minutes. 

"That is none of your concern, Fullmetal."

"You had better not be writing anything about Saber!" Ed shouted, pointing a gloved finger at Roy threateningly. "If you even-"

Roy snickered, closing the book. "She looks far too young to even hold my interest. I'll leave you to the children."

"You low-life little piece of-"

"You two aren't fighting are you?" Saber asked as she peeked her head in the doorway. Edward had to take several deep breaths to calm down. He didn't want to make Saber upset.

"Just a slight disagreement," Ed said with a smile.

"Anything that I can help with?"

"It's nothing," Roy said in a dismissive tone, leaving the room.

"Ignore him," Ed stated, rolling his eyes. "He's always like that. So...uh..." He tapped his fingers together, as if there was something he was embarrassed to say or ask. "Well, you...uh... said you wanted to show me around your town... so..."

"Would you like to go today?" Saber asked. "We could go after breakfast. Which is done, by the way."

"Yeah!" Ed exclaimed, grabbing Saber by the wrist and dragging her downstairs, the thought of food taking temporary control of him.

"Nii-san, you should have Kos-mos teach you how to make this while we're here," Al suggested as he took a bite of the egg-casarole that Kos-mos had prepared.

"I can cook just fine," Ed replied indignantly.

"The last time you tried to cook you tried to transmutate the ingredients," Al reminded his older brother.

"So?" Ed asked through a mouthful of eggs.

"It crawled off the plate."

"DID NOT!" Edward shouted defensively. "Winry just said that because she didn't want to eat it!"

"Did it really crawl off the plate?" Genesis asked Al eagerly. The boy glanced over at his fuming brother and smiled apologetically.

"Well, it did twitch..."

"AL!"

"Cool!" Genesis exclaimed. She then turned to Edward. "Can you make whatever it was again?"

"THE FOOD DID NOT TWITCH!" Edward shouted. Genesis looked at him for a moment, her eyes tearing. Ed looked slightly embarrassed. "I... I didn't mean to-"

He never got to finish as Genesis let out a wail. "You're so mean!" she cried, tears rolling down her cheeks. "You're just like my brothers!" She jumped down from her chair and ran up the stairs. Ed's slight embarassment increased to extreme embarassment as he got looks from the other adults at the table.

"I'll-" Shadow started to say when Alucard apparated at the base of the stairs.

"I'll take care of it," he said.

The silver haired girl shrugged, turning back to her breakfast. Roy stood up, grabbing his coat and Shadow called out to him. "Take the dog out."

Roy whistled and Pippin charged through the room, barking loudly. Roy clipped a leash to the dog's collar, then exited the house.

"Do you still want a tour of the campus?" Saber asked Edward, who was now just toying with his food. "Vash and the others have seen it so-" A rapid, loud clicking noise interrupted Saber and she jumped up, her cat ears popping up from her skull. "What was that!"

"It sounded like gunfire!" Al gasped.

"Everyone stay here," Shadow ordred, walking to the door. "You too, Saber."

"But-"

Shadow pushed the door open and slid out into the snow-covered yard, ignoring the shock of the cold snow on her bare feet. She looked around but she didn't see anyone around. Pippin's barking drew her attention to a dark lump lying on the sidewalk. She jogged over to it, and discovered Mustang lying on the ground.

"Ohmygod, is he dead?" Saber asked, causing Shadow to jump.

"Don't do that to me!" the silver haired half-Plant gasped.

"Sorry," Saber replied with a nervous giggle. "But... is he... you know..."

Shadow looked down at some red spots on Mustang's coat and at first she thought they were blood... until she noticed that nothing was pooling beneath him. Suspicious, she bent down and touched the "blood" with her fingers, examining. It was nothing more than paint. 'Of course, a paintball to the back and neck' she thought to herself, noting a third shot on the man's neck, 'on the ice would make someone fall. He must have hit his head.'

"Not dead," Shadow stated. "Just unconscious. You want to help me carry him inside?" The two of them managed to lift the unconscious man and drag him across the yard, back to the door. "Does Murphy have some unwritten rule that if you have to drag someone inside, the distance has to be over 20 feet?"

"Yep," Saber confirmed. "Murphy's Law of Rescue. If a person is unconscious, he or she must be at least 25 feet away from the base of operations in order to be rescued."

"Go figure."

"Is he all right?" Vash asked.

"Paintball," Saber stated. "He's knocked out." Ed snickered a bit. "Here, get his coat off." Ed and Al removed the colonel's jacket, tossing it on the coat hook.

"That looks like real blood to me," Wolfwood pointed out. Shadow glanced around at Roy's chest and forehead and cursed. She could see several places where he was bleeding and a few shards of glass sticking out of the skin.

"Ryou, in the closet there's an orange bag, you want to bring it to me?" Shadow asked as she and Saber carried Roy to the nearest bedroom. "Al, can you get me some hot water? Ed, some towels please." All of the boys brought the requested items and sat them on the night stand next to the bed. "Thank you." She donned a pair of latex gloves, then proceeded to unbutton Roy's shirt.

"What are you doing!" Saber gaped.

"Removing frozen glass shards from a man's chest and forehead," Shadow stated, using a pair of tweezers to remove the shards, some of them as long as her little finger. "I can't believe someone just threw a glass bottle on the sidewalk like that knowing that there are kids around here!" With the glass removed from the wounds on his chest, Shadow used the water, then some peroxide, and cleaned the wounds, drying them and bandaging them. As she moved to tend his head, Roy let out a soft moan.

He opened his eyes to see Shadow leaning over him and a tiny smile tugged at his lips. "Don't move or this'll hurt even more," she warned him as she removed a tiny shard of glass from the cut. He flinched inwardly, but made no outward motion or sound as he watched the girl work. She didn't seem the least bit disturbed by the blood on her gloved hands. "All right, that should hold," the silver haired college student said, removing her gloves and tossing them in the waste basket.

Roy caught Shadow's now de-gloved hand and pulled her back to him.

"Colonel, what do you think you're doing?" Ed demanded.

"Thanking the lady for taking care of me," Roy replied smoothly, pulling Shadow even closer. Her cheeks were bright red as she tried to find something to say.

A sudden pressure on Shadow's shoulder solved that issue, as Alucard appeared, pulling her away.

"Alucard!"

"If you wish to thank her then do so appropriately," he growled, flashing his fangs. Roy glared right back, increasing the tension in the room a hundred fold.

"Now boys," Shadow interrupted in a motherly tone. "If you can't play nice then I'm going to have to put you both in a time out." She reached into her bag and pulled out a penlight. "Colonel, if you would, sit up and look at me please."

He listened, smirking at Alucard as Shadow placed her hand under his chin to steady his head as she flashed the light on his eyes. Alucard looked as though he was ready to rip the alchemist's throat out. Shadow clicked the light off and grinned.

"You'll live."

"When I find that shooter-"

"You never will," Alucard snarled before vanishing.

Shadow stared at the now empty space and sighed. Roy, before Shadow could react, cupped her cheek with his hand, pulling her into a rather passionate kiss.

"Should we leave you alone?" Saber teased.

"Ha ha ha," Shadow said breathlessly, when she'd finally pulled away. She tossed the penlight back into the bag and stood up. "Come on, Saber, we should check and make sure the kids aren't killing each other."

Edward rounded on the Colonel, who smirked at the blonde teen openly. "What do you think you're doing!" the blonde demanded. "You're not serious, are you!"

"She's a challenge, Fullmetal," Roy stated simply. "I never could resist a challenge."

* * *

"I despise that military bloodbag," Alucard hissed from his hiding spot in the attic of the girls' house-in-an-apartment that they had just slightly off-campus. Al's cat gave the vampire a scathing look, then fell back to sleep after a quick yawn. Alucard sneered at the creature. 

"You'll die and stay that way soon. What would you know of an undead's wrath?" The vampire complained to the cat, then looked out the window at the still-laid snow.

"Next time I'll have to teach Genesis proper aiming techniques," he groaned, although the grumble was more inward than his voice. "She's worse than police girl, and that's a horrible insult to one of our kind."

"What's that, Papa?" a small voice questioned, Genesis's head popping into the doorway. Alucard barely glanced at the girl, but gave a slight nod.

"I was just fearing for the future of our kind if after armageddon our species' future is in your hands, daughter."

"Papa?" Genesis started to tear up, although her violet eyes were turning slightly red at this point. "Papa, I did my best! I honestly did- I aimed like you showed me to and I made sure the glass was there, but-"

"I realize you tried your hardest," Alucard seethed. "However, it is not acceptable that a vampire- although beezlebub be damned for what I am to accomplish with your half-blood type, a vampire of your calibur to fail so excruciatingly."

"Papa!"

"I fear that you must no longer be part of this project," the vampire hissed, standing up and straightening before her. "And I know that Liam and Locke would not be so poppetish to try-"

"Huh?" Genesis blinked.

"Nothing," Alucard said and placed his gloved hand on her head, her brown forelocks moving slightly. "Nothing. Just go back to your room and play your insignificant human toils."

"But Papa-"

"GO!" the vampire roared quietly, his voice as cold and hard as ice. Genesis looked as though she was going to wail, but she held it back, biting her tongue. With a quick compositional check, she gave her future father a quick nod and turned face, heading back down to the room she shared with Cecile.

Alucard continued to ponder sitting on his attic windowsill, his thoughts murderous when it came to a certain man named Mustang.

* * *

"Have any of you guys seen Genesis?" Shadow asked, poking her head into Locke and Nicholas' room. 

Nicholas looked up at her and shook his head. Locke didn't even look up, he just shrugged. "Maybe she's with Dad."

"I don't think so. He seems to be hiding from me too."

Locke snorted and looked over at his future mother. "I hate to tell you this, Mom, but I can't recall one time where Dad's hidden from you. I think I've seen him cringe once or twice, but he's never hidden from you."

"Oh thanks," Shadow said, rolling her eyes. Locke gave her a toothy grin. "Well, if you see her running around, tell her I want to see her, okay?"

"Will do," Nicholas promised.

* * *

"Hey Shadow, are we going to jump anywhere today?" Saber asked. 

"Yeah. I guess," Shadow said, sighing. "Let me just grab the DGT."

"Okay guys!" Saber called. "Who's coming with us?"

"I'll come!" Kish stated with a grin.

"I go wherever you go," Vash said, giving Saber's shoulders a squeeze. The girl blushed, but smiled. Kish growled jealously.

Roy simply nodded to the blonde girl signaling that he was going to come along. Wolfwood was lounging elsewhere in the house and Alucard was hiding, so it looked like it was just going to be the five of them. Shadow returned with the DGT and grinned.

"So, do we have everyone?"

"Yep!" Saber said with a cat-like grin. "Let's go!" Shadow set the coordinates and the group vanished into the black hole. No one noticed the extra body that tagged along behind.

* * *

"Dad?" Liam called, popping his head in the attic. He saw his father brooding in the shadows and grinned. "So this is where you've been hiding!" 

"I have not been hiding!" Alucard snarled at his middle child.

"Yeah... okay. Anyways, have you seen Genesis? Mom was looking for her earlier but couldn't find her, and we were looking for her and couldn't find her so we thought maybe she was with you and-"

"I sent her back to her room," Alucard stated blankly, as though he didn't care.

"Well she's not there," Liam stated. "And she's not anywhere else in the house."

That got Alucard's attention. "Then perhaps she is with Shadow."

Liam shook his head again. "Nope. Mom and Aunt Saber went on a jump. Mustang went with her since you weren't around. But Mom wouldn't have taken Genesis along on a jump. So..." Alucard stood up and stalked out of the attic, leaving his son behind. "Dad? Wait for me!"

* * *

"Usagi, would you pay attention!" snapped a small black cat with a crescent moon on her forhead. "We're trying to be serious here and it doesn't help that you keep daydreaming!" 

"Sorry, Luna," a girl with long blonde hair pulled into odango with ponytails replied. "I can't help it when its so nice out."

"The cold air must be getting to your brain, meatball head," grumbled a second girl with long black hair.

"You're so mean, Rei!" Usagi sniffled.

"Come on you two, don't fight," pleaded a blue haired girl. "We need to focus!"

"Ami's right," Makoto, a brown haired teen, agreed. "Minako, are you listening? Honestly, sometimes you're as bad as Usagi is!" A fifth girl, also a blonde, blushed and gave an embarrassed apology.

The five girls were walking through the park, a pink haired child and two cats in tow. Not such an odd group unless one was paying close enough attention to realize that the two cats were not only extremely intelligent, but could also speak as if it were the most ordinary occurance on earth.

"Ami, did you get any data on those weird creatures?" Rei asked, looking at the blue haired teen.

Ami shook her head with a disappointed look. "No. I'm not even certain that they're from the Negaverse. I've never encountered anything like them and the readings I'm getting are totally off the wall."

"Could it be someone else and not the Negaverse for once?" Usagi inquired.

Any answer she was about to recieve was cut off as a black hole opened up in the sky, depositing six bodies onto the ground in front of the girls.

"What the-" Minako wondered aloud.

"Ouch!" came a curse from the bottom of the pile. "Mustang, would you get off of me! Your elbow is driving into my stomach!"

"My apologies," came an irritated voice.

"You guys really need to work on your landings," Saber grinned. She was the only one in the entire group to have landed on her feet. Shadow just gave her a dirty glare as she climbed to her feet, brushing herself off.

"Who are you?" Rei demanded, taking a defensive stance.

"Great, we landed in front of the locals," Shadow muttered. She shook her head at Roy, who was just starting to reach for his gloves.

"We're..." Saber began, wondering if she could come up with an excuseable lie... and gave up. "We're here to stop some rather nasty creatures from running amok. Have you seen anything that's extremely out of place, brightly coloured, and make odd noises?"

"Aside from us, of course," Shadow added sarcastically.

"How do we know we can trust you?" Usagi asked. "You just fell out of the sky and-"

"He's so dreamy," Minako murmered, interrupting her friend as she and Makoto began to stare daydreamingly at both Vash and Roy.

"He reminds me of my ex-boyfriend," Makoto agreed.

"Uh... guys?" Usagi asked.

Saber stepped protectively in front of Vash as if to say "back off, he's mine". Her glare certainly said as much.

"You guys are so weird," the little pink haired girl mumbled, crossing her arms.

"You have no clue what weird is," answered a little dark haired girl, who also crossed her arms. "Try living with these guys," she waved her hand at the five adults, "and all of your uncles and cousins. Then you'll have a slight idea of what weird is."

"Who are you!"

"Genesis. Who are you?"

"Chibi-Usa. Do you know what-"

"GENESIS!" Shadow's screech brought everyone else out of their reveries and into the deffinite present as the silver haired college girl shouted. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" She took a deep breath, trying to keep herself from blowing up any surrounding greenery. "What were you thinking? You know that you're not allowed on jumps! You could get hurt or-"

"As if you care!" Genesis cut in, tearing up. "You don't care what happens to any of us, especially me! All you care about now is that stupid military guy! I hate you!" She tore off into the park, leaving the adults behind.

"Hey wait!" Chibi-Usa called running after her.

"Genesis!" Shadow called out, leaving the path to chase her daughter, Usagi joining her.

"Kids," the blonde grumbled as she ran next to Shadow.

"You're telling me," Shadow agreed.

* * *

Back on the path Saber was talking rapidly with Ami, giving the blue haired teen data on the Pokemon. Since Ami had asked her for it, Saber didn't see any reason to be secretive about what their mission was. Makoto and Minako were... admiring... Roy, who seemed to enjoy the attention. 

"So you're from a different dimension?" Ami asked, turning the question back to Saber and her commrades.

"Yeah," Saber replied with a bit of a sweatdrop. "I know it sounds really weird and all, but-"

Two high pitched screams interrupted the girl, and everyone suddenly became very serious and alert.

"That sounded like Chibi-Usa!" Rei stated, rising to her feet in worry.

"And Genesis," Vash added. He, Kish, Roy, and Saber took off into the park, searching for the two girls. Rei, Ami, Minako, and Makoto weren't too far behind, though after a few minutes, they split from the group ahead of them, taking a different route. Shadow and Usagi followed straight through where the two groups had split, hoping their luck would prove well for them.

"Genesis!" Shadow called out, skidding to a halt when she saw her future daughter, along with Chibi-Usa, cornered against a large tree by a pack of strange fox-like creatures with two tails. There were at least eight of them, and all of them were growling and snarling, flames starting to glow in their mouths.

"Chibi-Usa!" Usagi gasped.

Shadow grabbed a rock and threw it at one of the creatures. "Get away from them, you stupid monsters!" The pokemon that she'd hit turned and snarled at her, shooting a stream of flames that scorched the trees and surrounding brush. Shadow had dodged the flames, but just barely.

"Mom!" Genesis cried out, reaching with a free hand towards her future mother.

Usagi glanced at Shadow, who was kneeling on the ground, slighly toasted, then glanced back at the girls, who were trying to shrink as far away from the snarling fox-monsters as was possible. There was no helping it. The odango-haired girl raised her hand into the air, and gave a great yell.

"Moon Prism Power!"

The girl jumped into the air, all vision of her clothes slipping away as instead her body was encased in a white bodysuit. Within milliseconds, bright red boots, a bejeweled headband, a short blue skirt, and trimmed gloves adorned her different features of her body. After her complete transformation, she stopped and stood in a defensive stance, her blue eyes centered on the fox-like creatures.

Sailor Moon cast a worried glance at Shadow from the corner of her eye. Shadow looked nonplussed at the strange turn of events, which surprised Usagi a great deal. However, the senshi of the moon ignored the girl's non-existant reactions when she saw the silver-haired woman throwing sticks and rocks at the creatures.

"You leave them alone, you vile creatures!" Sailor Moon plucked her tiara from her forebrow and sent it towards the fox-demons with a "Moon Tiara Action". The fox-tailed ones backed away for a second from the frightened girls.

A second was all Shadow needed. "Keep their attention!" she yelled, making a run for the girls, avoiding a snapping jaw as she did so. She grabbed Genesis and Chibi-Usa by the arms, hauling them through the bush and back onto the main path.

Nearly out of breath, Shadow-chan spoke to her future daughter. "Go find Saber," she told the frightened young girl. "You," she nodded to Chibi-Usa, "go find your friends."

"But-" Genesis began to argue.

"No buts!" Shadow snapped. "Just go!" She turned back to face the creatures, who were all very angered with the loss of their prey. Her thoughts and prayers rested on Genesis at this point...

...there was no way that stupid senshi could beat all these things without help.

* * *

"Saberpilot! Uncle Vash! Uncle Kish! Where are you?" The young half-vempire bawled into the trees as she continued to run around the streets of Tokyo. She stopped in mid-run, gasping for breath. Chibi-Usa had split with the girl about ten seconds ago, yelling that the rest of her friends were probably at 'the shrine', whatever that was. 

Genesis leaned against a nearby fence and began to cry, her tears streaming down her face without her barely noticing.

"Mommy..." she whispered. "Mommy, I didn't mean to make you mad, I just... if you don't love Daddy, I won't- I won't-"

"You won't what?" A voice asked. Genesis jumped in surprise, then turned to look up the fence to see a black cat with violet eyes staring down at her. The child raised an eyebrow and pointed.

"Um... did you just... I mean, did you just talk to me, cat?"

"Who else would I talk to?" the cat responded, a little bit of sharpness in its tone. "The rest of the senshi have run off because of Chibi-Usagi's scream, and I was too short to keep up." The cat looked fairly put-out. "There's something to be said for being over five foot in height," she added, slightly amused.

"But... the senshi?" Genesis asked, and the cat nodded, revealing a sliver of a golden moon shape on its forehead. The girl pondered a minute, then bit her lip. "Did they have someone in their group that had weird blonde hair shaped like meatballs and spaghetti?" She asked the cat.

Genesis didn't understand why the cat almost fell off the fence laughing.

"Oh- yes, sorry," the feline answered, wiping tears away with her paws. "It's just that... my goodness, I've never heard her hair termed quite like that! But yes, she's one of the senshi."

"That's great!" Genesis said, standing up. "You see, Chibi-Usa and I were being attacked by these fox things, and that girl showed up- she glowed for some reason, then was wearing this really skimpy outfit-"

"Wait- the girl with the blonde hair?"

"Yes," Genesis said, straightforward.

"And what happened after that?"

"Mommy saved us, and then we got out- and Mommy sent Chibi-Usa and I to go find everyone- she sent Chibi-Usa to get the senshi, and I was supposed to find Aunt Saber and the others-"

"We haven't a moment to lose!" The cat exclaimed, and jumped onto her shoulder. "If I'm right, and I think I am, I know where your friends are. Chibi-Usa will have gotten the senshi, and we can go and help them. These fox-things sound serious."

"But-"

"Just run- go west!" the cat yelled. Genesis started to trot off, only to look on her shoulder and look at the cat.

"Okay, but... what's your name?"

"It's Luna! Now run!"

* * *

"Shadow!" Saberpilot called, her cat ears and tail up and waving. She, Vash, Mustang, and Kish had been following Genesis for only about five minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. Genesis screamed when she saw Shadow. Luna jumped off the girl's shoulder, staying away from the battle area. 

"MOMMY!"

The fox-creatures had obviously been hard at work against Sailor Moon and Shadow, as both of the girls were exibiting signs of first and second degree burns on their bodies- Shadow not moving. Genesis ran over to her future mother, crying.

"Mommy! Mommy, please wake up, please wake up!" she cried, hitting her mother with her fists. She sobbed, "If it's blood like Daddy needs, I can give it! Just wake up!" Just then a movement underneath her arm got the girl's attention, and she looked up, her violet eyes full of hope. "Mommy?"

"Genesis- you brought them?" Shadow asked the girl, lifting a hand and stroking her hair. Genesis bobbed her head.

"I have them all- Uncle Vash, Uncle Kish, Aunt Saber, Mr. Mustang..." she started to cry, noticing the burns on her mother's hands. Genesis's eyes began to widen when she noticed that the little fire-fox-creatures were starting to come forward again, and they appeared extremely angry.

"Good. Go with them. Get Kish to get me out of here-" she said, and she passed out on the ground. Genesis shook her mother's side.

"Mommy... MOMMY!"

The Vulpix continued to move forward, and Genesis' eyes became wider and wider. Saberpilot ran forward, her DNA bombs in tow. Her gait, however, was not as fast as that of the little creatures'.

"Mommy... I'm scared..." Genesis whimpered. The Vulpix were almost inches away from her, and the little girl began to shudder in fear. One of the nearby foxes snarled at her, and that was all it took to make the dark half of her blood rise within her.

The child's dark brown hair began to rise against the pull of gravity, making it wildly fly all over the place. Her violet eyes bled crimson just as the Vulpix that had growled jumped into the air to attack.

The creature never had a chance.

Genesis opened her jaw and bit into the neck of the creature, allowing blood to splatter all over the place. The Vulpix screamed, fire writhing about itself and Genesis in a last ditch effort to try and overpower its attacker. However, Genesis's young vampire canines were much stronger, and the creature fell limp in her jaw. The girl tossed the creature to the side, and looked at the remaining part of the Vulpix herd, her jaw dripping with blood.

"Oh, Shi-" Saber started, then made a signal to Vash and the others to stay back. "Of all the days that Shadow and Alucard had to have a lover's spat..." The cat-girl started to swear under her breath, then rolled her eyes when she finally figured out the solution.

"Physical attack. Damn it. Right now I can't lay a finger on her. But if I get stressed..." She swore under her breath again, then started to think of the paper she hadn't written for her Women's Studies course yet. However, as compared to before when the boys had come, it wasn't enough to get her stressed. Swearing again, she yelled at Vash.

"Vash! Kish! Start fighting!"

"What?" Both the men asked, raising their eyebrows.

"Just do it!" Saber yelled.

The two bishounen looked at each other, shrugged, and started to yell, albeit most of it was not as 'gentle' as it could have been.

This did the trick, and Saber, now a golden puff of cat, landed on the ground. Within a minute, a similiarly female cat ran up and looked Saber up dubiously. After a few seconds of conversing, the two headed out at the same time, running up behind Genesis as the girl drained another Vulpix.

With a double set of preditorial yowls, Luna and Saber both jumped up onto Genesis's back, digging their claws in at the same time. It brought the girl back to reality, her red eyes turning violet once again. Shaking her head, the child blinked at the Vulpix entrails still hanging out of her mouth, and proceeded to scream. Loudly.

"MOMMY!"

Luna and Saber jumped down, Saber running towards Vash and Kish at the speed of light. Within a few seconds the two bishounen had kissed the blonde cat on the cheek, changing her back into the blonde humanoid cat-girl.

Just then, a group of girls dressed in scantily made sailor outfits ran into the park, stopping right beside the group. Mercury glanced at Saberpilot, the blood surrounding Genesis, and the lone little Vulpix that was backing up against the tree, and raised an eyebrow.

"Well. This explaination should be interesting."

* * *

"Wait, explain this to me again," Makoto said in a disbelieving tone. "That little rug-rat is half vampire?"

Saber nodded. "That's right." The blonde didn't seem at all miffed by what had the brown-haired girl so shocked. "Her mom is Shadow, and her father is a vampire."

"But that's impossible!" Usagi protested. "Vampires don't exist!"

"And neither do talking cats or senshi or evil monsters from the Negaverse," Shadow countered, then cringed as Rei finished bandaging up her hands.

"Eh... I guess you have a point..." Makoto agreed slowly.

"I know," Shadow grinned. Her gaze drifted over to where Genesis was playing with Chibi-Usa. Usagi and Chibi-Usa had given the little girl an extra outfit of Chibi-Usa's so that when Genesis had woken up from her collapsed state of shock she wasn't covered in blood. She hadn't remembered a thing, and Shadow preferred it that way. From what Saber had told her, Shadow was hoping that one, Genesis would never remember what happened, and two, that it never happened again.

"You should go talk to her," Luna advised.

"What?" Shadow asked, looking down at the cat.

"Talk to her," Usagi pressed. "Obviously there's something she's worried about, so talk to her."

"They have a point," Saber agreed. "You know what to do, so go over there and do it!"

Shadow stood up and walked over to where the girls were playing and sat down. "Hey, Chibi-Usa, do you think we can have a moment?"

"Sure," the pink-haired girl chirped, walking over to the table where everyone else was sitting.

"Mommy, I'm sor-"

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry," Shadow cut in, pulling the little girl into her lap, wrapping her arms around the child. "I know I haven't exactly been a very good parent while you've been here, and I guess that much hasn't changed in the future."

"That's not it!" Genesis protested, afraid of making her mother even more upset. "You're just..."

"Always preoccupied?" Shadow finished. "That's still not an excuse for me. But I love you! I could never ever not love you."

"And... you don't hate Daddy?" Genesis asked timidly. "And I won't disappear?"

"Is that what you've been afraid of?" Shadow asked, surprised. "Oh, darlin', you're not going to disappear! I love your Dad! And no matter what you might see happening at home, that's never going to change."

"Do you promise?" Genesis asked.

"I promise."

* * *

"They make such a cute picture," Luna complimented, watching the mother and daughter talk. 

"I'm glad that they're talking about whatever it is that was bothering Genesis," Saber agreed with a smile.

"Perhaps now she'll tame up a little," Roy commented. Kish snorted and rolled his eyes, but didn't voice his thoughts of "as if".

Shadow and Genesis joined the rest of the group, the little girl gingerly holding her mother's wrapped up hands. Both looked less stressed and a lot more relaxed with each other. "Well," the silver haired girl said, "I think it's time for us to go."

"Awww, really?" Chibi-Usa complained.

"Hey, maybe we'll come back and visit," Saber said with a wink.

"Really?" the pink-haired girl exclaimed.

"I suppose. I don't really see a reason why not to at this point," Shadow agreed. "If it's all right with the rest of you."

"I don't think it would be a problem," Usagi said with a smile. The others nodded, smiles on their faces as well.

"Just don't tell your siblings and cousins," Shadow warned, pulling the DGT out of her pocket. "It'll be our little secret."

* * *

"Still no luck?" Jayde asked of Locke, as two groups made up of kids and adults met back at the house. 

The black-haired teen shook his head, worry written all over his face. "I don't know where she could be- and we've looked all over town!"

"We'll find her," Nicholas promised.

"Let's at least get warmed up before we go out again," Al suggested.

"Your mothers would never let us survive if they came home to find you all blue-lipped and frozen solid," Ryou agreed.

"But we can't stop looking for her!" Locke protested, just as a black hole opened up in the ceiling, depositing six bodies into the room.

"Oww! Kish, get off of my arms!" Shadow growled.

"As soon as the brat gets off of me!" the alien replied.

"Who are you calling a brat?" Genesis demanded as she climbed off of the pile.

"Genesis!" everyone shouted at once, running over to the girl, hugging her and talking all at once, asking where she'd been, how she'd managed to go on a jump with the adults, and (from the younger kids) what it was like sliding between universes.

"Well, off with you then," Shadow said good-naturedly. "I'm sure they're all gonna pester you until you wish you'd never come along."

The mass of children all disappeared upstairs to Genesis room, leaving behind the adults.

"Why are you guys all bundled up?" Saber asked, eyeing the men, who were all bundled up in winter coats, hats, scarfs, and all of them were shivering.

"We were out looking for Genesis!" Ed shouted, agitated that the girl had been perfectly safe with Saber and Shadow.

"Well, she's fine," Saber chirped, smiling.

"Sorry that you had to freeze your butts off for nothing," Shadow apologized. "She came along by accident, so, none of us intended for you to get worried."

"What happened to your hands?" Ryou demanded, just noticing the bandages on the silver haired collegiate's hands and arms.

"She had a nasty run-in with some pokemon," Saber answered soberly.

"Not so bad," Shadow dismissed. "A few second degree burns, that's it. You should have seen Saber! From what I hear, she practically willed herself into cat form! Now that's cool."

Saber blushed. "I... had help you know. It wasn't that hard to get overly stressed." Then she added, a bit unsuredly, "And... I'm not sure that's a good thing..."

"But we love you anyways," Vash said, pulling Saber into a hug, planting a kiss on her lips. Saber was more than content to stay there and kiss him back.

"Hey!" Kish began to protest, but Wolfwood just tapped him on the head, then gestured for the alien to be quiet. He growled, but he did hold his tongue as the two blondes cuddled.

"Get a room," Shadow teased, letting Ryou re-wrap her arms.

"Hush you," Saber countered, snuggling closer to Vash. "Just be glad that we're home, we're whole, no one's fighting, and it's peaceful."

A sudden crash upstairs, followed by loud barking, and then by even louder shouting had all of the adults giving her doubtful looks. The Vash and Saber looked at each other and sweatdropped as Saber grinned lopsidedly. "Or... as peaceful as it ever will be."

* * *

:D Peace is always overrated anyways.. please R&R:D 


	21. Home Again

Diclaimer: We don't own anything, yadda yadda yadda... But we've discovered that if we sell Yue-chan's soul on Ebay we make loads of money... and it's not like Yue needs it, right? Anywho, we don't own the anime characters, we just own ourselves, our kids (half their DNA anyways), Yue, Forka, and the dog Pippin. Or the dog owns us... however you want to look at it. Well, enjoy the show!

* * *

Saberpilot sat on the couch, curled up next to Vash while she read a book for her Woman's Studies course. Vash was also reading, though his book was about computers and technology. The Plant was even talking about possibly taking some courses at the university. The two blondes, so buried into their books, hardly noticed the rest of the world around them.

Not that there was much to notice. Winter was starting to fade away into spring and the air, instead of being dry and cold, was damp with just a hint of green on it. One could taste spring coming, if one concentrated enough. The pokemon menace was pretty much a thing of the past, and Kiyone had reported to the group that as far as the Galactic Police could tell, there weren't anymore disturbances. Which meant that everyone else could relax and just take some time to themselves.

Saber and Vash had opted to stay inside and read while most of the kids were outside, playing in what little snow remained. Most of the guys were out playing with them, save for the few who had opted to just stay in and watch television in the upstairs room. Shadow was out with both Alucard and Roy, oddly enough. At a shooting range, no less. Shadow had, strangely, taken to firing a gun, and both men were determined to show her which of them was the better fighter. Not that Shadow had any care in which could shoot a gun better, but it was amusing to watch, or so she told Saber.

Vash casually moved, as if to stretch, then placed his free arm around Saber, hugging her a little closer. Saber smiled, taking a break from her book to just sit there and lay her head against the blonde gunner. It was such a change to be able to relax. Now they didn't have to worry about rampaging pokemon otaku, or destructive pokemon trying to overrun the world. Now all they had to worry about was keeping the cat and dog from getting into mischief, finals, homework, and keeping the kids fed. The blonde cat-girl sighed contentedly.

"Aww, well don't you two make a pretty pair, just curled up there like a couple of cats," joked a voice from the kitchen. Saber grinned at her silver haired friend as she, Mustang, and Alucard entered the house. The vampire vanished elsewhere while she and the military man removed their coats and boots.

"So, did you enjoy the shooting range then?" Saber asked, setting her book down.

"It wasn't bad," Shadow replied with a shrug, walking into the kitchen and coming back with a glass of milk and a slice of bread covered with raspberry jam. "I managed to outshoot Roy before he got irritated with Alucard and flamed the target."

Saber raised an eyebrow at the colonel, but he simply turned his back and walked upstairs.

"He's just mad because I outshot him with his own weapon," Shadow said in a soft tone so that only Saber and Vash would hear her. "It made him a little sore." She drained the rest of her milk and set her empty dishes in the sink. "I'm feeling a bit tired, so I'm going to take a nap while the monsters are outside. You two can go back to cuddling now."

Vash grinned at the half-Plant, giving Saber a gentle hug as the silver haired girl also disappeared upstairs. He looked down at Saber and smiled and she simply smiled back. All seemed well.

* * *

Washu sat in her lab, munching on a small piece of fried sweetbread that Tsasami had brought for her. The treat was covered in powdered sugar, and it hadn't taken long for Washu to devour the small, finger-sized pieces of dessert. She was watching several different computer moniters, each showing various streams of data for different experiments. Even as she did so, she mused over several different thoughts running through her brain, most of which focused on Saber and Shadow.

As far as the pink haired genius could tell, the two collegiates had finally taken care of the last of the pokemon threat, their last battle having been about a week ago. They'd all come over to the Masaki household to let Kiyone know and to celebrate a little when the space officer had let them know that it was indeed the last of the pokemon. Washu had noticed something different about Shadow right away, and when the silver haired girl had passed through her lab, Washu's thoughts had been confirmed. But the collegiate didn't seem to notice anything different, so Washu didn't say anything. 'She'll find out soon enough' the scientist thought to herself.

All of a sudden a soft beeping tone indicated that she had an incoming call. A screen appeared out of nowhere and on the other end Washu could see a woman, nearly identical to Saberpilot, save that this version looked a bit older. "Ah, what can I do for you?"

"Is Maes there?" the future Saberpilot questioned. She didn't seem worried, just a bit strained, as if her child was just starting to try her patience. "I know that he used my time-watch, because it's missing. I told him he could visit until New Years and it's March now."

"Well, he isn't here," Washu replied in an easy-going tone. "He's still at the house."

"Well, do you think you could tell him that its time for him to come home?" future-Saber asked. "He has to go to school at some point... Izumi's beginning to get irritated and I'd rather not let that continue for too long..."

Washu chuckled. "I'll let him know that you called. Bye now!" The screen vanished, only to appear a second later. This time it was Shadow-chan on the other end. Washu could see a bit of desert landscape behind the silver-haired woman, who looked rather irritated. "Shadow, what can I do for you?"

"Is Nicky all right?" the future Shadow-chan asked worriedly. "I mean, I know he's all right, but is he all right?"

Washu understood what the mother was implying - the poor thing was worried that her son was traumatized at having gotten lost and then sent back to the past. She grinned. "He's just fine. He gets along with the other kids so well."

Future-Shadow sighed with relief. "Thank goodness! I swear that is the last time I let Meryl watch my kids-"

She was interrupted as a new beeping tone told Washu that there was a second call. "Hang on, dear, I have another call coming in." She placed Shadow on hold, a second screen appearing. A much older Ryou was sitting there, looking rather serious. "Yes?"

"Would you kindly tell Cecile that she's long overdue?" the blonde man stated.

"I suppose you're starting to get worried, hmm?" Washu nodded.

"No, but if she doesn't get back into school soon she'll be held back a year and-" He was shoved aside as an older version of Kish pushed his way onto the screen.

"If you would, tell my offspring to come home as well. Their mother is going nuts without them here-"

He was pushed aside by Ryou, who looked somewhat miffed. "As I was saying-"

"Hold a minute," Washu interrupted as yet another call came in. Another version of an older Saber sat there, grinning. "Let me guess, Nicholas and Rem?" Washu asked. Before Saber could answer yet ANOTHER call came in.

Washu let out a slightly overwhelmed cry. "One at a time please! Really, I can't keep up with all of you at once!"

The many different screens that were coming up looked at each other through Washu's backresponse monitors, Ryou sweatdropping as he commented, "We look like that show with the divorced kids whose parents remarried, Miss Washu..."

The pink-haired woman stopped and scratched the back of her hair, pressing the button that allowed the last call to go through. "Let me guess," she sighed, not bothering to open her eyes, "Kids late to come home again?"

A pair of red eyes hid behind a set of crimson glasses. "Locke has NOT been having any spell lessons, and Genesis should have been sufficiently tamed by now..." The vampire Alucard hissed, his features the stock-same as they were in the present. A tap on the shoulder caused the vampire to disappear, then reappear behind silver-haired woman whose hair was pulled into a tight bun.

"Washu, it's not that we're complaining- it's just that- the kids DO need to come home. Liam's teachers at Oxford have begun to complain, and Integral-san said that she'd revoke his Heir-presumptive status if he didn't return to his studies." The older woman sighed. "Locke DOES need to work on his spellcasts, and I'm certain that my past self and Saberpilot have managed to tame our little Draculina."

Alucard looked peeved at the nickname his wife gave their youngest child, raising an eyebrow in agitation. He stared straight at Washu. "Tell them that they come back. Now. Or else."

"HEY! What about Jayde and Brannet? Saber can only hold those school-doublet constructs together for only another week-" Kish interjected.

"And the twins have to visit Millie soon- she and that Stephen fellow just had their first-"

"Nicky begins pre-school in a week! What am I supposed to tell the nuns, that he fell off the face of Gunsmoke?"

"And Cecile's Nobel Prize Project-"

"ENOUGH!" Washu's green eyes flared dangerously, and half the parents seemed to calm down- although the future mother of Maes yelped, replacing the image of the blonde Alchemic scientist with that of a rather agitated blonde cat. Within moments, a blonde haired man who bore a strong resemblance to his father Holenheim walked into the room and picked the cat up, raising an eyebrow at the screen.

"Did you have to get her that upset, Washu-sama?"

He kissed the cat, which transformed back into a sightly-blushing Saber. "Ed-kun..."

The supergenius sighed.

"Okay, all of you. I get the general message. You want your kids back. Preferably soon."

"Preferably NOW," Alucard pressed.

The pink-haired genius paused a moment, then typed up a few commands. Her computer made a handful of small, watch-shaped objects appear. A few more keystrokes, and the objects disappeared, only to reappear in the hands of the parents. Washu sighed.

"I'll warn the teens and everyone else that you're coming. PLEASE work out the times amongst yourselves- I do NOT have the patience right now," she sighed, then smiled. "I'm sure it'll be very interesting, though... to see your past selves again."

The mother of Nicholas D. Wolfwood the second grinned. "I'm sure it will be. Well then, I'll see you later," she said, waving good-bye. Just as her screen vanished, a new one popped up in it's place. Washu didn't even wait to see who it was; she just sent one of the watch-shaped objects to the parent in question and ended the call before it could even begin. The other parents said their respective good-bye's and the other screens vanished as well.

Washu placed her arms behind her head and sighed. "Being a super genius is SO hard these days..."

* * *

"Mom," Cecile whispered, leaning over the napping form of her future mother. "Mo-om, wake up." She scooped Rubedo off the floor and danced the cat on her mom's chest. "Wake up, Mom. Time to wake up. Kos-mos has made lunch."

Shadow let out a soft moan then opened her eyes. "Cecile," she gumbled, gently pushing the cat away from her and sitting up. "Darlin, couldn't you have just let me sleep?"

"Nope," the young girl responded with a smile. "You know Kos-mos. Everyone has to eat otherwise she goes into beserk-mode."

Shadow grinned wryly and tossed off her blankets, standing up. "You're right, of course," she said, placing an arm around the blonde girl. "And I suppose we can't let that happen, now can we?"

"Nope," Cecile said cheerfully. The two walked downstairs into the kitchen, just as a knock came from behind the closet door. "Aunt Washu!" Cecile exclaimed, opening the door and hugging the pink haired super-genious. "Want to stay for lunch?"

"I'd love to," Washu grinned, taking a seat at the table. "Looks wonderful. Oh yeah, there's something I think you should know." She paused, taking a bite of food while the adults all looked at her, waiting for her to finish.

"Yes?" Kish pressed.

Washu swallowed, then took a drink from the glass of lemonade sitting in front of her before finishing. "I got several calls from your future selves," she explained. "In other words, kids, you're going back to your own times."

Maes paled a bit. "Oops... Mom did say to be back around New Year's." He looked a bit embarrassed. "She was probably mad..."

"She didn't seem too upset," Washu said offhandedly. "But they are going to stop by. I don't know when," she added before Shadow could ask. "But they'll be here any time-"

"Wait a second, wait a second," Saber stated, standing up from her seat around the table. "Washu, you got... calls? From our future selves?" She blinked. "How is that... nevermind, what I meant to say is, how are they all coming here? And... how would that not upset some form of time strain? I mean, if multiple parallel dimensional versions of one's self showed up and interacted, wouldn't it change, or distort... something?"

Washu shook her head. "Take it from me, kid, metaphysics is less complicated than professors make it out to be. Having multiple versions of yourself in one time period will not distort space or the time continuum. That's just a myth that Einstein started in the twenties so that no one would try and mess with our little dimensional trips we occasionally took to Ishbal."

Ed blinked. "Wait... Ishbal...?"

"Nevermind that," Washu stated, glancing at a nearby clock that was hanging on the wall. "I think that you won't need any explanations in a few seconds. Those two will probably be here in five-"

"Wait, who's coming?" Vash asked, walking into the room and raising an eyebrow. "I heard Kos-Mos had lunch ready."

"Four-"

"They want to take the kids back!" Saber cried, and she ran into the Stampede's arms, tears in her eyes. Rem and Nicholas ran over to where the little blonde was weeping. Xellos raised an eyebrow.

"Three-"

"Who started the chaos without me?"

"Two-"

"Mommy! I don't wanna go!" Genesis cried, running forward and hugging her future mother's middle. Shadow-chan was surprised, but softened up and patted the child's head affectionately.

"One-" Washu continued, rolling her eyes as the expectant blue light appeared in the middle of the kitchen. The rest of the group stopped what they were doing and glanced at the light, which stretched out into a line, then pulled both up and down at the same time, revealing two grown men. After the blue light dissappated, the man with the side-slicked blonde hair stepped forward.

"Hello," he smiled in greeting.

The entire rest of the room fell silent as all eyes turned towards him. Both Shadow-chan and Ryou raised eyebrows in recognition. The other man laughed, then stepped forward, patting the blonde on the back, much to the latter's agitation.

"Loosen up, Ryou," he smiled, then grinned at the others. Part of his black hair fell about his shoulders, fastened in front of two very pointy ears by leather chord. The remainder of his mane fell back behind him, also bound by leather chord. He winked at Saberpilot, even as she was in Vash's arms. "Hey, gorgeous."

The blonde cat-girl pulled herself out of Vash's arms and stepped forward, her blue eyes wide and her tail swishing. After a moment, she blinked in recongition.

"Kish?"

The alien smiled and snapped his fingers. "That's right, hon. Ryou and I are here to collect our little hellspawn. Your little robot clones can only run for so long, and-" he stopped, shook his head, and smiled. Walking forward, he placed his forefinger and thumb underneath her chin. "You haven't changed a bit, and coming back only confirms that, my little Mew Neko-"

"Ahem." Ryou stated, tapping his foot on the floor. He then smiled at those gathered and grimaced slightly in apology. "Sorry, but Cecile's driving the Nobel committee crazy because she hasn't been around to explain her neurosurgeo-"

"Wait, wait, wait-" Shadow-chan held up a hand, and looked at Cecile, who had entered the room with Jade and Brannet, the youngest hiding behind his older sister. "You're saying that our little-" she glanced at the present-aged Ryou- "birthed a Nobel Prize GENIUS?"

Cecile blushed. "Well, it was just an idea of dad's that I furthered... it deals with neurosurgery that replicates brain tissue-"

All but Vash, Washu, Ryou (both present/future) and Saberpilot looked confused by the girl's words. Cecile blushed even deeper when Washu gave her a thumbs up.

Kish, seeing his children, ran over to Jayde and Brannet, scooping up the little boy into his arms and floating up so that he could see him fully. The little boy laughed, then fell into his arms, hugging his father.

"Daddy!"

"Were you a good boy for your mother?" Kish asked, then looked at Jayde, who smiled.

"He was good. And mom managed to get those little behavioral kinks out of his system," she smiled. Her smile then turned bittersweet, and she turned to face Saberpilot, giving the girl a hug. Brannet scampered down out of Kish's arms and gave the girl a hug, then ran back to his father.

"Be good," Saberpilot smiled and waved as Shadow, Ryou, and Cecile said their goodbyes. Brannet and Jayde then waved to present-day Kish, who grinned, and waved at himself and his children as they walked away from those gathered in the kitchen.

Before leaving, the future Ryou stooped to whisper something in Washu's ear, only to have a nod and grin. With a last wave, the Mew Mew children and their fathers disappeared in a blue wave of light.

Saber grinned, then shook her head, tears in her eyes. "I'm going to miss them."

Just then another blue light formed in the kitchen, and Shadow-chan sighed when it revealed an older version of herself, complete with child on the way. The future woman smiled and waved at the younger version of her with a chagrined smile.

"Well, what did you expect?" she asked the younger silver-haired girl.

"I think I need a drink. A strong one." Shadow-chan stated, knowing that the rest of the visits wouldn't probably be as simple as the first one had been.

* * *

"Whew!"

Vash laid himself on the couch and looked at Saber, who had been turned into a cat so many times today from being emotionally upset that it surprised him she hadn't sprouted a set of whiskers. Maes had just been picked up by his alchemically gifted father with a promise that 'Izumi was waiting', and the woman was quite beyond herself with worry for the little blonde tyke.

Not that it didn't worry Vash.

Meeting a fully grown Saberpilot who had come to pick up Rem and Nicholas had been an experience, he had to admit. She hadn't looked all that different, except that she appeared to be much healthier- although he suspected that less stress would probably do that.

...although usually less stress and kids did not go together...

Shadow-chan was now in the kitchen with Alucard- both the present and future versions- saying goodbye to her triad of children.

"Aww, do I have to go?" Genesis asked, hugging Shadow tightly. "How will I get to play with Chibi-Usa?"

"You know the coordinates to her world," Shadow whispered with a wink, hugging the child back then giving her a gentle push. "Off with you then, before I start to tear up."

"Bye Mom!" Liam called in a chipper voice as he and his siblings prepared to leave. With a last wave good-bye the children, along with the future Alucard vanished.

"Well," Shadow said, flopping down onto the couch, "that's the last of them. It's back to just you Saber, me, and all of the guys." Pippin jumped up onto the couch, thrusting his head into Shadow's hand as if to remind her that he was there too. "And Pippin," she added, absentmindedly scratching the dog's ears. The house seemed eerily quiet now that there weren't any children running around causing mayhem. She let out a sigh.

"I guess things really won't be the same without them running around," Saber agreed.

"Yeah, but just think, we'll be seeing them again soon enough," Vash pointed out.

That seemed to cheer Saber right up. "You're right!"

Just as everyone seemed to finally relax and take in the new-found, even if temporary, peace in the house, another time portal opened up, spitting out yet another version of an older Shadow-chan. This older version sported a long silver braid and wore simple jeans and a brown sweater... something that the present Shadow-chan would have been more than happy to have been wearing.

Saber raised her eyebrow at this new-comer, slightly confused. As far as her caculations were concerned, all of their future selves should have come already. There were no children left to claim at any rate...

"Heyla, is Washu around?" the older Shadow asked, looking around. "Aha," she added when she'd spotted the pink-haired scientist. "I needed to ask you about the medicine for Elycium? The poor dear is sick and she doesn't want to miss her first day of school."

"Woah, hang on just one second here!" the present-day Shadow interrupted, standing up to face her future counterpart. "Who's this Elycium you're talking about?"

"Yes, Shadow," Saber replied, looking at her present day co-college student with an eyebrow raised. The blonde had an idea, although it was one she didn't rather like. "Who is Elycium?"

The future Shadow looked a bit stunned, staring at her past self. She then turned her gaze to Washu. "You mean she doesn't know yet?" The future Shadow paled, then blushed, embarrassed. "Did I come a little too far back?"

"Know. About. What?" Shadow demanded in a crisp tone.

"Eh..." The future Shadow began, not quite sure how to say what she had to in a gentle manner.

Washu solved the problem for her by answering, "You might want to start thinking about turning one of those empty rooms into a nursery."

Shadow-chan paled. Everyone turned to look at her, jaws dropped and eyes wide. Saber looked like a deer caught in the headlights as her friend's ...new issue sunk in. Behind them a sudden THUD caused everyone to turn around. Mustang's shock of being a father had apparently just sunk in, because the man, who had been about to sit down, missed the chair.

"Hey, you're not allowed to faint!" Shadow scolded with a touch of humor on her voice. "That's my job!"

Saberpilot sighed, placing her hands on her temples and rubbing them. "Why, oh why, did I have to have a correct hunch this time?" She glanced at Vash, whose eyes were as wide as saucers. Kish looked rather confused.

"She and the Colonel... um..." she said, twisting her hands nervously. Kish shook his head, not quite getting it. Shadow-chan sighed and placed her head in her hands, then looked up at the alien.

"Guys, what she's saying is that I'm pregnant."

Another thud hit the floor, but this time it was Kish, who had landed on the ground quite... hard. He looked up at Washu, and shook his head. Ryou cleared his throat.

"But Miss Washu... how's this possible? If it's still a possibility that we each end up with her... wouldn't there still be an extra kid in each universe named Elycium? I mean... uh..." Ryou's face seemed to be turning pink.

"It's simple," the pink haired genius stated, snapping her fingers, but then winking. "But it's a secret that'll have to wait before you boys leave."

Saberpilot raised an eyebrow, then let out an 'oh' as she realized what the genius had done. Laughing a little, she glanced over at Mustang, who was now recovering slowly by pulling himself back into the chair.

"Guess you'll have to tell Hawkeye the good news," she jibed him evilly. Right now the blonde did not favor him, and it was plain to see that he was NOT on her good side at the moment. "Because if you think you're not at least staying until the baby is born, you have another thought coming. One that will make sure you're a unic for the rest of your life."

Roy's face blanched at the girl's threat.

"Hey, don't... don't worry," Future Shadow-chan exclaimed, still there and apparently having taken in the entire conversation with what appeared to be extremely good humor. "Things will turn out okay, I promise. It won't be easy, but you'll manage just fine." she assured her former self, then glanced towards Saberpilot.

"And you-" she said, pointing at the blonde, "are mistaken if you think that you have an easy road ahead either. You still have yet to introduce him to the parents, and wait till you have to explain things!" she laughed, nodding towards Vash. Saber's face blanched in response, then the older Shadow-chan laughed.

"But don't worry. You'll all be fine." She looked over towards Washu. "I'm assuming that if I go back about an hour or so, you'll still be in your lab-?"

The short genius nodded. "Certainly. Why don't I go with you? I have some last minute preparations to take care of myself, and having two of myself for about an hour won't hurt."

Ryou's head looked like it hurt from all the metaphysics. Alucard looked as though he might kill Mustang any second.

"Well... I won't say I'll see you," future Shadow said, waving as she and Washu pressed the portal button, "but I will say you'll like yourself.. I think."

With that, the two women blinked out of existance, leaving the college household silent for what seemed an eternity until Saberpilot spoke up, clearing her throat.

"What do you want to bet there's been a room in this house labeled 'nursery' that we didn't see until now?"

Shadow-chan sighed, stood up, and with a glance towards Mustang, grinned half-hazardly. "I agree. Why don't we go check it out. We're going to be spending a lot of time in there, it seems..."


	22. All good things come to an end

"But I don't want you to go!" Saberpilot bawled for what seemed the fiftieth time in the past five minutes. Tears came out of her eyes as she clung to Spike Spiegel's blue shirt, making it damp from teardrops. 

Spike grimaced slightly. "I told you, I have to- I have to take care of some stuff as soon as I get back, and I've let most of it wait long enough as it is."

Saber's eyes brimmed with more tears, and she looked up into his red eyes. "But if you go, you'll- you'll-" she burst into a fresh set of cries, her mind torn between his safety and what he needed to do. "You'll- you'll never come back," she whispered, although she had every reason to know that he would not understand what she meant.

After a moment of eye-rolling, and a guilty grimace, Spike laid his hand on her blonde head, ruffling with her yellow strands and scratching behind her cat-ears. He placed a hand on her shoulder, waiting until she looked up into his face.

"Trust me," he smiled gently. "I'll come back. I promise you." He then became serious. "But for now, there are some things I have to do, and until I'm finished with them, I can't come back." His eyelids lowered some, and he stared down at her. "You do understand, don't you?"

Saberpilot nodded, then sniffed, pressing the prescribed arrangement of buttons on the DGT. Spike let go of her shoulder, patted her on the head one last time, and disappeared into the black hole that was waiting for him. Within a few seconds, all traces that he'd ever been there were completely gone.

Once the DGT gate had closed, Saber collapsed onto the ground, letting her tears fall freely. Biting her knuckle, she stifled a sob, her cat ears flattening against her blonde hair.

"I had to let him go... but he doesn't really know..."

Shadow-chan, having heard the sound of someone falling onto the ground, ran in, and upon seeing Saberpilot laying on the ground, nearly fell in her attempt to quickly kneel next to the girl. She placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, then gasped in slight surprise when Saber sat up and started to bawl into her shoulder.

"I had to let him- there was no way to stop him... and I couldn't have dealt with Vincent and the Red Dragons... it's not like they're easy to find, like the Gung-Ho guns... he'd have died no matter what..."

"Shh..." Shadow comforted, rocking the girl back and forth. "You had no choice. He was a grown man, and Julia's waiting for him-"

"But- she's going to die, and he- and he-" Saber sniffled some more. "He promised he'd come back, but- I know he's not going to, and I had to let him go-"

"Saber!" Shadow gently chided her, placing her hands on both her shoulders. "He was a grown man- he probably knew the risks better than you- although, you're right, he probably doesn't know that he'll-" she swallowed and gave her a small grin. "You did your best, and that's all that matters. And he did promise, didn't he?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then he'll come back, don't worry," Shadow smiled.

Saberpilot paused for a moment before nodding. She wiped her eyes, then smiled at Shadow, giving her a hug before she stood up and ran to her room. Within a few seconds, a door slammed, and sobs were heard throughout the hallway.

With a loud sigh, Shadow stood up, only to let herself fall into a nearby chair to relax. Ever since the kids had left about a week ago, each of the bishounen not currently entangled romantically with the college students had found a reason to leave. Xellos had headed out right after the kids had left, and Gene had excused himself a few days later. Alphonse had also returned to his universe, taking little Albedo with him. It made Shadow sad to know that the little Elric would return back to his armored self once he got back, but he'd assured both Saber and she that "he was just happy for having a small taste of what having his body back would be like" and that "he'd be fine."

Then today, Spike had told Saber that he'd have to head back as he had "business to take care of."

It was heartbreaking- Shadow-chan knew exactly what would happen when he returned, as did Saber, but there was nothing either could do to stop him, as evident by his already having left.

Sighing, Shadow-chan closed her eyes, only to hear footsteps. Opening them, she saw Roy Mustang walk into the room, accompanied by Ed, Kish, Wolfwood, Ryou, and a very hesitant Alucard.

"We need to talk," the alchemist stated, raising an eyebrow, and Shadow-chan crossed her arms. Whatever it was, it couldn't be worse than what had already transpired as of late... right?

* * *

"Saber?" a slight knock rapped on the door to the girl's room, but no answer met with Vash's request, except some stifled sobs. Vash looked down towards the ground for a moment, and knocked again.

"Saber, can I come in?"

Another set of half-stifled sobs escaped from inside, but after a few seconds, a hesitant "Yes" answered the outlaw.

With a gentle hand, Vash twisted the doorknob, opening the door with a push. Without looking at Saber, he gently pressed it closed, then walked over to the girl's bed, where she lay haphazardly.

Her blonde hair was strewn about the place, her blonde cat ears wet from being laid against her tear-sodden pillow. When Vash moved a few strands of yellow from her face, he saw how red and bloodshot her eyes were, and gently sat down next to her. He waited as she treid to compose herself, her breaths shallow.

"What is it, little neko?" he breathed, hesitantly reaching out and stroking her hair with his natural hand.

Instead of answering, Saber sat up and launched herself into his middle, holding onto him as though her life depended on it. Her entire body shook, her eyes having cried so much that there were no more tears left to weep. Vash was taken aback for a minute, not entirely certain what was wrong, but wanting to help. He encircled the part of her body touching his with both his arms, just holding her.

She continued to weep until it seemed as though she could no longer cry. Looking up at him with her cat-like eyes, she pleaded with him.

"I- I couldn't stop him, Vash... not him, or the kids... or any of them..."

"What's that?" Vash asked, his voice gentle. "Who couldn't you stop?"

"Spike- I couldn't stop him from leaving... and now, he's going to- now he's going to-" she pleaded with her blue eyes. "If... if you knew someone was going to die if you let them go... would you still let them?" Saber turned her face downward. "I mean... Wolfwood is saved, but Spike-"

Vash's eyes grew wide, and suddenly circumstances compiled in his head that made coincidence make more sense- and explained why she and Shadow-chan had been so pointed in making sure Wolfwood returned with them. He stared at Saberpilot.

"And if it was like that with Wolfwood... then Spike.. you mean..."

"He's going to die..." Saber whimpered. Vash's eyes turned to slits, and he stroked her hair some more.

"The thing is.." he hesitantly put forth, "he knew the threats before he even left..." Saber blinked, looking into his eyes.

"What?"

Vash glanced into the distance. "Spike was talking to the guys the other day- well, myself, Preacher," he grinned at Wolfwood's nickname, "and Mustang. Seems he had a girl back home by the name of Julia. He also told us about some of his past- it was more than colorful," he admitted. "He told us that even though it wasn't exactly the best way to have a good time before he went back to what he lived with... if he had to die when he went back, he thought he'd die happy."

Saber's eyes grew wide, and she hugged Vash close to her out of reflex for comfort.

"So... he knew, then."

"He knew," Vash agreed. "And believe me, he knew you were worried. But he had to go back. If not for Julia... then for himself."

The two of them stayed like that, Saber strangely comforted by the words of Vash, as well as haunted by a promise that 'he'd come back.'

* * *

"So... basically, you boys want to go home?" Shadow-chan asked. Ryou looked uncomfortable.

"It's not that we don't like it here... but, with the kids gone, and Forka taken care of... well..."

"We'd kind of like to get on with our lives," Kish said, although there was a strain of disappointment in his voice. "I mean... not that I don't like it here, but... it's pretty obvious that her heart will never belong-" the alien cut himself off, not wanting to embarrass himself any further. Edward also looked vaguely embarrassed, his cheeks slightly pink. Ryou coughed.

"So basically... you want to leave because Saber's already made it plain who her heart belongs to here, and I'm... well, pregant," Shadow stated plainly.

None of the men looked at her directly, save for Alucard, whose eyes could only be described as slightly pained.

"Well, I guess then-"

"You'll just have to leave with me," a familiar voice interjected. All the people present turned their heads to face a very pink-haired genius, who waved as soon as they all blinked their eyes at her.

"W-Washu?" Shadow-chan blinked. "What are you doing here?"

The short genius laughed. "I'm here to collect the boys and ship them home-" she said, winking. "And to make sure that they also get their happy endings as well."

Shadow-chan raised an eyebrow. "Their happy endings?"

Saberpilot emerged from her room, followed by Vash. With a nod to the gunner, she stepped forward towards Ed and Kish, then looked at Washu.

"I'm ready when you are. Shadow, could I have a strand of hair?"

The silver-haired girl raised an eyebrow, but plucked a single strand of hair as was asked. "I want an explanation later, you hear?" She handed a strand over to the blonde, who nodded to Washu. The pink haired genius grinned, and waved to Vash.

"Don't worry hon, I'll return her safe and sound," she assured the Stampede, snapping her fingers. Suddenly a white wind surrounded the genius and the boys, save for Mustang, who was pelted back into Vash. Luckily the man was prepared, and he helped the alchemist stand up before Shadow could blink.

"...what the heck just happened?"

"Don't worry, she'll be back," Vash smiled. "She'll be back."

* * *

Washu reappeared in the midst of her laboratory, sitting on her chair-pad. The rest of those who had come with her blinked, not used to the form of travel that the genius had used. Saberpilot snapped out of it first, walking over to the pink-haired woman and giving her the strand of hair from Shadow.

Washu pointed to a nearby chair. "You. Sit."

"Hey, what's going on?" Ed asked, uncertain if he should let whatever was going on continue.

"Never you mind-" Washu waved the boy off. Suddenly a helmet appeared on top of Saber's head, and after a few seconds, it disappeared again. The super genius turned in her seat and faced the men, as did Saber.

Wolfwood raised an eyebrow and placed his punisher right behind him. "Mind telling us what's going on?"

"Saber and I noticed a problem not that long ago," Washu started, "with the fact that there were several different fathers for the children that came from the future. This being such, there could only be one possible explanation."

"That there were several different futures possible?" Ryou hazardly guessed.

"Not... quite," Washu answered. "If that were the case, there'd have to be different ways of you and the girls meeting, and that would require Forka to either not exist, or for there to not even be a DGT at all. For this to happen... you would never have met, seeing as how you were in different dimensions."

"Then... how..?" Edward asked.

"There was more than one copy of ourselves in the future," Saber explained. The boys shook their heads in confusion.

"WHAT?" Wolfwood exclaimed. "That- that doesn't... no, that does make sense," he said, but shook his head. "But I don't like it... it makes it seem like... does that mean we married clones or something?"

"No," Saber said, snapping her fingers. Washu pressed a button, and suddenly, a light seemed to shimmer around Saberpilot. After a second, the light vanished, revealing what looked to be an exact replica of her- standing right beside her.

"Wait, wait, wait-" Edward protested, walking up to the replica and staring into her eyes. "You're a clone, aren't you?"

The replicant looked into his eyes and shook her head. "No I'm not. If I was merely a replicant, how would I remember that Mustang was turned into a woman by Forka's anti-bishounen ray? If I was merely a replicant, then how would I be able to tell you that I feel about you like I do about no other man?"

Edward took a step back, and glanced at Washu. "That's not her. She wouldn't say that- she loves Vash-"

"Correction," the other Saberpilot stated. "I love Vash. She loves you. Difference. Major difference." Sighing, she sat down nearby. "What it came down to is that you, Vash, and Kish are all very much alike... too much, in fact- the only reason that I love Vash the way I do is that I've known him longer than the rest of you." The second Saber nodded in agreeance.

"So, this is our solution," the 'replicant' stated. "All of us share one heart and soul- we all love each of you equally- but in this way, each of you has us, and we all have you together- without having to share one body."

"...so basically you share the same soul and mind?" Kish asked. "Is that... healthy?"

"It's the solution we came up with, and I think it works," the first Saber smiled. She then nodded to the second one, who walked over and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder. Suddenly the first one glowed again, to reveal a third Saber, who ran over to Kish and shyly hugged him. The alien turned pink.

"So... you'll all know what's going on in each other's minds?"

"Yes," Saber admitted. "But as for Shadow..." she looked over at the other boys. "I'm afraid that she'll be everything you remember her with, but I was fairly certain she wouldn't like the unethical use of her being cloned. SO," she motioned towards Washu, and after a brief wave of light, three Shadow-chans appeared. "we instead made a version of her from all of her life up to the point before she was pregnant- they won't remember each other, and Shadow will just always assume there were different outcomes."

"So... they're basically full body and soul clones of Shadow-chan, they just don't share a like mind?" Wolfwood asked, walking up carefully to one of the Shadows and touching her on the shoulder. The girl blinked, then raised an eyebrow, looking up at him.

"What do you want, priest?"

Wolfwood grinned at Washu. "That'll do."

The original Saberpilot briefly gathered her 'twins' to her in a last hug, then smiled as she looked towards Wolfwood, Alucard, and Ryou as her other selves ran to Ed and Kish.

"I'm sorry I can't do the exact same for you. But-"

"She is the same as she is in your world, but will be able to change according to ours," Alucard said, smiling as he possessively stroked silver strands of hair and breathed about Shadow's neck. "And that is all I require." He glanced towards Washu. "Scientist, send us home."

"Right away," Washu grinned, and a white wind swept all the bishounen and their mates away to their home universes, leaving Saberpilot and Washu behind. The scientist smiled and looked at Saber.

"That was a very, very brave thing you did. Especially since you had no idea if the soul-tripling bind would work," Washu smiled, and affectionately tussled the girl's hair. "You, I think, will become more than anyone will ever expect of you- and on that note, I believe you should be going back home."

Saber disappeared at that moment, too surprised to notice the white wind that carried her back to her college home.

Washu shook her head, and glanced back at the work on her screen. It was just then that another person entered her visual range, and she raised an eyebrow.

"No. I am NOT sending you home, so don't even think of asking."

"DAMN IT!" Knives complained, his chibi arms crossing. "Just when I thought I had a chance..."

* * *

Six Years Later...

"Rem! Nicholas! Get your little butts down here! Aunt Shadow's coming over tonight, and I do NOT want to set the table, because I drop the dishes every time!" the voice paused, hearing laughter up the stairs, and smiled. "Do you hear me, you little imps?"

Two little blonde heads ran down a flight of stairs, their eight-year old appearance and mentalities certainly not matching their actual human age of four. Within moments, they made their way to the dining room, both of them quickly picking up knives, forks, spoons, and plates to set the table.

Vash. T. Stampede smiled as he watched his little pride and joys happily place everything out, then smiled.

Shadow's visit today would be for a celebration, certainly, and not just because of her recent promotion to Principal of the school she worked at. Kawaii Neko Technology was also expanding their industry, and tomorrow Saber would be announcing to the company that their latest line of AI PDAs would be in the market in about a year.

It was definately a day of celebration.

Suddenly a knock was heard at the door, and Vash rushed to open it, smiling when he saw Saber nervously juggling a grocery bag along with a box filled with wires and casing. Working quickly, he unloaded her of the food and let her place the box upstairs, eager to see what she had later.

Taking the food into the kitchen, the Plant quickly tied together his long blonde hair with a hairtie so that he could sautee the chicken without threat of fire to his locks. After a few minutes, Saber ran down the stairs, her cat ears and tail out, herself in high spirits.

"How were the kids today?" she asked him. "Are they looking forward to tonight and tomorrow?"

"We're here, Mommy!" Rem said, holding out her hands, Nicholas following suit with a set of his own. Smiling, Mrs. Saber Stampede picked up her younglings into her arms.

"And what did you do today?" she asked them, eyeing Vash to let them know she'd get them out of his hair while he cooked. With a wink, he nodded.

"We learned to levi- levi-" Nicholas stumbled over the word.

"Levitate things today," Rem finished. "Daddy showed us how!"

Saber laughed. Her precious children... it was hard to believe that they were already so big... although she really should have expected it. From what she knew of her other selves, Jayde was the only one who could really compete, and Maes was still not old enough to go to school.

Suddenly the doorbell rang again, and Saber placed her kids back onto the couch, but to no avail. They ran right beside their mother to the door to greet their Aunt Shadow, who they knew would be bringing their cousin Elycium- the perfect playmate, as far as they were concerned.

"Shadow!" Saber exclaimed as she opened the door. Her best friend of many years came bursting in, Elycium already running in behind the blonde woman to tackle the twins. Shadow smiled and walked into the house, giving her friend a hug.

"My God! Saber, I swear I don't know how you do it- if it were anyone else, I'd have my doubts as to the fact that you were the co-President of Kawaii Neko!"

"And if you were anyone else, I wouldn't believe that someone could become Principal of an Elementary school within their first two years of teaching!" Saber retorted. After a few seconds of standing in silence, the two women burst out laughing, making the children glance over at their mothers, shake their heads, and continue to chatter amongst themselves.

Just then, Vash came out of the kitchen.

"Chicken's read-oh! Shadow!" the six foot man ran over and embraced the woman, taking a look at her. "Saber's right- you do have to be the best looking school Principal I'VE ever seen-"

"Stop it, Stampede," Shadow smirked. "You already have a woman."

The man grabbed Saber playfully into his left arm and kissed her forehead. "Oh, I know I do. And a damn good one at that."

"Vash!" Saber complained playfully. She then blushed, not having really changed that much since her school days. "But... I forget myself. Vash, you said the chicken's done?"

"Yessir," he saluted with his free hand, and used it to show the way to the kitchen.

"I have so much to catch up on..." Shadow mused as she walked into the kitchen. The twins, beckoned by psychic invitation from their father, joined the adults, Elycium in tow. It was just then that a nearby empty chair became less vacant as Washu apparated into the chair. Shadow raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't think Tsasami's food was THAT bad," she commented, and the genius smirked.

"It's not Tsasami's turn tonight, it's Ryoko's. And I do NOT want to see what her and Tenchi's spawn can do to decorate the ceiling with food tonight," she half-grinned. "I swear, Motoko gets bigger every day- and she's only a few months old!" she giggled.

"Someone's a happy Grandmother," Vash commented. "I remember when you said a while back-"

"Well, I was wrong about Ayeka. And I'm glad," she harrumphed. "She and that Prince fellow were better for each other anyways. Not that I'm complaining, but I did have my future invested in Ryoko to have a grandchild before I hit four thousand!" she laughed.

"...four thousand?" Elycium asked, then looked at her mother. "Mom, why is Aunt Washu-"

"Not now," Shadow-chan smiled. "Later." She glanced over at Saber and grinned. "She's at the 'why' phase."

"Ah," Saber nodded. "I remember that. We had to explain Uncle Knives." She shuddered. "I do NOT want to remember that, for as long as I live."

"But anyways, onto other things..." Vash started, the conversation continuing late into the night over the food he had cooked.

* * *

As the night drew closed, it dawned upon Shadow that almost six years ago she and Saber would have never dreamed of the present time they lived in. She looked over at Elycium, who was sleeping next to her two cousins, and grinned.

An unexpected, but wonderful surprise. Bringing a child into the world while she was still in college had been difficult, but the rewards had been worth it. And as for Saber and Vash... well, that had almost been a fairytale ending if she'd ever seen one.

Glancing at the stars, she had to grin. She and Saberpilot had been working on compliating all their adventures into a novel, the past couple months. Her editor friend had said that whenever she released it, fame and fortune would probably start mounting at their door.

But... she could do without all that for now.

Until then, all she wanted to be was Shadow-chan, friend of Saberpilot, a former college girl who had once saved the world.

And that was enough.


End file.
